Shit My Friends Say

My friends and I are always talking about how we need a scribe. This is the next best thing to paying someone to do it for us.

[we-r-ridic]

Of course we're playing this map, it's hard and you guys always lose.

Katie, just rigging Mario Kart again.

[we-r-ridic]

James: What are you doing?

Katie: Rapping!

James: Oh, I thought you were sneezing.

[we-r-ridic]

Stephanie: Thank you, Coach James.

James: I'm terrible at parallel parking, I can't believe you took that advice.

[we-r-ridic]

I don't know who's house it was but I fell asleep on the floor.

James.

[we-r-ridic]

I have other things to do. People are dying in drone strikes but I have a fantasy team to draft.

Logan.

[we-r-ridic]

Shut up, logic and physics. Let me live my life.

James to Stephanie and Katie.

[we-r-ridic]

Who are we playing? Detroit? Fuck you! You're bankrupt, how do you even have a job?

Katie, proof Boston sports fans have no mercy.

[we-r-ridic]

I was watching him pour my drink and I was just thinking 'drunk... drunker... I'm fucked.'

Samantha.

[we-r-ridic]

Stephanie: Are you high?

Evan: Off Candy Crush!

[we-r-ridic]

Good move, Evan!

Evan, to himself.

[we-r-ridic]

Evan: It's so good though.

Stephanie: I believe you but we all have different tastes.

Evan: Ummmmm some are better than others.

[we-r-ridic]

Stephanie: Honey, can you do me a favor? Can you go down in my basement for me? Hang on, let me get you a knife. You might need a weapon.

Evan: WHAT are you asking me to do?!

[we-r-ridic]

Katie: You should be a motivational speaker.

James: I was talking about contract killing, but okay.

[we-r-ridic]

Get out of here, snail!

James.

[we-r-ridic]

You can't put lava in your mouth.

James.

[we-r-ridic]

proof they're sisters

Stephanie: Which one did you like better? Mexico or the Bahamas?

Twig: I like Jamaica.

[we-r-ridic]

I'm just a dead sack of flour.

Stephanie to Evan.