Notes From A Girl To The World

This is more for me than it is you.

[whimzyflower]

I’m far from something that somebody could describe as perfect. I’m a lot of things, in fact, though perfect. I wouldn’t put on that list.

What good would being perfect do?

If I was perfect, would I have already found the love of my life? But then again, what’s the point of being loved for somebody that you’re not.

I’d much rather be hated for who I am, than loved for what I’m not.

You can tell me that I’m too loud, not that funny, indecisive, too excitable. In fact, you can tell me a whole bunch of things that I am. You can even tell me you don’t like any of it. But I guess what I’m saying is, what does it matter if you don’t? I’m not living my life for you. You can be whatever you want. And if that’s alright with you, I think I’m just going to keep being whatever I want, whenever I want.

[whimzyflower]

I just discovered that I’ve apparently never deleted a single Instagram post or story. Ever. They go all the way back to sixth grade.

Which, evidently, means 22-year-old me is the least embarrassing version of myself to exist on the internet thus far.

So I think I’m going to make a highlight on my page where I will repost things from my archives whenever I feel embarrassed about something new I posted, or whenever I find myself taking things too seriously.

Because 12 year-old me will surely put me right back in my place. 

Exposure therapy

[whimzyflower]

A guy says he loves me, should I…

Block him?

Get love bombed again?

Voting ended onJul 2

[whimzyflower]

He said the color yellow reminded him of me, and that I was like a baby flower, not scary at all.

Then he nicknamed me Whimzy, because I’m a deep thinker and everything means something to me and I’m too whimsical.

Now he has a girlfriend.

Moral of the story men are liars, and you can’t trust a thing they say.

[whimzyflower]

Do you think if I keep telling myself I don’t care eventually I won’t?



[simplyxdreaming]

[loveyladyfingers07]

[whimzyflower]

I was just thinking the other day, why is it that I only like guys who don’t like me, or at least guys who are emotionally unavailable?

As a girl who all of her friends would tell you is endlessly complaining about how nobody likes her, you and I would both be shocked when faced with the evidence. Because it’s overwhelmingly clear that my claim that nobody likes me is false. It just seems that nobody I like likes me.

It kind of almost now feels like a curse. Like the moment that I meet a guy and at some point decide that I’d like him, POOF, he’s gone. He’s no longer liking all of my Instagram stories, no longer sending me selfies at work, which an odd amount of guys love doing.

So here I am, almost completely ignoring every guy who is showing me interest, and instead being completely, and very privately, devoted to loving men who have absolutely no time for a relationship, don’t see me in a dating type of way, text me whenever they feel like it, or best of all, are never physically around enough. When they are around though, it’s like I’m the only girl in the world. Which I choose to ignorantly believe.

I wonder if my ADHD specifically enjoys this type of relationship. I mean, the unpredictable attention is kind of literally a variable reward system, which I guess would mean that the uncertainty of their actions would scientifically make my brain stay invested.

Or maybe I just have issues.

It’s fine though. I’m sure any day now one of these guys will show up to my house standing in the rain with red puffy eyes because he’s been crying about how much he loves me and he can’t spend another minute pretending he doesn’t.

[whimzyflower]

This sucks. Why tf would LinkedIn tell people that I viewed their profile?? Why did nobody tell me that it did that? Very frustrating, because now a bunch of people know that I’ve been stalking them online.

I mean, congrats to them and their professional achievements, but by the looks of their posts, they don’t really need the ego boost.

Also, why is nobody stalking my LinkedIn profile? More specifically, why are no hot guys stalking my LinkedIn profile? This is deeply upsetting.