wellness with wina

reflections on wellness | 34 | seattle, wa

[wellnesswithwina]

Manifestation.

just putting some motivation on here for my future self.

I will be a homeowner.

I will become debt free.

I will have income from work that brings me joy and fulfillment.

I will live in abudance.

I will provide a physical place of safety for my community.

I will be an amazing mother.

I will be a supportive and affirming partner/wife.

I will create a legacy of love.

I will see my purpose lived out each day.

August 14, 2025

[wellnesswithwina]

Live Intentionally and Protect Your Energy.

[wellnesswithwina]

Sunday Kind of Love.

I can’t wait to find this in a partner. Someone who will mirror a slow start to the morning, breakfast, afternoon snuggles with an evening of reflection, resetting and having heart to heart convos.

I’m talking to potential people but haven’t found someone who excites me spiritually and intellectually. And I’m okay to wait until my person finds me.

[wellnesswithwina]

January 6, 2025. Fulfilled & Content

This chapter of my life will be about enjoying what I have access to. Good friendships, a loving family, a job, community and progressing health.

I have a lot to improve but I’m also very thankful to be locked in and focused on those goals. The last few years have been about loving myself and grieving the person I was in my last relationship. I embraced the courage to face my emotions and where I lost myself. I recognize what made me bitter and how to honor my anger as it reminded me that I’m human. I forgave myself for neglecting my body, my heart and spirit.

I’m still healing but I feel more solid in sticking to the next chapter of my growth. I feel God everyday speaking to me……in my stress, in my joy and in the spaces where I’m unfulfilled. I’m ready to care for myself spiritually and to allow God to heal me in ways only he can.

[wellnesswithwina]

the more I heal…I find myself surfacing everything I suppressed. they are a mixture of the most painful words and sweetest memories. I realize that with my confidence and strength, I’m still human at the end of the day and I still have a huge heart. today I grieve because of how much I loved this person. it took me some time to say yes to the relationship and just a few months for me to see that it was a mistake😔

having no boundaries for yourself can get you into some deep shit if you don’t know when to leave a toxic situation. it’s so easy to say “leave” but the action to choose yourself when your heart is fragile is the real battle. I grieve for my past self because she wanted to help a friend, she loved wholeheartedly and at the end of the day, he was her first for everything, how could you break those emotions?

it’s okay to love someone but don’t forget to love yourself even more.

[wellnesswithwina]

Thank you to my ex’s…ex.

Never thought I would say those words. One moment I was jealous that he had a close relationship with her (also hurt that he confided in her for almost everything) and the next minute, I’m practically begging for answers and getting comfort from her.

It was weird to hear the truth from her…….she told me he had fallen for someone else, she confirmed the distance I felt. When I lied about the breakup to my family/friends, only she knew the truth about me and she understood my pain because she knew everything about him.

“You’re not missing out on anything” — she would comfort me and affirm that this pain would soon pass. I called her everytime I broke down and told her how much it hurt…everything just sucked even though I knew I was doing the right thing for myself. I wish I could talk to her now and share the progress I’ve made and that things indeed got better.

Rest in peace, thank you forreal for being a voice of comfort during the most fragile season.

[wellnesswithwina]

Reflections: September 13, 2024

These are 2/4 stanzas on words that came to mind when I thought about trauma, the 4 words were vulnerable, drowning, unloved and broken. The free write has helped me unpack reflections that I wasn’t quite ready to for a year ago. God is truly good. The healing journey continues.

Book: Healing through Words by Rupi Kaur

[wellnesswithwina]

How Grief shows up.

For the longest time, I hated hospitals. The smell, the sound of monitors, the lighting…just everything. My last memory of my parents are each of them on life support with no opportunity of hearing a response ever again. These memories resurface every time I’m at a clinic or in the hospital, so just as much as I avoid painful memories, I do my best to stay away from certain places.

Yesterday I found myself crying before my surgery because at one point I didn’t have access to my phone to distract me from the procedure. I just sat with my silence, did breathing techniques and the memories of my parents came to mind….I missed them so much in that moment and wanted to hear their voices….just a gentle “it’s going to be okay” or having them pray over me would’ve meant the world. Whenever I have these small moments of grief, I allow my emotions to run its course, I’ve learned throughout life to just feel your feelings and not suppress them.

I am grateful to have the best community of folks who lift me up each day. I have everything I need in my circle and people would pull up for me anytime but sometimes…..who we truly want is no longer accessible physically, and that’s the part that’s hard to live with. How do you respond when grief shows up?

[wellnesswithwina]

Love yourself well🌻

Be so invested that each time you look in the mirror you see a better version. Commit to your values so much that you won’t be entertained by the bare minimum. Love with compassion but recognize manipulation. The community of people that are truly for you, will love you into God’s purpose and will. They will be apart of the plan instead of distracting you from it. Stay the course!

[wellnesswithwina]

33, 267lbs, July 2024.

[wellnesswithwina]

Dear future lover.

[wellnesswithwina]

I remember finding out I had type 2 diabetes back in 2020. I wasn’t shocked as both of my parents had this and I know my eating habits 🫣. I’m hella stubborn when it comes to my health because 1) it’s expensive to walk into a clinic or seek any type of care (and this is WITH insurance) and 2) I hate hospitals because it reminds me of days my parent passed.

But now more than ever, I am trying to keep myself accountable to regulating my A1C levels (blood sugar) while also building a lifestyle that will keep me alive longer. Day by day, I am finding ways to flip my mindset with movement and especially with what I consume. I hope that as I share my journey it will help someone else kickstart their own🙏🏽

[wellnesswithwina]

The flowers you deserve.

From my observations over this lifetime, I’ve witnessed flowers arriving when we’re on someone’s mind. I’ve seen the exchange through romance, celebrations, appreciation and seasons of grief. Flowers represent something beautiful and a physical reminder that someone is actively centering you. And I’ve been waiting for this version of you, Wina. I’ve been thinking about you and the person you’ve transformed into. You’ve planted seeds of self-love and being worthy all while holding pieces of a broken heart/grieving past versions of yourself. You’ve accomplished goals, shared your love with many people and held it down through many losses, but most of all you continue to fight for a new level of yourself. May you always celebrate your survival, may you keep choosing love and may you always stay in alignment of God’s will for your life. Love, Your present (past) self. July 13, 2024

[wellnesswithwina]

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in God, don’t rely on your own strength🩵

[wellnesswithwina]

a mother's love.

happy love day. every february 14 is an opportunity to show your love for someone: a friend, a coworker, a lover, a family member, a stranger....it's a risk for someone shooting their shot or a day of affirmation for those who are committed. but for me? today really just reminds me of my mom.

i am reminded of the way she led, loved and showed up for everyone. my mom was one of the loudest people in a room and if she needed to, she would make a point with her actions. her personality was bigger than life, she was the oldest of 12 siblings, i can't imagine what her life was like. the responsibility. the pressure. the strength she had to hold to care for my grandparents and her siblings.

my mom was someone that held our family together. i see the way her death has impacted my siblings, her siblings and all of her grandchildren as well. we lost a pillar, someone who reminded us to have faith and serve God. today, i miss her presence most, as i'm healing from heartbreak, i notice myself longing to be with my parents, something about being safe with them just brings me a peace of mind and at the same time, deep sorrow. i'm learning that there are many areas where i need to heal, but for now, we reflect, breathe and weep. happy birthday mom, thank you for being with me, thank you for being my motivation, my perseverance and my anchor in this lifetime. i love you.

[wellnesswithwina]

It hurts me still that I allowed this type of behavior for bare minimum support and “love” 😔

[wellnesswithwina]

just know that it's okay.

if I'm being honest, I found myself in a mental pit this weekend. I've been crying off and on throughout the week thinking about my ex and the pain of heartbreak. it hurts when i think about the lies, the neglect, the good memories, the sacrifice and what I thought was a shared amount of love for each other.

being cheated on is everyone's biggest fear in a relationship, and the shit still hurts to think about. i really wish we could erase the painful memories. it would be so much easier to heal and never think about the fuckery we had to deal with. but like i always say, this process of grieving will continue to run its course, i'll continue to cry and release as i need to but most importantly, i will become more liberated mentally and remember my worth.

for anyone dealing this, just know that it's okay to still miss your ex, because i'm reframing that as "missing yourself" during that season - the person who loved with pure intentions, cared deeply and wanted nothing the best for their partner. it was never them, but always you. if anything, they miss(ed) you. we're going to be alright <3