|| Second Chances

"The great ones dare to believe in the unbelievable. " ||Live Peace, Speak Kindness, Dwell in Possibilities|| "Let's show them our hearts, and then show them theirs. " Magnus, Amanda "S". C. Colorado Air Force Major Division Handler Room #: 51

[watching-your-six]

valentinaabernathy replied to your post:Systematic Killings timeline (OOC)

YOU FORGOT VAL I AM CRYYYY

OY! I DID NOT FORGET VAL. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NEXT AFTER EMMA.

BUT MAKING A BAD AMANDA IS VERY VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING and I literally had to stop replying for a few days just to get Amanda back up again 

I'll finish it sometime - hopefully haha. :D promise!

[watching-your-six]

Systematic Killings timeline (OOC)

Due to the fact I suck I wasn't able to properly make them correct so this is how it's supposed to go.

- Isaac Moore

- Jennifer Patterson

- Intermission 1

- Rachel Berkley

- Darcy Dancelli

- Intermission + Emma Leigh Carick

- Intermission (From Emma's last part) 

-

[watching-your-six]

Systematic Killings (AU) - Darcy Dancelli

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Recruit Name: Darcy Dancelli

Death: Suicide

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Whatever was injected in her was a sort of serum that even her body was too tired to resist. It was too much of nothing and everything. In the midst of being transported, by once again the psychiatric duo, Amanda could only hear the words, lack of feelings, make it more painful, use the emotion, and so on and so forth. Words that did not mean anything to her at the moment, and yet, right now her subconscious now knew what it meant.

It was in Interrogation Block 12 where she woke up. On the other side of the one way mirror, she could see the faint silhouette of Glass and Wilkes, she was sure it was them. Blinking to get a better view, she stood up, and Amanda could feel angry, angry because she had been used so much that it hurt her, that it made her feel as if she was a threat to even herself, but before she could utter those words, a loud piercing sound echoed through her ears, that even the trained personnel was not able to save herself from the screeching sounds. Opening her eyes again, she was met with another sight, two words… Darcy Dancelli.

Amanda suddenly felt as if she was being choked inside out- he was there lying before her in a chair that looks similarly like the one she had sat down on before, the psychiatrists chair, a chair that literally held the insanity in a person. She probably was standing there for quite some time before she was awoken by a murmur, “Ai—” it started before the head lolled to the side and the eyes were, if she was right almost smiling. “Amanda.” Darcy croaked, smiling. “Whe-where am I? I’m not in trouble again right?” he said weak and yet trusting. 

Amanda tilted her head, more in thought of what to do. Such emotions ran through her that she didn’t understand. Didn’t Dancelli just want to die somehow? Hadn’t he expressed the desire to kill himself? The handler wondered about this, and in an almost angel like quality, Amanda walked over to the boy and placed her hands on top of his head, soothing, before pressing one single button, that ended his fate, just like that.

….

Ten seconds counted again in her head.

….

In ten seconds, the boy woke up with such a start that the whole of Division would have woken up if the walls were not so soundproof. “What the fuck?!” he cried, more of a question that an exclamation. “Why the- how- Amanda what is that fuck?” he said his eyes wide, and this time his body was moving, jerking, as if wanting to get out of the chair but with so many restraints on him, it was impossible. “I— I swear Amanda, I saw the light, I saw it, and then, it was gone and then I was here!” The recruit would have touched his body just to check if he really was alive. “Oh my god, I thought I died!” he said as if chuckling after the barrage of words and surprised had left him.

"You did die.." the handler said without pause. "But you are here again alive…" just before the boy could say anything again, Amanda had already locked her fingers on his jaw and opened, them, letting him take a big gulp on a sickly green liquid, for another ten seconds, the boy stopped, gurgled, trashed, cried, and fell unconscious, another ten seconds and he awoke.

This time her eyes were met with eyes of fear, cowering, afraid, unsure, terrified. “What -” he croaked again, the liquid as if burning his insides. “What the fuck is happening Amanda? What, what was that?” His question was met with another this time, numerous cuts burned through his body as the chair released tiny robots that cut through his skin as it walked over it. The recruit was crying again, moving around to try and throw off the little bugs that were attached to him with no avail. 

"Godamnit Amanda!" he said, and both recruit and handler looked down at the deep red gashed that seemed to eat through his skin until the bones were almost seen. The interrogation room was never met with this kind of scream until now. "Wha- what -have… have I done to— to de —de serve this?!" said his words filled with anguish and despair, "Amanda, help- help me?" he cried out his body wracking in pain and his hear literally bleeding until he blacked out. Whether with blood loss or his own body getting tired.

Ten seconds rang again, and once again the boy woke up, his cuts magically now scars. “Please no more, Amanda… please… I’ I’m sorry for what I did, or what i’ve done, oh my god, what was that? Please, I don’t know.. is this some lesson you want to teach me, goddamnit, please.. I don’t.. just, just kill me already!!!” the shout said, a mix of betrayal, hurt and anger in the boys eyes that battled with her own.

The handler tilted her head as she listened to the boy’s words, and when she was satisfied he would stop she spoke. “But… I did kill, you and I will, again and again.” his eyes grew wide, wider that it could have been. “Wasn’t this you plan all along Mr. Dancelli?” she said without preamble, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

"Haven’t you always wanted to die?" she let those cruel words sink in… hook, line and sink him, "Now I’m giving you the chance, again and again and again."

The fate of Darcy Dancelli was unknown that day, but Interrogation Block 12, was never used by anyone else. 

[watching-your-six]

Systematic Killings (AU) - Rachel Berkley

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INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

"Raoul, she does not take -." Liane Glass started as she flicked her finger on a syringe that contained a shiny- yet dark orange color. "Yes she does Liane, did you see how she reacted with the Patterson recruit?" he asked as he sat on his chair looking at how his colleague of sorts, Liane Glass would toy with their new experiment. "Why do we not just let her kill them all in one go?" The older man asked. Liane looked back at him with a haughty look and a roll of her eyes. "Fine, for this round we’ll see, have you made your own serum yet?" The older man stood up and went on the other side of the unconscious handler. "As a matter of fact- yes." he said with a smile that showed his teeth and ye did not reach his ears. A smile that would have chilled the hottest of blood.

With a syringe darted to the side of her neck, Amanda suddenly woke up. Disoriented but once again standing. “Good Evening Ms. Magnus.” the curt voice said. “Have you had a good sleep?” The handler nodded, taking in the words. “Very well. If you are all set for your next assignment, please proceed outside where your pet, Doyle, will be giving the necessary instructions.” With those words, the handler did not blink, she just walked towards the doorways that opened automatically for her, as there once again was Doyle with a table, waiting.

INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

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Recruit Name: Rachel Berkley

Death: Accidental Bomb Detonation

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Amanda had left the doors, her mind was clear and her conscience was shut in a box as she felt nothing, and saw nothing but the task she was set to do. On the tablet was once again a name and a room number. 

Rachel Berkley - Cell Number 1

The handler did not remember much as she walked down the hallway from where she had also committed her mission, a mission that placed in her body and mind forcefully. All she knew right now was that it was to eliminate the person who was in her task. With unflinching eyes, and yet a relaxed posture, she made her way into Cell Number 1, the smell of acid that should have been burning was miraculously gone and standing crucified on the wall directly in front of her was Rachel Berkley.

Just before the door closed, quick running steps reached her ears “Aman—- uh- Magnus!” Doyle said as he ran carrying a box. “Dr. Glass said I should give you this.” he continued as he placed a box in between both of them. The handler looked at the guard’s eyes and took the box with one hand - the other? It went straight towards his gut. “Magnus.That’s the only term you will call me.” she said, her whole personality clinical, apart from the eyes wherein an icy storm weaved through their blue tint.

For some reason, even if she had never seen what the box contained, she had an inkling what it could be. Could it be because she still had her own thoughts intact? Despite the serum that was injected in her? Probably yes… 

The door now firmly closed behind her, Amanda walked in front of the girl who’s eyes contained an anger same as her own, but this one, filled with emotion, this one filled with ice covered daggers as it pierced her, or rather, should have pierced her. “I should never have trusted you in the first place.” the words were spoken low, almost in a breaking quality. That once upon a time, Rachel was the girl who cared about her handler, almost the same way as the handler did. Now, all the apprehension the agent had during her graduation came back… her handler was just the monster she believed she was in Division.

True to the newest serum in her, Amanda did not care for words said and let the fully conscious yet bound girl to speak. The handler walked towards the crucified figure, wherein by the head, hands and feet were strategically placed containers where the items in the box could be placed. It was no surprise to when the handler opened, the box, it contained numerous little bombs that had a special detonator in them.

Even as the girl simmered in anger in front of her, Amanda need not need to say too many words. “Dr. Glass and Dr. Wilkes agree that you make such a find agent, Ms. Berkley.” the handler started. “These are all the bombs you had innovated while inside Division, many of which are creative and yet deliver the best performance… yet, Division can offer so little people to do this to, and with the recent knowledge of your relationship, the only way to let you go, is at least to acknowledge the job well done.” In a nutshell, the bombs were to be used on her and as smart as Rachel was, she knew that from the start.

Just as Amanda had placed the first set of bombs near the body, an electrocution bomb, that mimics the hurt of a tazer, Rachel refused to budge and let the effects wash over her. Strong as she was, she did not cry out. By the fourth set of bombs, Rachel had felt her bones were melting, her skin burning off and if she looked down, her blonde hair was already falling to the floor. 

Finally, the last set of bombs were placed, Rachel’s eyes grew wide. “How did you—?” she started but Amanda cut in, “Dr. Glass saw your blueprints and found it fitting to finish this certain creation with their own twist. I have little idea what it does, but for certain, the best is saved for the last yes?” she said cordially before placing the bombs on the containers once again.

The agent feared for her life at this moment, that was the kind of bomb that should have not been made yet, that everything was just by plan. Just as Amanda had finished placing the bomb and turned to walk away, Rachel had already stopped the tears from flowing… and before the timer ticked down to zero, the agent was able to pierce the handler with words, that only the deepest of Amanda’s desires was able to hear.

"I trusted you..." Those were the last words from the agents mouth. 

Despite the serum, despite the apathy, Amanda stood there, shocked still, until it was her turn again to be hit by another serum  to the neck and black out… this time, the same heels clicked into her vision as it faded away.

[watching-your-six]

Systematic Killings (AU) - Emma Leigh Carick

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INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

"How many more do we have?" a woman’s voice said as it echoed throughout a room. "Three more" a man replied. 

"I only have two more serums to use, her body is getting too used to it, what do you think we should do?" Liane Glass said as she moved around the room, looking at the unconscious handler who was not stirring in her sleep. 

"The best thing we can do is use the same serum from Mr. Dancelli on the one we have next, not because Mr. Dancelli’s show was a failure, in fact it was one of the best I have seen, but because it did not make the experiment too tired in the end. Also, Mr. Dancelli has proved to have denied himself the permission of looking if others cared for him, as such we had ruled his death as suicide of sorts." Wilkes replied as if it was just as normal as checking his notes. 

Liane walked towards the male doctor looking over his shoulder at the scribbled writing on his notebook. “Well,” the female replied, “I think I understand where you are going, this time, we’ll reverse it the other way around?” A quiet nod answered her and even she nodded on her own to think on how to proceed. “I think I have the perfect plan, call on Doyle to proceed with Interrogation Room 14, make sure that by tomorrow at nightfall, the whole area has been fixed to our liking. Let us let Ms. Magnus sleep for a little bit more.”

INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

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Recruit Name: Emma - Leigh Carick

Death: Heart Attack

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If it was any other normal day, Amanda’s body would have resisted the wake up call, for some reason, deep inside her psyche she was so tired that breathing became a chore. That was the case until she could hear Glass once again move around, the clicking of her heels no doubt voiced the displeasure in her face. Amanda didn’t have to look at her, she knew already. 

"This is the same serum Ms. Magnus, just a little tweak from the last time. You know your duties, and whether you like them or not, well…" Glass shrugged with a chuckle, a tune that sent shivers down her spine… and then nothingness once again. "But don’t worry…" the psychiatrist’s voice was still ringing in her ears even as she only saw the darkness, "you won’t have to do a lot of things here, all you need to do is press a button, you will know what to say when it comes." 

The handler was now standing up again… Interrogation Room 13, the same layout as when Dancelli had his final moments … but this time, the chair was different, it was void of the male recruit, and rather than knives, detonators, items that could physically kill, were only wires and suctions, just like a hospital would have during medical examinations. The handler idly wondered what they were for… 

Soon enough, the door opened again and thrown inside by two burly guards was a sedated Emma Leigh Carick, that despite sedation was quick to punch, trash around and speak as if a wild animal on the loose. “Amanda! Hey!” she said when their eyes met, the agent’s eyes, half lighting up when they saw their handler “Tell these two fuckheads to let me go or I will punch em’ in the gut! You know I can!” She was strong-willed, but she was small, and in that sense physically weaker. It wasn’t long before Emma was strapped on the chair and the belts tightened to the maximum so she wouldn’t fall or destroy anything.

"Amanda?" a curious word, a tone that many of her recruits and agents had said before they met their fate. "Now, now Emma…" she smiled, "don’t worry, this is just a game, like a virtual game." the handler said softly, it was as if, Amanda thought she was back to who she was, kind, sweet, and yet inside there was blankness, as if she knew what to say and yet didn’t understand what she was saying and what she meant to do.

"Oh, ok, if you say so. Is it like a video game?" the agent asked. "I mean, I’m all for testing it, but the restraints are getting a bit uh, hurtful." The handler just nodded, "Yes just like a video game, virtual reality of sorts, oh and I’m sorry, it’s a prototype and we needed someone who would enjoy this, the restraints are just for safety purposes. Don’t worry." the soothing voice said as it placed the wiring and suction on the girl’s head, hands, feet and joints.

"Just relax… Ms. Carick." and just before Emma could retort in either confusion or whatever emotion regarding the use of her surname, the agent’s eyes went blank as her vision blurred. On one wall, directly in front of the two way mirror in the interrogation room, was a giant screen wherein the visions from what the agent saw with her eyes were projected on.

From Amanda’s view, the girl was smiling, as if having fun, and the screen on the wall was a testament to that. It was Jasper, or at least Amanda knew it was from the files and photos Division has given her. The screen showed moments in Emma’s point of view, and it seems Jasper was talking to her, memories of old passing through the screen.

The screen showed moments of friendship? Kinship? Things that were privy to their lives, scenes that had fun of sorts, danger… It was quick though, more like a preview, and then, Nathan showed up..

"Come on Nathan! Let’s do it, you need to have some fun!" Emma’s voice said, as she teasing with a reluctant Nathan in regards to stealing something around Division during the night. Whether this was true or not, Amanda did not know, but continued to watch the scene,"I don’t know Emma, the guards are pretty rowdy tonight,—"  the boy replied, in which was answered by "You’re just afraid Nathan, if you’re sure you won’t don’t regret it when I have some fun and food!" the girl teased again before turning the corridor. There was a view of the gray walls before a voice was heard and the scene turned to the left, it was Nathan, walking slowly on the floor so that he wouldn’t be seen. "Knew you’d come!" Emma smiled as she cocked her head. 

It was a quick way to the pantry, quick, and yet dangerous as there were multiple times that they were almost caught, but just in time they were able to duck or move towards a different hallway. By the time the duo was stuffed with food, they made their way back to their rooms, blood pumped up and faces flushed red with a mix of nervousness and anticipation. “Wasn’t that fun?” the girl said. “Told you it would be.” she continued, a few pants were heard. The boy shook his head with a smile also on his face, “Course it is, we’re good, but we need to be careful next time cau—” he wasn’t able to finish his sentence, as the next scene showed was a bullet through his brain. The screen, or from a perspective, Emma’s eyes saw a bullet his straight through Nathan’s head and moved sideward, piercing the inside until blood splattered on her. Emma fell down on her knees crying as she could hear a man shout.

"It’s your fault for his death, your fault that you had to bring him with your unnecessary wants, you should have died not him." 

Just as ScreenEmma wanted to retort, and the real Emma was starting to trash uncomfortable on the chair, the screen went blank, and this time it was Cambria on the screen.  Emma and Cambria were on the top of the latters apartment, watching the traffic from below while enjoying the autumn wind. “Emma!” Cambria called out “Don’t get too near the edge, Amanda wouldn’t be so happy with me if I let you fall!” Emma turned back to look at Cambria before rolling her eyes. “Of course I won’t fall, I’ve done this lots of time, come on Cambria! Have your legs dangle, it’s fun!” As fun as it was at least with ones heart pounding, the building was so high up it felt like the air pressure had changed, and yet it was exhilarating as well. 

"I— I’m not sure Em…" the other agent "I think I’m good here." With another roll of her eyes, Emma jumped up from the ledge so she could drag Cambria towards her, at least that was the intent before she herself slipped, prompting Cambria to shout and run as fast as she could to grab the other girl and not fall to her death. "I got you Emma! Come on pull up!" the other girl’s eyes were afraid for a moment, but when the hand came, they easily got up and the fear was gone. "Oh my god that was fun!" she exclaimed as if it was the best adrenaline rush she had ever had. Emma couldn’t help but jump up and look at how far that would have been "That was so cool, I didn’t understa-" once again she was cut off from her words when beside her, a body started to fall. 

Emma was only able to grab Cambria’s sleeve. “No, no no no Cambria get up! Come on!” she said frantic. “You weren’t supposed to fall! Come on!” but as small as Emma was, she was weak, and no amount of adrenaline rush could have given her the strength the pull a full grown body from such a height. Eerily though, Cambria wasn’t shouting, but she looked at Emma as if wondering.

"Isn’t this what you wanted Emma? Fun?" With that… Emma’s fingers finally slipped and the body of her best friend fell uncountable stories below.

In the real world, Emma was already sweating, her heart rate was already at such a dangerous level, and her words that were muttered held little sense. “Oh my god/ I’m sorry/ No,/ It wasn’t / It’s an accident / Cambria!/ Jesus, no!/ My fault/ Oh god… /”

Different scenarios then flashed through the screen, Amanda and Emma jumping from Air Force regulated planes, both wearing parachutes before jumping out, and suddenly, she didn’t have a parachute anymore! But ScreenEmma was enjoying the fun and exhilaration with the addition of the wind on her hair, the shouts of her handler almost non-existent. At least that was until ScreenEmma was smacked on the face with a handle- a parachute handle? “Pull it!” she heard her Handler say “Pull it goddamnit!” and pull she did, safe from being flatten from such a height, enjoying more of the fresh air and delicious sensation. At least that was the case until she dropped safely on the ground and the only one she was with was a body of her handler on the ground, wherein there were more broken bones than not.

A whisper in the wind echoed in her ears. “I hope you had fun…” said the soothing, caring words, one she would never hear again.

Right now, the real Emma was crying, the blank screen in the room meaning that the girl wasn’t in her visual realm anymore. “Amanda, stop it, what is this? No.. Amanda, please, no more, I… I don’t know why I do that, it was for me, it wasn’t to hurt anyone, it was just for me, I didn’t.. I didn’t mean that they were … why were they, I should be… should be the one punished oh god…” words, so many words left the agents lips. Until, the screen went on again. 

"Jonathan…" one word. Another life. Another chance. Then, they kissed. "Yohan, I told you this would be fine." she giggled from above him as they kissed again. It’s not like any one would know that fast." another giggle was heard as she was tackled to the bottom by Jonathan. "I know Em, I know. You were right." Another sweet kiss as their legs were tangled together. Even with the difference in their height and size they were perfect. They were one.

Jonathan was always the cautious one in their relationship, it took a big explosion and a swift kiss from her side before they could both seal their relationship with such passion. That they were always so careful before doing the deed that no one would know, that they wouldn’t be found out… “You sap, you were just scared about getting found out and you didn’t kiss me first.” she chuckled, and it was met with his own deep rumble. “I know, I know, stop teasing me.” he replied before he tickled her.

The real Emma was somehow smiling, a heat forming in her body, replacing the ice cold feeling of the recent deaths her vision show. Back to the screen, the voices were talking. “Oh Yohan…” she said “I’ll never do anything to destroy what we have. I promise.” The night was spent with passion, as much as it was, at least, until she woke up, the only one beside her was a bloody corpse and a note.

"His killchip has been activated. Romance is not allowed in Division. As you read this, you have five seconds, until it is your turn." 

5… Jonathan was right, they should have been cautious

4… She shouldn’t have been so impulsive

3… It wasn’t their fault, it should have been hers…

2… Just hers, her own…

1…

The real Emma let out an ear piercing scream and her hand despite being restrained was now on top of her chest, she was heaving so hard, everything was so tiring, so lost…

"No… it was only just supposed to be… me" were the real Emma’s last words…

and then, nothing… her body had shut down completely, mind and heart.

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INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

"Liane? I think we’ve put too much into her." a male voice said as it moved the unconscious body on the chair, checking the statistics and watching the small automated movements that meant the mind and body were still functioning, even if unconscious. "Do not be absurd Ra-oul" came a female voice, sing song in it’s tune. "She has just had the two most relaxing deaths in which there were less of an emotion and even less physical work. Magnus just had to push a button and connect the right wires, say the right words. A perfect catalyst in the chain of events." she shrugged, thoroughly unfazed with the situation.

"This wasn’t what we ultimately planned Liane…" came the cautious tone once again before it was cut off. "No Raoul, it’s not, but this is the perfect plan, Amanda Magnus is not just the face that mostly everyone in Division trusts, she has the face that many of Washington, of the White House, of America and different parts of the world know, she is our ticket for whatever purpose she may serve." The voice was almost a cackle, as if the woman was losing her own sanity. "Hear me out Wilkes, this - this what we have, and what we have given her, is a gift. A perfect physical being who can entice anyone with her natural charm, and yet, we control her innermost thoughts, it will be nothing but a breeze for her to do all the work… Trust me."

And trust did Mr. Raoul Wilkes did do. “She is almost at her limit, we should finish the rest quickly…”

INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_ INTERMISSION _~_

===================================================

[watching-your-six]

Downtime || Emma and Amanda || 7/05/2014

Location: Amanda’s House

Time Frame: July 5, 2014

Words: 2577

Emma woke up to an unfamiliar environment and immediate jumped out of bed. She looked around curiously before remembering that she was at Amanda's house. She had intended on going home, but not wanting to leave after the fireworks were finished, she ended up spending the night. She opened the door to her room and peeked into the hallway, surprised that it was empty. Perhaps she woke up earlier than Amanda for once. Figuring that she should use this time to her advantage, she slid out of her room and outside to get some fresh air. The sun had just risen and it was surprisingly bright outside. She glanced up at the roof that was surprisingly low and smirked. It was definitely low enough for her to jump on top of. Using the chair outside as leverage, she climbed on top of the roof and sat there, her legs swinging over the edge. She took a deep breath and smiled as she took in her surroundings and was very surprised when she noticed a boy who looked like he spent way too much time lifting weights in the neighbor's backyard.

Amanda had been up early and was adjusting the downstairs - she had to start baking something for the old ladies who were always around to help her. Deciding that two hours of the batter in the fridge would be enough, she walked outside to start a small grill - maybe Emma would appreciated something like that, after all, Amanda would probably have served vegetables if she was alone on this morning anyway. Just as she walked outside, grilling items ready on her bag she spotted an eccentric looking lump on the grass. The shadow seemed, wrong somehow in it's placement. Turning around she squinted her eyes and saw Emma on the rooftop. "Emma!" she called out. "You're pretty early!" she kept saying as she started to warm the charcoal and grill - maybe she should have made pancakes. With that thought she called still - "Do you want pancakes or something grilled for breakfast? And please be careful!" After all, despite Emma being old enough to understand what was safe and not, Amanda still had to make sure the girl won't just break her neck.

Emma glanced down at where she figured Amanda was standing, although she wasn't one hundred percent sure. She didn't want to risk leaning over the edge too much. "Morning, Amanda," she said with a smile on her face, her mood from the day before almost nonexistent. It was almost as if her mourning light was switched off and all that was left was the normal Emma who hid everything the way it was supposed to be. "Anything you make is fine," she told her, rolling her eyes at her warning. She's been on rooftops before. She has nothing to worry about. "Who's the kid who looks like he's made of rocks?"

Amanda shook her head. "Mornin' to you too." she smiled as she continued then with grilling something light for them - it was pretty early still, and apart from what Amanda wanted - which was to lounge around - she would probably let Emma do what she wanted, as long as the neighbors, however few they are to start complaining. The handler blinked her eyes at the question and in a instant her mood brightened up. "He's Balty - he sometimes comes here to... clear the rocks in the garden." she had to stop a laugh from forming- after all it was quite funny. "Care to take a wager? A dollar to guess how old he is?" Definitely he was younger than Emma, but at a height towering over Amanda and muscles that seemed to grow more as the days passed - it was quite intimidating.

Emma swung her legs back and forth, raising an eyebrow at Amanda's words. "Does he eat the rocks too?" She glanced at the yard once again. If he wasn't such a rock, he might have looked attractive. He had a nice face that is. "I'd say twenty. He looks like a kid still, despite the rock part of him I mean." She smirked and leaned back. "I think I can take him. He looks like he'd be weak in the knee areas and definitely not fast enough to catch a moving target. A roundhouse to the back of the knees would confuse him long enough for me to get to the pressure points on his neck." She picture the fight in her mind, the way she did plenty of times, and smiled as she thought of taking down a man his size. It was a very good challenge.

Amanda coudn't help but let out a laugh - this was nice, the feeling of being at least a little bit free. "I suppose not, best not to let her grandma hear you." she chuckled. Fixing the grill and placing on some hotdogs and beef, she started to cook - probably later Balty might get a whiff of the protein and ask for some - it wouldn't be the first time- but him coming to her house might surprise Emma somewhat. "Darling, don't maim him too much -" she said with a light tone, smiling as she poured some oil and sauce - "he stays fit for his grandma - no one else lives with her and so he's there to to guard her or do things for her - like carrying the grocery. It's also his 19th birthday next week - I don't know if his girlfriend is coming though." After all, his grandma did make the girl uncomfortable. "What do you want to do this afternoon?" the handler asked after some moments. It was a good day, bright but not hot and windy, perfect for doing anything outside the house.

Emma rolled her eyes. So he was a mama's boy, or rather, a grandmama's boy. And she didn't think he could be less attractive. "What would she do? Try hitting me with her cane?" She smirked at the idea, although she figured that it would be something more painful than a bruise. She laughed a little at Amanda's words. "I wouldn't maim him. Maybe, just prove to him that he's probably not as badasss as he thinks he is." She liked the idea more and more and maybe she would challenge him to a little sparring session. She loved nothing more than showing boys that a woman can beat their asses. "But fine. I won't beat him up, just so you don't get in an awkward conversation with your neighbors." She glanced over to him again as he started to clean up the backyard. His head lifted up suddenly and he glanced toward their direction. When he noticed her he tilted his head to the side and Emma waved. "19? Damn I was so close." She took a deep breath and shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever you want, captain." She didn't know where that came from, but she liked the sound of it. After all she was in the air force once, maybe she was a captain there.

Amanda shook her head finding it oddly comforting to talk with Emma about anything really, even though she was on her roof, it seemed normal, and oddly satisfying. "No, she'd probably have you sit down and cuff you ear off. After all, no one else does take care of them but him." She sighed inwardly as she said that - would she be like that if she grew older? Maybe not, there was no one for her anyway, and with her line of work it was a miracle she was still alive - she'd probably never get to that time wherein she would be in her prime and happy about it. She was in such a deep trance on her own thoughts- the only saving grace the food on the grill had was her hand automatically moving it - the only thing that did take her out of her thoughts was Emma - and she called her - what? "I prefer Major, Agent." she tried to smile as she placed the hotdogs and meal on the plates and turned around to look upwards again. It was a painful thing, or rather bittersweet, something rooted from her past being said like that. It wasn't the same, but it wasn't that different. "Come on down here so we can eat outside - if you want you can call Balty and ask him to join even."

Emma laughed and rolled her eyes at the thought. "As if she could catch me. My grandma tried to do the same thing, but I was always faster than she was." There is a bit of pride in her voice. She was the only grandchild willing to ever go against their grandmother and she loved every moment of it. "I guess that's nice of him, in an annoying way." She didn't know why she thought it was annoying, but she figured it didn't matter. She scrunched up her nose at the correction. "Major? Is that even a rank? It sounds like something they'd call you when you are being a Major Pain-in-the-ass." But if she was a Major, then she'd call her Major. Although if Amanda was going to be calling her Agent for it, then maybe she should second guess this idea. She glanced over at the boy in the neighbor's yard as he kept looking in her direction while doing his yard work. She hoped that he didn't think she was cute or anything because then she'd have to kick his ass for a different reason. "I'd rather not call him. Besides he looks like he's busy." She slid off the roof, hanging on by her fingertips for a little bit before letting go and dropping the remaining feet to the floor. "So, what's for breakfast?"

Amanda gave only a chuckle as she continued to grill - Emma was a handful that was something she couldn't say no to. "What now? Am I a major pain in the ass on you?" she said giving a slanted look at Emma's figure on the roof before going back to her cooking "I suppose I'm technically a Colonel, but I didn't really go to the reception day of that award. I suppose you don't want me to start reciting the order or ranks now do you?" she said again with a wistful yet jolly tone in her voice. After all, it wasn't the best reason on why she wasn't a Colonel - but it still brought back memories -both good and bad. "That's fine - he probably has more protein than he should anyway - hmm, the usual hotdogs and steak strips. If you want anything healthy though there are some fruits and salad in the fridge, later for lunch I was supposed to make pancakes but, if you'd like to go out and eat somewhere or anything as long as I can make it, I'll be happy to cook." She watched Emma as she slid down from the roof - while she herself busied with the plates. Eating out by the backward would be a nice thing.

Emma smiled despite the little hole that she dug herself. If Amanda was willing to be honest with her, then she would do the same . "Well, not a major pain in the ass, just a slight one and only on paperwork days." She blinked wondering, why she didn't try to become a Colonel even though she missed her reception day. Maybe that was a story for another day. "I can do without the rank lecture thanks. You can be Major I guess." She wiped her hands on a napkin then peered at the food that Amanda had made. "I think you've got your foods backwards, Amanda. Pancakes are for breakfast and hotdogs are for lunch. Not that I care either way. I like being unpredictable." She went inside to wash her hands before going back to where Amanda was to get her food.

Amanda couldn't help but add a snicker at the tone of her laughter. "Of course, I wouldn't be a proper handler if I was not." Although if ever there were more missions afoot or on bad days, she'd probably be a major pain in the ass as well. It was only luck at how she wasn't that much of a strict person during her first few months in Division. Given everything that had happened, her view became very grim lately. "But rank lectures are so fun -" she said with a mocking sigh before making sure everything, even the orange juice and soda was ready. Soda was terrible bad, but she'd like to chug one better rather than juice when eating meat. After all, this little holiday was her special treat to herself to be a bit free, nothing wrong with mixing things up. "And here I am having soda for breakfast, be thankful it's not beer." she said with a soft smile. After all, Jack did that during lunch, breakfast with Minnesota's delicious blueberries, and the secret ingredient... beer. Thinking about it plastered a smirk on Amanda's face, even as she sat down on the bench in front of the table in the backyard. Not even noticing her actions as she took some bread - and rice - she was humming.

Emma smiled, liking this more playful Amanda that she was with. Amanda was never a very serious person, but she was definitely not this happy while in Division either. She liked that she was an actual person underneath her seriousness. It helped her respect her as someone more than just a person to call on when she was in trouble. "That's too much fun for one conversation, Major," she told her sarcastically. "Let's save that one for another day." She poured herself some orange juice and sat down as she watched Amanda. "Beer's not so bad in the morning. Of course, people will call you an alcoholic for drinking it so early, but that's their problem." She smirked and began to get some of the food that Amanda made, vaguely aware of her handler's humming. Damn, she must be really happy. "So what are we doing today?"

Amanda poured some rootbeer on her glass, funny that she was so reserved when in Division back then - especially so with recruits. Even until now - this time though, when face with a lighter stance which was with her agent or other handlers, everything tended to go swimmingly, more so when they were outside of Division's range. Well, they never really are outside the organization's range - but being this far had it's perks despite it all. "Well, it's still early, there is a lot we could do, I only have two errands to do today anyway, if you want to come with me, or we can do something then that's your call, if you want to go out and have your own fun, it's fine - as long as you - one, don't go into the city unless there is a need, and two, don't have the police involved in something." she said making sure the girl understood that her holiday, meant no police, no government, no Division, nothing. "I have to go find some new plants in about two hours, so 10am. After this, just finish up what you need to do for yourself this morning, and meet me in the living area." she relayed as an idea and an invitation before getting back to her meal.

[watching-your-six]

Tension In The Air || Amanda and Chiron || 05/26/2014

[chironmasters-blog]

Maybe his tone had been too honest, too harsh because Chiron noticed how the other handler turned tense for a moment. He couldn’t say that he felt sorry about that but he didn’t like how easy it was these days to put Amanda off her game. He had always thought her stronger than that. Then again he didn’t like the entire subject either and it rattled him at the worst times possible. He was most likely just too sensitive lately and over thinking the most basic matters. It was definitely something that he needed to do less. He was glad about the change in topic.

“I can’t complain.”, he said trying to remember if there had been anything remarkable happening. Of course apart from getting a new recruit assigned in Darcy and another new one in Halle there hadn’t been anything that he could share. “Got two new recruits to handle but that’s just how it is down here.” He shrugged to underline his words. Chiron had never liked it a lot to talk about himself especially since he lived for his work and had very few interests outside of it. He couldn’t just let the conversation die at this point of course and he decided to appreciate Amanda’s effort. After all she was one of his closest acquaintances and just because there had been a strain in their relationship lately, didn’t mean that he wanted to put her off much more. “And you? I hope you got some rest. Enjoy the quiet times, you know they will end much sooner than we’d all like it.” 

[watching-your-six]

If she did learn that some people were not worth the risk then maybe she didn't have to feel weak. Not only were the recruits technically kids, well after twenty two to be honest in her eyes they should have not been kids. Still, when she was twenty two and captain of a squad at least she had training. The recruits lived their lives without that kind of supervision, if she was honest with herself, maturity was a big issue in many of the recruits whether hers or not. Even agents too, no one could. Most agents once out didn't really do much, not only because Division dictated most of their lives, but there really isn't much to do. Especially if one didn't finish schooling properly.

The recent happening with Dancelli though made Amanda a little less sympathetic to the plight of those who would rather end their lives. It was if she thought about it more rather wasteful. To each his own maybe, but it was too much trouble for a selfish act. Whether it was her own upbringing coming up or the fact that it was becoming more of a trouble that granted - she would have to live with it, and find a way to at least continue to work without having to problematize about it too much.

"Things have been quiet, but yes it's best to use this to our advantage in either making better of the recruits or to ourselves, because of course missions are always around the corner. I'd have to ask Olivia again maybe to make sure that if ever she will have any of my agents on missions to at least give a heads up. Not that i'm complaining but at least half a day of being ready would be benefitial." she said. After all, there were times Olivia would give missions on a "that day that moment" notice. It wasn't that easy to do.

Settling back into her chair, making sure she was more comfortable and feeling lighter, she asked. "When we're back up top again, do you want to eat somewhere?" she asked casually. "Maybe we can invite Wesley, or even Williams, though I haven't really talked to her yet." she shrugged. It was a silly invitation, "It might be good, at least - before our quiet time ends." Who knows after all, a mission might loom soon and one of them could die.

[division-dancelli]

Miss You || Amanda & Darcy || May 30, 2014

Darcy only now began to realize that his actions, that his decision to try to end his life, was one whose consequences didn’t just start and end with him. Before he’d isolated himself in his room, downed his bottle of Vicodin, and dragged the blade over his wrist, he hadn’t realized how much he had meant to Aidan. One some level, he had known that he’d meant something to the technician, he just hadn’t been aware of how much. To Darcy, Aidan’s caring had been enough for him to re-evaluate his life, to realize that it wasn’t worth trying to end it again.But then there had been others to come visit him. There had been Isaac and there had been Valentina. Both of them varying degrees of saddened and angered by his former decision to try to kill himself. Most surprising to Darcy was Jason who had revealed, in so many words, that he mattered to him.

But possibly the most important consequence of his action did not affect any of his friends. Because, sure, they were his friends and he meant something to them in some way. If he had died, they would’ve grieved, but they would’ve gotten over it eventually, wouldn’t they? But still, Darcy hadn’t died and they didn’t have to grieve. All they had to do was chastise him or reassure themselves that he wouldn’t try to kill himself again. No, what mattered most right now, who Darcy managed to hurt the most was Amanda. He’d done more than just endanger his own life the night he’d taken a blade to his wrists. He’d endangered Amanda’s. He wasn’t sure how badly she was being punished by Steele for his own actions, but he did know that now he was reassigned. What if he had actually died? Would Amanda’s punishment have been worse? What was his ex-handler doing now? The very thought of Amanda being punished made his stomach clench and a cold sweat break out on his forehead and it was only then that he began to realize that Amanda meant more to him than just a handler. If she’d been hurt because of his choices, he wasn’t sure he could handle that.

Compelled to see how she was doing, to try in some small way to right the wrongs he’d done against her, he found himself in her hallway, lingering in front of her door. For a moment, he hesitated, wondering if he’d get her in even more trouble just for simply being there. But it was too late, wasn’t it? He’d already gotten her in trouble. All he could do now was try to make amends as he took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

[watching-your-six]

She had already given Chiron all of the possible things she could regarding her newest loss of recruit. Files, evaluations, marked exams, etc. All the information she could. Days before, when the gist of it all went along the walls of Division, it was a heartbreaking thing almost. It was painful and it made her self-esteem sorely plummet down at how it could have happened. Chiron has said otherwise though, that it wasn't her fault. But how could she not think of it that way at least? Even though it was awfully blantant that maybe it might have not really been her fault all in all, it was still her job to at least be aware of such happenings.

Both irritation and guilt washed through her, the only comfort trying to blanket her was the voice of Chiron and other people telling her that it was not her fault all in all. She had tried yes? She had tried to be able to make sure her wards, agents or not were alright. Even the doctors had said so - it was the will of the recruit to have died. But even if all was said and done, it was impossible not to feel at least a bit responsible, and it was also impossible not to feel at least a little bit angry at how selfish everything was. After all, she had moments wherein recruits would confide in her, and it wasn't like she had tattled to Olivia about everything she knew... still, everything in her mind, good, bad, understanding or not - soon enough she'd have to keep under wraps again.

Still, who was she to argue? Heaving a very large and unlady like sigh she pushed herself up from her desk and went to get a cup of tea. Emotion was something she was easy with, but at times like these, even she hoped things would all just kill themselves. It was too much of a burden to think about.

The knock on the door came as a surprise, cup in hand, she opened it... her eyebrows went up as a sort of surprise, but her gut droppped down to the floor. She gave a small smile and a shrug, "Good day Mr. Dancelli." she said, biting back another sigh.

It was without a doubt, a bittersweet thing to see him in front of her door.

[emma-leigh-carick]

Fireworks || Amanda & Emma || Convo || July 4, 2014

Characters: Amanda Magnus and Emma-Leigh Carick

Time Frame: July 4, 2014

Location: Amanda’s Apartment

Words: 2780

[watching-your-six]

Emma There was a moment sometime between the start and the end of the fireworks that drove Emma off of her rooftop. She didn’t jump down—too many witnesses—but she climbed down the fire escape until she was on the street. She thought about going to her empty apartment, but the thought of being alone at that moment was horrible. You should never be alone today, Jasper used to say. Maybe she will listen to him this time. She stumbled through the streets, walking no where in particular as she pushed passed groups of people watching the fireworks. She hated them. With every “oo” and “ah” that they gave the fireworks, she wanted to crawl deeper into Jonathan’s sweater. Eventually, she found herself at a familiar apartment building. Taking a deep breath, she went inside and to her room, hoping that she was there. She knocked on her handler’s door, hoping that she heard it above the noise.

Amanda sighed as she sipped her sparkling orange soda. That was probably the only thing that would sparkle in her 4th of July as she sat by the balcony of her apartment. Later on, when things died down she would pick up whatever was left of her things and go back to the house she had purchased a few months back. “It’s always the same…” she breathed. Shaking her head at the display, making her both feel somber and melancholic, Amanda moved towards the kitchen when she heard a knock. Funny, she thought, after all most of her neighbors were out celebrating… opening the door she was surprised - pleasantly though - she didn’t expect this company. “Not so happy fourth of July?” she smiled down at her agent as she opened her door more, letting her in.

Emma let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding when Amanda opened the door. She never knew where she stood with her handler—if they were supposed to be on good terms or bad ones—but in a time like this, she figured that it didn’t really matter. She smiled weakly, trying her best to make it not seem as forced as it was. “Fourth of July isn’t a happy day for me,” she murmured as she walked into her apartment. She glanced around, not knowing what to do or to say. She didn’t think this through properly. All she did know was that she wanted to leave her home. She looked everywhere except at Amanda and said, “So, how’s your day going?”

Amanda shook her head fondly. “I can see it in your face… ” Amanda definitely thought something was up with the girl, after all, Emma, on all the times such as this did come to her apartment on all the possible days, it definitely did mean something. If the girl was able to do this - come to her - when she was lonely or anything, then Amanda need not to push for anything - for now. “As it is for me, when I look out into that beautiful dark sky, littered with fireworks made from the tax money of the people…” she shrugged with a small smile. Of course it was a cause of celebration, but still - she couldn’t help but think that money could have been put to better use. “Me? Just, packing my items for a trip - make yourself at home, though I will need to leave in a while.” she went into the kitchen to make a soda fizz for Emma.

Emma played around with her fingers, mentally scolding herself for being so transparent. She was better than this. She remembered days where she would cry into her pillow and leave her house as if nothing had happened. Now wasn’t a time to be soft in any way. It wasn’t just the day though. It was everything on top of it that made her feel like complete shit. Emma glanced outside, noticing that fireworks continued to light up the night sky. It would be over soon she knew, and the sooner it was the better. “They’re supposed to be pretty, I guess. I think they’re stupid.” She sat down on her couch, remembering that the last time she was there she had been bleeding out. She smiled weakly at the memory. She and Jonathan also had the start of their awkward conversation that night. Amanda’s words gratefully pulled her from her thoughts. “Where are you going?” she asked, feeling as though she was being abandoned yet again.

Amanda smiled as she looked back again at the fireworks. “They are pretty… just maybe wasteful.” she shrugged to turn back to her packing. After all, there was a time she also experienced this kind of pleasure watching the fireworks… now, there were just that, memories. “Penny for your thoughts?” The handler asked, silly as that point may be. “I could offer a dollar even - I’m concerned I guess - I don’t think that’s bad right? For me to be concerned about you, even in the slightest?” she asked sparing the girl a small look before turning back to her things. After all, when was the best place to start talking if not now? Amanda only knew that she just… shouldn’t push as much. Finished with her packing she took up two trolley bags, one each saddled with two other giant backpacks. “Me? I’m going home, if you want, I’ll be more than grateful if you’d come —-“

Emma smirked at Amanda’s words. Jasper used to tell her that. Except he would always give her a penny when she asked. Sometimes she wondered if her kept a handful of pennies on him at all times just in case she became thoughtful. Regardless, she didn’t know if she wanted to trust Amanda. She has proven that she could be trusted, but Emma didn’t know how much. However, she figured she saw her file and knew at least some of her background. Maybe she already knew what this day meant to her. “I… uh… Amanda… do you hate me?” She looked at her from under her eyes. She didn’t know whether she wanted to know the truth or not, but she wanted to know what she would say. “Home? You live somewhere other than here?”

Amanda walked around her apartment as she and Emma conversed. After making sure everything was set - the handler made her way back into the kitchen to grab the orange soda she was making and placed it on a saucer in front of Emma. At the girl’s words a thought of concern passed through her features. “You? Is this as a handler? Hmm, no - probably not -” she smiled, making it seem as a jesting nature in which as a handler, if Amanda was any more proper and strict, maybe, maybe there would be a smidget of hate. “But as an adult no- not really. Why? Should I be?” she asked lightly - this day, or rather for this holiday, Amanda didn’t want to feel like a handler, just like how she treated Cambria back then during Christmas, it would be nice to just be - an adult at times. Sitting on the sofa adjacent to Emma she answered the other question. “Yes, I do. Well, recently a few months in yes. It’s not that far away, but it’s a real house - and a real garden. I really can’t have my own garden here anyway. Would you like to come? At least for the Holiday?” she said eager in her invitation.

Emma watched Amanda as she walked around the apartment, distracting herself with her mundane motions. As she answered her question, she sighed. She figured that she would get that sort of answer from her. She shouldn’t have even asked. “I…no. I don’t want you to hate me. It’s just… It’s just that a lot of people do. And…” She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes, feeling as though a weight was in her chest, keeping her from saying anything about it. “I was… today… my mom was raped twenty-five years ago today and then I was born and I don’t know… Today just feels like complete fucking shit.” She kept her eyes on the floor, almost afraid to look at Amanda. She shouldn’t have said anything about it. She should have done what she always did and pretended that everything was okay. But it wasn’t okay, and today she didn’t have the energy to pretend it was. “Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything else to do.” She smiled weakly. “A garden? Do you plant vegetables or something?”

Amanda blinked glad that she was finished in everything she prepared, anything else she would add to do were just movements she wanted to continue doing, most probably just to keep her hands busy somehow. She of course knew that background somehow - rape victim mother - etc - the only problem was - how Emma would be reacting to it - to any of what the handler would say. Most of the times she didn’t ask her recruits about their past unless needed, the psychs did a lot about that - and it wasn’t always pretty. It never was. They, in a way force the recruits and agents to say, and these more in depth revelations needed time. “I would say it wasn’t your fault, the only fault would be the one who brought you to shame - that you still have a choice - but would that help?” she asked, so many factors could come into play, Amanda thought - would she be shaming herself, a father, a mother, friend, would shame on her? Amanda wasn’t technically the best at many heart to heart talks, but as much as possible she had an open ear and an open mind - that was the best she could give after all, she knew every person was different and understanding everyone - no matter how helpful would be quite a feat. “Are you sure that they hate you Emma? These other people? Hate is a very strong word, something that rips your feeling out of your gut and it would be enough to make you do something that can either make you worse or break you.” Slowly, a small smile formed on Amanda’s lips - “No, but I like plants, I don’t think I can keep them alive though, but I can try, being in an apartment is too… stiff for me.”

Emma stared at the floor and played with her fingers as she listened to Amanda’s words. Those words weren’t unfamiliar to her. It’s not your fault. If that was really the case, however, Emma figured she wouldn’t feel so guilty about it. How could it not be her fault that her mother was miserable and left with a reminder of what happened to her. “Not really,” she murmured. “Thanks for trying though.” She chewed on her bottom lip and tried to force down all of the dark thoughts in her head. Amanda was trying to help her and she should focus on that. Focus on her. She scoffed and shook her head. “Yeah, I know that they hate me. I had basically twenty-four years of them hating me; I know what it feels like.” She ran a frustrated hand through her hair and jumped when she heard a firework that was a little too loud. “If that’s what hate feels like, then yes, I am definitely sure that they hated me.” Her smile slowly grew, finding herself amused by her lack of a green thumb. “You can keep recruits alive, but not plants?” She looked up at Amanda, a small sparkle of her normal self twinkling in her gaze. “What kind of house is it? Please don’t tell me you live in the suburbs like a boring person.”

Amanda bit her lips trying to decide about it - basically what Emma was trying to say was her parents, or rather her mother - who else would it be? After all it was 24 years. “I can’t really help you that much, even if I wanted to - it’s obvious I’m not going to push regarding that topic, but I appreciate you opening up to me, all I can say is maybe they don’t hate you - maybe… maybe they are angry at themselves and it flows to whoever was nearest.” she shrugged as she stood up, ready to start leaving “I guess it’s like, a boss gets angry at his employee for the rising stock market, employee comes home angry at his boss but takes it out on his wife, because he can’t shout back at his boss, then wife to the child because she can’t talk back to her husband, the child then gets the burden and is angry but the mother, but can’t really shout at the mother for fear of getting scolded, hence the child takes it out on the dog. Poor, innocent dog in the end would be scared, but at least a dog will always love the owner right?” she give a small smile at the end. “Right now you’re just the dog, and those people hate your for something they are powerless to be angry at someone else or themselves.” Then, another wave of fireworks started and cheering came in. “Just remember, once you get angry and take it out on someone, remember that it should be a dog, someone you know who will be there for you, because hating people? Isn’t that such a strong feeling of loneliness?” With that she took a hold of her bags and walked towards the door. “I do try you know, maybe this time it will work out with the plants. It’s near the suburbs, but not exactly in between all the houses who look the same - I’d rather like it to be a bit farther away from civilization, but close enough for emergencies.” A small smile came at Amanda’s features - after all, she remembered her old house … and Jack.

Emma sighed and shook her head. She knew that Amanda would not understand. How could she? No one could understand what she had to go through. She finally tore her eyes away from the floor and glanced up at Amanda. “You’re calling me a dog?” There was small smile in her voice, but she could see where she was coming from and in some sense it was true. Her mother maybe didn’t hate her, but who her father was and what she represented. But that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Emma was still hated by her, no matter how much she tried to win her love. She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “I don’t have a dog and if I did, I would never want to hurt it, even if I was angry.” Jasper used to be her dog. She could yell at him for hours and he would still be there afterward to hold her and tell her it was alright. But he wasn’t around anymore and no matter how hard she might try to see it, Jonathan wasn’t Jasper. Yelling at him would only make the matter worse. This discussion wasn’t helping her feel any better. As Amanda started walking to the door, Emma got to her feet and helped her with some of her bags. “Emergencies like me needing my stitches redone.” She smiled weakly. “I guess that doesn’t sound so bad. At least it’s your own place and not something Division gave you.”

Amanda smiled, mirroring her wards own. “I would like a dog, but for this weekend you can be one why not?” she said. “I’d like a dog too, Jack loved dogs -” she said wistfully, not even aware that Emma was there and that she said his name out loud. Blinking back into her senses she shook her head. She let Emma help her out, glad in a way what this simple bonding could do - if it made their relationship better, then great, if not - well, she’ll just hope it doesn’t come to that.” Finally opening the door - not looking anymore at the fireworks blazing outside, Amanda turned her key in and walked down the hallway towards the elevator. “That it is - i’ve been meaning for my own place, and it’s a better retreat and view than this…” The handler pressed the elevator button and looked down at the girl beside her - “I’m glad you’re going to come with me.” she said - another smile on her features, before entering the elevator.

[watching-your-six]

I don't know whether to laugh at or scold them -

[wesley-blake]

  Exactly. Someone would die and I don’t know about you, but I kind of prefer life over death majority of the time. No book for me.

My dream as a handler would be for my recruits and agents to actually listen to me for once, but I suppose your dream is a good one as well.

[watching-your-six]

You are so serious nowadays Wesley, its not like I'd actually make something that would endanger humanity more than it usually does. 

Well, speaking from that point of view, if they do most of the time follow the handler's orders or listen, or at least that's how I see mine, they would actually get to live. It's the same end at least.

Is something bothering you though Wesley? You are a bit, different.

[watching-your-six]

I don't know whether to laugh at or scold them -

[emma-leigh-carick]

  I don’t use my Southern accent ever, that’s the point of me using it on a mission. To be secretive you know. Either way, it’s a pain to be someone else.

I never said it was the poor people’s language. My mother thought it was the poor people’s language. I don’t give a shit who speaks it, I just know that I can’t. A few ‘cute’ Spanish words? The perks of being a woman I guess.

Your questions haven’t been very good recently, but go ahead.

[watching-your-six]

I know, the problem if it's a target from Washington, even if you did use your accent and the target might somehow recognize you, I doubt he would easily be fooled. 

Well, it wouldn't hurt to try still - poor language or not. Of course it the usual, languages make us more well rounded people - but in the case of Division, it would help. You have a lot of time outside the bunkers, you could try to review at least. 

That's my job sadly - anyway, not really handler related, but I was wondering how Jonathan is? You have seen him after his mission yes?

[watching-your-six]

I don't know whether to laugh at or scold them - (private)

[valentinaabernathy]

  Tristan? [she gives a bitter laugh] From what I see, I was on my own. That’s fine. I never knew it any differently. At least you came in time for the massacre.

Oh, them, too. I don’t need psychiatric attention, but they don’t seem to see that. And they still have me running down here for the leg and shoulder. I guess I should have them checked out more.

[watching-your-six]

Ah yes, that is what we've discussed before, I guess I could never really believe that there were handlers who did nothing for their recruits. 

Everyone actually not just you, I've had my moments in there - and it really is not easier for handlers. Anyway - enough about that. Is your shoulder really still hurting? It's been a long time already - Division should have been more sure that it isn't permanent.

[watching-your-six]

What would you do if Doyle disappeared one day without any notice?

I would be concerned, and without a doubt would go and ask Olivia about it.Given the circumstances of Division, I may get to the bottom of it if there’s something amiss.

[watching-your-six]

Doyle: Unbelievable Revelation || Solo

Location: Division, Mensa

Time Frame: Two weeks after Amanda started-

Word Count:  806

He grinned, after almost a week or so of making her both unsure and curious, Doyle couldn't help but take pity on her. After all, she did seem to actively want to find him - why, he did not know. But he cared to know at least soon enough. That was why, one time when she seemed to have finished her training- something that he usually saw handlers do - usually only newcomers, he saw how many Amanda was taking into consideration, in short - the guards - such as him, had a lot to do to get back into work and place the equipment where it was needed. 

As he watched, he was not so surprised (although he wanted to be) when Amanda did reach into the equipment and made quick work of putting back where the things should be... of course like any other handler she should have just left the things there and he like any other guard would fix it for her. Sighing with a small smile on his face he made quick work of being bold something that a guard should never do - and made contact with her hand as it reached one of the weights.

"Let me." he said simply, his voice seeping through one that he had always used, always used when with her. He almost laughed at rhe sound of it, and at the sound of the female handler catching her breath. He chuckled, as he felt the hand underneath him turn lax and fall. "Hello Magnus." he said again as he straightened up and waited for her to turn around.

----

"You..." she said her face not knowing on whether to cry or smile, and so she turned into both, it was... unreal, and yet it was something that she had been thankful for - her eyes brimmed with tears, to hell with who she was right now, this... this was a piece of her past she had no idea was here, or maybe she did but she didn't try hard enough to find.. amounting it to paranoia rather than possibility. Doyle made one move towards her and wrapped her in an embrace. A quick one before any other consequence of being in Division would turn him into an acidic mess.

"Hello." he said again, this time using the voice he normally had around Division -and around his past. "I... I don't know what to say." she said, her feeling of after workout starting to burn again within her. "Hmm," he replied as if thinking, although she had a feeling he already knew the answer. "Well, I know you always have a good cup of tea in your room - so why not that?" he said as he smiled. He would probably pay quite a lot to the other guards and Connor, but he could chalk it up as something - after all, he had been a good air force cadet - and Division guard. 

"Oh of course, of course -" she said as she turned around to leave, but then stopped as she remembered that there were things to still fix. Doyle only shook his head. "I'll be done with this quick, I'll still be there just as the tea turns hot." he smiled at her. Surreal feeling of wonder and pain swept through the handler as she tried to smile back and turned around completely- she would have stayed to help, but the fact was - there was him. It was Doyle- and yes just.. Doyle... someone she never expected in all her life to see at least not until she was dead and in heaven, or hell.

Amanda felt like the world would have swallowed her up and she still wouldn't believe that it was him.

 It was the cadet.

The cadet that had said was dead, dead because he was a traitor - or was at least framed to be, if any of whichever side of the rumour was to be listened to.

Still, she had known this cadet, shared good moments with him, good tea- and she couldn't help but feel that there was a part of her thoroughly concerned for him, after all, she was his mentor of sorts back then. He had the special treatment from her before- way way back, and it was partially her fault for his supposed death.

It was all a little too much to handle for the handler. Quickening in her steps, she made herself get to her room, maybe she could shower fist and dress accordingly, dress similarly to before? Maybe she was overthinking it, or maybe.. maybe...

How many times would she have to speculate to believe that he was there? Shaking her head at her own inability to focus, Amanda took one more deep breath... one more before entering her room- and focusing on the fact that now, she actually wasn't that alone anymore.

[watching-your-six]

Doyle: Unexpected Curiousness || Solo

Location: Division - all around

Time Frame: A few days when Amanda started-

Word Count: 760

Flying in on something half across the United States for work was something not so terribly new to any person who was working and had meetings in other states. For Amanda, a part in the air force had that kind of blessing and curse. Blessing because at least she had a good seat, a good plane and a friend in the form of a pilot and camaraderie, curse because she would also be of course getting the same kind of unfortunate hangover due to the plane. Not that she was prone to it oh no, she enjoyed the air above, but ones body was ones body and it becomes hard to try and stop something the body wants to do- in this case - to have a jet lag and possible migraine.

This time though it was all different for the to be handler - granted that she was briefed thoroughly by the amount of texts in front of her this time, her flight was accompanied by a well class - jet. One that was not so different from her normal plane and yet was terrible different as well. The fact that she did have texts to read sort of made it easier. But not as much as she would have been comfortable about. This was because of Division - and her now new tie to it.

By the time she did start to be in Division, she did expect that things would not be easy - as such, it was no surprise that she had to grapple her way through somehow - acting more like a "recruit" or what they call it than a proper handler. Maybe it was possible a learning stone. In the first few days of her being a handler, it was.. filled with a sort of apprehension at her so called recruits and everyone else. To be honest to herself, the place seemed like home, with it's metal walls and serious people - but the clothing was of course different, the faces were entirely younger, more somber, if she was honest with herself, Division didn't feel like a good place at all, at least -- if one looked at the non-technical aspect of it, because even her own technological side bubbled in excitement to see the very advancements this organization would be able to share with her.

As such, it was one of those days wherein she would be by herself, looking around for her recruits, she was lucky sometimes that there was someone who was there for her - more like, they probably took pity on their female handler against those of men that were already there, but then again, she didn't mind... things would get better somehow. Soon enough it did... as she sat alone at the mensa, wondering what her life would be like - she caught a very familiar tone, a tone that she hadn't heard for so many years but it still struck her as a feeling from home.

It wasn't a good feeling though, it was almost a feeling of both dread and even her heart felt like clenching as a result. To be honest with herself, it was quite too much to bear to just think about it. Throwing the rest of her meal into the designated area, she wondered if she just heard that voice in passing - but then she did find herself not going back to her room, rather she went to find that source of the voice, curious as to why it felt like she needed that small semblance of anchor. If it was something she was right about internally, and yet wrong once she sees the answer - and then she would at least be at peace with herself that it was nothing but just her own mental exhaustion and apprehension. But if she was right... then she would just have to suck it up somehow.

It was that easily that the voice she was starting to trail onto slowly disappeared into the air, as if it knew she was there - or maybe it was a sort of paranoia on her part. Still, she wouldn't quit that quickly, at the same way that maybe she shouldn't be investigating this hastily as well. With a sigh she turned around and went back to her room, one that definitely needed a little bit more of a homely touch. Unknown to her of course, that someone was also was watching, one leg up the wall and a smile of sorts on his face.

[watching-your-six]

I don't know whether to laugh at or scold them -

[emma-leigh-carick]

  Ugh, that sounds like too much work. Why can’t they give me one alias to stick too. There’s no way I’m gonna be able to remember all of that.

I haven’t seen her either. She’s been… busy or something, I guess. I don’t like Spanish. My mom used to call it the poor people’s language. I don’t believe her or anything, but I still understand less than most people around here.

[watching-your-six]

Division will at least tell you what you need when you get there - I don't suppose you always use your Southern accent in Washington yes? If we were to do a mission there you would be known as something else, and so on and so forth. 

Spanish is the easiest, but I understand why you say it's the poor people's language. All I can tell you is that it might be true and the stereotype now, but back then they were the powerful ones, in a few years, or even in a hundred they might be powerful again. You don't have to know a lot, conversational would work or even in your case - a few 'cute' like Spanish words in the right company would bring you there easier.

I... I also have a question for you, I hope you don't mind.

[watching-your-six]

I don't know whether to laugh at or scold them -

[valentinaabernathy]

  Ha! You should have seen some of my first language things. But yeah, you wouldn’t want anyone cancelled because of chinese. 

It’s not like there’s much to report, but yes. Also, I have been avoiding the doctor.

[watching-your-six]

I sometimes wish you were my recruits sooner and I would have helped you. I don't know what Tristan did but at least it's all done now.

Doctor - doctor as in the psychiatrists? Or is there some other medical condition I should be aware of?