DEPUTY HOT - HEAD.

[walshgun]

this  is  a  private      &      selective 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐡 blog , loosely removed from the walking dead canon & written as an original portrayal. this is entirely headcanon based , as well as extremely canon skeptical. cherished  by  darian. highly triggering  content  will  be  present  ,  but  will  always  tag  with  example:  blood /.   muse     &    mun  are  25+  ,     &    this  blog  will  contain  serious  adult  themes. ​   minors      &     personals dni. this blog will be medium activity. other blogs: @redfraser , @gravelena

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please note: this blog is an unreliable narrator , & will be written in third person. it's important to mention that my version of shane is much more complex than his novel/series counterpart. while i may pull on a mix of canon comic/show lore from time to time , do not automatically assume you know him or his motivations. DEAD DOVE , DO NOT EAT.

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studying  themes  such  as :   selfishness  , losing humanity , doing the wrong thing for the right reasons ,  obsession   , self hatred  ,  loving what you can't have  ,  loss , survival  ,  stolen leadership  ,   &   going off the rails.

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canon divergences below. trigger warning for mentions of familial abuse.

shane is a deeply closeted queer man. he's been in love with his best friend , rick grimes , for years , ever since high school & college. rick , having always been in a romantic relationship with his high school sweetheart lori , was always out of shane's reach. he started sleeping with anyone & everyone he could seduce , as a way of burying his feelings by conquests , but the feelings he carried for rick were never far from the surface. it didn't help that he grew up in a very southern , homophobic household , with an abusive father who'd occasionally beat shane into shape. his hyper - sexuality & pointed masculinity were a symptom of that abuse , but he never spoke about it , least of all with rick.

the feelings eventually grew into an obsession , one he barely acknowledged , but became too hard to ignore as the world fell apart. he tried to save rick that day in the hospital as it got overrun , but when he realized they'd both die in the process , he sealed up his room & prayed to whoever was listening that he'd make it through. he didn't have much faith , though , despite growing up in the church. god had never done anything for him , but maybe he'd be there for rick.

weeks passed. the dead started walking , cities got bombed , & he managed to get rick's wife & child to the outskirts of atlanta safely. this was the first time in forever that shane had ever been without rick by his side , & he didn't exactly know what to do with himself. he latched onto lori as a lifeline , & in the process started obsessing over her , too. he viewed her & carl as extentions of rick , pieces of him that still lived , given his nonexistent faith that rick had survived the hospital. him & lori started an affair , with shane silently thankful she never questioned why she was usually on her stomach , & why he kept his eyes closed.

rick survived. he appeared like a ghost after a run one day , showing up in their camp with open arms for his family. all those old , painful feelings came rushing back , & a piece of shane broke. he wanted rick. christ , he wanted him , not his family , not lori. but having lori was easier , it was what he should want. shane's mental health started to deteriorate , worsened by the alcohol he consumed the night they stayed in the cgc. he came to lori that night , desperate to sleep together , to rekindle what they had , but in his drunken state he'd called her rick. he'd slurred his name , imagined it was his best friend instead , & as he broke down into tears , lori ushered him out of the room before anything could happen. she didn't tell rick of this revelation.

shane got worse during the stay at hershel's farm. he could feel his compassion slipping , for everyone involved. it was easy to pull the trigger , to not care whether he hurt someone. andrea meant nothing , she was just a warm body he could be with & pretend it felt good. it didn't , but her company was a welcome distraction. his final straw was when rick started to lean toward daryl as his confidant , icing shane out of plans. he lost it. he didn't really have a plan , once he lured rick out into the field. he didn't really want lori , if anything she was irritating. the world had fallen apart , societal structures didn't matter anymore , why did his marriage have to ? why couldn't the two of them just give in , admit what they both felt ?

shane was tired. he was broken. he wasn't really going to kill rick , but on some level , he didn't mind if he died. it was easier than the torment of seeing the man he loved stay with someone else.

[t1melost]

this  is  a  private , iconless ,      &      selective 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢 - 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 blog , containing muses from: asoiaf , doctor who , star wars , fallout , farscape , yellowjackets , etc. all loosely removed from canon & written as original portrayals. these are entirely headcanon based , as well as extremely canon skeptical. studying  themes  such  as:   human  nature  ,  undying  devotion  ,  nature  versus  nurture  ,  found  family  , childhood trauma ,  the  hero  complex  ,  survivor’s  guilt  ,  broken  promises  ,   &   new  beginnings.

it's important to mention that my versions of characters are often much more complex than their novel/series counterparts. while i may pull on a mix of canon book/film/show lore from time to time , do not automatically assume you know them or their motivations. DEAD DOVE , DO NOT EAT.

created  by   darian   (  29  ,  she/her  )

[walshgun]

do i think if shane had been with a man at some point he would’ve moved on from his obsession with rick ? no ! do I think he still should move on & get a post apocalyptic boyfriend ? yeah !

[kaafii]

The Time Traveler's Wife (2022)

[kosmogrl]

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

[walshgun]

anyway , it was easy for shane to connect with the new world mindset than rick was initially because shane was already damaged.

[endverse]

That is my best friend. That’s the man I love. I love him like he’s my brother.

rick + shane the walking dead seasons 1-2

[walshgun]

something something , instead of shane getting killed in s2 , either him & rick start an affair instead , or rick forces him to leave for his own mental health. this would’ve been challenging , however , due to shane’s knowledge of lori’s pregnancy.

[laterkiss]

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

[walshgun]

small reminder that shane does still sleep with women , but there’s no emotional attachment on his end - it’s like having sex with a friend to pass time when you’re both bored.

[recordmemes]

༘⋆｡ stirring the pot starters

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

i  thought  you  were  different.

[spacefarerbee]

a very important shot

[frontmansdog]

to be completely honest *starts lying

[mournfulroses]

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a poem titled "Interim," featured in The Complete Poems of Edna St. Vincent Millay

[billy-crudup]

THEO JAMES as EDDIE HORNIMAN in THE GENTLEMEN | S1EP1: Refined Aggression Created by Guy Ritchie

[walshgun]

something something , rick killing shane being the ultimate form of intimacy shared between them. his knife piercing his heart of all places , shane's hand on rick's cheek as he died-

[walshgun]

rewatching early twd has messed with my brain fundamentally