if i look back, i am lost
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
Today's Document
hello vonnie
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Stranger Things
Discoholic 🪩
Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
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@wearethe-masseffect
[ UPDATE ]
[[ Wanting to come back here soon, especially since I’m really getting into the SW fandom.... Maybe start owning up to my words and promo’ing in as many space-fandoms as I can get my greedy lil hands on?
[[ Heh, we’ll see~ ]]
[ HIATUS ]
[[ Hopefully just a short one from this point on... I realized that I’m not sure if I explained it, but-? My laptop is still dead from an “overheating” problem it’s not having. Pretty much everything I had for this blog (namely icons) and a shitton of my other blogs? All on that one laptop. At the time, I didn’t have a flashdrive, so everything on there is original. I don’t have an external harddrive for it, so nothing is able to be removed from it right now.
[[ And that’s why I’ve been absent. Even though I don’t use the icons that much, it still really bothers me to not have them...and while Caroline Shepard’s were taken from posts, I had to crop Camila’s myself. Which really doesn’t make me feel any better that my laptop is down and unusable right now.
[[ I still do want to make a return on here- probably iconless until I get them back- but for today... I need a break. ]]
[ I have my dad’s laptop this weekend~! Getting to replies. U w U ]
fictional kiss things that end me
being unable to open their eyes for a few moments afterward
one small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other
pressing their foreheads together while kissing
speaking normally, then after the kiss their voice is hoarse
guys furrowing their brow when kissing passionately
staring at the other’s lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in
running their thumb over the other’s lips
when they lean forward a fraction as if to kiss the other person, then realize they shouldn’t and pull back to stop themselves
ripping the other away - “no we shouldn’t” - but when they kiss them again they moan and hold them close
one sliding their hand into the other’s hair slowly
their entire body freezing for a second when their love kisses them
accidentally being forced inches apart from each other, staring at each other’s lips, and just before they kiss someone pulls them back apart
when one stops the kiss to whisper “I’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more
a hoarse whisper “kiss me”
then licks their lips and says “please”
Also:
following the kiss with a series of kisses up to suckle an earlobe
following the kiss with a series of kisses down the neck
lightly running the very tip of the tongue around the outline of the lips with darting touches before actually kissing
raking a hand through the hair and getting a good handful to pull the other person closer (before or during the kiss)
starting with a kiss meant to be gentle, ending up in devout passion
softly moaning into the kiss
smiling just before or during the kiss
kissing tears away
kissing at laughlines/crow’s feet/frownlines
kissing pouty lips
lightly running fingers up along the neck while kissing
bringing up the hands to cup the other person’s face while kissing
slowly letting their fingers twine together while kissing softly
a huge smile on face(s) when the kiss ends
a gentle “i love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss
…. I like fictional kisses, mk?
also: •jawline kisses •Eskimo kisses •when someone kisses the other person’s hand(s) •shoulder kisses •cheek kisses •when one person’s face is scrunched up, and the other one kisses their lips/nose/forehead •that thing where someone turns into an unexpected kiss, like there were turning around and the other person was just super close •accidental kisses that turn into a giggling fit •kissing eyelids to show reverence •top of head kisses •when one person says “move away if you don’t want this” and the other person moves in for the kiss •height difference kisses where one person has to bend do wn and the other is on their tippy toes •kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap •awkward fumbling kisses where their both so excited that it’s sloppy and teeth clash •kisses where a person punctuates every word with a chaste kiss •kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing •KISSES
You got me talkin in my sleep
Raise your voice and scream in the face of injustice, they cannot put this fire, your fire, out.
“Oh great, I’m the other Ryrder. Damn it.” She punched her sister’s arm playfully, before offering her hand to Vetra. “Wouldn’t have doubted dad had somethin’ to do with that.”
Flo smiled, but it only showed her gritted teeth. Dad and her never got along well, she played nice around mom but…when SAM was made and they all lost their footing. She never really forgave him.
“Nice to meet you Vetra- hope you’ve been givin’ my sister flack.”
“Don’t worry, spend enough time around us and you’ll be upgraded to Pathfinder’s twin,” Vetra teased with a laugh, taking Flo’s hand and shaking it. Camila shook her head, making the dramatics take a step up by resting her thumb and index finger on the bridge of her nose. “Nice to meet you, too. And don’t worry, I definitely do.”
“She does,” Camila confirmed the second Vetra was done speaking, deadpan for a moment before she looked up at the turian woman with an arched brow. “And that’s why her sister is my favorite.”
“Hey, you didn’t pick wrong, that way!” Vetra burst up laughter, patting the Pathfinder’s shoulder. “I don’t think you’ve met her yet, Flo, but my sister Sid works in Operations. Who knows, maybe you two will get along as well as she does with Cami.”
“So! I love this conversation, but the worlds are crying out for our blessings, so let’s get moving...!” Happy as she was for her sister to be making friendly with ol’ Vet, Camila was far too hyped on the thought of showing off planets to her twin sibling. Besides, Eos was quite a bit away! Sooner they go, the better... So that’s why she placed her hands behind their backs and started pushing them along the walkway to the Tempest.
He can only look up to her before he’s leaning toward again, head tucked in his arms on the tabletop. The quarian stayed like that, a high-pitched noise emitting while he wailed, until nothing more came out, save for the occasional whine.
Veetor eventually calms his breathing, body not as shaky as he sits up, arms against his chest. “I’ve been waiting for a dead man to come for almost a year.” It’s said out loud, but mainly to affirm himself that it’s fact. “A comm tower on Palaven… And nobody told me? We were friends, good good friends, didn’t that count?”
He sniffles, nodding before looking to Shepard again. “Yes, I, uhm.. I’ll remember that. That you. Sorry about this, I…. I’ve never lost anybody I was close to before. I just… I don’t know, I thought maybe he was having trouble getting in touch, stuck somewhere, or something.” Veetor blinks a few times. “I’m going to have to call my doctor soon. Can’t be thinking like this, no, don’t like the bad thoughts.” He shakes his head side to side. “Not like me.”
“That’s what troubles me, too. How could they not announce it...?” It bothers her; people should know when others are lost. To mourn and honor them, as they deserve. The war against the Reapers took so much out of everyone, took so many lives... Should they be granted the ability to take the memories of those people, too? Hell. No.
“It’s fine, Veetor. I... I understand. Maybe not exactly from your place, with your experiences, but I do have an understanding regardless.” Suddenly, her throat is tight and painful, eyes hot as she pushes down her own tears. Damn, this had been just a meet up between familiar faces... How did it get to this point so fast?
“I...saw most of them go out. Mordin was up in that tower, but I watched it explode. Thane passed as I stood by his side. Even then, I still sit here and have a lapse in...memory, I guess; I expect that any day, I might see them again. No, it’s wishful thinking. That’s what it really is.” There’s a bitter note to her voice that she ignores, continuing on, “I thought I’d die in this war, to be honest with you. I was pretty ready for it. But now that I’m still living, even with some faults from the shitshow that was.... I don’t know what to do. How do you live a life you were ready to throw away?”
Caroline sighs, hand rubbing at her arm. She didn’t know exactly when, but her arms had crossed slightly on the table, right holding onto the left and...mostly just feeling the texture of her jacket. Subconsciously trying to soothe herself with the feeling and movement on the skin below. Humans, right?
“I’m no therapist, but.... I’m getting a damn good insight on what life is like after a hell like that. Here... Sending relevant contact info of mine to you. Whenever you like, you can stop by. I don’t get much guests, anyways.”
I was originally going to make this post about Jaal and how old Earth pop songs were stuck in my head, but... Honestly, now I’m just super emotional, hearing about Lucille Diawara.
I really hope we can make her proud and I’m glad to have a piece of her with us.
Before I go into this vault, lemme just say comparing “then to now” is sorta wild. Then, it was, “A vault? Wow! I wonder what it’s like in there?” Now, it’s, “Oh god, another vault. Yet another thing I can go into and try not to die in.”
What I’m getting at here, is I’m never looking forward to the running for my life from the personification of death behind me.
Me, through tears: You guys are so great.
What he loves about me....... Aah. I’m dying a little here.. He can’t just say things like that!!! Still need to explore Elaadan, but..... I might just go back to Harvaal anyways. Y’know, deal with the Roekaar? Nothing to do with Jaal. Or anything. Of course.
Right... Still need to talk to Drack. And hope Peebee and Vetra aren’t going to ask why I zipped out of Jaal’s room to the meeting room like a bat out of hell. Maybe I can convince them I just didn’t want to keep Addison waiting...? (And then spaced out! Obviously. They’d buy that, right?)
yourmateliam:
There’s a laugh from the male. “I haven’t had it, if it’s anything like the sweet and salty popcorn they made back home, I’ll absolutely try it.” He’s open to trying all new things, hell he’s out here in the middle of a brand new galaxy, he’s got to be open minded. Her maybe is easily a yes in Liam’s book, when they have a minute to pause that is, so far the initiative haven’t been that bad in allowing them some downtime.
He doesn’t mean to look quite so surprised by her wisdom and yet his face belays his emotions in any case. Those raised brows give everything away. The more time he spends with Ryder, the more he sees her grow into her role as pathfinder, he wonders if she even notices herself. “Real deep, pathfinder. Addison would be proud.” is all he says, because he’s a dick but also her friend, any good friend would rag on her despite her insanely hard task. It’s the normal thing to do and hell, they all need normal right now.
“What? Yeah!” He’s turning to face her, getting animated as he explains his theory to her. “So what else do they do but turn into like, I don’t know, alien attack dogs? If we eat them, there’s less for the Kett to use and not only that, we can hope the Kett decide to branch out from assimilating everyone - or whatever - and just made chips instead. Archon’s Chips. Totally easier than sucking up entire species to become the same as you. Nicer too.” He’s finishing, tilting his head in consideration before replying. “Beef, they’d taste like beef but with a weird aftertaste.”
Kosta is shaking his head by the time Ryder has finished, goofy grin on his face. He realises they’re both adults but given the opportunity to be stupid for one freaking minute since he woke up, he’s jumping at the chance. Even if Lexi would be scribbling something damning on his personnel file if she over heard them. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of and I just told you my Kett Chip theor– Oh crap, kettle chips.”
“It totally is, but I daresay better. Just a warning, though... They are really good and you will become an addict. Also, don’t tell Scott when he wakes up. He’d flip out if we got kettle corn without him.” She couldn’t help the small giggle that left her at the sudden memory of days with her brother, goofing around and sharing the treat... Well, more like fighting over who got the bag and who’d get the bowl. (Leading their mother to intervene; both got bowls and nobody got the bag.)
They often made the most of it by trying to outdo each other in aim and catching by throwing the pieces of popcorn at each other. She’d found herself with an ache in her side every time Scott missed, leading to a small, overdramatic performance over the loss of the fallen pieces. (Which he then would try to not let go to waste and would eat it off the floor. Always smacked him in the shoulder for that and called him gross.)
...Okay, but all the internal thoughts aside, she’s gonna give Liam a weird look right now, because he’s inputting suggestions that she’s trying to process now. So by somehow reducing their chances of adopting and raising alien attack dogs....the kett go into the business of making a rival chip company?
All Camila can imagine is the Archon in some vague, Earth-ish clothing and the kett soldiers wearing kett-styled aprons and the whole setup kinda ends up like a cheesy show, within her own mind. The Archon is every bit of the stereotypical villain type, not only after the Remnant now, but also the secret that makes the chips the Milky Way inhabitants make so good.
“Beef chips.... I’m not sure about that, but I guess- if it happened- I might give it a try.” What was the old saying? ‘Don’t knock it ‘til ya try it’? She’ll at least give it a go, if it happens. Big ‘if’. But then Liam totally just ruined her jam.
“Noooooo..... Nooo, that’s the worst. Don’t do this to me, Liam....... I trusted you.” She’s laughing, but doing her best to make it sound more like an odd, pained, dry crying. It’s honestly just making her laugh even more, but she’s doing her best despite the pain of betrayal. Kettle chips.... She hates this. “My last words are going to be ‘Kett-le chips’ and I’m going to haunt you from beyond the grave.”
[[ Hey you guys!! Sorry for being away awhile, but some stuff has been happening... Which sucks, since this blog is so new and I really want to use it more than I’m going to be able to really soon. :/
[[ So my laptop is sorta busted at the moment. It says it’s “overheating” when it’s not. My dad thinks it might be a virus of some kind. Who knows, maybe he’s right! We currently don’t know, but it’s definitely something that’s not letting me use it for too long. What happens is from turning it on, it’s basically on a clock; only a certain amount of time to do things before it black screens. Turning it back on will have it claim “overheating” (despite it barely being lukewarm in one spot) and then it’s a repeat process.
[[ I don’t know when this is going to be fixed, but for now, I hope you guys can be patient with me! I’m going to do my best to keep logging in from time to time to take care of things and reply. ]]
Ryder’s life in a nutshell:
“Sweeeeeet.” Flo laughed, “I am so ready for this, like I didn’t even get to see the Nexus before Archen-douche hijacked the Hyperion.”
Flo always appreciated ship design, she collected models back home- but…she left those behind. Along with pretty much everything else she owned, Flo wanted a fresh start- after becoming a Pariah just like the rest of the Ryder clan.
“So where are we goin’ first sis?”
Flo’s bright orange hair bounced with her movement, “I wanna see all the places you’ve been without me!”
Okay, Camila snorted a little at that one. “Archen”? Sure stepped all over his memory... Not that she’d protest. Could probably use that. The Archon’s legacy was over; the kett, not so much, but that could be worked on. For now, step all over that memory. The history books can do the rest.
“I’m thinking first, a ship tour. Then, planet-wise... I think we’ll grace Prodromos with our presence first. It was my first outpost. I would try to do outpost introductions, but I’d be a liar; I’m itching to take you to Aya for a visit. It’s just...so incredible there! The angaran culture is amazing. Though word of advice from the wise: be wary of the drinks. They have a real kick to them in the flavor area.” As well as something else Camila couldn’t quite figure out. Really made her tasebuds tinge, though.
“For now, it’s time to meet the crew. Most of them are off wandering the Nexus, but Kallo, Suvi, and Lexi usually stay on board. Vetra is close, so she’ll also be here... Or now. Hey, Vet!” The Pathfinder had just gotten the door open when the turian woman had come walking over, a curious glint in her eye.
“The other Ryder, up and around already? You two can’t just be pure human... Have any super strong aliens mix into your bloodlines?”
yourmateliam:
“Isn’t that popcorn with sugar and salt on? I don’t know what types of popcorn they have but they have popcorn and that’s the important thing. Kallo wouldn’t mind, if he does, Gil will definitely do it.” His own imagination is drifting off as he thinks about hot, buttery popcorn and some previously banned vids, none of that alcohol that Drack and Peebee made though - eurck. A night off with the crew. “We have to now. Have to.”
“Mutiny? Please. I don’t want your ship, just your chips.” He’s playfully rolling his eyes at the woman, gently punching her in the shoulder. “But yeah, I’m finding that a whole bunch since I woke up. I woke up the other night in bed, realised how much I missed looking at the stars and the moon. I can still do that, but it’s not our moon and our stars. Didn’t cry so I guess I’m getting used to it.” He’s scratching his beard, definitely not thinking of his parents back home. 600 years and he’s not letting himself dwell too long on what that exactly means about everything he knew before leaving for Andromeda.
Ryder’s pulling him back out of his thoughts, causing him to snort. “Right, exactly, we need to eat them and the best way to eat them? Chi– Well, fries actually, I want fries. Which means we need oil. Which means we need Sunflowers… would they still be called Sunflowers on a planet who’s star isn’t called ‘The Sun’?” He’s frowning as he considers the implications before realising it’s not that important, there’s smarter people than him doing that sort of thinking for them. “Yay, of course! Adhi flavoured chips. Finally put them to good use in a snack.”
“You have a point, but you’re speaking as if you’ve never had it and frankly, friends don’t let friends not try kettle corn. I mean, unless you don’t want to, but you catch my drift.” It wasn’t like she was gonna run around and force people to try it if they hadn’t. It’s damn good, but there’s various reasons for everyone’s choice, so that boils down to...just opinion’s and people’s willingness to try. “Have to, huh...? Hm, hmm, we shall see~” (Translated, which means, “We will, but only after I also mull around and help five people out in the badlands while I’m there. Y’know, just because.”)
He’ll get a soft hum and a tongue stuck out at him for that one, laughing softly at what they’ve got going. Liam’s definitely onto something... The normality of this...it’s almost weird to think that just outside the window, is space. Not only that, but a space that isn’t the one they came from. This? Pure banter between two friends in a relaxed environment; no kett to worry about here. Heck, she wishes more times could be like this. The breather is. well, a breath of relief! Contentment.
“I understand. It’s all so new still... Not quite familiar yet. Maybe it’ll help you? But, when my thoughts go down that path, I just remind myself to give it time. We might always miss what we left, but we’re going to love this place just as much as we did the Milky Way.” ....Was that just her, or was that some deep wisdom? SAM, if you’re listening in, jot that down. That felt really good. Needs to go into some sort of book or something.
“Adhi-flavored chips?? You would!” Camila gave a playful groan and her head rolling back to rest against the back of the couch, mostly faking it all for dramatics. Nah, if anything, she was getting curious on what sort of flavor that was supposed to entail. “...Should I even ask what that flavor would be like?” A beat, then she sighed softly, small smile still on her face. This guy, honestly....
“I have an idea, though. Speaking of sunflowers, consider this... What if we called it the Son? Instead of the Sun? Wordplay. Nobody would hear the difference!” Unless it got translated? Would the wordplay still stand?? ....Hmm. Need to inquire on that to as many races as possible.
