A lil Spicy. A lil Thicc.

[tenderfeeling]

*naruto runs into your heart*

[anxietyproblem]

[champagnepadre]

me: I’m YELLIN me really:

[wreckfull]

how do people sneak out of their house??? I could be going to pee in the middle of the night and my mom will be like what tf you doing 

[newshoes]

[c1504]

Whenever I need motivation I just google Gordon Ramsey 

[diarygirls]

me vaccinating my future children

[bunney]

lets be real guys if theres ever a zombie apocalypse do you even know how many white girls are gonna try and find a zombie boyfriend like in Warm Bodies 

[dekutree]

there’s this guy that looks just like will.i.am at my school and i whisper “let the beat rock” every time he passes me and he always just looks around trying to find who said it

[caroldanversenthusiast]

i found this sketch on youtube and i can’t stop thinking about it

[bombing]

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]

[scenicroutes]

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

[sweetstardrop]

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

[scenicroutes]

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

[dj-bsnow-deactivated20130913]

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude

[wheatlev]

Horton hears somebody he used to know

[not-a-comedian]

do you ever regret drawing something

[bled]

can i politely murder you

[grimdark]

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

[meladoodle]

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

[meladoodle]

[meladoodle]

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

[auburngal]

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

[anxietyproblem]