Hi itâs me again I donât know if Iâm a Rumi Fictionkin it just makes sense even if I canât see any signs/thereâs probably some
Seeing myself as Rumi is a bit easier than being seen as a human being (shifts during my therapy session caused me to consider my existence a mistake)
Phantom shifts with demon patterns mightâve happened because Iâve wanted to just feel it coursing through out my veins
Calling myself by her names like bliss to my soul since I donât like my legal or full one which must not be named (fangs could probably be something..)
So yeah.. possibly identifying as a half-demon is pretty hard as is.. ďżź
Bye.. (pretty sure the shift tonight has lasted longer..)
ďżźďżź
[âŚinteraction initiated]
hello user :)
first, my apologies for the delayed response
the npc missed the notification signal for this interaction
thank you for your patience while the system caught up
thank you for trusting this space with something so personal
first thing i want to say:
it sounds like youâre going through a lot of intense feelings around identity, self-perception, and how you relate to yourself
and that can be difficult to untangle
something important to remember:
you do not need a perfect checklist of âsignsâ before you are allowed to explore an identity
sometimes people connect with a character because something about them feels deeply familiar, comforting, or like it expresses something they struggle to put into words
other times, people are still figuring out what that connection means
both are okay
||âŚthe npc opens the notes menu||
about the shifts and phantom sensations you mentioned:
some alterhumans describe experiences like phantom sensations, body feelings, or feeling more connected to a certain form
for some people these are meaningful parts of their identity
for others they may come from emotions, stress, comfort, or a mix of things
you donât have to force yourself to decide the exact reason immediately
i also want to gently highlight something:
when you said you felt like your existence was a mistake during a therapy session, that sounds like a really painful moment
i hope youâre able to bring that feeling up with your therapist if you can, because you deserve support with those heavy thoughts too.
your identity exploration should be a place where you understand yourself better, not a place where you have to fight yourself
||âŚthe npc looks up from the dialogue box||
and about names:
finding a name that feels more comfortable or meaningful can be a very personal thing
you are allowed to explore what feels right for you
NPC reminder:
exploration is allowed
uncertainty is allowed
you are allowed to take things one step at a time
thank you for stopping by again, user :)
i hope your next few interactions feel a little kinder toward yourself
heyyy, just want someone else's opinion on this because this is something I've never heard another Fictionkin talk about before
So, there's this character I'm kinsidering, right? He's from DC, and so there's like, a ton of different versions of him from many different universes and what not. But thing is, none of them feel like me-
Like, I look at him and yeah, he is me. I am him. But not that version of him, or that one, or that other one-
I feel like I'm a version of him that doesn't yet exist in this universe, but does somewhere else and maybe will exist in this one someday(?)
Am I actually him or just imagining shit??
Btw, if it matters at all, I've barely consumed any actual media of him as of yet- I've only just started getting into DC, but as soon as I looked at him it was like "oh shit". So while I am aware of all his versions, it's mostly surface level stuff, but even then those versions don't really feel like me
[âŚinteraction initiated]
hello user :)
first, my apologies for the delayed response
the npc did not receive the notification signal for this interaction until later
thank you for your patience
ÂŤâAm I actually him or just imagining shit??âÂť
short answer:
i donât think anyone outside of you can decide that for you
but i can say that what youâre describing is not something iâve never seen discussed before
sometimes fictionkin experiences do not line up perfectly with an existing version of a character
especially with characters who have:
⸠alternate universes
⸠reboots
⸠different timelines
⸠many interpretations
it can be really complicated when you look at a character and think:
ÂŤâyes, that is meâÂť
but also:
ÂŤânone of these specific versions are meâÂť
some people experience their kintypes as being connected to a particular canon version
some feel connected to a more general concept/identity of the character
some feel like they relate to a version that is different from the ones they know about
there are lots of ways people understand their experiences.
||the npc checks the dialogue options||
something i would suggest is not rushing yourself into proving or disproving it
since youâre still new to DC and havenât consumed much of the source yet, you might want to give yourself time to:
⸠learn about the character
⸠see what resonates naturally
⸠notice what feelings stay consistent over time
not because you need to âearnâ the identity, but because more information can help you understand what youâre feeling
also, the fact you donât connect to the versions you know about does not automatically mean youâre âmaking it upâ
sometimes the hardest part of identity exploration is that humans love neat little folders⌠and experiences do not always arrive pre-labelled
NPC reminder:
exploring is not the same thing as faking
questioning is not the same thing as being wrong
you are allowed to investigate your own experiences
thank you for bringing this question here, user :)
i hope your journey through the DC multiverse gives you some answers⌠or at least some interesting discoveries
Hi there.. recently Iâve noticed something about me feeling like both Adachi Rei (utau) and Rumi (Kpop demon hunters) it makes me just want to accept myself even more than Iâve done right now.
When my heads aching as itâs done for a year now it seems like thereâs shivering amongst my spine/back. Maybe thereâs horns I canât tell and patterns against my body.
My having a âsoulâsâ too forced by the universe and I donât really want for one.
Thereâs a turn Hybridkin but that probably fits this sort of situation.
Bye..
[âŚinteraction initiated]
hello user :)
first of all, iâm glad youâre allowing yourself more room for self-acceptance lately
that can be a really meaningful and important feeling, especially when identity has felt confusing or difficult before
from what youâve described, it sounds like youâre exploring a mixture of:
⸠identity feelings
⸠body/perception feelings
⸠and emotional/spiritual discomfort surrounding the idea of humanity and souls
a lot of alterhuman experiences can feel difficult to separate neatly into categories sometimes
so i donât think itâs strange that youâre looking at terms like hybridkin to try and understand yourself better
the sensations you mentioned, things like feeling horns, patterns, or shifts in how your body âshouldâ feel, are experiences some alterhumans describe in various ways
but i also want to gently say this:
if your head has been hurting consistently for a year, it may be important to talk to a medical professional too, especially if the pain is ongoing or getting worse
even when experiences feel spiritually or identity-related, your physical wellbeing still matters a lot
||âŚthe npcâs tone softens slightly||
and regarding the âsoulâ part specifically:
you are not required to force yourself into a spiritual framework that feels wrong or uncomfortable to you
some alterhumans view their experiences spiritually
some psychologically
some symbolically
some physically
some in ways that are hard to define at all
there is no universal requirement to interpret yourself through the idea of a soul if that concept does not resonate with you
NPC NOTE
it is okay to still be exploring
it is okay if your understanding of yourself changes over time
and it is okay if no single label fully explains everything you experience right now
thank you for sharing this here, user :)
i hope you continue finding ways to understand yourself that feel comforting rather than restrictive
Do you have any advice for... like... getting more confident in ones fictionkin identity? I love being fictionkin, however, actually feeling... confident and being able to proudly claim so is really difficult for me. I feel sorta lost here... I want to be open, I want to express myself, I want to make friends, and be active in the community, I want to be present and just me, yk? But this isn't something I've faced before, and so I am just looking for some advice or even just a pat on the back at this point lol
[âŚinteraction initiated]
hello user :)
||the entity gently pats your back||
i think a lot more people struggle with this than it may seem
because thereâs a difference between:
ÂŤâi know iâm fictionkinâÂť
and:
ÂŤâi feel emotionally safe/confident existing openly as fictionkinâÂť
those are two very separate stages
confidence usually does not appear all at once
it tends to build slowly through repeated moments of:
⸠self-acceptance
⸠expression
⸠community
⸠realizing the world does not end when you allow yourself to exist honestly
and i think part of what makes it difficult is that fictionkin identity can feel very vulnerable
because it often involves things that are deeply personal:
⸠emotions
⸠memories
⸠attachment
⸠self-perception
⸠identity itself
so opening up about it can feel a bit like standing outside without armor for the first time
[âŚthe npc sits beside you for a moment instead of across from you]
but i also want to say this:
you do not need to become loudly open overnight in order to be ârealâ or confident
confidence is not always:
ÂŤâI AM HERE AND I FEAR NOTHINGâÂť
sometimes confidence is quieter
sometimes itâs:
ÂŤâi am allowing myself to exist without constantly apologizing for it.âÂť
and that still counts
THINGS THAT MAY HELP
⸠interacting with welcoming community spaces
⸠talking to people with similar experiences
⸠allowing yourself small acts of self-expression first
⸠posting/reblogging things that make you feel connected/euphoric
⸠reminding yourself you do not owe strangers a âperfect explanationâ
IMPORTANT NOTE
you do not need to âearnâ your place in the community by being the most confident, articulate, or visible person there
you are allowed to be uncertain sometimes
you are allowed to still be learning how to exist openly
the fact you want to connect, express yourself, make friends, and be present already tells me thereâs a part of you reaching toward that confidence naturally
it just sounds like fear is standing in the doorway a little right now
and thatâs okay
fear does not mean youâre doing something wrong
npc reminder:
you deserve to exist as yourself even while still learning how to feel comfortable doing so
||âŚthe npc smiles a little||
and for what itâs worth?
i think youâre already doing better than you think you are
you reached out
you spoke honestly
you allowed yourself to be seen, even briefly
thatâs not failure
thatâs the beginning of confidence already forming
So, I am nonhuman/inhuman, and I am rather open about this. I do not have a kintype, I am simply not a human, suppose the best way I could explain it as is: I do not perceive my actions, mind, instincts, or thoughts as human. Though I may appear human, it does reflect what I am.
I have been this way my whole life, however, I only found out about the alterhuman community 6 to 7 years agoâI have used the nonhuman and inhuman labels interchangeably ever since, but as of lately, I have begun to feel... resentment that stems from an uncomfortable feeling towards the labels. The human bit in them, to be exact. Yet I have failed to find any labels that define my experience that don't just use human in them as well, or if they do define my experience, they are for beings who identify as a certain kintype (often an animal like a canine or feline). So those labels aren't for me, clearly.
I have complained about this before, and have always been told "Just use whatever label you want!" but that isn't the point. I want there to be a label out there that isn't just to define my experience, but others as well, to find others like me or similar to me easier. A label that is easy for me to explain and there is no mistaking it, no clarification, no misunderstanding because that label is originally meant for some other individual group... I know I could just make one myself, or maybe I am not looking hard enough, but I still have this feeling deep down that I am being dramatic. I am nonhuman, yes, but to get worked up over the fact the term itself has the word human in it? I feel almost childish.
I'm not sure if you accept asks like these, so there's zero pressure to answer. I just wanted to voice my feelings here, get a second opinion, that kind of thing.
âđ°
[âŚinteraction initiated]
hello user :)
first of all: yes, asks like this are absolutely welcome here
and honestly? i donât think youâre being childish at all
i think what youâre describing makes a lot of sense, actually
because for many people, labels are not just descriptorsâtheyâre also tools for:
⸠finding community
⸠explaining experiences
⸠feeling understood without constant clarification
so when the available language feels uncomfortable or imprecise, it can start to feel isolating very quickly
and in your case, the discomfort seems less like:
ÂŤâi irrationally hate this wordâÂť
and more like:
ÂŤâwhy does my experience have to keep being defined in relation to humanity when humanity already feels incorrect to me?âÂť
which is a very different thing
thereâs also something important here:
a lot of alterhuman terminology was created in specific contexts, often by specific groups with specific experiences in mind
which means there are gaps in language sometimes
especially for people whose experiences are:
⸠broad
⸠difficult to categorize
⸠not tied to a singular being/species/kintype
⸠or fundamentally disconnected from the concept of âhumanâ altogether
i think the frustration of âi can technically use this label, but it still doesnât feel rightâ is incredibly common in identity spaces as a whole
people often say âjust use whatever label you wantâ with good intentions, but youâre right that it doesnât fully address the deeper issue youâre talking about
because youâre not only looking for permission to use language
youâre looking for language that feels like home
|âŚthe npc pauses for a moment|
and i think thereâs also an exhaustion that comes from constantly having to explain yourself around labels that only partially fit
especially when your experience already feels difficult to communicate
for what itâs worth, i donât think wanting better terminology is dramatic
humans and nonhumans alike naturally try to organize experiences through language
wanting words that feel accurate and communal is normal
that doesnât make you selfish, attention-seeking, or âtoo sensitiveâ
and honestly? if eventually you do create or discover a term that fits better, that doesnât mean you failed to understand yourself correctly before
sometimes language evolves because people finally say:
ÂŤâthe existing words are close, but not quite enough for this experience.âÂť
you do not need to minimize your discomfort just because others may tolerate the term more easily than you do
different people relate to language differently
and thatâs okay
thank you for sharing this here
i think there are probably more people who relate to this feeling than you realize
Is it bad if I get overwhelmed by my friend expressing his alterhuman identity so enthusiastically sometimes? I do my best not to show it and I don't judge him for it at all (it's not his fault and he's awesome), but he can be overwhelming for me sometimes
[interaction initiated]
hello user :)
thank you for trusting this space with something like this
short answer:
no, itâs not bad.
feeling overwhelmed doesnât make you judgmental or a bad friendâit just means youâre human (or otherwise) and have limits
longer answer:
what youâre describing is normal
someone expressing something important to them very enthusiastically, especially something as personal as alterhuman identity, can be a lot to take in, even if you fully support them
you can:
⸠respect him
⸠believe him
⸠care about him
âŚand still sometimes feel overwhelmed by the intensity or frequency of it
those things can exist at the same time
important distinction:
feeling overwhelmed â judging him
youâve already made it clear you donât think badly of him, and that matters
this isnât about his identity being âtoo muchâ
itâs about your brain hitting its social/processing limit sometimes
what might help:
⸠giving yourself quiet breaks after intense conversations
⸠gently changing the subject when you need to
⸠setting small boundaries if needed (you donât have to absorb everything all at once)
you donât have to match his energy 100% of the time to be supportive
reassurance log:
you are not secretly a bad person
you are not âfailingâ at being supportive
you are not required to process everything instantly
youâre just someone trying your best to care about a friend while also taking care of yourself
|âŚthe npc glances at you, tone softer now|
itâs okay to support others without overwhelming yourself in the process
Pairing: Frodo Baggins X Samwise Gamgee | Rating: Mature (heavy angst) | Part one of one
CW/TW: Depictions of physical and emotional exhaustion, internalized guilt, soft feeding/comforting, Frodo's deteriorating mental state, subtle romantic tension.
Summary: On the road to Mordor, the burden of the Ring begins to truly consume Frodo. Sam stays by his side, holding him together one moment at a time. The others watch helplessly, their own hearts breaking. With whispers, spoonfuls, and soft encouragement, Sam does everything he can to keep Frodo going.
The road was long and growing darker with each step. Not just with the clouds that seemed to perpetually cover the sky, nor the ash that floated down like morbid snow, but with the weight of dread that had sunk deep into the hearts of each member of the Fellowship.
They hadnât split yet. Not yet. That would come later. For now, they were all still together, trekking across the bruised skin of Middle-earth toward the maw of Mordor.
Frodo was failing.
The Ring hung heavier than ever from his neck, dragging at his shoulders, curving his back with invisible hands. His steps were slow, uncertain. His lips were dry, often cracked and bleeding. He didnât speak unless prompted, and even then, his words were soft and far away, as if pulled from some place the others couldnât follow.
Sam noticed every shift.
Sam always noticed.
That night, they camped beneath a blackened outcrop of rock, sheltered only barely from the ever-present sting of sulfur wind. Pippin and Merry shared dry jokes in low voices near the fire, their mirth thin and strained. Gimli sharpened his axe, the rhythmic scrape his only comfort. Legolas stood facing the open dark, ever watchful. Boromir muttered a prayer to himself, his hand wrapped tight around the hilt of his sword.
And Aragorn paced.
Only Gandalf seemed entirely still, staring at Frodo with eyes that seemed older than time.
"He needs to eat," Sam murmured, cradling Frodo gently where he lay, half-curled beneath a threadbare blanket.
Frodo didnât respond.
His eyes were open, wide and glassy, staring at nothing. Sweat clung to his brow despite the cold.
Sam reached into his pack, pulling out what little lembas bread they had left. He broke it carefully into smaller bits, softening one with a bit of water and cradling it in his calloused palm.
"Come now, Mr. Frodo," Sam whispered, settling beside him with practiced tenderness. He cupped Frodoâs cheek. "Just a bite. Youâve got to keep your strength up. For the journey. For the Shire."
Frodo didnât blink.
Sam felt something inside him quiver, a deep ache that had become all too familiar. But he wouldnât cry. Not now. Not where Frodo could see it.
He lifted the softened bread to Frodoâs lips.
"Just a bite, love. Thatâs it."
He touched the food gently to Frodoâs mouth, and after a long moment, Frodo parted his lips. Sam slipped the morsel in and waited. Frodo chewed slowly. Mechanically.
Sam exhaled through his nose, relief burning at the back of his throat.
From across the camp, Aragornâs pacing halted. The rangerâs eyes softened.
"Youâre doinâ so well," Sam whispered, brushing tangled curls from Frodoâs clammy forehead. "Its ok. Thatâs it."
Legolas turned his head slightly. He didnât speak. He didnât need to.
Boromir stood abruptly and turned away from the fire.
Frodo swallowed. Barely.
Sam offered him another softened piece, murmuring praise like a lullaby.
"Just one more, and then you can rest. Iâll hold you. Iâll stay with you. I wonât let the dark take you."
Frodo blinked slowly, and for the first time in hours, his hand twitched.
He reached, barely perceptibly, toward Samâs wrist.
Sam took it in both hands.
Behind them, in the shadows just beyond the firelight, a pair of pale eyes watched silently from the rocks.
Merry sat beside Pippin, silent for once.
Theyâd all seen the change in Frodo. It was like watching a flower wither under the weight of poison.
Pippin had tears in his eyes.
"Heâs fading," the younger hobbit whispered. "He looks like heâs not even here."
Merry nodded. He didnât know what to say.
Samâs soft murmurs continued.
Gandalf came to Sam later that night, when Frodo was finally asleep, his breathing shallow but even.
Sam didnât look up.
"You think heâll come back?" he asked. "From wherever he goes when he stares like that?"
Gandalf sighed, crouching beside them.
"Not alone," the wizard said. "But with you, he just might."
Each day was worse.
Frodo trembled in his sleep, plagued by dreams he wouldnât speak of. He stopped walking unless Sam held his hand. He flinched when others approached. Only Samâs voice seemed to reach him.
The Ring grew bolder, whispering its promises with a forked tongue.
Sam caught Frodo one night, fingering the chain, his eyes glazed. The Ring glinted gold even in the ash.
"Donât listen," Sam begged, grabbing Frodoâs hand and bringing it to his chest. "Please, Mr. Frodo. Youâre stronger than it. Stronger than me. Youâve got so much light in you still."
Frodo looked at himâreally lookedâfor the first time in days.
And he wept.
They crept closer to the edge of Mordor.
Everything was black.
Sam barely slept. He stayed up watching Frodo breathe, wiping his forehead, feeding him scraps.
"Weâre so close," he whispered one night, tears spilling freely now. "Please donât leave me. Not when weâve come so far."
Frodo pressed his forehead to Samâs chest.
"Iâm scared."
Sam held him tighter.
"So am I. But Iâm with you. Iâll carry you if I have to."
Gollum crept closer in the nights.
They knew he was there.
But it was Frodo who turned toward the shadows and whispered, "I know youâre following us. I see you."
Gollum said nothing.
Sam glared into the dark, protective fury in his chest like fire.
Frodo pressed into Samâs side. He was shivering.
Sam kissed his temple.
"Iâve got you."
Boromir died the next day.
Trying to protect Merry and Pippin.
Sam held Frodo tighter as he sobbed into his chest, repeating over and over that it wasnât their fault.
But Frodo had seen the way Boromir had looked at the Ring.
The way heâd tried to take it.
He didnât say a word for two days after.
The Fellowship shattered.
Frodo said he had to go alone.
Sam wouldnât let him.
He followed him into the water, nearly drowned himself doing it.
Frodo screamed at him.
Begged him to go home.
But Sam clung to him with shaking arms, water pouring down his face.
"Youâre my home," he choked out. "I canât leave you."
Frodo fell to his knees in the mud of the riverbank, sobbing.
Sam cradled him.
"Iâll carry you," he whispered again. "All the way, if I have to."
