Unoriginal Origins

She/Her 28 ~ I have no idea what I am doing ~ looking to make some friends along the way

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

in my head is where i write our story

in my head is where i don't have to be sorry

the guilt and shame of wanting something you can't have degrades your spirit

so in my mind is where i keep you, where i keep us

i try not to indulge as it makes reality bitter and boring

these intrusive thoughts are fantasies and what ifs

somewhere sometime there is a place for us

just not here, or now

be patient they say

be thankful they say

don't want too much

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

what is heartache if your heart is already full?

i am loved to the brim yet i still ache for something more

what is more?

can there really be more than this?

i am full but the loneliness seeps in like the cold

i am frigid and left wanting for just a little warmth

all while i am engulfed by the sun

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

bittersweet endings

being friends is harder then you would expect

try not being yourself

try stuffing your feelings away for a rainy day

be you, but not you at the same time

never show how you actually feel or you'll ruin it for everyone

even if you wanted to share how you feel no one would care

you'll only suffer more

so hide it away and keep it locked up

only time will fade the lock in to oblivion

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

have your fun now but don't get too attached

you're not meant for him

be free and try your best but don't end up heartbroken...again

focus on the now

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

nothing will fix this

existence goes on

life is a trap formed by one decision after another

enjoy the spiderweb trap you have weaved

be grateful you haven't been eaten yet

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

i wait for small moments

a brush of hands

the sound of your laughter

an innocent hug

our knees touching in secret

anything to be close to you

to feel that electric current pulling me in

do you feel it too?

i wait for those small moments

i cherish every one

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

sometimes i feel like the only one

the only one holding on to this

holding out for a maybe someday

trying to keep my feelings afloat

trying to not drown in the sorrow of the word never

i know you're busy

but it would be nice to hear you say

maybe

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

i know you're tired and strained

i've cried one too many times over nothing

over us

i know how you are

fighting for yourself is not on your agenda

slow relaxed acceptance is all you can muster

it makes me want to scream

but it's not my place

it will never be my place

i love too strong

i will cry one too many times again and again

over nothing

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

i remember those brief kisses we shared on those stairs

those little chats just between me and you

i remember wanting you before i was even a thought on your mind

reaching out to you hoping you would like me too

i remember the bitter feeling after you left

my tears were frozen over

it felt like theft

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

i shouldn't care

i shouldn't care how long your hair is

i shouldn't care what makes you smile

i shouldn't care who you choose to love

i shouldn't care

you don't

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

Is it wrong to cry over something you've never had?

Something you've never lost

The empty space around me is suffocating

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

if i could have you

only for a moment

if i could feel you inside of me

only for a moment

if your lips could touch my skin

only for a moment

if your sweat could intertwine with my sweat

only for a moment

if your whispers in my ear could melt my heart

only for a moment

and if being with you makes me feel something that i have never

felt before

even if the feelings is

only for a moment

then i will let my intentions be known to the universe that i

would want to experience all of you

for at least

one moment

because i desire to be with you

even if

it's only for a moment

Evolution of Awareness by Kia Marlene

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

why does it feel like my heart is broken

before we ever fell in love

why does this relationship feel like it's over

before it even started

why does this feel like a goodbye

before and official hello

why does this feel like something that i've felt before

Evolution of Awareness by Kia Marlene

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

i want to be your favorite book

i want you to open me up and never let me go

i want you to read between my lines

highlight your favorite parts of me

inner-stand the language of my soul

look into my eyes and discover my previous editions

rub your fingertips across the words on my heart

decode the chapters of my being

study the paragraphs of my mind

allow my body to be your homework

overstand the meaning of my existence in your world

hold me as though you couldn't possibly put me down

you won't need a bookmark

because you'll never get tired of turning my pages

i want to be your favorite book

Evolution of Awareness by Kia Marlene

[whiskerwhimsywriting]

Time is the longest distance between two places ~ Tennessee Williams

Sometimes those places will never be