re; @when-anxiety-hits - Tumblr Blog

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In light of a few recent events, I would just like to remind people that it is wrong to shame and stigmatise an entire group of people based on the actions of a minority. Mental illness is not a synonym for “criminal” or “dangerous”.

For the past few days, silence has been my companion. I may be socializing with everyone but deep inside, it’s a struggle. It’s easy to fake a smile, but it’s hard to keep on doing it for a long time. Silence doesn’t always mean rejection or anger. Silence doesn’t always mean “I don’t want to talk to you”. Sometimes, silence means sadness. Fear. Depression. Anxieties. And sometimes, it can be a good thing too. Thinking. Mending. Healing. Contemplating. You don’t have to overanalyze my silence. Sometimes, I just want to be silent. Not to talk to anyone, or not to explain myself. We all have that time when we enjoy the quietness of everything. You don’t have to do anything. You just have to close your eyes and let your contemplating take place.

The problem is, when your thoughts start to devour you. When it turns to overthinking. When it tries to suck all the happiness in your system. When it pulls you away from reality. It’s dangerous if it starts to eat you alive. That’s how you’ll know when silence is too much. Contemplations are replaced with pitiful thoughts. Realizations turn to fear. And then once again, you’re drowning in your own thoughts. You can’t seem to get out of the trance you are in. You are once filled with doubt, and it scares you so much that it will never go away. Your security is replaced with your long time enemy: trust issues. The “heavy anchor” feeling is back in your chest. Every once in a while you get lost in your own thoughts. And a snap from the person you’re conversing with isn’t enough to bring you back to reality.

It’s getting hard to cope with your regular routine. Everything about you seems.. off. You lost that glow everyone was talking about. Dark circles started forming under your eyes. You cry yourself to sleep. You have the appetite to eat but once you remember your thoughts, you seem to lose your appetite. It gets harder and harder to live everyday. And one day you’ll realize, you’re merely existing, not living.

I wish I could do something about this silence. Because another problem about this kind of silence is that it kills me inside, but I can’t do anything about it.

More like I don’t know what to do with it

18:00

this is the moment where i feel a real shift happening inside me this is the place where i leave all my doubts behind and free the anxieties that were holding me back this is the time when i realize that i shouldn't let temporary things blind me also this is the time where i let go all of the childish feelings i harbor for you this is me this is who i am supposed to be change is here and i'm sure as hell that i'm ready for it

17:52

i thought that by creating a new version of me, i will be able to impress people. i thought that if i romanticize my flaws, people will get to understand me better i thought that by compromise, i will feel the 'happiness' that some things offer i thought that if i expressed my feelings like how society does it, i will be happy like other people i thought that if i made myself believe that i can go on with these feelings, i will finally feel guiltless but you know, i thought wrong because as i do those things, as i go on through life doing things i don't usually do, i lost sense of my true self during the process.

wordsnquotes

We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most.

Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday (via wordsnquotes)

wnq-writers

We live with things we have dying out of pain for what we lack.

Aimndoc (via wnq-writers)

wnq-writers

after months of not writing at all and feeling as if I was going to explode I finally wrote a poem and now the words are pouring out of me because everything I’ve been feeling since the dead of winter is rising to the surface and I feel like if I don’t get every thought in my head on paper this very instant I might just fall to the floor stop breathing and get buried in a secluded corner of some midwestern graveyard far away from the other used-to-be-living so I can read and write in peace while the rest of the dead reminisce about holidays lost loves summer evenings and whatever else they can remember from the years when they were living

fullofangstfullofangst (via wnq-writers)

books-n-quotes

One of the reasons why we crave love, and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you.

Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

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(via books-n-quotes)

nothingwithoutwords

I made a home in your arms carved your collarbone to perfectly rest my head slowed your heartbeat so I could fall asleep to the sound of soft footsteps laid your arms tightly around my waist so I would always feel safe no matter where my dreams took me I made a home in your arms so I would always have a place to return, to find solace at the end of a bad dream I knew your arms were there to remind me I was not alone, to rid me of my worst fears and protect me from the bad I made a home in your arms and I don’t know what changed but you began showing up in my nightmares and my head no longer fit in the delicate curve of your neck and I awoke to find you had pushed me aside and you were sound asleep with your arms at your sides

Leigh, day 253 (via nothingwithoutwords)

writer in the movies: dark, brooding, cynical to a fault, graceful, always bursting with ideas, constantly talking like they're reading the dictionary, constantly working on their piece, dedicated to the extent they could lose everything

me as a writer: chokes on popcorn while scrolling tumblr, haven't even looked at my work in a week

wnq-writers

Even the sky couldn’t remain vivid and beautiful while saying goodbye to you. And so like all those who knew you, loved you, cared for you, it mourned. It showed us how we all felt: that life was so much less bright without you here. But I know what’s done is done and can never be taken back. So I hope the sky heals. And I hope that when those who love you look up, they are reminded of you in all your beauty.

luxhor, His Favourite Colour Was Blue (via wnq-writers)

theboywhoreadsbooks

Don’t you love it when you’re like in the opposite of a reading slump? Like, a reading spurt. Every book you pick up is great and your eyes just fly over the words.

wnq-writers

It’s the things left unsaid that matter most.

jadeprincess13 (via wnq-writers)

And I realized that I lost my words when I met you

No

No, don't see me as your foundation because I'm a human being. I always fail. I make mistakes. I disappoint people most of the time. Don't get your hopes up that I'm reliable. I'm not. And that's the truth. You'll just get your heart broken for trusting me too much. I don't even trust myself that much because I know I'll fail. Don't rub in too much confidence that it's okay if I make mistakes because that's the whole point of it. I'm not a believer of this whole thing. I used to believe in friendship. I did. And it was awesome but now? I don't even know anymore. I try to look on the bright side but I can't seem to believe any of those anymore. It's like trusting became a hard limit for me.

nowadays, there are some things that i can't afford to do and some words i dont have the luxury to say. im sorry sunshine but that's how the world works now.

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