What I've Been Pundering @whativebeenpundering - Tumblr Blog

Surfed my usual beach break, but there must have been a dead spot. Definitely wasn’t getting any swell service.

We've got a bad case of the lockdown blues, but our trip to Santa Barbara wine country is Solvang that problem.

I used to monitor the registered sex offenders in my neighborhood closely, but lately they’ve fallen out of my perv-view.

#puns

Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.

#coffin #pun #death puns

A guy tried to sell me a coffin the other day. How ridiculous, that’s the last thing I need.

#puns #coffin #death puns

I opened up a new box of animal crackers today, but then I had to throw the whole thing out. The giraffe was okay, the elephant was okay, but the seal was broken.

#animals #puns #crackers #animal crackers

My friend swears he saw a field of heifers with penises, but I think that's a bunch of bull.

#puns #bull pun #farm pun #cow pun

A zen master walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything".

#puns #zen #hotdog

It was frustrating having to deal with that melanoma, but now I feel so much mole at peace.

#puns #mole #dermatology

My friend wants me to do one of those races where you run, swim, and bike. I think I'm going to tri it.

#puns #triathlon #exercise #workout

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

#puns #mirrors #job puns

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my Word.

#puns #microsoft #computers #word #office

I picked up a box of Italian pastries on my way home from work. I was planning to indulge heavily, but my wife says I cannoli have one.

#puns #cannoli #food humor #Italian #italy

I picked up my shoes from the cobbler yesterday. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

#puns #cobbler #tripping #double pun

I'm so tired of the Wall Street Journal Putin the same articles in the paper each day.

#puns #wall street journal #vladimir putin

Don't underestimate the Patriots just because Vince tore his Achilles tendon. They wilfork you up.

#Vince wilfork #football #patriots #new England patriots #puns

A farmer counted his cows while they were grazing in the field. He counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

#puns #math puns #farmer #rounding #funny math

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