@warmsuggestion - Tumblr Blog

The entire earth smells like hose water.

Tonight we're filling the bong with hair gel.

I'm always waiting for something to dry these days.

Advocaat and Serpentine are good names for chickens.

It's all one long headache.

A yogurt covered raisin was sentenced to five years in prison earlier today for not tasting good at all.

I hate everything that's straight from the horse's mouth. I want nothing to do with that sort of mouth.

Every joke is an inside joke if you say it quietly enough.

Restaurants are now offering bowls of room temperature root beer for unbelievable prices.

I fell asleep outside with my mouth open and I woke up with a full bird’s nest in my throat.

All meats should be called beef. There would be beef, pig beef, fish beef, elk beef, bird beef, and so on and so on forever.

I'm sick of getting spiders in the mail.

You'd think that stained glass would taste better than normal glass, but you'd be wrong. It all tastes pretty much the same.

Who is Magnesia and why does he have so much milk?

You're my favorite onion.

I have never known what to do.

Everything I have ever said has either been extremely real or just a joke. I have never been wrong.