What Not To Say In French

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14 posts

[whatnottosayinfrench]

–via mealiny The next time you're fed-up in a French-speaking country (or French class) and want nothing more than to scream "This sucks!", keep this mini lesson in mind and think before you shout (especially if you're in French class). "Ça suce" does NOT mean "that sucks", as lovers of literal translations would conclude. sucer = to suck on candy, to suck d*** that sucks = ça craint Of course, this advice also applies to situations in which you want to say "you suck". Stay away from "tu suces" and use "t'es nul/chiant" instead.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Though less prevalent than the "l'amour vs. la mort" pronunciation predicament common to French learners, "connard vs. canard" can be equally humorous. connard (m.) = asshole canard (m.) = duck Before you attempt to pull off an insult (note: this blog does not promote verbal violence!), click here to check your pronunciation.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Top post this week (January 8-13): "Elle est bonne"

First of all, a gigantic thanks to all of my new readers, followers and rebloggers. You guys and gals rock! Every Saturday, starting today, I will be highlighting the week's most popular post and responding to any comments associated with that post. Now I know that most of you have resigned yourselves to not learning anything on the weekends, but c'mon: It doesn't get much better than funny French mixed with cute animal photos. This week's favorite by a landslide:

                  COMMENTS tooyoungtobeempty said: "Very nice blog. Though a correction, elle est bonne = she’s hot (as in I would love to f*** her a**). It doesn’t mean that she’s good in bed. >>Yes indeed, you are correct. "She's good in bed" was my euphemistic way of saying exactly what you point out. The big takeaway here, mes amis, is that "elle est bonne" is a vulgar expression that most girls will not appreciate.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

This is a very easy – and embarrassing – mistake to make, so listen up! Once and for all, "préservatif" does NOT mean preservative (like the kind you find in American bread). préservatif = condom So, if you ever want to explain that you like French baguettes because they don't contain preservatives, make sure to talk about "les conservateurs/additifs alimentaires." You'll thank me later.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

--Inspired by @alixmcalpine If getting accustomed to French bathrooms (have you experienced the separation of toilet and shower?) isn't difficult enough, there's always the challenge of correctly asking permission to use them. Avoid the mistake of saying "Puis-je user les toilettes ?" (My I wear out the toilet?) and stick to one of the following instead: Puis-je aller aux toilettes ? Je peux aller aux toilettes ?

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Oh, double standards. They even exist in the French language. Il est bon. = He's a good person. Elle est bonne. = She's good in bed. So, if you want to say that your female friend is good at doing something, focus on the verb rather than trying to translate word for word: She's good at dancing. = Elle danse bien. To say that she is good at something (e.g. math),  make sure to elaborate with one of the following expressions: Elle est bonne en (maths). Elle est forte en (maths).

[whatnottosayinfrench]

TRÈS IMPORTANT: 'Amour' turns out to be one of the trickiest words for English speakers learning French to pronounce. Get this one right, or you'll end up talking about death rather than love. Never a good thing.  Click to listen to the difference in pronunciation.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Although 'travesty' and 'travesti' are undoubtedly related – see etymology – they shouldn't be confused for a properly translated pair. [en] travesty = [fr] parodie, farce  [fr] un travesti = [en] transvestite

[whatnottosayinfrench]

TIP: While pronouncing certain English words in a French accent often transforms that word into its French equivalent, this is not always the case. When in doubt, consulting your favorite French-English dictionary is well worth it. Trust me. On a side note, if you're actually interested in expressing your affinity for beets,* "J'aime les betteraves" is the phrase you'll be needing. *Dwight Schrute would be proud.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Accents, accents, accents... They really do make all the difference in French. pêcher = to fish pécher = to sin So the next time you want to talk about how much your husband enjoys fishing, make sure to watch your spelling and pronunciation.* *For pronunciation help, type both verbs into Google Translate and click the audio button.

[whatnottosayinfrench]

Happy New Year! Bonne année! What you should know so you don't start off 2012 with the wrong type of bang: un baiser = a kiss donner un baiser = to (give a) kiss baiser = to f*** NOTE: "Baisez-moi, je suis américain(e)" does NOT mean "Kiss me, I'm American."

[whatnottosayinfrench]

This is a quick lesson in the dangers of literal translations, and why they can be the death (pun intended) of language learners. The next time you have the urge to utter "Je suis fini", remember the adorable bunnies to the left and speak the words you really mean: "J'ai fini."

[whatnottosayinfrench]

TIP: Unless you have a French lover, delete this phrase from your vocabulary NOW. In its place, try using "J'ai hâte de [te voir, partir en vacances, etc.]."

[whatnottosayinfrench]

TIP: If you absolutely must decline second helpings in France,* say "j'ai bien mangé" instead of "je suis plein(e)". *Highly discouraged