Wicked Little Town {Part 1}
You know the sun is in your eyes... and hurricanes and rains and black and cloudy skies...
The Singer could not place all the faces from the crowd, her devoted admirers, the men who always came and then always went. It was as if she knew them all from some faded dream, or was it a nightmare? There were too many here tonight in the audience to count. Nearly a hundred or more. One would think the singer would feel lucky to have so many willing to give their affections, but really in the end she felt like a whore...
He wasn’t among them of course. Never around anymore. Had he ever been? That elusive gentlemen. The only one she could ever love... the one that got away before she could ever really have him. Maybe she should feel so proud to be the object of hundreds of hungry eyes. There were too many men to browse over with her gaze, all sorts, none that appealing... not to her. It was tiring really, and trying, all familiar but none quite recognizable.
The Little Man was here. She spotted him in his usual seat, away from the others and by himself. Lonesome he always was with sad eyes and a sunken expression. She smiled regardless. How she enjoyed his company. At first she thought The Little Man was Him, however he was too short, much like herself. Then she had wondered if The Little Man was her Father, but he was in fact too young. It was odd how he resembled her dear old Pa, as she did, as well as resembled Him at times. The one she could never forget.
Tonight she would ignore all of her admirers, those young and old, rich and working class, kind and cruel, and she would spend her time with the man who came to see her often. She never could remember his name. The Singer never had been too good at recalling things, nor bothered to at times. After a song, one whose lyrics made no sense to her, The Singer left the poorly lit stage, ignoring the onlooking eyes of lovers she’d rather forget, and had for a good while. Nothing appeared to her as it had moments ago, but regardless she approached The Little Man’s table.
He stood quickly but always was hesitant to embrace her. They shook hands instead and he was very gentle about it. She couldn’t quite remember if he was a soldier, or a doctor, or a writer or detective. Maybe he was all the above. For a brief moment he resembled Him too much, but that quickly passed and she was glad to see herself show through again. After getting her chair for her and lighting her cigarette, The Little Man took his place across from her, his mannerism returning to that of a nervous school lad, one that was both enthralled yet afraid of her.
“Did I ever tell you how he and I first met?... No?... It might be boring to you but I’ll continue anyway...”
You’re running up and down that hill. You turn it on and off at will... there’s nothing here to thrill or bring you down...
She was a teenager when she went to work for his family, they both were, and even though it was obvious his mother wouldn’t approve of the love she thought they shared, the young maid was not deterred in her efforts. It happened first the night she found him lurking in that room above the library, that almost all white study, one which must have been his study when he was younger. She herself didn’t have a private tutor or governess, and came from a very poor household.
He was tall and the most handsome young man she had obsessed over, the fantasy in her mind not adding up to the reality she was momentarily ignoring. To her he had come to that place and called her up, even if he never made a sound, she believed he willed her to him. They were meant to be together so why wouldn’t this occur. When she found him there she didn’t recognize that he was off in his own head, remembering something awful that befell him there, mistaking his blank stare and unusual quietness as him being ready for more than just her insisting glances and unrequited affections.
She bore herself to him and in his state in that terrible place from his past he let her take him over, never once uttering a single word until afterwards, and unable to fully look at his servant who’s affections he had unintentionally accepted. He tried to explain to her what went on in the white room but the maid was so full of her own fantasies that she barely heard a word he said. Not until he explained it could never happen again. She refused to believe him, forgetting he even suggested such a silly notion.
After the first unexpected child he kept her from being fired, taking the baby girl to the nearby orphanage and making sure she was adopted by a good family. He had the money to do so and he promised his mother that it wouldn’t happen again... that the young lady was just innocent and lovesick... he hadn’t realized yet how delusional she actually was...
... and if you’ve got no other choice, you know you can follow my voice. Through the dark turns and noise of this wicked little town...
Later that night The Singer found herself being escorted by someone she couldn’t quite remember. They were both dressed for a party, maybe the Opera or something fancy like that. Had she been out? Her memory wasn’t the best and The Little Man and his visit, and their conversation which frustrated him, was the farthest thing from her mind. It was night and it must have rained because the pavement and brick on the side of buildings that seemed to never end was wet. She found herself being led from a lovely light blue Rolls to some extravagant hotel, the stranger putting a hand on the small of her back. One of her many admirers possibly. Who else? Suddenly there was a wave of guilt and fear that overcame her. She was missing something. Someone...
The Singer couldn’t move herself anymore and was being controlled by some outer force, a need, a darkness that she had never been able to kill within herself. As her company led her into the hotel she felt a set of eyes on her, and looking quickly over to her right she caught a brief glimpse of a young boy, more so a silhouette. A painful memory that opened the Pandora’s Box of her soul. She couldn’t go to him. She had lost control and now she was only theirs and never would again be anything for herself or the child... His son.
