UH OH.

WAYLAND NIESER well, to be somebody i guess i'd actually have to know somebody and to know somebody i'd have to talk to somebody and to talk to somebody i'd have to be somebody 18 YEARS OLD. your albatross, let it go, let it go. your albatross, shoot it down, shoot it down. when you just can't shake the heavy weight of living.

[waylandnieser]

when did you know you were in love with vivi?

Two seconds ago probably. 

[waylandnieser]

how did you and Vivi finally get together?

You know, how every couple gets together. We fell down a well and got stuck there for several days and over the course of that time we realized we’d get out of there faster if we were a couple. 

[waylandnieser]

if you and Vivi broke up, do you think you could ever be friends again?

No, of course not. Our many years of friendship would just POOF. 

[wesofmaldonia]

I have no idea why the Sexual Health & Wellness club decided to appoint me as head Love Expert this year…Maybe it’s cause I’m #engaged and #greatatlove. But anyway, I made this post to say that I am very bad at this, please help. Especially now that there’s no GOT DAMN survey to go off of. I don’t like being Cupid, and that’s saying something because I’m good at everything. 

[waylandnieser]

Dude, who better than you? You’re the smoothest guy I know when it comes to love and romance. We don’t need no survey! Just go with your instincts! And also maybe don’t pair me with Sage! 

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Conrad: Magic would be nice, I'd like to teleport too and from places in an instant. Yeah, I wouldn't want to try it either, but mostly because I couldn't be cooped up underground all that time just trying to get gems out of walls.

Conrad: Not quite, but also yes? It's just that I have a friend who's a fairy, and for whatever reason her being 2 inches tall and unable to speak to humans didn't really register when I heard about the barrier;I wonder how she's dealing..

Conrad: Anyway, you're right about flying too, I'd love to be able to do that without a plane.

Wayland: TELEPORTATION, DUDE? I didn't even think about that one. That'd be so boring. Literally so grateful our dads didn't like, force us to do that.

Wayland: I'm sure they're fine. They can talk to each other and that's what matters.

Wayland: I know, right? And it's not like I got to go on the field trip to Pixie Hollow so I feel like of anyone we deserve to.

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Bobbie: I think I'd endure the inconvenience for a magic power, y'know? Like Meadow has her animal stuff which I'm 100% jealous of ALWAYS, but my friend Ivy? She can talk to animals AND UNDERSTAND THEM. Like??? I would gladly be small enough to fit in someone's ear to be able to do that AND FLY! Like for our senior trip we went to Neverland and Pixie Hollow and stuff and got to actually fly around and see how rainbows were made and I'm telling you right now, if I could do that forever, no offense, but I 1000000% would leave your asses behind and do it. Limited questions about it, lol. Also, the fact that your question is how would you order pizza and not how would you eat the pizza is how I know your priorities are in check, lol. Where there is a pizza, there's a way, lol. Nah, I think Clara is harmless for the most part, tbh. Like could she do something? Maybe. But I've gotta assume she likes being here more than at home and if she did something there would definitely be some consequences from FGM. DUDE! SHE'S PURPLE AND FUCKING SICK LOOKING! Yes, I know that sounds weird and I didn't stare Too Much when I first saw her...true form, I guess? But I looked a little Too Long and she's so pretty and awesome looking! If I could be her best friend just for that reason, I would be, but I'm pretty sure she'd see right through it, so I can't, but dude. If there is ever another awesome purple genie girl that needs a best friend, send her my way because I will make her the best fucking friendship bracelet. XD

Wayland: See how RAINBOWS are made? That's cool. I wouldn't blame you if you did, so. Of course where there's a will there's a way with pizza. It might just take them a lot longer to eat it, but I'm sure even fairies have a hard time stopping when it comes to pizza. Isn't it weird though that no one HAS done anything evil? Like I guess they aren't evil people, but like if I was Gwen I'd definitely be fucking some shit up right now. You're going to have to share Genie BFFS because I also want one. Sorry, Vivi, you're being replaced by a FUCKING GENIE!!!!!!

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Vivi: NO IT'S NOT! ALSO IT COULD'VE JUST BEEN A LADY SECRET! I DIDN'T KNOW!

Vivi: Well duh, but like he might be stupid! He did propose to Izzie and like immediately break up like she's not an anxious little weirdo! Cuz duh! The fact that she's not accidentally married yet to one of Team Terrible is SHOCKING! I really hate your nickname for him 🙄 Connie would probably be like ummm something really unconventional? Like at sea? In a hot air balloon? To an Elvis impersonator? The possibilities are truly infinite!

Wayland: I'M SO TIRED OF LADY SECRETS! I DON'T HAVE GUY SECRETS!

Wayland: Ohhhhhh that's why Izzie was like Thirstin all of of the Beach event we held that I cannot remember the name of. They'd probably hold the wedding in that weird underground cellar they're throwing parties in but it's actually like a cult initiation. Well, that's who he is to me. Good ole Corn Chip. TO and Elvis impersonator or BY and Elvis impersonator that is a very important difference.

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Izzie: I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. 🥰🥰🥰 His vibes are weird, yes, to anyone who’s not in love with him, I’m sure. But it’s exactly that about him that makes me so happy! It’s like we were made just for each other to truly “get”.

Wayland: Are you thinking more long engagement or like...tomorrow marriage? His vibes are like the sabertooth tiger from Ice Age mixed with the Trix rabbit and I stand by that. Well, I guess I'm happy for you then!

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Conrad: As much as I love my life as it is, I do feel a little left out, yes.

Conrad: Oh God, I hadn't even thought about the fairies. Well no, that's not true, I remembered we have them and that they'd be affected, but I just.. never mind.

Wayland: Like I could have a mermaid tail right now! Or like...I don't know be able to do magic or something. I'm pretty sure my only advantage in this magic barrier would be in a gem mine. But even that I couldn't do...because of the dirt and my congestion.

Wayland: Just remembered they'd be two inches tall and unable to communicate with anyone but other fairies? Yeah, that does suck and I feel for them, but FLYING!

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Vivi: UH. IT WASN'T LIKE A FULL CONFIRMATION! IT WAS JUST VAGUE ENOUGH THAT I WASN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING.

Vivi: Idk man, they've been broken up about as long as they'd been together so like that's one reason? SAME? I for sure would've put all my money on Bobbie getting married on accident, and you or Connie getting shotgun married, WAY WAY WAY before IZZIE!

Wayland: JUST VAGUE ENOUGH IS ENOUGH TO TELL ME!

Wayland: I guess so, but Izzie is a catch so like he’d be stupid to say no. I was gonna say Bobbie too! Dude, a shot gun wedding would totally be me. I don’t know about Corn Chip though, like what’s his style? Is he a church dude? A beach guy?

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Izzie: Because he proposed to me four months ago and I freaked out and almost ended us forever because of it but then I realized I was so wrong and decided to win him back and I did! I'm getting married! :D

Wayland: Wow! That’s...wow! You sure about L’ogan though? Dude kinda gives me weird vibes sometimes. I’m happy for you though, if you’re happy!

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Vivi: WOAH. actually you might wanna scream about me being a fake friend again cuz I think I knew that was happening? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID THO?

Wayland: HOW COULD YOU KNOW AND NOT TELL ME?

Wayland: I’m assuming he said yes? I don’t know why he wouldn’t, but WILD. I just didn’t guess Izzie as the first of us to get married.

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Vivi: Why would I? They like ME and your clothes probably stink !

Wayland: I want to scream about how much of a fake friend you are but we have to put that on hold because

Wayland: IZZIE PROPOSED TO L’OGAN

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Izzie: I'm so grateful that we're not really affected. If I had to propose to L'ogan as anything other than what he fell in love with, it'd be SO NERVE-WRACKING.

Izzie: oh btw, I proposed to L'ogan.

Wayland: YOU PROPOSED?

Wayland: WHY?

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Bobbie: I want to fly SO BAD. And honestly, being two inches tall doesn't sound so bad? The jingling is what would get me. Like, can you imagine what THAT must be like? Waking up two inches tall with wings again with no warning and no way easy way to communicate? THE WORST. I'd need to scream to someone without having to like, jump on my phone, y'know?! With the weirdness going on with Nico, Noli and Layland??? I don't think testing his godly powers would be The Best idea, lmao. BRUH! THE GENIES! I'M SO INTO THE GENIES! Do I like evil hags that try to kill a girl for being beautiful and a better person than you? No, that shit's terrifying and Too Real. But this fairy/genie/God/mermaid/flying/full on magic power magic stuff? YES, PLEASE. Gimme more of that.

Wayland: I guess it doesn’t sound too bad until you have to do stuff with human sized things. Like how would you order pizza? Wait, what weirdness is going on with them? I’m so out of the loop on everything. I feel like we don’t really have to worry about any of those. I mean, you don’t think Clara would actually DO anything, right? I just want to see Pari in person dude. Like does she have legs or is it just smoke at the bottom? I NEED TO KNOW!

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Vivi: Speak for yourself, I currently have birds doing my laundry and a bunny making my bed. I think I am in hell, but I'm not mad.

Wayland: And you haven’t sent them over to my cottage to do my chores? Rude.

[waylandnieser]

TEXT || DWARF KIDS + VIVI

Bobbie: DUDE! THIS!! YES!!! I love everything about my living arrangements, it is the complete opposite of boring always, but then this barrier came down and now??? I can hear my neighbors fluttering and Nico and Remy and Tally are living with a literally GOD, which like, they did already, but now you can TELL. And Ivy is the size of my pinkie finger and flying around and like??? THAT'S SO COOL! We're super cool, but why could we not be glowing fairy God cool?! XD

Wayland: How cool would it be to fly? I know being two inches tall would be HELLA inconvenient, but like...FLYING THOUGH. Dude, tell them to like test out his god powers and video it. I need to see him like, chop a tree in half with his bare hands or something. Or the genies! They look so cool!