· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ ·
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ ·
Endless scenarios always circulated her mind, possibilities of how things could have been changed, if they could ever solve a situation that already happened. Would it end in the same result? Or will fate be altered? Those were the questions she always asked herself, yet she didn't have the power to simply reset memories that happened so long ago. Would she still regret the choices she made? Would she still ponder about the vast future she has yet to see? That is the mystery of life itself, so unnecessarily unpredictable yet predictable at the same time.
What if I had stolen you away?
On that dreary night, tucked away in the stony walls of your castle, meant to lock you up and keep you frozen in place. A mind that wandered towards the horizon yet eyes that begged for me to stay, vulnerable and so alone within your glittering cage. For someone who towered over everyone, you looked so small in front of that fireplace. A smile so radiant yet eyes that didn’t reflect its shine, a wish so earnest to simply see the horizon over the vast sea that stretched out to continents. How could I ever forget you? Why did I forget you? A desire so deep, rooted within the depths of your heart, not willing to show and yet you opened up to me. Your struggles, your fears, your hatred. We were quite alike yet so different at the same time, to think that I envied your elegance at first. A mask you wore to protect yourself, not a single weakness was allowed, so unbecoming of a woman of your status. Yet you were still a child, my age, carrying the burden of an entire country and expected to lead.
So blind yet so wise to the reality we shared, I had simply given you company yet I didn't know it wasn't enough in my eyes. Gave you that shell to bid you the best wishes, to fuel your desire to see the ocean, to make your wish come true even in the smallest of ways. I saw you smile, a true one. It didn't quite meet your eyes but it was radiant, like the moon that hung over your head on that gloomy night, enchanting within the darkness that surrounded you. Vowing that you would cherish my childish gift that I spent too much time on finding, repeating inside my mind that you deserved the best shell the endless blue could provide, I could still vaguely recall my maid scolding me about the sand that clung to my dress when I dug around stones and running into the local wildlife.
What if I had opted to extend my hand to you? The fantasy of running away from our problems that were never ours to bare so young, to brave the unknown and see how far the waves could take us. It was a silly idea, really.. Yet when I heard about your simple desire to gaze upon the sea, it was the first thing that came to mind. To tell you, “Run away with me! Run until the sun consumes our forms and no one shall ever see us again!” It was truly silly but one couldn't help but wonder..
Would you like to live in a quaint, little cottage that we fixed up, hidden away from the eyes that wanted more from us? Eyes still full of wonder for what the world could offer us, a smile so bright that nary a cloud could dim it. A walk from the ocean you oh so loved, both of us clumsily handling a fishing pole and wrangling with the fishing line. I feel like you would’ve gotten better at it than me, I was never eager to learn before I left the confines of my family's house. We would have an endless view of the skies above, watching clouds drifting by amongst the stars while you stare, transfixed in the moon’s gentle light. A cozy living, where no one else will find us, where we live the end of our days smiling without a hint of shame for it. Doesn't it sound lovely?
What if you met me at Beorht?
You mentioned that you went overseas for a while, you boarded the same ship as I did, I wonder if you saw the look on my face when we embarked on our voyage to Orwynn? I remember how much adrenaline was coursing through my veins, my first ever journey by myself, I didn't even feel the anxiety eating at me. Drifting across the calm waves, I couldn't help but feel excited to come back after so long. I knew I could never meet you again, especially after I was informed of the news of your disappearance, yet a small bit of hope still clung to my weakened heart. Wishing and praying that you were still alive and I could meet you again, even if it was just for a moment.
I hope Beorht treated you well if you did come across our shores, it isn't exactly the most inviting at first, much less the local nobles being as snooty as they are yet I wish you were not troubled in my country. I wonder if you ever explored the favorite shops I rarely visit, did Magne’s Parlour treat you well? They’re quite open minded with common folk buying at their boutique, the owner’s quite lovely as well. I feel anxious thinking about whether or not you made it to the capital, I never bothered to show my face, I never saw anything beneficial in attending public events unless important. Would you have been disappointed if you caught a glimpse at me?
I also lived in a bird cage, one that was quite the opposite of yours yet similar at the same time. Ever since I lost my title as the heir, my importance within the house fell and I was merely designated as the “Daughter of the Cindervals”. I was used as another fancy decoration to show my family’s slimy wealth and status, paraded around like a doll yet never expected to speak, I was never really valued as much. What was your opinion on me if you ever did catch a glimpse of this side of mine, did it feel as if you were looking into a mirror like I did when I gazed upon you? Was I approachable? Pitiful? Miserable? Most likely, all of the above. Would you have tried contacting me? Talk to me like I did for you, I would’ve liked your company, any would do in my position. I love my brother dearly but even if I have my dignity so as not to bring shame to him and his image, he doesn't have to stoop so low to talk to me.
I was living day by day, night by night, wondering the same thoughts as you did. What was beyond the horizon? Where the waning moon sets and the morning sun rises, illuminating the vast stretch of the ocean, boundless and bare for us to explore. What was beyond my estate’s halls, the shores of Beorht? Was it truly as magical as you claim it to be? Anything would’ve been lovely that wasn't in Beorht, the capital that was rotting from the inside out, full of scheming scumbags that wanted everything to themselves. I was just another chess piece in the elaborate game my father set for our lives yet I wanted to be a player, expand my horizons and perhaps play another game where I had a say in what I wanted to do. Live the way you wished you could.. would you have wanted that?
A set of questions that never left my mind, making me hang onto impossibilities that I can never fully comprehend. I’m only left to imagine what could have been, would our fates still be intertwined? Would the gods be cruel enough to pry us even further? What would have happened if we never met? If I didn't attend that meeting that day, if I never sat by you in front of that fireplace. As far as I am aware, I’m glad I met you. I’m glad you talked to me, were vulnerable and opened up to me, that I gave you that conch to remember me by. Do you still remember me? It’s been so long, have you forgotten me? That red headed girl that had too large of a mouth and too weak of a heart, do you recognize her now? She’s free now, basking in the ocean breeze, armed with the skills of a monk.
“Bonnie!” Gentle wrapping on her door resonated within the small room she was provided in this rundown tavern they designated as their homebase, the light sleeper was easily woken from her rest.
“Hhnn… hm?” Bonnie hums out, stifling her yawn as she peeked an eye open when her door creaked open ever so slightly. A tuft of blue hair poking out of the frame, gazing at her with a bit of awkwardness, flashing her a grin.
“Mornin’ Bon, sorry to wake ya’.” Their gruff tone made the red head relax ever so slightly, recognizing it was their tournament companion.
“‘s fine..” Bonnie grumbled as they peeled themselves off the warmth of their bed, sitting up and slumping slightly with her hair frizzed up from moving so much in her sleep.
“Man.. you look like shit.”
“.. you really know how to make a girl feel pretty huh, Grem?”
“You know it.” Grem chuckled in amusement and stuck their thumb out, pointing to outside the room itself. “Bout to make breakfast, just wanted ya’ up and early as usual.”
“I’ll uh.. get ready in a bit, thanks for waking me up.” Bonnie flashes her a soft smile, patting down her head to try and tame her messy, red locks that were all over the place.
“Anytime! See ya downstairs.” A soft click indicated that the door was now closed, causing Bonnie to sigh for the likely first time today.
“Early bird gets the worm I guess..”
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ ·
I hope you enjoyed this small, personal entry by one of my DND Characters! A deep dive into their thoughts about the one they adore, the Queen of Orwynn.
Context isn't needed much but I just wanted to share my writings here again cause I've been fired up lately about it once more!
Thank you for those who read this!
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·· · ─ ·✶· ─ ·
