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@whereiserica
Erica became a Bear Tamer
She thought she was taking a job at Cirque de Soleil but it was just the normal circus. She continued to work there and ultimately became the head bear tamer. She is at the peak of her circus career and engaged to an acrobat. She still makes very little money. She doesn't miss her friends at all.
Erica Travels through Time
She discovered a time machine but instead of traveling to the future she traveled to last weekend to take a nap. When she realized that all her time could be "me time" if she stayed in the weekend, she refused to return. She is currently enjoying some full on alcoholism and also died last weekend at the age of 76.
Erica lives inside of a Volcano
She followed google maps right into an active volcano and spends her time reading tea leaves and writing horoscopes. That's what happens when you jump into a volcano and you're not even a virgin. It didn't even improve the village crop yield. Way to go, Erica.
Erica is trapped in a Haunted Painting
She was cat sitting for an ancient bog witch when the cat asked her to solve a cursed riddle. Unable to answer, the cat doomed her soul to inhabit a haunted painting affixed to the wall of her abandoned but mysteriously maintained mansion for eternity. She now spends her time learning to cast spells to end the patriarchy and taking broom riding lessons. There is wine there so it's cool
Erica invented Parachute Panties
She invented parachute panties and died testing them. Not because they didn't work, but because she wasn't wearing them. She left them on the ground in a 7-11 parking lot because she's fun as fuck. Unfortunately, being fun doesn't make you a good inventor. She knows this now.
Erica slapped a Nazi in the face
She slapped a Nazi in the face. Then she taunted him and slapped him a second time. Now she's in jail writing a book called "Ethics of Slapping a Nazi in the Face" while she awaits her trial. What an inspiration! This is the most patriotic I've felt in a long time. We should send her something in jail. Hero.
Post Card Credit: Unusual Cards
Erica was Kidnapped by Pirates
She was kidnapped and held hostage by pirates. No one paid the ransom ($7) While she was held captive she drank like, a LOT of rum and fell in love with the sea. She adopted the name "Black Jack" and now sails the Louisiana Bayou and blogs about her pirate life at BJErica.com (It stands for BLACK JACK!)
Erica has a new life
She had a sex change operation and took a wife so she'd never have to clean again. She has cut ties with all of her friends from her former life lest they expose her terrible secret and ruin everything. Her house is so clean guys, we cannot jeopardize her immense happiness.
Erica Died.
She was poisoned, shot in the head, shot 3 more times, bludgeoned, decapitated and thrown into a river. The cause of death was drowning.
(Just like Rasputin 1916)
Erica was abducted by Aliens
Dear Erica, thank you for the devastating emotional trauma you've inflicted by moving away. I just want you to know that the post cards won't stop. I will also be creating some kind of horrific back story to explain your continued absence. I'm going to start with "Erica was abducted by aliens. Once the tests are completed, she will be allowed to return." (This is also the story of Jesus.)