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shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
Claire Keane
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Mike Driver
taylor price
NASA
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
cherry valley forever
pixel skylines
almost home
tumblr dot com
Andulka
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
oozey mess
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@welcometothepartypal12
You, an elf, married a human, built a small farm and raised children. Your children grew up, had families, and started farms nearby. So did their children, and those children’s children. Now your many descendants have formed a bustling city and you are known as the official “town grandparent”.
bizarre how many christians consider themselves monotheists? look buddy off the top of my head i can name at least two deities you're really into. three minimum if u're catholic
There is one god and there are two to three of him
OTP (One True Polycule)
can be expanded as needed to fit an entire franchise worth of characters. kneel before me.
"what about the characters who canonically hate each other" ESPECIALLY the characters who canonically hate each other
normal nightmares, can i have ONE normal nightmare ffs
yanked from slumber by a dream wherein the corporate solution to "the people churn yearn for fresh butter" was "let's bioengineer a miniature cow that people can keep in their refrigerator's butter cubicle where it will regularly poop out fresh butter" (???)
of course that's not how cows work at all, so instead they mutated a sea slug until it was black and white and vaguely cow shaped, self-regenerating, and creamy & delicious. then they pre-sliced that fucker (still alive) and sold it as this season's Can't Fucking Believe It's Not Butter!
all of which i found out (in the dream) when i walked into a grocery store dairy aisle and was faced with row upon row of squirming, writhing, silently-screaming supine slug-cows mooing in slug-agony
so yeah, i miss normal nightmares 👎
gotta look something up
I'm sorry WHAT
He WHAT
"you learn something new every day" is a threat actually
so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.
the garlic. it beckons you
"perfec t size put baby in Pelican Mouth" gained a new level of visceral horror once i found out how BIG those fuckers can actually get
I'm sorry for ever doubting you, horrendous creature. you absolutely could, with ease, fit a small human into your mouth. I acknowledge your mouth is in fact a convenient and comfortable size for a baby to nap it. due to extenuating circumstances, i will not be enabling such a situation,
#the stork giveth
#the pelican taketh
I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.
In a last ditch attempt to save your people, you offer your life to an ancient god of war and blood. Unfortunately, your translation of the ancient text was a bit off. You're married now.
as much as I love portrayals of the sun and moon as a (lesbian) couple, the greeks were really on to something when they said "actually they're siblings who disapprove of each other's life choices"
everything I know about My Little Pony I have learned against my will
A ghost has haunted your bathroom, a monster sleeps under your bed and a family of gnomes lives in your backyard. None of them are helping pay rent. A house meeting has been called.
You and your soulmate are stuck in a cycle of reincarnation, but you managed to find each other every single time. In this life, you finally managed to track them down… only to learn they started a happy family with someone else.
we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.
first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like
also, there are other legal options that might fit your relationship better than marriage! Next-of-kin, power-of-attorney, will-and-testament, joint property ownership--these are all ways to create legal ties and share resources with someone you view as family. you can tailor your choices to suit the needs of your specific relationship. relationships aren't one-size-fits-all, and neither are your options for legal commitment.
You were born with the unique power to see the most interesting "stat" of a person floating over their head. For most, it's stuff like "TIMES WON GAMES OF POKER: 43," or "PROMISES BROKEN: 105." Today, you glance up at someone sitting nearby to see "EXTRATERRESTRIALS KILLED: 27."
making my brother watch gravity falls is great because most of the time he’ll be like “oh is x side character played by y actor” and i have to say “no its alex hirsch again” but last night he was like “wow alex hirsch did a great job on this shapeshifter voice” and words can’t describe the look on his face when i, vibrating, said, “actually thats mark hamill”
i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken
His ghost is setting those cars on fire actually
I hadn’t really considered “the agnostic demigod of electromagnetism is the reason Musk’s companies fail” before, but I like the concept.
Gimme a superhero whose powers are water-based, and everywhere they go they wear a raincoat because clouds have a habit of sporadically pouring down on them, indoors and out.
It is later revealed they are in complete control of these clouds, and simply enjoy having an excuse to wear a raincoat
#they like the Aesthetic #and also how it discourages people from inviting them anywhere
