Fuck You You Fucking Fuck

Warren Westfield

[warrenwestfield]

That’s good, because you’re cute and all but so not my type. There’s this little ice cream shop that is a couple blocks from here and it is always open super late.

[warrenwestfield]

And I’m sure there is nothing you did to make your coach want to bust your ass even more.

[warrenwestfield]

I can swing it. Don’t go getting any ideas that this is a date though.

[warrenwestfield]

Mom, really was justified in her saltiness. Are you ready for your next swim meet?

[warrenwestfield]

Well, come on. I need ice cream stat.

[warrenwestfield]

Which is kind of gross, but lets not talk about that.

[warrenwestfield]

Yeah, and Uncle Mikey. Although, I think he was just salty Mom called Nathaniel bathtub for so long.

[warrenwestfield]

Iconic. So since you’ve decided to pass on drunk brother duty, do you want to ditch this place?

[warrenwestfield]

You’re not wrong. From the stories her saltiness could rival Grandpa Nate’s.

[warrenwestfield]

As it should be. Some people just don’t understand that.

[warrenwestfield]

Aunt Brandi is my role model.

[warrenwestfield]

A girl with priorities. I knew I liked you.

[warrenwestfield]

You act like that surprises you Jace. Have I taught you nothing over the years?

[warrenwestfield]

You could put his head in a trash can. Now, your problem is solved.

[warrenwestfield]

Jasmine isn’t wrong, Bonnie is an unfortunate name.

[warrenwestfield]

Aw, look at you. I’m so proud.

[warrenwestfield]

Let’s just call it my gut intuition. Or maybe my bitch radar.