wattpad (alex_ftw) *I HAVE LOST ACCESS TO MY WATTPAD*
note: all are gender neutral unless stated!Â
updated: 3 january 2023
[ a to z x reader smut and fluff ]Â
muteÂ
montagne Â
banditÂ
kapkanÂ
smokeÂ
sledgeÂ
rookÂ
doc
[ x reader smuts ]Â Â
lion x female reader ; dominanceÂ
bandit + glaz x female reader ;Â happy anniversaryÂ
smoke x female reader ; anniversary giftsÂ
spetsnaz x female reader orgy ; sharing is caringÂ
lesion x female reader ; loveÂ
ela x male reader ; kinks
jackal x female reader ; whoâs the hunter now? part one  part two
blitz x male reader ; phone callÂ
kapkan + tachanka x female reader ; just watch
sledge x female reader ; christmas part II
smoke x male reader ; untitled
buck x reader ; untitled (unfinished)
maverick + buck + sam x reader ; untitled (unfinished)
mute x reader ; untitled
fenrir x reader ; nsfw headcannons
[ x reader fluff ]Â Â
montagne + lion ; attention
lion x male reader ; yes i do
vigil ; rise up
echo ; home
twitch ; shower issues
jager ; teamwork makes the dream work
rook ; height
bandit;Â jealousy at itâs finest
bandit; daydream
buck x male reader ; mornings (smutty towards the end)
glaz; comfort
buck ; untitled part 1 part 2
jackal ; time
buck ; nothing really matters
doc ; to my youth
buck ; thatâs us
x reader ; love poem
[ progression ; smoke x reader series ]
smoke elite inspired me to write this, a friends to lover series
meeting
[ all i want; jager x reader series ]
will you find someone like him?
part 1
[ limit ; montagne x reader series ]
theyâll be with him, till the limit, over and over again
prologue - part 1
recognition - part 2
despondency - part 3
photosynthesis - part 4
[ here for you ; various x reader series ]
a series for those who are undergoing stress of any kind, the hurt will pass and the sun will shine, meanwhile, take your time to recover, you are loved
mira x male reader
mute x male reader
mute x female reader
[ various x reader angst ]Â Â
montagne ; sunshine
valkyire ;Â through these tears
vigil ; empty space
[ various x reader everything else ] Â
miraÂ
vigil
echo
caveira
lesion
jackal
dokkaebi
glaz
glaz ; painting with him
fuze
mute
[ blitz x female reader smut prompts ] Â
jealous blitzÂ
teasing blitz
love bites
snuggling time turn steamy
[ CTU headcannons ]Â Â
GSG9
[ CTU scenarios ]
âprivate but never a secretâ ; SAS - angstÂ
[ operator x operator ]Â
bandit x blitz ; dynamite part one (angst)
jager x bandit ; needy (smut)
bandit x doc ; all i got (angst + comfort )
bandit x jager ; mini skirt (smut)
[ kinktober 2018 ]Â Â
sledge x reader (slight mute/reader)
tachanka x reader
jager x reader
montagne x reader
glaz x reader
sas x reader
jackal x reader
bandit x blitz
[ mini a to z ]
blitz x reader
[k, w, x]
glaz x reader
[ c, o, p ]
dokkaebi x reader
[ a, d, k ]
jager x reader
[ a, f, z ]
lion x reader
[ a, i, m ]
[ b, i, k ]
[ d, r, u ]
[ p, u, v ]
[d, w, f]
jackal x reader
[ d, k, s ]
kaid x reader
[ d, k, o ]Â ( lower half of the post )
fuze x reader
[ f, i, x ]
[b, j, k]
jackal x reader
[a, f, u]
doc x reader
[ d, k, u ]
[k, w, x]
[j, k, x]
twitch x reader
[ a, d, k ]
maverick x reader
[ i, d, k ]Â [Â d, i, k ]Â Â (same writing except in a different order)
in which Ghost can't get over his past lover, part 2
i'll make a part 3 to this, i can't and won't let this series end like this, thank you for reading <3
as Ghost wandered around the hall, with a black trash bag with the things heâs destroyed, all he could think of was,
âpromise me youâll move on, Simon.â
he promised her but now he stands defeated to his own terms. the weight of the trash bag wasnât even that heavy, but to Simon, it was enough to make his heart hurt.
he did everything in his power to replicate the warmth and comfort that she brought, but he never realized that he was chasing a ghost of a feeling. what you gave him had always been enough, more than enough to make his heart swell with affection.
throwing the trash, he stood as the same scenes replayed in his mind, the same way that the both of you stayed motionless in front of him then leaving him an empty shell was enough to trigger his fight or flight reaction.
perhaps his own heart wasn't ready to let her go, still insisting that he couldn't have another in his heart, that he couldn't replace her at all costs. but he couldn't lose you too.
he had to fix this, one way or another.
in his own twisted way.
-
with your gaze stuck on the cup of coffee in front of you, it was anyone's guess as to what you were thinking about, it could be the fight, who ditto was and perhaps even how to approach Ghost from now on, but luck was on your side, he was gonna come to you instead.
the coffee in your hands had gone cold by the time you heard the soft thud of his boots on the floor behind you. You didnât turn around. You didnât have to. You could feel his presenceâheavy, magnetic, inescapable.
âgot a minute?â Simon's voice was low, rougher than usual.
you nodded, expecting him to sit in front of you rather than beside you, perhaps he felt that he could connect to you better this way.
finally turning to face him, you saw through him even with his mask hiding whatever expression he mightâve been wearing. His eyes, thoughâthey gave him away. they always did. the sharp, guarded gaze youâd come to know so well was softened now, dulled by something unspoken.
"i came to say," he huffed out with a pause, his own ego and emotional baggage was still holding him back, "i want you around."
your eyes started to well up with tears,
"i would be damned to let you go," fuck why was this so hard for him, he couldn't seem to push down the feeling of betraying her while he said all this words to you, someone who his head deemed a potential partner. his vision began to darken, his heart rate going up, this isn't good.
âI want you to stay,â he said, his tone as sharp as a blade. âeven if it hurts. even if itâs ugly. I need you here. with me.â
the only way he could cut through his own guilt and feeling of betrayal was with the sharpest knife, his own honesty.
âSimon-â you started, but he cut you off.
his strong arms reaching out to grab your shoulder, making the both of you face each other even more.
"you're not going to reject me."
your puzzled gaze evident on your face, did he think that you were going to turn him down and push him away?
"Si, i'm not gonna-"
and suddenly, his own demons came out to play, to join the mix and cause a hurricane of disaster.
âI donât care if itâs wrong. Iâve lost too much alreadyâtoo many people I couldnât save, too many things ripped out of my hands. but you? youâre mine. And Iâm not letting you go. not ever.â he snarled and pulled you into his chest.
"Si- let me go-" you managed to cough out as you struggle against his chest, this wasn't the Simon you knew.
"ditto, i'm getting you out of here with me, we'll make it home together."
with the mention of her name, you knew what was going on, the grasp that his heart still has on her was one that you couldn't pry open, the weight of his guilt was too heavy for you to carry,
perhaps he was really broken beyond repair.
you felt the walls closing in, his presence overwhelming and suffocating. âSimon, this isnât healthy. let me go, you canât justââ
âwatch me,â he interrupted, his voice dangerously quiet.
his words sent a shiver down your spine, a mixture of fear and something you didnât want to name. youâd always known Simon carried darkness within him, but this? this was something else entirely.
âyou canât replace her,â he continued, his tone softening but losing none of its intensity. âbut i'm keeping you with me, and if thatâs selfish of me, then so be it.â
your own confusion and sadness growing and yet turning into fear,
"Simon, i just want you to apologize!" you struggled out as you kept pushing against him, desperately trying to get out of his grasp.
as you kept struggling, one thing was clear,
Simon Riley wasnât just haunted by ghosts. he was one.
Pichon isn't one for aftercare, she's more of a done and done person. Often choosing to stretch then head back to her desk to continue tinkering with her toys. You can choose to either take a nap or sit beside her and watch her.
But if you ask her to stay with you after, she's comply, just not one to initiate aftercare.
b : body part ;
She loves your hands, both with how they look and what they do to her. Pichon enjoyed both licking and sucking on your fingertips, guiding your hands to where she wants it. She isn't shy to take what she wants from you, often taking more than she gives.
Like when she pulled your hands to cup her clothed pussy while the both of you were out for dinner, as she whispers into your ears,
"I need you to do your magic with your hands, love. You knew what you were doing when you chose to wear this outfit, making me so damn hot and bothered."
Despite being outside, her love for your hands does not stop.
c : cum ;
if you're a female:
Pichon loves when you cum as she rubs against you. Your hands interlocked as she continues to slide against you. Occasionally leaning down to spit on the both of you.
Sometimes sharing a dildo with a vibrator pressed against the both of you, her hands controlling the intensity of the vibrator, and as you verbalize to her that you're going to cum, she'll pull you in for a kiss and start moving faster against you,
"That's it baby, cum against my pussy. You know i love it when you cover me in your squirt." then purposely turning up the vibrator to make sure you make a mess on the both of you.
if you're a male:
Pichon would love when you cum in her mouth, straight to the point. She loved to feel the texture and even the taste of your cum, since she's the one to suggest food for you to eat that would change the taste of your cum.
With her hands around your shaft and the cutthroat pace that she is is using, her lips wrapped around your tip as her tongue move in circles around your slit, eyes locked with you.
Removing her lips just to demand that you cum down her throat, "Come on mon amour, give it to me.". As she placed her lips back onto your cock, her hands move to your thighs as she swallows your length whole till her nose touched your lower belly.
For sure loves it when you cum down her throat, even better for her if you hold her head down flush against your pubic bone, making sure everything stays down into her.
As for her cumming, she would without a doubt be sitting on your face, grinding down into your face relentlessly till she cums. And on the rare occasions that she does squirt as you play with her clit, she'll be blabbering stuff like, "Oh my god, feels so good!", "More, give me mon amour."
d : dirty talk ;
Only when either of you are going to cum, then will her dirty mouth make an appearance. She'll say things like, "Come on, give it to you me." or "Yes, yes, yes I'm gonna make a mess on your baby.", that's the most she'll say.
Definitely not one who's very verbally nasty, more of a deep breaths and moans. Same for her expectations, you can be verbal if you're that by nature and even if you're more of a quiet lover, she's okay with both.
e : experience ;
I would say not much, due to her busy nature and preference to stick to machines. But she for sure has a large collection of toys, that she likes to use on the both of you.
Always down to learn from you and what your kinks are, despite her selfish nature, she's always willing to please you just like how you please her.
f : favorite position ;
Face sitting. With her on top of you, it gives her enough control to reach out to touch you as she grinds into your face, your nose occasionally catching onto the tight rings of your pussy, making her let out a quick moan of your name. That's her favorite thing that could happen.
With one of her hands splayed out on your chest and the other holding your hands against her breast, toying and pinching at her nipple. She kept the pace as your tongue struggled to keep up, licking and prodding her her tight hole, eager to finally penetrate her in any way.
Your other hand holding and guiding her hips to keep the same brutal pace on your face, there was no other position that the both of you would rather be in.
g : goofy ;
Not goofy at all in bed :(
h : hair ;
Well trimmed, with a strip of Brazilian wax. Pichon prefers to keep workspace neat and tidy, same goes for her personal health. And with how often that she rides your face, having too much hair isn't ideal, so she keeps it tidy with a strip of Brazilian wax, also gives her pussy as much contact to your face as possible.
i : intimacy ;
Even though Pichon doesn't initiate after care, doesn't mean she doesn't love you deeply. There are so many nights where the two of you just go slow, often declaring your feelings for each other.
Her hands on your face as he rubs against you as she stays on top. "I love you so much." Your bodies flush against each other. This is probably love in it's truest form.
stay in the middle
like you a little, don't want no riddle
your attraction to Ghost himself started the moment he carried you out of the room during your training session, the way his arms were tight around your shoulder and underside of your knee, his eyes locked in front of him and his own mission was to get you out.
not to say that you only fell for him because of his physique, his hard heart was constantly calling out for you to undo the walls he build up. whether or not it was his doing, you couldn't look away from him.
so it started out with small gestures, buying his coffee, small talks with him, hanging out with him after mission, fixing his gear for him. eventually it moved on to fixing his mask, to your own disbelief.
"i told you your mask is crooked, looks like your teeth are all slanted." you muttered to Simon, fingers hesitating whether or not to fix it for him.
he signed and turned to you and bend down to your height, "if it bothers you so much, fix it then."
you felt your face heat up from the close proximity of the two of you, his eye bored into yours as he silently waited for your next move.
you remind him so much of her.
with shaky hands, you reached out to fix his hands, your fingers gently pulling down the fabric, then fixing the shell which never seems to face you right. as you stayed close to him, you noticed the dog tag which says.
"ditto"
you've seen him wear this dog tag before, you just never knew what it said.
"there, fixed it." you pulled back and managed to breath out before turning away.
his callused hands ruffled your hair as he let out a gruff, ''thanks, kid." and he was off to his mission, wherever he needed to be, without ever waiting for your response.
you huffed out air and went back to your task of tinkering with your electronics,
'who's "ditto" anyway?'
.
do you want somebody?
like I want somebody?
so it goes, the both of your did get closer, he even let you lean on his shoulder after mission, something that event the 141 was shocked about, everyone's face was literal gold when it happened.
"i'm so tired! i didn't expect them to be that good!" you whined as you slumped back onto the car seat, "i could really use a good nap."
"then nap if you feel so inclined to do so."
"this cars too bumpy!"
without a second delay, a rough hand guided your head onto a shoulder, of none other than Simon, "quiet, you're making too much noise.".
the whole of the 141 stayed as silent as you, till soap spoke up,
"damn LT, the only person you let do this was -"
"enough, she needs to rest." Ghost cut him off, "get comfy little parrot, it's a long ride.".
you kept your eyes shut the whole ride, his shoulder was surprisingly comfy, you even mustered the courage to wrap your hands around his biceps half way though the ride. he didn't flinch or move your hands away, instead opted to lean his head on yours, closing his eyes.
you felt just like her.
.
oh, say it ditto
I want you so, want you, so say it ditto
so when you found out his birthday, you decided to get a cake and celebrate it with him.
as you walked towards his room, hiding the cake behind your back, then finally knocking on his room door,
"Simon! open up!" you yelled, not caring if you woke everyone up, today was Simon's special day.
the lock undid and there he was, in his tank top and shorts, and by the way mask pulled over his face, it seems like he just woke up.
inviting yourself in, because the two of you close like that right? making sure to keep the cake hidden behind you.
"what are you up to this time?" he questioned, hands fumbling with the dog tag around his neck, he has a feeling that he knows what's going to happen.
"well," you started to pull the cake out of he box,
"today is your special day..." placing the candles onto the cake
"i wanted to let you know that you are loved..." lighting the candles up
spinning around with the cake in front of you, "happy birthday Simon Riley!"
he stood there, speechless.
and for a moment he is brought back in time where she celebrated his birthday with him, just the two of them. the same setting and positions, you really look like her.
all the times you bought coffee for him didn't go unnoticed and unappreciated. all the times you kept him company after missions, fixing his gear, all the times your reminded him of her.
he'd be lying if he said you didn't make him as happy as she did.
his bliss was short lived as suddenly, he felt like he betrayed her, all the promises of loving only each other, staying by one's side, being each other's one and only.
"get out."
"huh?" you slowly drew back the cake from him. "what -"
"i said get out, get out of my room." his eyes opened once again and all he could see was her funeral, her dead body laying there along with all their broken promises.
he could hear what you were saying as he slapped the cake out from your hands,
"you'll never be her, you'll never replace her no matter how much you try!"
as he trashed his room, you stood there like the eye of the storm. tears streaming down your face, is that who 'ditto' was?
"you try so hard but you'll never replace her! get the fuck out!" Ghost bellowed, as he destroyed the cake even more by trampling on it, his hands tightly clutching the single dog tag around his neck,
"i'll never betray you!" there he was, screaming at a ghost.
only that the ghost of his past lover was the living being that is you.
soon the yelling calmed down and the dust began to settle, he realized what he'd done, seeing her cry and let out a soft,
"ditto, LT, ditto."
before she ran out of his room, leaving behind yet another mess for Simon to clean and carry.
aaron keener who has you wrapped around his fingers, like a loyal puppy who comes whenever he calls. it wonât be an overstatement if you said youâre willing to die for him.
aaron keener who holds you close on cold nights, gives you his jacket to wear when heâs out for missions. his rough hands running through your hair as he hums softly with occasional promises of a perfect wedding one day, he even gave you a ring he found. calls you his âpartner in crimeâ.
aaron keener who kisses you on your forehead before you went out for a mission or even just to roam around for fresh air. tells you to âstay safe and please, come back to me.â holding you against his chest for awhile before letting you go.
aaron keener who sacrifices you just for his own safety, a decoy if you prefer being called that.
âkeener? theyâre coming now, i canât hold them back anymore!â you yelled into the comms radio that sat on your shoulder, only to be met with silence.
reloading as fast as you can as the Divison agents start to draw closer to your location, their drones buzzing closer and closer to you.
âsorry love.â aaronâs voice radioed through as you could hear the background sound of the hunters and what seems to be a helicopter taking off, âdonât blame me, know that i love you.â
"keener? love? are you leaving me behind?" you were baffled, and somehow you knew deep down that this would happen as you watch him betray those around him, now it was your turn.
and as the Black Tusk drew closer to you, all you could feel was your own stupidity for trusting a man who has proven time and time again that he isn't one to be trusted. perhaps the feeling cracking and then shattering of your own heart, by the man you loved the most.
aaron keener who finds and trades a high value target in exchange for you. and fights through hell, the Black Tusk, on his own just to get you back. despite how many times he reasoned with himself that he didn't need you, the heart wants what it wants in the end.
aaron keener who is a master manipulator and a love bomber. he knows just the right mix to keep you coming back home to him.
âyou left me there to die!â with how loud you were, everyone in the base could hear the two of you bickering with each other.
âbut i came back for you still.â aaron sighs as he lit up another cigarette, âyouâre taking my ear out, sweetie.â
rubbing away the tears in your eyes, you lifted a finger and jabbed at his chest, âyou wouldnât have to come back for me, i was going to join them just to get back at your stupid ass!â
that was enough to make him pause all his movements, lift his head to look at you and kill his cigarette against the ashtray. then took big steps towards you, ending by holding your against his chest, his hands at the back of your neck as he slowly pull your face closer towards his, enveloping your lips with his.
after a good few minutes of gently making out, aaron pulled away and placed his forehead onto yours, âiâm sorry, my love.â.
your sobbing continued, and so did his sweet words,
âit was horrible without you, waking up without you by my side was a living hell.â
âall i could think about was you.â
âi know youâre mad at me but please stay, i canât do anything without you by my side.â
âi love you, so so much my love.â.
and just like that, you were wrapped around his fingers once again, back into his arms. as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his chest.
and you knew youâd never escape from his hands, along with his twisted heart. perhaps thatâs how you like it
Ahhhh youâre back!!! Iâm so happy to see you again! đ€đ€ not sure if you will write for Fenrir from r6s? Some people are ok with him and others not so much. But if so could I please request either some nsfw headcanons or just a nsfw one shot of him and either a gender neutral or afab reader? Thank you so so much!
fenrir x reader (rainbow six siege)
synopsis; nsfw headcannons
genre; nsfw / 18+
words: 419
Ă on contrary to popular belief, fenrir leans more towards vanilla/loving sexual preference ; and he does not have much, if any, experiences with anyone else
Ă always eager to please his partner
Ă but that doesn't mean he won't use punishment as a teacher, if he deems fit, be prepared for a long night ;
sometimes he'll throw in some chemicals that act as a sex pollen, to either heighten your senses or/and increase your sexual desires, with consent of course
sensory deprivation for sure, blindfolded being his favorite among all for sure
Ă not an exhibitionist, he rather keep your body for his own private viewing and enjoyment
Ă a very verbal man during sex, either praises or degrading, sometimes he's feral side comes through and mixes both together, but it's always a good mix ;
"you're taking me so well, my darling. keep squeezing around me and i'll make sure to reward you well." Fenrir growls, his thrusts and pace unrelenting.
with your hands tied behind your back, cheeks pressed into the bed, there really wasn't much that you could say in response. all you could focus on was the feeling of Emil filling you up over and over again, his heat piercing you over and over again, pressing against all of your sweet spots.
"am i pleasuring you so well you can't even speak out a simple sentence? such a well behaved darling, letting me use your body like this." he chuckles and landed a slap on your ass cheeks, "keep still my darling, we still got a long night ahead.".
-
"you taste so sweet, give me more, use me to feel good." Emil breathed out, then pulling you down into his face by holding your thighs down. having you sit on his face has always been his favorite position. your hot flesh pressed against him while his tongue works in wonders on your heat, with his fingers digging into your skin, sure to leave marks but he'll kiss it later anyway. as moans of his name leaves your mouth, you can't help but to notice his very erect cock, it's head covered in pre-cum. with your blurry vision, you leaned down to reach your mouth onto his dick, taking him into your mouth.
feeling the heat of your mouth warped around him, Fenrir lets out a deep growl, then letting go of your heat, moving his fingers takes his tongue's place, thrusting inside and out slowly while stretching you out, "such a good darling, pleasing me so good.".
-
Ă will be romantic during special occasions, and he'll pull up all the stops, all the way from rose petals to candles and anything he feels will help set the mood
Ă plenty of aftercare, during both romantic and punishment sessions, he may bully you once in a while but he still loves and cherishes you very much
synopsis; in which gekko panics and says the opposite of how he really feels
genre; angst with happy ending
words: 2162
after the successful mission, you headed back to the headquarters along with the other agents. everyone was in high spirits, chatting with each other on the chopper back, and you were no exception.
"totally dude! i never know wings could have jumped that high!" Gekko joked with Brim as you watched from your seat beside him. this is what you admired about Mateo, his energy along with his cheerful nature was such a huge contrast to every other agent, making him stand out in your eyes.
as you felt the exhaustion catch up to you, you did the only thing that you could think of,
"Mateooo," you dragged his name out, making him turn his attention to you.
"what's up, cariño? are you feeling tired?" Mateo asked as he gently pushed your head onto his shoulder.
"mhm, i'm gonna get some shut eye." you muttered, then gathering up all your remaining energy, you wrapped your arms around Mateo's arm, holding it close to your chest.
Gekko let out a silent chuckle, leaning his head onto yours, "rest well, cariño. i'll be here." then returning to his conversation with Brim.
as you drifted off to sleep, you felt Mateo's hand slowly interlace with yours, but maybe it was just the sleep haziness or part of your wishful thinking.
-
"... cariño, wake up we're home." Mateo's voice faded in as your heavy eyelids started to open, seeing Mateo's face barely inches away from yours.
as you felt your cheeks start to heat up, you jolted awake and created some distance between the two of you,
"thanks Mateo." you muttered as you started stretching as an excuse to look away from him, "let's go."
rising from your seat, you slowly made your way out of the chopper, with Gekko close behind you.
slowly catching up to the other agents, you felt recharged and perhaps, ready to join the conversation once again with Mateo by your side of course.
"the lovebirds are finally here." Phoenix joked as you and Gekko walked into his view, "where have you two been?"
Gekko rubbed his hands to the back of the neck, "well someone was deep asleep, i had to wake them up." then eyeing you.
raising both your hands up in the air, you playfully rolled your eyes at Mateo, "it's not my fault that i did most of the heavy work, of course i would be tired."
he only laughed as he placed his hands on your lower back, pushing you to join the rest, "whatever you say, your highness."
as everyone settled down onto the seats in the cookhouse, conversation flowed among everyone and soon it landed on the theme of the upcoming valentines day.
"oh come on! we all know that you like (y/n)! the two of you are always so sticky with each other, you even call her 'darling'!" Phoenix countered back to Gekko.
both yours and Mateo's cheeks were bright red at this point, the both of you were indeed close, very close. practically spending all your free time with each other, going to the same site together and having each other's backs. Gekko's endearing nicknames for you, ranging from 'dear' to even 'love' on times where he slipped up. if other didn't know any better, they would have thought the two of you were a couple, a very sweet one too.
maybe this was the time that Mateo confessed, your hopes were high, a smile started to form on your face as your hands unconsciously reached out for Mateo's.
as the pressure from the rest started to pile up, Gekko was starting to feel the weight of it all, and in a split second, a totally unthought through decision, he sputtered out,
"no! i don't like them like that! we're just... very uhh, good friends! that's all!" Mateo said all this while waving his hands around in the air, face still beet red, "there's nothing more than that between us!"
and just like that, the room fell silent. your face even redder, your hands stopping it their tracks. did you have the wrong impression this whole time? as all the endearing nicknames, physical contact, time spent together just... nothing?
"ah you should have said so bro! we would have quit it." Phoenix dismissed Gekko, and soon the conversation resume among all the agents, except you and Gekko.
with your gaze stuck on your lap, you couldn't find the right words to say. your vision started to blur as tears started welling up, you had it wrong the whole time.
"i-i." Gekko felt the regret instantly after the words left his mouth, he loved you but he just couldn't get it out correctly.
turning to face you and his hands desperately seeking you out, anything to undo the words he said, "cariño, listen please. i didn't mean-"
"it's okay, i had it wrong the whole time, it seems." you dryly chuckled to yourself, "we're just friends, that's all." your finger fiddling with the knot of the the matching bracelet he made for you on your birthday, undoing it then placing it on the table in front of him, "let's just take it as none of... whatever we had, never happened, Gekko."
your use of his code name freezed his once warm heart. standing up to leave the cookhouse, you left Gekko alone with the weight of his regret, stuck and unable to move as he watched you retreat away from him.
Gekko's buddies sensing his hurt, materialised and gather around him, in an effort to comfort him.
"what do I do now?" he held his head in his hands, "she mean the world to me, heck, I.. I love her. I don't know why i said that." he muttered, brain racing to find a solution to the mess he created.
his time was ticking, a countdown to the end and potential ruination of your relationship.
-
for the next few days, you kept your distance between Gekko and yourself. anything to reduce the number of times he took up in your brain, heart as well. out of sight, out of mind.
your room, now devoid from anything that he gave you. the picture of the two of you as missing from your desk, his jacket he gave you after you complained to him about how cold the admin office is, now missing from your closet but not throw away. you could never bring yourself to throw away anything he gave you. it's just that, it was still too much to even look at the things that reminded you for him.
while you were trying to keep him out of your mind, Gekko was busy trying to claw his away back into your life. at first he tried going to find you on his own, hoping that his sincerity would get to you.
-
humming to yourself, you stood and waited for your instant noodles to be fully cooked while browsing your feed.
"cariño. please hear me out." his voiced made you turn to attention to him. and indeed, there he stood, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a cup of bubble tea in his other hand.
just like that, your headache and heartache appeared. turning to make an escape, Gekko's body stood in the way.
"what do you want, Gekko?" you mumbled, still trying to dodge around him and head for the door.
"please just hear me out, it's not what it seems.".
"yeah yeah. you already said your peace, just leave me alone.". you placed your hands on his upper arm, "i have places to be."
just as quick as your noodles cooked, you were out of the break room. not very quick to be honest.
-
soon, more attempts to get through to you were made by Gekko, anything under the sun that he could think of has been attempted.
waiting for you to end your lecture? done.
ordering food to your room and bribing the chef to write out, 'please call me back' on the omelet? check.
pasting sticky notes on your room door? yeap.
since all that didn't work, Gekko had to use his triumph card, the forbidden cuteness of wingman. he knew you could never turn down wingman.
his plan? we'll see.
today, an innocent but heartbroken you laid in your bed, soaking in your thoughts, maybe it would be better to just-
a knock on your door stopped your train of thoughts, it's 8pm, what could be awaiting you at this time?
dragging yourself to the door, you wearily opened it, only to see no one at the door, until you felt a soft yet familiar touch on your shin. looking down, you saw the one and only wingman.
he stood at your feet, looking up at you with an piece of paper in his hands that reads,
'i lost gekko, please help me :_('
you couldn't help but let out a slight smile, you indeed could not turn down the cuteness of wingman. as you bent down to pick him up, Gekko slowly made his way from around the corner, with yet another bouquet of flowers in his hand.
rolling your eyes, you swiftly swooped wingman up in your arms and shut your door before he could get to you.
leaning against the door, you held wingman tight against you. Gekko on the other side of the door softly knocking and pleading for you to open the door to him.
"please cariño. just 1 minute, then i'll l-leave you alone if you want me to. i'll never speak to you again if that's what you wish but please give me 1 mintues.".
wingman snuggled close to you, he missed you just as much as Gekko does. his soft purrs were like slowly coaxing your tears out again. you missed Mateo even more than you could ever admit.
"i don't know why i said those words, i should have thought it through first. now i messed up our relationship." Mateo slumped against the door and slid down onto the floor, leaning his head against the door, "truth is, i- i don't know if it's too sudden to say this but, i love you. so fucking much."
your heart skipped a beat, the three words you were waiting to hear him Mateo had finally reached your ears. now your heart just need to hear a reason to remove the barrier between the both of you.
"if i could do it all over again i would, i would tell you that i love you in front of everyone. i missed you so very much these few days, it really feels like it's been a thousand years. shit, i miss you so much my love."
your tear were already full streaming down your face, your initial fear of yet another heartbreak has dissipated fully, and now, all that you wanted is to do is be wrapped in Mateo's arms. spill your heart out along with your undying love for him. this was more than enough reason for your heart to remove the barrier between the both of you.
"it's been a minute, i understand. i'm sorry for hurting you my love- cariño. i won't bother you anymore."
Mateo's dejected tone was enough to make you shoot up from the floor and press the handle of the door down before you could even fully gain your balance.
and there he was, stumbling backwards from the sudden loss of support, landing at your feet.
immediately, he grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you into his warm and strong arms, the same ones that will always have your back in any situation.
nuzzling his face into your hair, he mumbled a mix of apologies and appreciation, all while wingman hugs your leg.
"Mateo." you sighed into his chest, tightening your grip around his waist.
"yes, mi amor?" Mateo answered, pulling back to rest his forehead against yours.
smiling, you placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him closer. with a gentle whisper, "i love you, Mateo.".
his cheeks burned up and in yet another rash move, Mateo placed his lips onto yours, his hands sliding up to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss.
the both of you only pulled away when wingman started to whine about this sudden public display of affection. laughing, you picked wingman up and guided him into your room, landing on your bed where Mateo took you back into his embrace.
"i missed you." he sighed into your hair once again.
"i know, my dear." chuckling, you gestured towards wingman, "so much that i couldn't resist wings.".
laughing, Gekko nodded and gave wingman a fist bump to his buddy, "thanks wings." chirping in response, wingman snuggled up the the both of you.
somethings can never be undone, but with sincerity and a pure heart, nothing is really impossible. this is love in the purest form, in all it's patience and forgiveness.
hello, i am once again opening requests, here are the fandoms that i'm writing for
rainbow six siege
valorant
please include your requests in the following format:
fandom
character
reader's gender
brief summary of your request
please send them to my inbox/asks, thank you for your requests. do allow me some time to get to your requests. i look forward to your stories and prompts, see you in my inbox.
alex , 24 december 2023
"trust the process, the result and the reason why"
hello my precious, i hope this update finds you well.
this is a new beginning, for both me and this blog, i will be once again opening requests, there will be more information in the next post.
thank you for still being here, even if things are not going well, i am with you. we'll brave the storm together.
during the time that i have been missing, i've got a full time job and am now working on my career, as well as obtained my second diploma, i missed this blog and i've been itching to start writing again, so here i am.
i hope to see your stories, updates, requests and anything you would like to share in my inbox soon. from now on, we will move ahead together!
Hi! Iâve been reading your writings since you started and you motivated me to write fanfics of my own. Iâm so glad to see this might be a (possible) return! Hope everything is fine <33
hi! your writings are good, keep up the good work! â€ïž
- in which they make your private relationship feel like a secret -
genre: angst
bad liar - imagine dragons
âââââ â Â â âââââ
Mute /Â Mark R. Chandar
mark oh, mark. why must you hold your tongue so much? when will you see that itâs not your personality that makes others avoid you, but rather, itâs your unwillingness to open up.
everyone knew that Mark was a man of few words, that is on the rare occasions that he chooses to speak, short and concise replies. and thatâs one of the qualities that you loved him for, even without words, Mark never fails to show you the untouchable spot that you hold in his heart and his loyalty to you was never questioned.
but some days, you wished that he uses his words instead. some days where everything is a blur, where everyoneâs action doesnât seem to reach your hazy mind, some days where the world seems to be against you and only you.
on the days where you reached for his hands or even his pinky in silence, only for him to push it away as everyone continued chatting in the canteen and gave you a side eye of disapproval. when you leaned on his shoulder after a particularly tiring mission, only for him to jerk his shoulders up and lightly shook his head as he kept his gaze forward.
you understood, you really did. being in the military, love wasnât frowned upon but everyone knew the baggage that love would bring, you knew that love would only complicate things on the battlefield and get in the way of operations. but was it so hard for Mark to give you even a little reassurance, if everyone was okay with it, why wasnât he?Â
so as you watched everyone pick names from the cup for this â7 minutes in heavenâ challenge, fear started to fester in your heart, what if Mark picked another name that isnât yours? would he reject and let everyone know about the two of you, or go with it.Â
everyone knew what this challenge was, pick a random piece of paper, read the name on it, get into the room for 7 minutes and whatever happens in there, stays in that room and between the two.
âoi mate, who did chaâ get?â Porter asked as he nudged Markâs shoulder, peering over to see the name written on the tiny piece of paper, âiâm hoping taâ get **, iâve been wanting taâ ask them out for so darn long.â
you watched as Mark slowly opened the paper and Porterâs reaction anything but reassuring, and as the chemical engineer started to nudge Mark and started to bounce in his spot and chanting, âno way, no fuckin way mate!â .
Mark shook his head and folded the paper, then looking down at his phone.
âalright guys! letâs start with ** , who you got?â Grace beamed as she turned to the person on her right as they looked up slowly then your partnerâs name left their mouth.
everyone hoots and yells filled the room, as you watched your partner stood up. maybe it was wishful thinking on your end to think that Mark would announce to everyone that the both of you were dating. but your heart dropped as he looked towards them and nodded silently. there was no way you could stay quiet this time and let this slide.
âMark.âÂ
your voice made everyone quiet down, their curiosity peaked.
âyouâre going through with this, this game?â you asked, hands slightly balled up.
he stood and looked at you, quietly as usual.
âi wasn't planning on doing anything.â as usual, short replies and straight to the point, only this time you couldnât tell if he was being honest.
you could only stare at him, speechless. did he really think that going though with it and no doing anything was a better option that just letting everyone know?
Porter watched as the pieces began to click in his head, âthe both of you together or somethin' ?â
now, more than ever, you wished Mark used his words instead. but he stood quiet, just standing there as he always does.
** spoke up as they felt the tension between the two of you, âhey... letâs move on to the next person alright?â as they slowly made their way back to their seat.
âno.â you whispered, âno, its fine,â louder this time, âif this is how Mark wants to be, then so be it.â you aired as you turn your gaze to Mark who was still rooted in the same spot,Â
âhave fun doing nothing in that room.â
as you made your way out of the room, Mark never head footstep so loud and for the first time in his life,
he wished he said something.Â
this is the sound of walking away.
âââââ â Â â âââââ
Sledge /Â Seamus Cowden
seamus oh, seamus. why must you always be the life of the party? thereâs nothing wrong with being a wallflower. when will you see that itâs okay to lay low and be the one laughing at jokes and not be the one telling it.
true to the opening that Elena wrote in his biography, âcoming through!â would be enough to describe Seamus. his kindness and loud personality is what makes Seamus uniquely him. there isnât a single person in the base that hasnât heard his voice, everyone knew who Seamus Cowden is, the life of the party, the hammer in Rainbow. always the one to break out, create a path for others to take, the one to lead the way.
and tonight, it was truly the time for his personality to shine. Harry held a celebration, a party if you would call it that, after the victory that Team Rainbow clutched, a warm get together is only right. not to mention the new blood and talent that Harry recruited, this was a good opportunity for them to integrate themselves and get to know their future teammates.
Seamus, being himself. was the life of the party, ushering in new operators and familiar faces. shaking hands and heartfelt hugs to everyone and you were no exclusion.Â
hugging you tightly against his chest, he gave you a soft kiss on the top of your head, âdarlin, iâll be right with you, tonight is going to be so fun! i would love to spend the night with you but there are VIPs and new faces that i have to bring in.â and just like that, you felt his warmth leave your body as he made his way though the crowd and soon your eyes lost track of him among the people.
the night went on even without Seamus by your side but the company that your fellow operators gave you was enough. but the longer you pushed into the night, the louder the crowd seemed to be and the more you longed for the safety of your partnerâs arms.
but whenever you managed to find him among the crowd, the same excuse would always leave his mouth.
âiâd love to keep your company but i have some things to settle, iâll be right with you okay?â
and just like that, youâre on your own.Â
hereâs the thing about Seamus, heâd rather have the spotlight alone than be around others in the audience. thereâs nothing wrong with that, but when you wanted his company, heâd rather run around and keep others warm and welcomed than you.
and right now, youâre trying your best to persuade him to not do this stand up set and come relax with you for the night.
âbabe, listen i promised Harry that i would, and plus i already have the materials ready!â he replied as he kept his eyes on the cars in his hands, âand no one knows about us, itâll be weird for me to be all up on you.â
and youâd be lying if you said that his statement didnât hurt you.
âthen letâs use this time to let everyone know, i donât like this hiding game weâre playing,â you pleaded with him, the tiredness of the night starting to settle in, âand wouldnât Porter and Craig also be having their own sets tonight? iâm sure Harry wouldnât mind if you sat this one out.â
â we talked about this before.â he gritted through his teeth, âiâll be with you when this night ends okay. i gotta make everyone feel at home.â he sighed.Â
and just on time, Harry called his name from the stage, âitâs my time to shine, see you later.âÂ
and without waiting for your response, he left and took his solo spotlight on the small stage.
retreating to your spot among the audience, you dropped down onto the seat in defeat, looking up at Seamus, it almost seemed like itâs a little too lonely on the stage.
his words and jokes were all a blur to you, all you knew is that if heâs going to choose everything over you, then so be it.Â
standing up to leave for the night, and uber already booked. you spared one last look at Seamus, who still was soaking in the glow of the spotlight before leaving the chalet. this is defeat for you, he can have the spotlight alone.
Seamus watched from his peripheral version, and he couldnât ignore the clenching of his heart. he knew what he said was wrong but in his mind, the show must go on.
and finally he knew the meaning of what you would always tell him,
the bottom is lonely, and so is the top.
âââââ â Â â âââââ
smoke /Â James Porter
james oh, james. why must you be so reckless? being cautious is never a bad thing, itâs okay to have a plan, life isnât always meant to be filled with surprises. when will you see that a little thought, planning, thinking before talking will lead you further than reckless adventures ever will.
keeping your relationship a thing between the both of is something that the both of you agreed on. you both agreed that it was going to be a private thing, but never a secret, if someone were to ask the both of you agreed to tell.
it wasnât a bad thing, but some days you wish that the two of you could just act like a normal and open couple and today was one such day.Â
turning your head from the sounds of the clinicâs door slam open only to watch James limp into room while keeping his arm around Mark for support made your heart ache, but made your body move even faster as you rushed to your partnerâs side.
âwhat happened?â you rushed, quickly holding Jamesâs hands in yours as you examined his face then body for wounds as Mark slowly sat James down, looking up at him for an answer.
âhe detonated a smoke canister, blocking his view from an oncoming R4C.â Mark explained, then looked at Santiago stood at the door who had his head down.
you nodded as you started to undress James to better access his wounds.
âyou need to take better care of yourself.â you said, eyes on the wounds and mentally counting them.
âless talkinâ, more fixing yeah?â James grunted, his arms going up to cover his eyes.
clicking your tongue, you began fixing your partner up, âi am your-â
ânurse, doctor. i get it.â James cut you off before you could finish your sentence as he looked around the room, hands waving you off and shutting his eyes once more, âwhateverâ. he knew that that wasnât what you originally was going to say.Â
âstill being stubborn even with a gash this big?â you bit back at your partner, typical James.
continuing to sterilize his wounds, you looked around the room to see if the other operators are still there. yeap, Mark was sitting in silence, watching from the corner of the room while Santiago stayed leaned against the door, still thinking of an apology.
âJames, please look after yourself more, i wonât always be around to patch you up.â
âthere are other doctors and nurses here, youâre not the only one.â James groaned as he felt the alcohol start to sting into his skin.
maybe it was the pain or the frustration making him behave like this but either ways, you weren't going to let him speak to you like that.
 âwell,â you grit as you applied more pressure to his wound, making him hiss in pain, âi wouldnât talk to the person whoâs treating you in that manner.â
hereâs the thing about James, his bark is worse than his bite. always talking to cause the most damage as possible without thinking of the repercussions, heâll deal with it when it comes.Â
âyouâre just a doctor to me, just do your job.â
the silence that followed brought tension along with it, your movement stopped as you turned to look at your partner who has a scowl on his face. you knew that he was just saying it in the moment and it was just his reckless behavior coming through, but it sure did hurt. plus, this wasnât the first time he had snapped at you.
the rest of the patching up was done in silence, all the fight you had in you had left, as youâre going to do exactly what he asked you to. just do your job, since youâre just his doctor to him and not a lover that would bend backwards for him, a lover that would do anything for him, a lover that was his lover.
placing down the bandage, you took off your gloves and turned away from James as you wrote his prescription form,
âbring this to the pharmacy, theyâll dispense the necessary medication to you. take care.â you stated as you passed the form to him.
and for once, James could feel the coldness coming from you. every time in the past where he snapped at you, you would just let it slide, using his personality as an excuse. letting him weasel his way back to you with sweet nothings and little punishment but this time was different.
âcome on James, letâs go. iâll let you use me as a crutch.â Santiago joked, trying to lighten the mood.
but James shook his head, âi think i got an std, iâm gonna use this opportunity to get it checked out.â as he turned to you, âprivacy please.â
Mark just nodded and stood up to leave while Santiago was trying his best to hold in his laughter, âppft ,sure thing man. could have told me this before i let you tap it last week.â and quickly making his way out before James could give him a good smack.
ignoring the banter, you continued your work at your station.
âlove, iâm in pain. could i get some extra tender loving care?â James whimpered as he limped to your side.
but the response he got anything but tender.
âdonât call me that and it would be out of the scope of my duty as a doctor to do that.â you stated, standing up to leave the room, âbut if you feel like the steel surgery bed gives you what you need, be my guest to sleep on it.â
before you left the room, leaving James on his own, you spoke once more with your back faced towards him,
âiâm just your doctor, iâm just here to do my job.âÂ
as James stood alone in the room, he started to remember the moment where the both of you would hang out here, eating together and chatting while the both of you were still lovers, the room was nothing but home to him.
and now this room was nothing but a room to him. he never knew that he could find home in someone, sadly he had to learn this way.
the same recklessness of his that brought him so far could only carry him for so long before it turned on him.
âââââ â Â â âââââ
thatcher /Â Mike Baker
mike oh mike. why do you always hold grudges? people do us wrong and sometimes, they never meant to do so, even if they did, it isnât always your job to even the playing field and get even with them. when will you see that the grudges that youâre holding onto is only hold you down.
one thing that was clear to everyone about Mike was that he held grudges. no matter how far away from the future it was or how small it was, Mike had to get even. being born from a place of expectations where his real dreams were stripped away from him at a young age, he knew nothing but grudges against those who made him where he is today.Â
however, the grudges he carry also played a part in landing him the position he is today, highly respected and even envied by many. Mike is able to channel his anger to make it work for him and to those who have wronged him or anyone he loves.
but it doesnât always work in his favor, this is where his grudge becomes a double edged sword, his habit does not discriminate. despite his love for you, youâre not spared against it.
âMike!â you yelled as you chased after your partner after the stunt he just pulled, and when you finally catch up to him, you yanked him by his sleeve to make him face you.
âhands off,â Mike ruffed as he shrugged your hold off of him, âwhat do you want from me?â
baffled by his response, you furrowed your brows, âwhat do i want from you? i want you to explain what the hell you just said just now!â
Mike just started to straightened his sleeve, âi meant it when i said that having you on my team is a terrible decision.â without looking back at you, he stretched his back and arms before continuing his sentence, âand iâm not apologizing for not telling anyone that weâre together.â
âwhatâs so wrong with letting others know about us?â you gasped, âwhy do i always have to be kept as a secret?â
keeping his silence, Mike just turned away and started to walk away from you, âand you started it first.â
now he's really pushing it too far, as you wreck your brain for a possible reason that 'you started it' , thinking back on the times where you perhaps had stepped on his tail, be it knowingly or unknowingly.
"Mike! is it the time where I called you old fashioned in front of your friends?"
when he kept his silence and gaze forwards but stopped in his tracks, you knew you had hit the nail square on the head.
"that was so long ago! and I have already apologised for it mulitple times!" you stated as you walked in front of him to face him, "but if you want me to apologise again, I will. I'm sorry Mike, it was really rude of me to say that and embarass you like that in front of your friends."
taking his hands in yours, you hoped that it was enough to get through to your partner and his nature.
"fine." he grumbled as he pushed your hands off his and continued to walk back to the canteen, "I'm tired, let me go and rest."
as he walked further and further, leaving you behind, still rooted into the ground,
"I said I'm sorry Mike!", hoping that he'll turn around and take you along with him.
he just nodded and waved you off.
even though he had got more apologies than needed from you and the score had already been more than settled, and he won.
yet the same weight still weighs his heart down. the weight of holding a grudge way past it's expiry date, this is the loneliness only he knows, the loneliness only he can get rid of.
he won the battle but lost the war, the battle being his pride and grudges, and the war?
as his heart and body changed, so did his feelings towards everyone and he soon grew a âhero complexâ , thinking he has to protect everyone in the face of danger, everyone except you. as he grew, you shrank. the more the shined the duller you become. and yet, the more he took from you, the deeper your love for him.
as the scythe he carried grew heavier and larger, the smaller your wings span shrunk, the more feathers you lose.
but you didnât mind, you were here to support him in the spotlight, not steal it from him. you didnât mind that the feathers on your wings has long fallen off from the arguments and from his growth. it was almost comical, the way you used your own shine to nurture him at the cost of yourself, theyâll grow back anyway. it was what you owed him after all.
but itâs worth it right?
it was worth it watching him fall in love with someone else, to watch him go crawling back to him every time, to watch him turn away whenever she kissed another guy, to watch him destroy himself while you, oh foolish you, kept giving all that you have left.Â
because heâll come to his senses one day, right?
âyou know what sheâs doing, stop turning away from it Giles.â you yelled as he continued to run with all his might, in hopes that heâll forget.
struggling to keep up with him, your hands always seem to be mere inches away from him. âGiles! please stop, you know that it isnât worth it, she isnât worth it!âÂ
halting in his steps, he turned around to face you with nothing but anger in his eyes, âshe isnât worth it? how dare you say that?â he thundered towards you, âyou know who isnât worth it? you!â
you stopped as your hands went up to clutch your chest in shock, tears already welling up in your eyes as your feathers started to sting again. but it didnât matter to Giles, he was taking his anger out on you, ruthlessly.
âyou did nothing for me my whole life!â
did he forget when you held him in your arms and wings as he cried for the whole night after finding out she slept with someone else for months behind his back?
itâs okay, heâs just stressed out
âyou were never there for me in any way!â
did he forget when you watched with pride as he collected his graduation certificate, or that time when you pushed him out of the way of an on coming car, or when you took notes for him while he slept during his classes?
itâs okay, a little more and itâll be over
âyou were nothing but a burden to me in my whole damn life!â
were you a burden when you lend him a shoulder to cry on, when you gave him advice, when you told him that it was all going to be okay?
itâs okay, this will help him feel better
and finally, silence.
Gilesâs chest heaved as he kept his brows knotted, fist clenched and teeth gritted and feet firmly planted into the ground.Â
it was such a contrast to you, you who were floating above the ground, hands clutching each other, eyes widened with tears. your wings are now nothing but ashes, blackened from the venom that Giles spat at you.
as the both of you continued this silent stand off, you decided to back down, like you always do. with his scythe as your neck, you bowed in defeat, âiâm sorry, my dear.â
still fuming from his rage, still too prideful to lower his scythe and apologize, he turned away from you and continued to run, knowing heâll have to make it up to you later with sweet lies, but for now, his own pride is still latching onto him. thereâs no way heâll bow to you now.
as you slowly recollected yourself, lifting your head to see him running further and further away from you, down a path of nothing but misery.
it was worth it watching him work himself half to death for a sliver of recognition, to patch him up whenever he came back bruised as the cuts dried on his skin, to watch as he hung more medals up on his walls. to watch him use himself as a human shield.
because thatâs what makes him happy right? Â
as you floated above his bed, you watched quietly as Giles opened up his acceptance letter to the **** , his smile couldnât be wider as he turned to you and brought the letter up to your face.
âI made it! theyâre accepting me!â he beamed at you and continued texting everyone he knows about the news.
âwhy must you chase this?â
âwhy shouldnât I? Iâve been dreaming of this for my whole life! since i was a kid and when i had my first toy tank, I knew that this is something Iâm willing to chase.â he quipped back to you, âcan you just support me for once? this is me doing what I love like youâve always told me to.â
as your brows furrowed, you floated down to keep your eyes level with his, âi only told you to love yourself, my dear Giles.â reaching out to hold his hands in yours, as another feather starts getting corrupted with ashes.Â
âisnât doing something I love a way of loving myself?â he shooed you away, like he always had, as his phone screen lit up with yet another person calling him to congratulate him.
âloving yourself? you call this loving yourself? you call sending yourself to war loving yourself? youâre not loving yourself, youâre loving the recognition, itâs not the same thing.â you muttered, hands softly touching the new scars on your wings, âi want to keep you safe, with me.â
just like a plant, he grew and just like a light source that couldnât be keep powered forever, you became dimmer and dimmer.
âi donât mind becoming dimmer, if it makes you shine brighter, my darling.â
