i defy you, heart man

sophie | 24 | very tired and gay

[draculagerard]

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

[is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not]

[baeduan]

trinity santos managed to attract every hot woman in the er, uncover a drug diversion scheme, infiltrate princess and perlah's chismis operation, perform a successful reboa that all the senior residents and attendings are now gossiping about, and put a roof over a homeless sopping wet kitten's head, all on her first day on the job

[royalfig]

I’ve never felt more like a character than I do w her

[afloweroutofstone]

When is Dick Cheney just gonna die already

[afloweroutofstone]

11 years later

[littlebeetlebro]

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

[autumnityk]

[dumbpuppyfag]

[adz]

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

[adz]

nods serenely

[ex-riddlecats]

stop giving hornet boobs and an ass in your horny art either love her flat carapace or leave her alone

[ex-riddlecats]

if this isnt attractive then you dont deserve her

[starful-emporium]

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[baddingtonbitch]

i bet daniel craig and rachel weisz are engaged in forms of full time kink we can't even comprehend. like if he leaves even one speck of crust on her tea sandwiches she puts him in a christening gown and hunts him on their estate

[femalefemur]

the next conclave is going to be called 2 con 2 clave and they have to elect 2 popes

[suigintou]

well yeah. someone has to pilot this thing

[xenosagaepisodeone]

are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel

[teaboot]

I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology

[catasters]

[ralfmaximus]

quastion

[emil]

[homunculus-argument]

My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That's how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you've just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.

[captainsquare]