Dear you,
Im writing this because there was so much left unsaid and I need to get it out of me. First off, I am so incredibly proud of you for getting your life back together.. I knew you could do it. I know I broke your heart when I abandoned you. I feel awful about it everyday. However, you have to put yourself in my position. Your mom told me everything. I felt like our whole relationship was a lie. I asked dalton about the iPhone and he said he never had it. Then, I asked Will about if you paid him back. He told me that he gave you money and you gave it back right away… but then he gave it back to you and you never repaid him. I couldn’t trust you anymore. I try to pretend that I hate you but I can’t. how can I? I loved you. I still do. well, I love the person I thought I knew but who fucking knows if he exists. There hasn’t been a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. its like you have consumed my heart and I can never get free. But how can I go back to you when theres so many lies? I was emotionally drained from you. I haven’t even mentioned the money. Were you ever going to pay me back? or should I add that to the long list of lies? I mean I already have but I always hoped you would at least try to pay me back. even though i wouldn’t accept it. I was a fucking idiot for you. of course I don’t regret our relationship but I wish I never gave you any money. What if you died because I gave you money so you could go get fucking drugs? that would of killed me but of course you wouldn’t of cared if you are a drug addict. I gave you so much and what did I get? oh. a broken heart. Im incapable of loving another soul. You took my love and happiness, and now I have nothing. I am nothing. I don’t remember who I was before you. That night we just held each other in your motel room would of been perfect but then you had to ask for more money. You made me feel like shit and then I told you I couldn’t give you any more money and you were going to fucking break up with me. In the end, I realized the only time you tried to talk to me was when you needed something. money. a ride. anything. and I gave it to you. The day you first tried to break up with me I couldn’t stop crying. I cried at fucking jamba juice and work. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I cried a lot during our relationship to be honest. I worried about you so much. I still do but its nice to know you are doing alright without me. My mom never wants me to talk to you ever again. I know what i felt for you was love but I don’t know if you were even capable of loving another person. I love you and miss you. goodbye.
LC
