spider-man, spider-man does whatever a spider-man does...

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN needs a goddamn break selective - private - independent peter parker the amazing spider-man

[washedupwebs]

“--Happy Holidays, everyone. Make sure to spend time with family and friends! As for me, I’ve go a Children’s Hospital to make an appearance at; Spider-Claus is on the way!”

[washedupwebs]

pollyparty‌:

“No fucking clue! I just know it does! As much as life doesn’t make sense, death makes, like, 10 times less sense. That equals to shit sense! That’s why there’s no laws for the dead!”

“--Well, you’ve got me there,” came your reply. “I don’t remember there being any clause for the dead. Hmm.” In a world such as this, you’d think there’d be something. What with how extraordinary Earth has become lately. “I guess as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

[washedupwebs]

pollyparty‌:

‘I get what you’re saying about stealing hearts,” Polly responded with similar finger guns. “Zombies don’t even notice when you do it if you’re sneaky enough. But, moral codes are against my moral code. Who needs morals when you have 200 pounds of shrooms to coat in coke?”

“--I’m glad to say I’ve never met a zombie; unless Deadpool counts. I really hope that isn’t the case.” He might as well have been one. To her response, you cocked a brow. “If you’re dead, how would that even work on you? You’re a ghost, right? Also, that kind of stuff is illegal around here; I’d appreciate it if you stayed away from whatever ghost drugs might be involved.”

[washedupwebs]

Rosa sings, "spider-man, spider-man, cannot do what a spider can. I haven't seen him suck any blood, hasnt murdered a single bug -- watch out! he's not a very good spider."

“–Why you bully me?” you ask, sounding goofy.

[washedupwebs]

starter call!!

[washedupwebs]

karismatickitty‌:

‘ i think you should focus a little more on your attire when you approach people, especially teenage girls. ’ the reason she was so hostile steamed from the face he was a strange, in a full body suit, trying to talk to her!

‘ besides, i’m working on my likes. –i’m trying to be insta famous here. ’

“--Wowzers,” was your reply. “I REALLY pissed you off, didn’t I?” You couldn’t understand teens. Sure, you were a teenager once--but your experiences were unique. Being bite by a radioactive spider and gaining enhanced strength, the ability to stick to walls, and foresight wasn’t a typical day for teens nowadays. Not counting Miles, of course. But that was a dimension and a half away.

“--They’ll be nothing to like if you’re hit by a car,” you said next. “And my outfit? Is that the problem? Of course I wear one. Yeah, it can be a little....tight--but I wear it for good reason.”

[washedupwebs]

karismatickitty‌:

‘ if i wanna get hit by a car, i’m gonna get hit by a car! –no grown man running around in SPANDEX is gonna tell me how to live my life. ’

That was unexpected.

“--If you wanna get hit by a car, I feel obligated to point you in the direction of the nearest hospital,” was what you said. “Look, I didn’t mean any harm by it. And I’d never tell ANYONE what to do--but I do think you should be a little more focused on the road instead of your phone.”

[washedupwebs]

@karismatickitty

“--You should really look before you cross the street,” came your voice from above. You were perched neatly a top the light post. “A lot of drivers don’t pay attention, y’know.”

[washedupwebs]

your friendly neighborhood spider-man is swinging to a blog near you! like, reblog, blah blah blah–if you’d like to interact with an average guy who shoots webs and catches bad guys.         i’ll keep a watchful eye; i’m just that kind of guy         i am the spider-man; i am your spider-man         i’m your friendly neighborhood spider-man!

[washedupwebs]

peter needs to get paid for saving the city.

[washedupwebs]

Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Starter Sentences

“–I like to think of fear as more of a common cold,” you said. “It’s easy to spread and infect people–but all you need is a strong dose of medicine to wipe it out completely. I like to think that I’m that medicine.”

[washedupwebs]

nobilisaffectus replied to your post: "Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays...

“W–Wait… spider-man cookies? Like… sugary? With icing? Fluffy, warm and smooth?!”

“--Maaaaybe,” came your reply. “However! If you’d like one, you’ll have to promise me to do at least ONE good deed today.”

[washedupwebs]

"Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when PacMan dies." Alecto snorts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Starter Sentences

“–Well then,” you began. “I guess I’ll have to share these delicious spidey-themed cookies with someone else.”

[washedupwebs]

"You got a badditude. That’s a bad attitude." Ariela nods.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Starter Sentences

“–I like to think that my badditude level is relatively low on the bad attitude scale,” was what you said.

[washedupwebs]

fidelisfatum replied to your post: Yes, 911? What’s the safest way to set a car on...

“I wondered why it wasn’t working!”

SQUINTS AT LOUDLY.

[washedupwebs]

pollyparty‌:

“Totes! If you want my advice on cheap ‘cloaking tech’, just fucking die. Cost-efficient and good for the environment, I’m guessing. You won’t be able to eat anymore, but you can’t get hurt either and can’t die again, so you can do whatever the fuck you want.”

“But if you’re not into that scene, you could always just steal some.”

“--Ah, I don’t think dying is all too worth it. A lot of bad crap would happen if I decided to kick the bucket any time soon, anyway.” You offered the ghostly girl a shrug. You weren’t surprised to be speaking with a ghost...thing. Nothing really surprised you anymore. “Stealing is kind of against my moral code,” you then said. “The only thing I ever try and steal are the hearts of the people of New York.” You gave the girl some finger guns. 

[washedupwebs]

Yes, 911? What’s the safest way to set a car on fire?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Starter Sentences

“–You’re holding the phone upside down.”