We Are Your Parents Now

Welcome to WAYPN! We are currently on hiatus. Please note that all advice is subjective and that we are not professionals, merely individuals who want to help wherever we can.

[weareyourparentsnow]

I think i'm in a sexually/emotionally abusive relationship. But I am in love with the guy, and I physically can't bring myself to leave him, and i keep making excuses for him. I don't know what to do.

I want you to really look at the relationship and how he acts because if he doesn't want to change while you want this to work because you love him, it's only going to get worse. It could easily get more violent, difficult. A good, healthy relationship shouldn't be anything like that. You don't deserve to be abused in any kind of way, and you need to make yourself realize that. Either he gets help, or you need to leave now because I can guarantee it won't get better if nothing is done. -Aunty Leo

[weareyourparentsnow]

Dear everyone

I would like to apologise

I would like to apologise to the people who have waited for months for us to reply. You came to us for help and we haven't held up our end of the bargain all that well.

I'm sorry to all the people we didn't help.

The problem is that we're empathic people, and we sometimes struggle to read others problems, because we feel helpless in the face of your problems. We simply don't know how to help in some cases.

Therefore, it's probably for the best if we go on hiatus for a little while, but feel free to contact us personally with any questions at all. 

Aunty Leo

Mum

Dad

We all love you so much, and we hope that you stay well during this hiatus

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Hi, okay, so, I was officially diagnosed with depression about a month ago, but I've been showing signs since February (so the diagnosis wasn't much of a surprise). My bests friend, who I've been talking to about what's been going on from the start, just got a girlfriend about a month and a half ago. The day after I was diagnosed, I insinuated to my best friend that I had gotten an official diagnosis and am now seeing a professional, but . . . (1/2)

(2/2) . . . I haven't been able to sit down and talk to them about it because they've been so into their new girlfriend, and can't seem to find time for me. We hardly talk when we do see each other, because their girlfriend always comes over and hogs their attention. It feels like my friend has forgotten about me entirely. I've talked to some other close friends, and they've all been really supportive, but I'm still not sure what to do about my best friend. Help? <3

First off, congratulations on getting an official diagnosis! I'm so proud of you for getting help!

Second of all, I hardly think your friend is doing this on purpose. They may be swept away by the whole "new girlfriend" craze, where all they can focus on is their new partner. 

Try telling them that you need to talk in private, without their girlfriend around. Try to plan the meeting as best as you can, in a coffee shop or something.

Good luck!

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Parents I've enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and I'm going to deploy soon and I am afraid. I joined because I admired the sense of purpose and the structure, but now that I'm actually going to work I'm second guessing myself. Advice?

Take deep breaths, close your eyes and think about why you wanted to enlist in the first place. You're nervous and that's natural, just stay with it and do your best!

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Hello family I am very romantically interested in someone right now but I keep blocking myself from them because I don't think of myself as good enough for them in any aspect and they're really attractive and really perfect and out of my league and ugh how do I amend this

Well, first of all you have to start with yourself. Love yourself. You are a divine being, you're made of stardust and the galaxy bends to your will, you can love whoever you want however you want.

The world is too large, too strange and too wonderful to hold back from anything and who knows, they could be romantically interested in you too, its worth a shot

Believe in yourself and love yourself above all else

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Internet parents heeeelllllp. So my mom and I made a deal that, if I keep my grades a B or better, I can do all sorts of things. Now my mom thinks if I have one missing assignment, I will fail the class, basically. I tell her its stressing me out, she said, word for word, "Oh boo hoo, at least you have a parent who cares about your education". I cant do anything anymore! Is it just me, or is this unreasonable?

Its definitely unreasonable! Try talking to your teacher about it, to maybe make them talk to your mother about it, and explain to her that if you miss an assignment it isn't the end of the world.

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

My parents psychologically damaged me as a child. They said that if I didn't eat the monsters would take me away. Which is why I am a 20 year old girl who is afraid of the dark and I have been sleeping with the blanket over my head for the past 15 years. Can you please just tell me that there are no such things as monsters

There are no such things as monsters, you're gonna be just fine

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Hello internet family, I'm an 18 year old closeted lesbian with a strict Catholic family who frowns heavily on the sin of homosexuality. I'm not sure what to do because I feel as if they find out I'll be at risk of something horrible happening. Should I keep it to myself until I can afford to move out?

Definitely wait until you feel comfortable and safe, dear! -Aunty Leo

[weareyourparentsnow]

Hello previous anon who thinks they're bulimic here. I want help but I don't know where to start. I can't bring myself to tell my dad because I don't think he'll understand and he'll just tell me to stop so I decided I was gonna tell my counselor but he won't let me see her because she has weird hours that interfere with school. I can't do this alone and I need professional help please what do I do

well, try to talk to some of the volunteers over at blahtherapy, its free, and the volunteers usually have at least some experience. I would suggest talking to the professionals, but they do take money for that service (its not a lot but its still money). And if your dad won't let you talk to her, tell her you've got some problems you can't talk with him about, and missing one or two hours of school isn't going to matter in the long run. 

Remember that we are always here for you and we love you a lot. 

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

I've been really depressed lately and I've started becoming really caught up in all the pro-ana things in an attempt to lose weight, I want to talk to someone but I'm to scared, I've stopped eating meals except dinner because we have to eat as a family but I feel so sick of myself

know that you are lovely. Absolutely stunningly lovely. Know that you are loved, people care so much about you, they would go to the ends of the earth and back for you. Know that you can talk to us, we won't judge you. 

And please start eating again. The world won't be any better off if you get sick. Try to avoid pro-ana things, as they are very tempting to look at. If you want to lose weight, please be healthy. Don't try to trick people and say that you're alright. 

We love you so much, and we don't want to lose you

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Lately I have been really self conscious about my weight and the ball is coming up soon and I really want to lose weight but I keep bingeing every time I get stressed (which is always) I have been trying to stop eating breakfast and lunch but it's not going well

First off I would like to say that you will look absolutely wonderful at the ball, no matter your weight. Its primarily about having fun, right? So try to have as much fun as you can!

However, if you're really sure you want to lose weight you should at least go about it the healthy way, alright? 

Instead of not eating, eat when you're hungry and stop when you're not hungry anymore and drink lots of water (have a glass of water before eating, and drink water when you're eating and in general just drink water). Go for a half-hour to an hour long walk each day and listen to nice music while you do it. If you like jogging (which i don't) you can jog instead. 

Please don't jeopardise your health for something that will only last one evening.

I hope it goes well!

Dad 

[weareyourparentsnow]

i have an anxiety disorder, and tomorrow night i have two friends spending the night. thing is, i cant have them here. im too anxious to even think about it and i cant stop crying. i would tell them that im sick or something, but one of the friends coming over also has anxiety, and where this weekend has me falling apart with anxiety, she is seeing it as a coping method. im pretending to be excited but i cant breathe and i cant cancel because of what she needs. what can i do?

I would actually suggest that you talk to them and explain to them that having them over for the weekend is too much for you to handle. You are your first priority, before you can help someone else, you have to help yourself. I know it sounds crude, but it's simply what you have to do.Having anxiety is a pain in the butt, and forcing yourself to do something you're not comfortable with can either make or break you. Your personal health comes before your friends, and if they try to say "But what about me?" and try to guilt you into it, thats emotional abuse, and they may not even be aware of it.

Of course this is only one option. Another is to explain to the person who doesn't have anxiety that they can't come over, and just have the person with anxiety come stay over. 

Try your best to take deep breaths, watch some how its made (its interesting and the narrator never changes pitch) and wait for a little while, try not to think about it too much, before making a decision.

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Hello parents please tell me something comforting that will distract me from feeling anxious about the possible future. You are my favorite parents. Also here is a haiku that I wrote in class for your fridge- I made you a craft; But you live too far away; its the thought that counts?

you're gonna do just fine, the world is rooting for you and your body is working hard every day to make sure that you're alive

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

I think I have an eating disorder. I've been binging and purging and purging all of my meals. I decided to talk to my friend and she thinks I'm overreacting. This has gone on for almost 6 months and I want help but idk if I need it. What do I do?

I definitely do think you need to at least consider getting professional help. Binging and purging at every meal is in fact an eating disorder, and its official name is bulimia. It's actually quite common, and its no good for your body. 

I'm not really sure of the technicalities of it, but when you throw up your body produces more gastric acids, yes acids, and when you throw up regularly these acids ruin your throat and mouth and generally make sure you constantly have bad breath. 

Its also no good in terms of thoughts on future weight gain/loss. Ex-bulimics are usually if not overweight then at least on the heftier side of healthy. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but i think it has something to do with the body storing more fat and nutrients than it needs to because it wants to keep you healthy, and with binging and purging the body never knows when it might need those extra fat cells and nutrients. 

So I definitely think you should consider getting professional help since this has been an ongoing thing for almost six months. Your friend is wrong, you are not overreacting, you do have an eating disorder if you binge and purge every meal.

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

same anon with moving in with gf problem, say everything goes fine, financially i am still good, and everything between us is good, my parents still won't approve but what should i do IF everything happens to go my way

well, then I say do what makes you happy. You don't have to live on anyone's terms but your own, okay? 

I hope it works out for you and your girlfriend!

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

Like haven't talked to my grandparents in almost 3 months because they tegus to acknowledge my existence. My cousin did some very inappropriate things and I reported it and he got into trouble legally and I think they blame me because they said they can't legally see me but the authorities say it's not true. Can you please tell me it's not my fault that they're avoiding me?

It is definitely not your fault that they're avoiding you. They probably can't quite process what your cousin did, and they  probably can't really process why you would report them. Give them time and know that it's definitely them the problem lies with.

Dad

[weareyourparentsnow]

hey, so I've got somewhat of a predicament that I can't really go to anyone about. So me and my girlfriend are in our graduating year and i plan to do another year to improve my marks and such, she is indecisive about whether she'll do that or apply to places, anyways, i told my parents about what i wanted to do, which was her go to uni and i take a year off to work and move into an apartment with her, but they don't think it's a good idea, I'm financially stable as of now 1/2

and i have more than enough money with her combined to do it no problem, although I'm the only one with a vehicle, they still think it's a silly idea and that she's just a highschool sweetheart and i should let her go and make money on my own to be better off when i eventually go to school, I'm really in between, i don't want them to be mad at me for anything i do, do i just tell them straight up "here's what I'm going to do" or do i just do it and if they have a problem i just ignore it?

I definitely think you should wait and see what happens during next year. The relationship between the two of you might change, and your financial situation might change. Life happens, and we aren't always as prepared for it as we like to think. Don't make any arrangements to move in with her just yet, anyway. Give it time.

Dad