the face of a broken man
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@wasteofmind
the face of a broken man
When you meet that bitch from the net irl
Start pounding joker
It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before.Â
That changes today.Â
“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say.Â
Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.
“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“Â
Suddenly, silence.Â
1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression.Â
A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice.Â
He is moved.Â
“Aight”.
My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my lily-white friends down. Not again.
The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.
All I can hear is heavy breathing.
“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”
There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol.”
“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”
“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.
“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”
He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”
“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.
The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.
“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.
I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™, and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.
“Kk.”
Wtf? Anon is completely right, everything they’re saying is true. You CAN actually make a difference by speaking up about the bs in Islam because a whole lot of shit that ISIS does is islamic, but no, go ahead and belittle the deaths of innocent human beings just because they’re “mayonnaise” instead.
what’s your workout routine? did you stretch before that reach? maybe stop watching fox news and consider looking into how many muslim leaders have spoken out about terrorism, or how ISIS kills more muslims than anyone else, or literally anything since you don’t seem to be very educated on this topic but still think your 2 cents are needed for some reason :////Â
“gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage”
WHY DOES IT HAVE HANDS
murderer: (via text) im going to kill you
me: (a week later) omg im so sorry... i saw this when i was in the middle of doing something else and then just completely forgot about it
my party trick is wearing cool socks so people come up to me and say “hey man cool socks”
me: this bitch is ruining my life
friend: omg who??
me: it’s.. . me
someone: math isnt that hard
me, in a varsity jacket and cracking my knuckles: looks like we got a stupid nerd ass bitch here
Am I both?
So sweet
I don’t know if you’ve actually seen this episode, but Pam invites the entire office to her art show that she’s been gearing up for for a really long time. Nobody shows up except for Oscar and his partner (and they critique her work, calling her “lacking in courage” among other things, not realizing she is standing right behind them) and then Michael. And Michael is the only one who tells her she is great just for putting herself out there, and the only one who places value on what she’s done, and he points out all the little details she got right and notices absolutely every bit of hard work she put into it. And then treats Pam like the artist she is by not just paying her for her art, but displaying it where literally everyone can see it.
It’s one of my favorite episodes.
Behold the most disgustingly aggressive display of Americanness
I’m just picturing some dude sitting at the dinner table, his assault rifles propped up in the other chairs
“Can you pass the salad, Mom?” he asks the AK-47, but she doesn’t pass the salad
She never passes the salad
“Hey Mom, can you pass the salad?”
“You always do this to me, Mom.”
the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap
mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil
what does Quil do
All the time all the time