Howling About Some Stuff

Nobody knows I'm a werewolftrial.    More Julian content if you're into that. I post stuff, and you can reblog the stuff, or follow me if you want to. 

[werewolfchoir]

Might delete my MYC posts because ventposts I made for catharsis are being seen by the audience of a dude who’s made his entire thing relitigating Tumblr drama from 2013. I’m not even defending the people involved but I think there are a lot of perverse incentives in building your brand on detailing a defunct clique of marginalized people and the desire for more and more clicks based on people’s negative emotions at seeing horrible things. 

[werewolfchoir]

I don’t like doing ~callout culture~ stuff so no names but you guys are giving a lot of benefit of the doubt to a trans guy who posts interviews that say stuff like this, with zero pushback. A lot of people are apparently finding me through his posts but FTR I’m increasingly uncomfortable being associated w/ him and the way he’s building a platform around this stuff. Just incredibly sketchy 

[werewolfchoir]

I noticed that old posts I made on here about Tumblr user monetizeyourcat (MYC) have gotten a couple notes each, and also that they come up when you search her username on Tumblr. I wonder –why– people are searching for commentary about her now? I admit– it makes me kinda uneasy to think about people rubbernecking defunct scene bullshit under the guise of holding someone they’ve never interacted with accountable in an abstract way (or worse, by harassing her or creating some kind of KF-style dossier). So here’s some context for my previous posts.

For the record, I basically stand by those posts, but I haven’t been anywhere near MYC’s online circles for years. I don’t know what she’s up to (though after I posted them, I received testimony from a different ex about being abused by her and also largely unaware of her participation in Tumblr circles). (I’ll redact this if the person described here asks me.)

I don’t know about MYC’s current views or advocacy for them, and it remains very possible she’s recanted the ones I discussed. Frankly, I don’t really care if she holds these views as an individual– I care more about her capacity to persuade other people to adopt similar views. It’d be nice if she acknowledged the (indirect) moral pressure she exerted on trans men around her and the damaging emotional consequences of trying to revise one’s gender identity (both internal and social) to fit an ideological mold. I believe it’s misguided and wrong to ask trans men to disidentify with manhood, to socially detransition, etc. I believe that her confident, repeated advocacy for these views under a banner of (trans-inclusive) radical feminism harmed specific trans people around her.

But I didn’t post with the intent of holding her accountable for those views and afaict they aren’t particularly influential ones anymore. (There are also far more people who believe in some generic transphobic radfem version of this, as Ky Schevers addresses in her writing about ideological detransition.)

 In terms of live issues, I’m frankly more concerned about MYC’s abusive and manipulative patterns towards partners– I have no idea if MYC’s put any effort into changing her behavior in intimate relationships or even acknowledging the way she’s harmed others. I sincerely hope that she’s on a trajectory towards taking responsibility for and changing those abusive patterns, but as a stranger on the Internet I’m not in a position to litigate that.

 I will note that I believe everyone deserves dignity, and I don’t condone the harassment of MYC– it only creates more suffering without repairing harm. 

[werewolfchoir]

Another note: I can’t determine the extent to which MYC takes responsibility for her patterns of abusive behavior towards partners. But from the (brief) conversation I had with her ex (a person I’d never encountered before who found my posts) I think MYC often lies about certain things to portray herself as a victim to new partners. This suggests to me she does not give new partners information about her abusive behavior, and likely hasn’t taken responsibility for it.

[werewolfchoir]

I noticed that old posts I made on here about Tumblr user monetizeyourcat (MYC) have gotten a couple notes each, and also that they come up when you search her username on Tumblr. I wonder --why-- people are searching for commentary about her now? I admit-- it makes me kinda uneasy to think about people rubbernecking defunct scene bullshit under the guise of holding someone they’ve never interacted with accountable in an abstract way (or worse, by harassing her or creating some kind of KF-style dossier). So here’s some context for my previous posts.

For the record, I basically stand by those posts, but I haven’t been anywhere near MYC’s online circles for years. I don’t know what she’s up to (though after I posted them, I received testimony from a different ex about being abused by her and also largely unaware of her participation in Tumblr circles). (I’ll redact this if the person described here asks me.)

I don’t know about MYC’s current views or advocacy for them, and it remains very possible she’s recanted the ones I discussed. Frankly, I don’t really care if she holds these views as an individual-- I care more about her capacity to persuade other people to adopt similar views. It’d be nice if she acknowledged the (indirect) moral pressure she exerted on trans men around her and the damaging emotional consequences of trying to revise one’s gender identity (both internal and social) to fit an ideological mold. I believe it’s misguided and wrong to ask trans men to disidentify with manhood, to socially detransition, etc. I believe that her confident, repeated advocacy for these views under a banner of (trans-inclusive) radical feminism harmed specific trans people around her.

But I didn’t post with the intent of holding her accountable for those views and afaict they aren’t particularly influential ones anymore. (There are also far more people who believe in some generic transphobic radfem version of this, as Ky Schevers addresses in her writing about ideological detransition.)

 In terms of live issues, I’m frankly more concerned about MYC’s abusive and manipulative patterns towards partners-- I have no idea if MYC’s put any effort into changing her behavior in intimate relationships or even acknowledging the way she’s harmed others. I sincerely hope that she’s on a trajectory towards taking responsibility for and changing those abusive patterns, but as a stranger on the Internet I’m not in a position to litigate that.

 I will note that I believe everyone deserves dignity, and I don’t condone the harassment of MYC-- it only creates more suffering without repairing harm. 

[werewolfchoir]

Teenage me: I’m a worthless person and I deserve to die because I’m not good enough. Everyone around me hates me, and senses that I am bad on sight. I also have constant intrusive thoughts because I think I’m going to do serious harm to others. I’m miserable all the time.

Someone on Tumblr: The famous clown Direct Action is in town. Why don’t you go see him? He will cheer you up.

[werewolfchoir]

Nathaniel is good.

[werewolfchoir]

Now this one actually aged good.

[werewolfchoir]

My break ends soon, but it was ultimately peaceful and pleasant. I’m feeling optimistic about 2020.

[werewolfchoir]

Oof

[werewolfchoir]

I'm just frankly tired of being told that biologically essentialist ideas of gender have no relationship to social systems that cause me suffering, that somehow my interests as a trans person are compatible with ideologies that define me as a immutably a woman and my identity as essentially a disease. Like, being coercively assigned a specific gender caused me so much hurt that I'm willing to put a lot of time and energy into transition, and it causes a lot of people I care about significant pain (regardless of how they personally handle it), so forgive me if I don't buy that people who support essentialist definitions of gender are 100% my political allies.

[werewolfchoir]

Also, people are sorta catching up to the fact that a nb person who sees being afab as very relevant to their ID and politics might sometimes also be a TERF (huge if true!), but expecting that to apply equally to all tme nb and/or trans demographics, even though some tme trans people face greater amounts of harm from the policies that TERFs often advocate, and some tme trans identities make less sense within a TERF framework. It's not that there's something essentially evil about being an afab woman-aligned nb person, but anecdotally that's the tme trans demo I've seen who are most susceptible to that rhetoric. (You don't have to agree with me, obviously.)

[werewolfchoir]

Like, if you want to make a thing of how sometimes terves are transmasc and/or nb, you have to account for the ones who come out as terves in tandem with a detransition or a move away from trans identity, which they then politicize with a really similar lens. Like, if we're going off anecdotal examples. I understand not everyone has witnessed this phenomenon, but I've had the misfortune of being on this website for years. I can think of like four examples off the top of my head, and you can find more by hate-reading detrans Tumblr. I even knew a woman irl who fit this broad archetype. Ugh, sorry, I just think that post misses the point.

[werewolfchoir]

Another day, another popular hot take that completely ignores the convergence of detransition, reidentification, and adopting TERF views, in favor of insisting that being a terf and a transmasc are super duper compatible and that's the end of it.

[werewolfchoir]

Me: Here are some problems with what you said

Them: I don't want to have a discussion so I'm just gonna restate my conclusion and remind you this isn't necessarily representative of my views

Me: Okay, I understand you don't want to have a discussion and this isn't representative of your views, bye

Their followers: Wow, I'm going to reblog OP's response, I felt they really addressed the objections in a compelling way

[werewolfchoir]

<p>As an interpersonal move, it's perfectly legitimate that the person I disagreed with yesterday withdrew from our discussion without addressing my points.</p>

<p>But for the record, their response just restated their conclusion, without addressing any of the issues I raised (maybe clumsily and rudely, I admit). I still believe that, regardless of what OP otherwise believes, the post misrepresented ethical vegetarian arguments, in that there's basically no one who believes it's good to be vegetarian simply because it can be done. Secondly, once again, they're using the example of what exists to argue for what's ethical, which is a pretty basic mistake. So, no, they didn't resolve our disagreement, which isn't morally wrong but it's annoying to see people act like they did.</p>

[werewolfchoir]

I don't know how to content warn for this, but um... Violence CW? Abuse?

~~~

Also, I think he was one of those people who wanted to punch Nazis, partly because he just wanted to punch someone. Make of that what you will, but I do think some people have existing violent impulses that they channel towards "socially acceptable targets". It makes me sad to admit it, and I don't have any advice for people who do community self defense, but it seems like a thing. And when it comes to people like That Guy, it's actually concerning. (Not bc some Nazis get punched, but bc of the combination of "volatile person" and ideological justifications for violence. I don't know how to handle it but it sucks.)

[werewolfchoir]

I just remembered that That Guy called Stalin "maybe an enlightened tyrant".

[werewolfchoir]

Nope, he wasn't a tankie, because that implies a degree of coherence his politics never had. I actually thought he was some kinda anarchist-- iirc, he called himself anti-civ once, but there was also this aesthetic dimension there that felt super unserious to me. Kinda like if you loved cottagecore, so you reverse engineered an ideology around that because OF COURSE farming heals your soul. But instead of pastoralism, think post-apocalyptic video games. Yet I also think he sincerely felt disillusioned with Society, not necessarily in any kind of organized way, tho. I think he felt some kind of underlying malaise that informed the critiques. At the time, I sympathized with that. He seemed genuinely miserable, so I think I shifted from "Let's listen to this guy's cool fresh takes!" to "Let's help this dude not be miserable". However, I don't really miss hearing him monologue to me about his political philosophy. I hope he has someone to talk to (who doesn't validate the ways he's a creep), but I'm not that person.

[werewolfchoir]

I just remembered that That Guy called Stalin "maybe an enlightened tyrant".

[werewolfchoir]

Current status: the sort of place where it seems reasonable to make sticky notes about your mental illness