Hey, I’m a system of 7, and I’m a disaster. How do I life? Bella, who’s 6, wants us to bring stuffed animals to school. Cosmo has the single brain cell not dedicated to BS among us. Leo hasn’t shut up ever and they’re very profane. Cecil is scared of bread. Julian won’t shut up about musicals and is a huge dumbass. Helen will kick ass if shit goes down. Angel wants to lose weight and won’t shut up about it, despite the fact that no one else wants to and we’re worried it’ll go badly. Any advice?
Hey there,I’m not an expert but my answers hopefully help a bit
Let Bella take one or two small plushies to class if you can fit them in your bag or carry them, literally no one will notice and theyre amazing for companionship. We take a mimikyu plushie with us literally everywhere we go and Emulie has saved me from many a breakdown by just being their huggable self.
I’m not sure what to say about Cosmo, but they sound like Makennna, the protector of our system. I hope they’re okay.
Leo might just want someone to listen to. Reach out to some people and see if you can’t get him to talk to people, we’re part of a system discord server if you want to write to us at butterflies-on-my-wrist or this blog. Matt in our system was violent and uncontrollable for a while until we got him talking and making friends. Leo might be lonely by the sound of it.
Cecil probably has good reason to be scared of something like that and you might want to talk to him about why and what caused him to be afraid of it. Talking about it is always the best way to figure out what the problem is.
Julian should be allowed to enjoy musicals, and even if he is less intelligent he isn’t worth any less and should be allowed to be happy.
Helen sounds like a protector, and honestly that’s a protector’s job. If she’s prone to lashing out, though, maybe invest in self defense classes? They’re a great way to help protectors focus and train if they want.
As for Angel, I can’t say I know exactly what to do. But if she needs to, let her talk about why. Is she insecure about the way you all present? Is she obsessing over something unhealthily? Take your time in getting to know why and see if you can’t change her mind.
Most of all, though, when it comes to your system members, treat them like their own selves, separate to you but still connected to the body. I have found that in some systems a lot of problems are caused mainly because system members feel like they’re not being listened to or cared about. Listen to them and appreciate their feelings and opinions on things (unless they’re harmful, in which case you should listen but encourage them to engage in healthy behaviours and to not listen to any kind of intrusive thought) Treat them well and if you need, get help. I’m not a therapist, nor am I an expert on the matter but I hope this helps. We’re rooting for you!