The Future Plan @warofthesuburbs - Tumblr Blog

So lost. Just make me feel. And can't take the world that just wants me to breeze past everything. There's no time for emotions. No room for emotions.

I am a different person than who I was and who I wanted to be. And I don't know how to get back.

Please. Hurt me.

The numb is too much.

Ask me of my dead sister.

Ask me all the gritty details.

Ask me what happened. Ask me how I showed up at the door of my parents out of guilt, though I was sure she'd be around for months longer, only to find that she died 2 minutes before I walked in, leaving my mother alone in her pain, her loss. To be the first to comfort.

Have me tell you of the minutes that will not leave my head, and how numb I make my self to continue, even though I felt not strongly about her when she lived.

But I'll tell you how it keeps me alive, even more so than the Prozac that let's me get out of bed some days and actually talk.

Just keep me alive.

Hurt me.

I've forgotten the paths to the homes of my childhood friends. All that remains are sections of roads and where I was stopped by a cop for the first time in my life.

casual casual casual casual casual suicidal thoughts are casual casual casual casual.

Does the wind blow if you’re not there?

Does the water fall, if you’re not there?

Do flowers grow?

Which way does the earth turn, if you’re not there?

What am I supposed to think, if you’re not there?

Is there air, if you’re not there?

Who’m I supposed to be?

Where’s my source, if you’re not there?

What am I, even, if you’re not there?

Guess I’ll just have to suck it up.

#poem #poetry #mine #shit #words