Walter E. Jacobson, MD @walterjacobsonmd - Tumblr Blog

If you enjoyed this clip, you'll want to see the entire video, "Can People Change?" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-d4iSppnG8&t=467s When you have been abusive and toxic to loved ones, and you eventually realize that you need to change, and you start making changes, you discover that they aren't warm and fuzzy towards you. They're still angry and resentful. That's because you caused the damage in the relationships, and it's going to take time, even with your best efforts, for them to heal, let go of their anger, forgive you and respond to you with more warmth and affection. So you need to be patient and not get angry if you're not getting the results you want fast enough. If you make a big deal out of it, you set the entire process back. They'll see that you're still into controlling everything and trying to get your way, and it will take longer for the trust to be restored and the healing to be accomplished.

Accidents don't just happen. At least not much of the time. Oftentimes they are caused by us. We create the accident because we are not paying attention. Had we been paying attention, the "accident" wouldn't have happened. We should save the word accident for when something happens that is beyond our control, but if it is something that we could have avoided by being more prudent or less impulsive, reckless, and/or thoughtless, it's not an accident. It's us creating our reality, and a destructive one at that. Best that we pay attention and avoid creating unnecessary problems.

It's nice to want to please people but if it is done excessively and to such a degree that you are taken advantage of and your own needs aren't being met, then it's dysfunctional and needs to stop. By understanding how you became this way, you can undo the negative self-definition and embrace your authenticity.

Loneliness isn't about not having friends or not having a significant other. There are plenty of people with friends and significant others who are terribly lonely. Loneliness has to do with feeling disconnected from humanity. So what's the solution? Watch the video.

We see faults in others to avoid seeing faults in ourselves. It relieves our anxiety and helps us maintain some semblance of self-esteem. But it is not without a price. Rather than hide the truth about ourselves from ourselves by constantly pointing the finger at others, it's best to hold a mirror up to ourselves, have the courage to look at the truth of who we are, and if we don't like what we see, then change who we are.

Climate change? Arson? Incompetent leadership? Bad Luck? What if, when the level of rage in people reaches a threshold, the RAGE is converted into bad stuff happening, like RAGING forest fires? #foodforthought

When you are engaged in disagreement with someone, as soon as it becomes obvious that the person is severely biased, close-minded, brainwashed, unwilling to think critically, whatever it might be -- disengage. Save yourself a lot of time, aggravation and stress. Stop texting or verbally jousting with people whose opinions you will never change, and put your time and your life to better use.

Denial is a defense mechanism that is very helpful in terms of reducing our anxiety by removing unpleasant thoughts from our mind. Our subconscious mind stores the truths about ourselves and keeps them from our conscious mind, thinking it is protecting us. To some degree it is. But when denial is used excessively, then it becomes a negative force in your life that leads to self-sabotaging behaviors. So it is important to hold a mirror up to yourself and look at the truth of who you are so that you can make wise decisions going forward that will lead to health, happiness, and sustainable, satisfying relationships.

Your thoughts are powerful. If your thoughts are full of judgment, fear, anger, resentment, etc., then you are contributing to the aggression, violence and war in the world. If your thoughts are full of acceptance, compassion and forgiveness, then you are contributing to a peaceful, loving, supportive, healing world. So the point is to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts in order to heal and improve yourself and the world.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop putting yourself down and calling yourself names. Stop telling yourself you're a loser. Stop telling yourself it can't be done. Stop telling yourself to give up because nothing will ever work out. So tell that Inner Critic of yours to SHUT UP! AND THEN: Love yourself. Value yourself. Build yourself up. Remind yourself of your good qualities and talents.

Live life boldly. That is the lesson. No matter what hand you are dealt, you have a choice as to how you play it. Play your hands strongly and confidently, regardless of how good or bad they may be. This can make all the difference in your success.

The Law of Attraction works whether we fuel it with positive thoughts or negative thoughts. If we fuel it with positive thoughts, then we are more likely to attract positive outcomes.

There is always a trigger that sets a panic attack into motion. It can be a conscious trigger. Somebody says something about their job and this brings up anxiety and fear about your own job, and then the panic sets in. Oftentimes, the trigger is unconscious so what you want to do is try to bring the unconscious fear, conflict, ambivalence, whatever it might be, to your awareness by looking at what's going on in your life and honestly considering aspects that are unsatisfying which may be generating the anxiety and panic.

Acceptance of the way of things is key. Acceptance that everything changes, leaves fall off trees, people get old, fall apart and die. To dwell on what you can't change and fill your mind with anger, depression, anxiety, regret, jealousy or any number of other negative emotions is to ruin the time that you have here. Shut down your thoughts when they want to go dark on you. Count your blessings. Be in the present moment, enjoying as much as you can. Try to take care of your mind and body as best you can.

This video discusses the importance of forgiveness and self-acceptance in healing one's inner self and transforming the unconscious mind in order to attract positivity.

Manifest the reality you desire. Create the life you want. How? Focus your positive energy, your affirmations, and your visualizations on the life you want to have, as if you already have it, as if it is already a reality. And your subconscious mind will do the work to attract the people, places and circumstances to make it happen. This is not magical thinking.This is the science of mind. It takes discipline, practice and persistence. It works if you work it. And then you will be the director and the star of your life story. #realitymanifestation #alltheworldsastage

When somebody behaves badly, you can perceive them as an awful human being who is attacking you or you can choose to change your perspective and see that person differently. You can see somebody who is in emotional pain and is calling out for love by attacking you. It's very bizarre but that is what is going on. These people are so unhappy and there is so much self-loathing within them, so they project all of that self-loathing onto others and attack others but what they really want is to be loved and validated and appreciated. But they don't know how to express those needs in a healthy way, so it comes out very dysfunctional and oftentimes toxic. It is extremely difficult to love, validate and appreciate somebody who is being toxic to you, but if you are able to rise above the battlefield, so to speak, and see a loving person needing love, despite how badly they are behaving, and you can extend love and compassion, that can be a very healing moment for both of you. By doing this, you are not negating the wrong that they have done and you are not enabling it or condoning it, you are not suggesting that there should not be consequences of bad actions. You are just choosing to respond in a compassionate and loving way. If you are angry and hateful towards somebody who is calling out for Love, you are just reinforcing the problem. If you can surprise them and yourself by responding with compassion and generosity of spirit, you are the solution.

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Walter E. Jacobson, MD