I've shared this art summary on other platforms...without much reflection. And now it's 24 hours later, and I'm feeling VERY REFLECTIVE. As in...I just spent 3+ hours reflecting on the past 14 years--pulling out old sketchbooks, finding out I STILL have a DEVIANTART??, and rifling through a 10-year-old external hard drive. And, apparently, I wasn't prepared to understand myself until this very day.
So for posterity, here's a crash course on my art journey:
As far as I'm aware, my only art summary before this year was in 2011. That was the time I aspired to pursue animation as a career.
Before 2011, I drew as much as anyone else. Doodles, sketches with friends-- sometimes I'd even add color and often it was anime-related.
From 2011-2012 I became relatively serious about the craft. Until 2024, those years had the most completed art pieces I'd ever done. I took AP art and a few art classes outside school. I was chronically on art forums and Deviantart. I went to a national portfolio day and watched Calarts sketchbooks videos.
Fall 2012, I went to community college and was listless. I no longer explicitly planned to pursue drawing (I didn't explicitly plan anything), but the habit was ingrained so I continued to draw as a hobby through 2014. I did studies for fun, drew some OCs, drafted comics, and sketched A LOT of fandom works.
From 2015-2017, the habit was gone but I drew enough to maintain my skill level.
From mid-2017 to mid-2024-- I did not draw. This wasn't art block, this was a mid-life crisis 😂 I didn't think art was in the cards for me, so at best I would doodle every now and again out of curiosity.
AND NOW HERE WE ARE. Mid-2024, Helluva Boss changed my entire brain chemistry ✨ And I'm invested in art probably more so than I was in 2011-2012.
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***And here's where I overshare because I'm still wrapping my head around the experience and future me will be interested in reading this again.
The thing that floored me today as I rifled through my unloved and forgotten sketchbooks, is that I realized I buried myself somewhere around 2014-2015.
That is, I buried Artist Whim.
This year, I MENTALLY STRUGGLED to comprehend how to color. How to do sequential art. How to be more expressive with my line work. What makes facial expressions good anyway? What is visual storytelling? How does one STUDY these things?
Artist Whim didn't question those things-- she literally just DID IT.
I stared in awe at her sketches and composition and recalled merely a feeling of doing them. But I didn't know this girl! I didn't recognize her! How did she do all of that? Where did she learn it?
And I wasn't floored because the technical ability was astounding-- it was the expression! The emotion; the subtle storytelling--the things I've been chasing from an analytical perspective this year because that's the person I've become after all this time.
I literally lost a part of myself and now I'm grappling on how to un-bury her. How can I support and guide her with all the experience I gained in those years away from art? How do I let her take the reigns? Can I remember how to be that person without anxiety and perfectionism burying her again?
And the answer...? Mmm...still thinking about it.
*BREATHES OUT*
This year was amazing for art. I love the HB art community. I love creating for it. I absolutely love cheerleading and feasting within it. It's ignited me in a way that aligns with who I want to become and I'm excited to see where it leads.
I have NO CLUE if my art progressed a lot since June. I've experimented a lot, and HB is a very particular art style. It's difficult to know the difference between improvement and stylization. I feel like I've been catching up to past me for the most part, but I'm VERY invigorated to continue flowing on this path.
Here's to embracing our authenticity and continuing to grow in 2025 🥂✨
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