A strange combination of interests

Books, swimming, higschool, ED

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

Let’s turn up to the music to drown out the thoughts

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I had a dream where my coach (who I have absolutely no deep emotional connection with, nor have I had proper conversations with him...) was like “You are a lesbian - definitely getting some lesbian vibes” and I went on to say “I might be bi, though I don’t think I’m gay. I haven’t figured it out yet”

I haven’t ever told anyone I was unsure of my sexuality wtf is dream me trying to tell me?? I have barely admitted to myself I might be attracted to women....

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

How do I explain to my parents that my recent lack of productivity is due to suicidal thoughts and depressive symptoms without actually saying anything about this to them? I don’t want them to worry but I can’t explain why I’m so far behind on like 6 huge assignments in school

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

My parents gave me some money at CHRISTMAS so I could buy some clothes I like, but I still haven’t used them because I’m not skinny enough to buy clothes just yet. Besides I was skinny at Christmas and now when stores opened I have binged for like 1,5 month and gained 3 kgs.. kinda hate myself

Whoops I really needed a rant

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I hate how I go between ‘i wanna be skinny’ ‘I don’t deserve to eat’ (these are nicely compatible) and ‘I don’t deserve to be skinny - might as well eat it all’

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

Use “mylightkitchen” on Instagram to find extremely low calorie sweets. I’m looking forward to trying their stuff

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

How do I explain to someone why I’m sad without mentioning it’s because I’m struggling with thoughts about how to lose weight and stuff (I wouldn’t call it an eating disorder though)?

Should I just avoid talking to the person asking me about how I feel?

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I aspire to one day have confidence when I choose music in a group

[kouvufox-blog]

Welcome to Australia! Where a fast food restaurant literally made a mirrored reflective sea-gull proof packet for their fries so they don’t god damn try to fly down and steal your fries.

[kouvufox-blog]

YOU THINK IM JOKING?

LIGHT? FRIGHT!

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I have spent only 2 weeks of my life in Australia, and somehow this is a problem I’m very familiar with:/ I went to a subway on the Sydney harbor and after I had eaten only 2 bites of my sandwich a seagull attacked the sandwich and smashed it into the ground (so the he and all his seagull friends could eat it). A true tragedy

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

Does guys care for ambitious girls?

Like I do like boys with ambition (whether it’s school, a sport or whatever). Does boys feel the same about girls?? Or are they just considered not cool because they actually care about their future??

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I wanna be young and in love, but here I am young and bored out of my mind

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I feel sorry for everyone who speaks English or another widely spoken language like French or Spanish. They will never get to experience the thrill of talking about a stranger who does something funny/ridiculous on a vacation, and just hoping that they do not understand what your saying. But you just risk it all by talking loudly in a big group of people

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

So I’m a swimmer right (I used to train 10 times a week before all of this). And I live in a cold country and I have always been really happy about it because of the healthcare and equality and stuff here. But at the moment with everything closed due to corona virus (the swimming pools included), I absolutely hate not living in a warm country where I can swim outside or have a pool in my backyard...

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I hate when people say “just be yourself”. Like I get the reasoning behind it - you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you are not. But I have no clue who “I am” and honestly it is really frustrating. I’m only 18 so i still time have to figure it out.. my point is just that when people tell me to just be myself I don’t know how to act... cause I always feel like I’m pretending to be someone else, no matter what I do

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

One of the worst feelings in the world is when you finally decide to leave your bed in the middle of the night to go pee, and when your reach the door realize that the toilet is occupied. Then you have to go back to bed while having to pee and then when you hear the door open, decide yet again whether or not it is worth it to leave the bed...

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I wish confident people were attracted to me. Cause I ain’t ever gonna make the first move, though I’m not uninterested in flirting and stuff, my confidence is just nonexistent and I’m way too self conscious to imagine anyone would be interested. And I have been ridiculed before - not risking that again...

So pleeease come and talk to me if you’re interested and I’ll reply...

[weirdcomboofdecisions]

I REALLY love some of Justin Bieber’s new songs. They’re so cute, like “10.000 hours” and “intentions” really makes me want to fall in love with someone. They make me want to want to know someone on the level he sings about. But I’m single so why even bother...?