I’m sure there are women from all backgrounds who can relate to the feelings of pressure, stigma, frustration, failure, and inadequacy the women in this video express.
But as a white person myself, reading all the comments on this post from white women saying they relate or that these feelings aren’t exclusive to Chinese or other Asian cultures, I need to say that I don’t think this is something white women should claim as their own.
Even if on the surface this seems relatable to you as a white person, this video is not the place for you to talk about your experiences. The concept of “leftover women” or “sheng nu” in Chinese culture and other cultures in East and Southeast Asia isn’t the same thing as having parents who disapprove of your decision not to marry or pressure you to find someone. It goes far beyond just one’s parents. It’s embedded in the culture at large, and represents a far greater stigma than anything a white person from Western culture can understand.
Women all over the world face stigma and judgment for their lifestyle choices, but this video isn’t about women all over the world; it’s about Chinese women. Part of being a feminist is knowing when another woman’s experience isn’t ours to claim, and sharing her voice anyway.
I encourage you to learn more about the concept of “sheng nu” if you’re interested in this issue in modern Chinese society. Some basic resources to get you started: (x)(x)(x)(x)
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