Some thoughts on change and home~~
I’ve always liked change.
In ways I think most people don’t…?
I love the newness, the unknown, the wonder, the adventure.
As long as I can remember I have chosen change when I had the opportunity.
Through my life, shyness overwhelmed me. It was who I was… yet, somehow, change kept calling my name anyways. I think because of my shyness I desired having the ability to make the uncomfortable, comfortable.
The ability to move on, be in a new realm… it pulled me in. My shyness was put on the back burner, although, it still haunts me at times.
But, luckily, the desire for change was more powerful. It directed me to places I always wanted, but didn’t always think I’d succeed in finding.
Times like these, when I find out my second of two childhood homes is about to be sold and I will soon live without the comfort of knowing I could go home at any point will soon be gone… frightens me.
I try to remind myself of my love for change. And that this is only but another one of those changes I constantly crave.
But it’s different when you don’t have the choice. I’ve always chosen change. But I never realized changes I didn’t chose would be this much harder to accept.
With every change I’ve made, I’ve still had the comfort of home to fall back on. I’ve always had the pieces of home staying in the place I wanted them. I always thought these pieces of home would stay just where I needed them to stay, in order to stay comfortable in the change I created.
But that’s no longer there. Most of that has already gone away and the rest is heading in the same direction.
I’ll no longer have a home as a location coordinate. From now on, home will only be certain people’s souls and the places they move around. Home is fluid I guess, just like anything else in this world.
From now on, my home will only be in the people I love and this is a change I am going to embrace and learn to appreciate.
My home will now be endless. It will continue to grow and that’s something I should be excited about.