where i once was

i no longer belong. and i can't go back https://medium.com/@sarahnienhaus21

[whereioncewas]

my inauguration day survival kit

i'm terrified, and if i don't do something about it then i will crash out fr

music (spotify playlists): ‣ "how did we let this happen again? fearing for my rights and future" ‣ because as much as i don't want to, i have to feel these feelings ‣ "in this moment, we are infinite" ‣ inspired by the perks of being a wallflower, this is a good distraction playlist to gaslight myself into thinking everything is okay ‣ any gay playlist to mark my resistance of our political leaders (follow me on spotify @sarahnienhaus for these and many more playlists!) :)

staying busy: ‣ reading!! ‣ i finished ballad of songbirds and snakes ‣ starting every star that falls ‣ playing the sims!!! (one of my favorite distractions) ‣watching mockingjay: part 2 and ballad of songbirds and snakes with my best friend ‣ avoiding conversations with those who may think differently, not because i'm scared of diversity of thought and opinion, but because its personal today and i'm not interested in getting in an argument about my rights.

today may be tough, but hold each other close. our existence is resistance. i fight everyday, just by being alive. we can make it through, together. love you all 🩷

[thoughtkick]

“Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value in you, it’s time for a new start.”

— Unknown

[mothercain]

Beloved Daughters of Cain around the world, coming soon to a record store near you…. At very long last, the tale of Ethel Cain will be told on vinyl. It’s been a long journey to get here, so I’m beyond excited for you to all hold it for yourselves. Thank you again to Matthew Tomasi for helping me bring this record to life, Marlee Kula for carrying it with me since, and everyone else on Team Cain for making this possible. Love you all endlessly, I’ll never stop being proud of us and this project.

Photography by @silkenweinberg , vinyl packaging designed by me. Look for it in stores on January 17th.

[whereioncewas]

screaming crying unable to process

[whereioncewas]

all i want is to feel okay

i don't want to write about my relapse. i don't want to reset the app on my phone that counts the days. i don't want to tell my therapist about this. i don't want to feel this way anymore. i just want to be okay.

when will i feel okay?

~where i once was 12.09.24

[whereioncewas]

i was everything she hated but she was everything i wanted to be

~where i was once 12.07.24

[whereioncewas]

i’m not that girl…

gold hair with a gentle curl, that’s the girl she chose. and heaven knows, i’m not that girl {adapted from Wicked}

~where i once was

[whereioncewas]

things change so quickly

the first time i visited you were in a wheelchair we watched Wild Kratts

the second time i visited you were in your casket we said goodbye to you

the third time i visited you were in your grave we miss you

i miss you, josh

your brother misses you. your sister misses you. your parents miss you. and i, your sister's friend, miss you too.

~where i once was 11.11.24

[whereioncewas]

we are not the same

you voted for lower gas prices and anti-abortion policies. i voted for the rights, dignity, and lives of myself, those i love, and those i do not know. you voted for yourself. i voted for the collective. we are not the same

~where i once was

11.10.24

[whereioncewas]

stay because of the little things

if i have letters to write, i have reasons to stay

~where i once was

11.10.24

[whereioncewas]

my heart is not deceitful, in fact she knows me better than anyone

~ where i once was

11.10.24

[whereioncewas]

death may be inevitable, but first we get to live

[whereioncewas]

i saw the tv glow

i am not the same person as i was 2 hours ago. i will never run from myself again. i will not apologize. i am not afraid. there is still time. i will not let this place win.

~where i once was

11.09.24

[whereioncewas]

hello :)

i'm new here, giving this a shot. let me introduce myself :)

i'm sarah, i am a philosophy student, a senior in college. i am not an artist or a musician or a writer, i do not have a craft, but i have a lot of thoughts. in this place, i can get them out.

i am queer, religiously traumatized, agnostic, and in a christian university.

i hope you'll follow along with me, as i live my life. i have no schedule or agenda here. just to live, to survive. but also to learn to thrive. if there is just one person here - i love you, i see you, thank you for being here and seeing me. if there are thousands of people here - i love you, i see you, thank you for being here and for seeing me.

my tags will be ever growing, but they represent me. you can't know me without knowing the things i love.

sincerely, where i once was

11.09.24