💭

nuzzos depressing side

[minimaletic]

Friday motivation

https://www.instagram.com/minimaletic/

[danger]

[vikhau-deactivated20160119]

[wakeners]

[showstudio]

[danger]

[serious]

[wasted-opinion]

Fake Friends

9th October - 22:32

I still haven’t come to grips with what you did to me, how it all unfolded or how it all even started. You were my best mate, probably the person i valued the most and trusted and respected every opinion and every statement you made, even if I didn’t agree I tried to justify it in order to understand and see where you were coming from. You fucked me up. I have been through some shit, more than a small amount of it, but all of it added up and made into a huge bundle of heartbreak and depressing memories couldn’t have prepared me for the moment I realised you were fucking her, before I realised that my best fucking friend had a girls number that I was infatuated with, saved as a different name in his phone. Ive thought back to that night so many times, and all the times before hand and how much it all hurts and how I want to be best friends, and hang at your house for hours on end just listening to music, but I can’t get past that image, I can’t get past that deep pain I remember feeling. She was so far my girlfriend, but you knew how much I liked her, how many hours I’d spent stressing over her because I was messaging you about it all; which message I should send her, what time I should text her to not seem creepy but still get to hang out with her, all of it you helped me decide. I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while just to get it off my chest- and to think that I viewed you so highly and after fucking her, hiding it from me for 10 weeks and then to this day still not apologising face to face is unbelievable. I would’ve done anything for you, and for you to treat me like this and leaving me here thinking you didn’t even care about our friendship is fucked, that’s all there is to say. I’ve used that word so much throughout this but I don’t even know how to explain it still.

It’s funny to think the longest expression I’ve written is about a guy - and I honestly believe that you were that friend that everyone talks of as being the ‘one’ that you just always get along with, that friend that you know everything about and feel so comfortable it’s almost like they’re closer than family. The ripple affects from your actions is what hurts even more, I don’t want to see the boys because I’ll see you, I don’t like going out because I’ll be reminded of all the good times we had in the clubs and just everything’s fucked up.

Congratulations you’ve put yourself as the pinnacle example of the shittest so called ‘friend’ in the history of fucked stories of my life.

Fuck.

S.N

[serious]

[suspend]

You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists. And I’ve always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that. I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn’t even know they were looking for. People who think they know what they want are fooling themselves. Nobody really knows what they want. Not until it’s right in front of them.

Anonymous (via suspend)

[screenshotsofdespair]

[extramadness]

[wasted-opinion]

It's all a mindset. It's all a mindset. It's all a mindset.

[wasted-opinion]

3 day rule

Has anyone ever actually done this whole '3 day rule' and it worked for them? Half of my friends are telling me to just forget about her and that she isn't worth it if it's putting me in moods like this, but then doesn't that mean that she is worth it? Considering I'm getting so down when we don't speak. The other half just want me to be happy, but this '3 day rule' has been brought up a lot. The concept is where you don't contact them for 3 days and if they don't make effort then you know when you stand with them. I like to think I'd get a message from her within three days if I were to try it, but who wants to risk that?? I couldn't focus at all today, I've got two more exams before holidays and I couldn't even study because my mind is elsewhere. I hope she hasn't already made the decision that it's done... whenever my phone lit up today I was hoping it was her, a Snapchat, a like on facebook even anything small to just show she's still there and what we had isn't gone. But I've got little hope in that now, and you may ask why it's like this but it's too long to explain here, just know that I have so much hope that it can go back to what it was because it was indescribable. I thought it was anyway. But i guess if I don't receive a message after these three days I know it wasn't as special for her as it was for me. I want to put it all behind me and move forward into the summer holidays. I want that so bad. Time holds the answer to everything, and as nerve racking as it is, I need to wait for my answer. S.N

[listenuppnow]

[sleeplesslacker]

[chelliss-deactivated20130505]