true posters can't exist

she/her | other blog @escherflesh | for business inquiries please just email wildbow directly

[wbcannibalgf]

downloaded a scion tracker app thinking maybe i could be one of those people chasing after him around the globe but it just tells me when hes ovulating

[wbcannibalgf]

Hello, Wildbow Cannibal Girlfriend. This is John McCrae. I came across your blog in my free time today and it pained me greatly to find a post you made recently calling my webserials bad and I quote, "responsible for 9/11". I began to cry, because I have anxiety about my writing. You have truly hurt an innocent 30 or 40 year old man who wants nothing more but to write and be happy. I hope you consider your actions in the future, as I am still crying because of you. Thank you, and goodbye.

wildbow hi im so glad youre here. we can lay blame for various tower related tragedies at each others feet all day long but theres a more urgent matter that needs your attention: there are people misconstruing facts about your serials for the purpose of "shit posts".

now im not a lawyer but i believe i speak for all of them when i say you need to start suing right now or its fucking over. they probably dont even know how wrong they are. im sure its been eating at you.

you need to sue and more importantly you need to make them understand. no "wormbler" post should go without a certified wildbow fact check. with every website under your watchful eyes we can make the world make sense again

if it makes you feel any better im also crying now. i get very emotional about justice

[wbcannibalgf]

Social Media Posts By Deceased Slaughterhouse Nine Member Hatchet Face Have Surfaced After Users Posthumously Identified Account

[wbcannibalgf]

i spit out the first evil legend clone and the crowd goes neutral on gays. i spit out a second one and they start using taylor hebert words

[wbcannibalgf]

ok but the wildbow paracruise is still on right

[wbcannibalgf]

[wbcannibalgf]

aborted wormblogger gf

[yuricatsgirl-deactivated2025111]

what ever happened to famous wormblogger wbcannibalgf? I remember my childhood, we sat around the fire as she recounted stories of her mannequin divorce.... those were the days.....

[wbcannibalgf]

[wbcannibalgf]

i have developed a suite of anti-relaxation techniques that i employ whenever im in a rough spot to make a trigger event more likely

[wbcannibalgf]

any time im confined or physically restrained i immediately start thinking about how much everyone i know hates me so i dont get stuck with a boring ass mover power

[keighthundred]

So I was on the bike earlier today, and some guy was on the leaderboards named Jack Slash, and I'm not joking when I say this: I stared at it for a good, like, three minutes straight. Like I was just stunlocked in my room giving it the fucking Kubrick stare, man. "It's not really him"? Yeah, no shit, brother, you think a guy that busy has time to hit the bike every morning at two hundred watts? First of all, he doesn't need the exercise. Dude is always going outside and touching grass, and maybe doing some other stuff I don't really wanna touch on right now.

And secondly? I don't know, man, he's got fucking Bonesaw cyber legs or something, he'd probably be doing ten times that wattage just based on the raw kinematics. Which would be cheating, by the way. Okay, speaking of cheating, you know who is one hundred percent actually on the leaderboards? Defiant.

🤨

Bro, what the fuck are you doing, you're literally a cyborg, why the hell are you getting on the bike every morning just to mog us normies who still gotta worry about eating and shitting and mortality and the human condition? Don't you have some kind of instant exercise mechanism where you tap a few keys and *boop boop boop* you've exhausted your glycogen stores in two point five nanoseconds?

I thought NEPEA-5 was supposed to give power back to the everyman but nooooo, it turns out guided scenic bike rides are legally exempt, I gotta deal with being in the bottom fiftieth percentile cause we live in a world where half the motherfuckers are out there hitting DAILY records using power-assisted cyber-doping

[wbcannibalgf]

[skitter-queen]

altpower taylor AU where she is the beatles. the trio shoves all four of them in the locker and they all trigger. they fight leviathan and stuff

[skitter-queen]

you cant call it taylor in name only because her name isnt taylor its john paul george and ringo

[cpericardium]

Everyone in the Triumvirate (including Hero) is queer but Legend is the only one who made a big deal out of it

[cpericardium]

"Legend ended homophobia" is one oft-cited thing I just cannot buy, sorry! Best illustrated with a visual aid:

[skitter-queen]

wormverse being significanty less homophobic than our reality makes taylor seem even more bigoted by comparison, which is funny

[wbcannibalgf]

Homophobia Taylor, who lives in a locker & says over 10000 slurs each day,

[wbcannibalgf]

i work at the slug milking branch of cauldron and every time i visit another department theyre just watching contessa gopro footage and eating popcorn. starting to think we might be a fake conspiracy

[58462956-deactivated20250604]

I want to do a series of polls, and for this I need information. Reblog if you consider yourself a part of wormblr.

[wbcannibalgf]

i have developed a suite of anti-relaxation techniques that i employ whenever im in a rough spot to make a trigger event more likely

[brocktonbay]

credit to @wbcannibalgf for the ur caption