clark kent x gn!reader
— not even going to title this one because it is just a self-indulgent blurb. reader having a small panic attack over a phone call they had for their job as a journalist and clark finding them in the stairwell. yay. yes. that is all.
word count: 839
a/n: he's just so scrumptious, bro. come onnnnn.
It was punishment enough that Clark Kent was your co-worker. The dorky journalist who had somehow managed to weasel his way into your heart without even trying. Literally. He barely had to look your way for you to get flustered and unable to think straight. But of course, the universe just had to grant you with the ability to have panic attacks on a whim, hm?
A bad lead, a terribly construed phone call, and now you were pacing back and forth at the top of the stairwell, hair mused and bottom lip tightly held between your teeth. Blood would soon blossom if you weren't careful, but at the moment, you cared little for it.
Being a journalist was difficult. You had to be tough, had to be able to do what whatever it was to get the story. That's what you had tried, that's what you always tried, and each time you did, it chipped away at your resolve little by little.
Maybe you'd take up your friend's offer and work at the coffee shop she was at. It would be a hell of a lot better than whatever the hell was going on now.
Anything would be better than your racing mind, your inability to calm it, your inability to hear the stairwell door opening and the shuffling of one Clark Kent. His voice drew you from your thoughts almost instantly.
"You alright there?"
Your eyes widened and you looked over your shoulder, quickly turning to face him. Your hands dropped by your sides, breath hitching in your throat.
"Mhm," you supplied, though the sound alone was enough to let Clark know everything he needed to. He made no move to step closer, brows cinched together in that oh-so-familiar way.
"You sure about that?"
Your lips parted to agree, or object, or God, you didn't know because what left your lips definitely wasn't what you wanted to say.
"I'm quitting. I have to quit. I can't keep doing this, I'm—"
Clark stepped forward, a hand raised in a placating manner. "Hey," he began, your name leaving his lips soon after. "Come on. Take a deep breath. What happened?"
Your hands rubbed your face in frustration and you silently cursed yourself, hoping that the product you had on your face hadn't moved in the slightest. You groaned softly and crossed your arms over your chest, taking a breath.
"Bad call," you said, shaking your head. "Bad lead. I thought... well, I..."
"Did they threaten you?"
His voice catches your attention once more. You glanced up at him, frowning deeply.
"No, I... I don't even know why I'm freaking out like this," you admitted. "I just... I called, asked a few questions, and then they went on this long tirade that only ended because I hung up the phone." You huffed and looked away from Clark once more.
"Surely that's not the only thing that's got you so upset," he said. He glanced over at your bag which laid on the concrete floor. In one swift movement, he picked up the bag and looked at you. He threw the strap over his shoulder.
God, the man could have taken everything in your bag, stolen every last dime, and you think you would have let him without complaint.
"No, I... I guess it's just..." What was it? The way that your life was going at the moment, your landlord, your shitty social life. It was as if everything was collapsing all around you and a phone call at work sent you over the edge.
"Come on," Clark said, motioning to the stairs. "There's a café not too far from here that I've been meaning to try. You think you can manage?"
You snorted softly. "Is caffeine the best thing for me right now?"
"They have other things," he said, haphazardly mentioning your favorite beverage in the process. "They have pretty much anything you could think of. May even be a good place to write an article for if you needed to."
You eyed him warily for a moment. "You want to go with me?"
"Wouldn't have asked you if I didn't," he said, a soft smile on his lips.
For all the faults of your job, it sure as hell had some pretty people floating through the reports and keyboards.
"That... sounds nice," you said.
As he began to descend down the stairs, you followed.
"You're not going to tell anyone about my meltdown, are you?" you asked.
He glanced up at you, a slightly admonished look on his handsome face. "Do I look like the kind of guy who would do that?" His smile alone was enough to placate your momentary fears, reminding you why you had taken a liking to the man in the first place.
He was kind to you even when it didn't matter. He had calmed you down with just his presence, even if you had yet to realize it.
Oh, yeah, fourth freakout of the month aside, you were down bad for the man.
Summary: One bed trope! Stuck with John in Siberia!
Harsh, cold winds smacked against you and John as you trudged to the nearest hotel. Stomping the snow off your boots, you and John burst through the doors, warmth flooding your senses. John stalked toward the front desk and started speaking to the man, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but talking to John.
"English?! Do you speak-ugh, forget it!" John shoved his hand into his pocket and slapped some euros on the desk. "A room. Two beds!" John held up two fingers to get his point across.
Your eyes traced John's angry expression as the man behind the desk grabbed the money. John turned to you, soft snow crystals nestled in his hair and beard before pointing to the man. "Can you believe it? He doesn't speak English!"
"Well, we are in Siberia, John." You roll your eyes. "I think the snow froze your thinking."
The man behind the desk held out a key, and you gently took it from him. "Thank you."
As you and John started to walk away, the man started to mutter under his breath. "Crazy American."
John's eyes narrowed, and he tapped your shoulder. "Did you hear that? He can speak English!" He went to turn back around, but you grabbed his tactical belt and dragged him to the room.
"Come on." You shoved the key into the lock and opened the door.
The room was small, but it was better than freezing to death outside. A singular bed lay against the wall and you frowned. John's voice came behind you in a deep rumble.
"Guess we're getting cozy tonight. "
You elbowed his stomach, causing him to let out a pained exhaled. "No funny business Walker."
Both of you took turns taking showers and getting out of your cold clothes. John had suggested you both "conserve" water by showering together but you gave him a hard pass. You tried to fiddle with the comms but you couldn't get anything. Being stranded in Siberia was totally on your bucket list. John exited the bathroom wearing a soft faded Army t shirt and some gray sweatpants. His hair was still damp and you watched as a few water droplets trailed down his neck before disappearing into his shirt. He looked tired.
"Hey." You toss him the comms. "Couldn't get anything."
He caught them with ease. he rolled them between his fingers before setting them down. "We'll try again in the morning. We need to rest." He slipped into the lifting the covers over himself. You turned off the light and settled in one of the corner chairs.
After a few minutes, John peeked his head up. He blinked a few times in the darkness before settling on you. "You okay?" His voice was soft, no hint of his usual cockiness.
"Yeah, I'm okay." Were you though? Your mind was racing with all sorts of scenarios about how the mission could have gone better or how you were gonna get out of Siberia. John grunted in response before sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes.
"I'm not buying it. But I promise we'll figure everything out. You're not hurt, are you?" His voice took a concerned edge. "Frostbite? Hypothermia?"
You shook your head. "No, no, I'm fine."
He seemed to take a relieved exhale. "Good, I don't like seeing you hurt. Now would you come to bed, so we can sleep."
It had been a long time since you've slept by someone. You decided not to risk it. "I, um, I'll keep watch."
John sighed and ran a hand over his tired face. "Don't make me go over there and drag you. I won't bite...unless you want me to." He chuckled softly but when he saw no signs of amusement on your face he grunted. "Sorry, just come to bed."
You could see the soft reflection of the moon in his blue irises and you couldn't say no. You made your way over to the bed and John quickly tucked you against him. The bed was small so you really had no choice. Warmth blossomed against your body and you found yourself enjoying it. John's breath tickled the back of your neck.
"I've got you. Go to sleep."
You decided not to fight sleep any longer and relaxed against him. He hummed in approval and gently tightened his grip. "Good girl."
~~~~~
Sharp banging startled the both of you awake. John instinctively pulled you tight against him as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. His beard gently scratched the back of your neck as he shushed quietly against your hairline. The banging happened again, this time followed with a disgruntled, "It Bucky, open up."
The both of you relaxed and John quickly moved to open the door. Bucky was standing there, a smug look on his face. "You two okay?"
You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and John nodded his head and spoke, his voice still raspy from sleep. "Yeah, we're fine. Thanks for coming to get us. How'd you find us?"
"Your suits have trackers." Bucky tapped the doorframe and clapped his hands together. "Jet's outside. be ready in 10."
He was about to walk away but he turned around and said. "Also, did you know they speak English here? Crazy."
“I watched Noah as a young man go through this complete loss of his anonymity. He has dealt with it by becoming open and curious and available to people, which not everybody does. He’s very intelligent, very well read and fantastically empathetic. Honestly, he’s one of the great human beings in my life.” ~John Wells, executive producer of “ER” and “The Pitt”
I'm heartbroken. I can't believe he's gone. To those of you who have been following me a while, you'll know Val Kilmer was very dear to me. Tom Kazansky, Iceman, from Top Gun has been and still is my number one fictional man 💕
My friend @sitkafay said I should write out something to express my feelings. I responded I didn't know what to write, but then an idea came to me. There's only one way really I know how to write things: In the form of a fic. So, I hope this is okay. I hope this fic can bring us all a bit of peace in his loss.
Yes, he was a celebrity, but he was an actor who made an impact. He'll be missed dearly by all his fans.
Also, thank you to everyone who came to check on me after the news. I am truly devastated by his loss, but Tom Kazansky will always be here on my page. 💗
When Jade arrives at the house with her husband, Ron, in tow, it's quiet. Too quiet. Never have they ever known the Kazansky house to be so silent. Any other time this house would be full of laughter and chatter. The door was always open to those dropping by. Even now the door is unlocked. They were expected to come.
Walking into the main hall, they are met with even more silence. It felt wrong. Silence didn't belong in these halls, and Jade wishes with all her being that she could change it.
But she can't.
Her husband kisses her forehead and lets her find Rachael on her own. Because right now all Dragon needed was her Whiskey, as strange as that sounds.
Jade heads upstairs, taking her time. All along the wall are framed photos of a life lived. From Polaroids to photos taken from the kids' phones as they grew up. A whole lifetime.
The bedroom door is open a crack. Jade can hear soft sniffling from inside. Her heart broke knowing her friend was suffering. She doesn't even knock. Jade enters the bedroom and within seconds the other woman is on her arms sobbing.
It's not silent anymore.
The house is full of heartbreak and loss. A broken woman who doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. What does someone do when the love of their life is gone? Jade doesn't hold the answer. Slider is still here, downstairs. Ice is not. Tom is gone and Rachael is alone.
No, not alone. She'll never be alone, but a piece of her will always be missing.
Jade lets her cry until she can't no more. She guides Rachael to the bed and they both sit down. Jade doesn't say anything. She doesn't even try and make Rachael say anything. They just hold each other until Rachael's voice is hoarse and the crying stops.
“He's gone.” Her voice sounds lost and broken.
“I know,” is all Jade can think to say, rubbing her back gently.
“It's not fair. He should still be here. He… He…” She sobs again. Jade pulls her in close. “He's gone…”
Jade isn't sure how long they both stay like that for. It feels like minutes but also hours at the same time. Time means nothing in this room.
“I can't… I can't even sleep in here.”
“No, I know.” Jade kisses the top of her head and runs her fingers through her hair. Oh, how her heart aches for her friend. This was never going to be easy.
The room fills with only sobbing again. Jade tries to comfort her friend, but there's only so much she can do. She can't take away her pain.
Eventually, Ron pokes his head around through the door. Jade looks up and smiles softly at him, but her smile doesn't reach her eyes. As soon as Rachael spots Ron she gets up and gives him a hug. It's one of those big bear hugs that make you feel safe and at home. Ron lets his own tears flow.
“God, I'm so sorry.” She whispers in his ear.
“You're sorry? I'm sorry.” He says back to her.
They hold each other in this moment of peace. Though she's surrounded by two very dear friends, there's still a hole of where someone else is supposed to be. The group of four is down to three. It feels wrong somehow.
Ron takes her hands in his. “Whatever you need, we're here.”
“Thank you."
She turns toward the bed where a box sits. At first she doesn't say anything, she just stares at it. The other two follow her gaze. “It has some of his belongings in it.” Rachael walks over to the box and pulls it forward, peering inside. Jade and Ron flank her on either side to also look in it.
His aviators sit on top of everything else. Rachael picks them up and looks at them. “These old things… he's had these since day one.”
“The original?” Ron asks.
“The original,” she nods.
She sets them aside and lifts up a photo frame. “This is the photo from his office. I thought maybe you would want it, Slider.” She hands the frame over. It's the Top Gun photo.
Ron look at it quietly and nods, “I'll keep it safe.” He holds it to his chest.
The next item that comes out of the box is a leather bound journal. Rachael runs her hand down the worn out cover. “I was hoping to give this to Pete…”
“What is it?” Jade asks.
“A diary. This one specifically is from his time in Top Gun. He wrote about pretty much everyone in that class. There's a lot of comments about Pete on it, but I think it's stuff he'd like to hear.”
“He will come,” Jade says.
“Will he?”
Ron runs a hand down his face. He has no words to offer her. He can't make Maverick show up, but he hopes the man does.
At the bottom of the box is a few more items belonging to Tom, but they're just little things Rachael wanted to give to people who were dear to him, her found family mainly.
Jade wraps her arm around her shoulder ams pulls her in close. Rachael hugs the journal to her chest and cries again. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. Don't ever be sorry.”
“What am I going to do without him?” She cries. “He's always just… been there… and now he's not.”
Jade wraps both her arms around her now and holds her tight. There is nothing any of them can do to make this better. The pain won't just go away overnight.
Later that evening, Ron and Jade sit in the living room of the Kazansky house. Rachael is fast asleep upstairs. It took Jade a while to calm her down enough to get her to sleep, but she managed. Rachael hadn't eaten anything. Jade didn't force her to.
Her husband had just passed away, how can anyone expect to be okay after that?
Ron wraps his arm around his wife and kisses her head softly. They can't even bring themselves to turn the TV on.
“The house is too quiet.”
“The others will be here tomorrow. She asks us here first because she needed us,” Ron says softly.
“I know, but still… It feels wrong.”
He gives her a squeeze. It does feel wrong. He can feel it. Everyone feels the same. But no one is feeling pain more than their Dragon is upstairs.
“In time, we'll be okay.”
Jade nods quietly. A moment later, her phone starts ringing on the coffee table. She gets up and answers it. Ron watches her go into the kitchen and then tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling. He sighs.
The next morning, Rachael wakes up with a pounding headache. As the world comes into focus, a gasp catches in her throat. She's in their bed… her bed now. She hadn't slept in this room since he passed. Now, she was waking up to half an empty bed and a completely broken heart.
Tears come to her eyes as she stares at his untouched pillow. He was here only a few days ago, now he's gone. She reaches out and strokes the pillow gently. It's cold to the touch, but she can almost see him lying there looking at her with his beautiful blue eyes.
A sob breaks from her lips and she buries her face in her own pillow, clutching the bed covers tight. She would never wake up beside him again.
There's a soft knock at the door. Jade doesn't wait for her answer. She pushes open the door and pokes her head in. When she sees the state of her friend her heart aches for her. Jade enters the rook and sits on the edge of the bed. She strokes Rachael's hair gently. “Come on, sweetheart. You need to get up.”
“I don't want to…”
“No one wants to do this, but he deserves the send off. Come on, let's go eat.” Jade urges her friend up out of the bed and holds her hand as they go downstairs. Ron is in the kitchen cooking up a mighty breakfast. Jade guides Rachael into a chair and pours her some juice and some coffee. Ron dishes up the food and joins the two ladies at the table. No one talks as they butter their toast and tuck into their food.
Jade keeps an eye on Rachael. She worries about her. Today was the last goodbye and she feared her friend wasn't up to it, but she had to be. Jade refused to leave her friend's side for a moment. She reaches out and grasps Rachael’s shaky hand and gives it a squeeze.
Rachael can't even get through a slice of toast without tears breaking out. Jade gets up and pulls her into another hug. “It's okay. It's going to be okay.”
As Jade calms her down there's a knock at the door. Ron gets up to answer it. When he opens the door he sees Lucky. Bailey, Ice's pride and joy. She immediately falls into his arms and cries in his chest. Ron holds her tight.
Rachael stands at the end of the hall. She knew who it was who had come and she needed to see her. Bailey freed herself from Ron's arms to run to Rachael. Dragon caught her in her arms and held her tight to her chest. Lucky cried in her mama's arms. Rachael held her close and rocked her gently.
“It's going to be okay,” she whispers. Though Rachael wasn't sure which one of them she was trying to comfort.
Lucky couldn't stop crying. Rachael had never seen her girl cry so much. Though no one had seen Dragon cry so much either. Ron and Jade give the girls a bit of alone time.
Eventually, everyone gathers around the breakfast table again. Lucky sits next to Dragon, needing her mother's comfort. They both manage to eat something. Conversation was sparse, though.
Once breakfast is over, Ron works on clearing the table. Bailey goes to help him, leaving Jade and Rachael alone again. Jade insists on helping Rachael get ready for today. As much as Rachael hates to think about it, she knows she has to do this.
The two of them go upstairs. Rachael goes into the bathroom to shower and clean up herself. She hadn't taken proper care of herself these past few days. Tom would have hated knowing that.
Jade set out Rachael's outfit on the bed. She had picked it up yesterday for her before coming to the house, as well as her own. Jade got changed while she waited for her friend. She was in the process of doing her hair when Rachael came out wrapped in a towel. Jade smiled and kissed her forehead. “For luck,” she whispered.
Rachael smiled and sat on her bed to dry her hair. The two of them spent the next hour getting ready. Mainly, getting Rachael ready. Jade sorted her hair and make-up for her. Rachael was grateful she was there. She couldn't have done this on her own.
There's a knock at the door and then Lucky enters. Rachael smiles at the sight of her. Bailey was dressed and ready to go. Rachael reaches out and takes her hands in hers. They both squeeze gently.
“You look beautiful,” Rachael whispers softly.
“So do you,” Bailey smiles back.
They hug and hold each other for a while. It's Ron who disrupts the moment by entering the room. “The cars are here.”
Rachael grabs her purse and takes a deep breath. She looks at the bed for a moment. She keeps expecting him to show up, but she knows he won't.
Bailey loops her arm with Rachael's and they leave together. Rachael and Bailey get in one car, Jade and Ron get in the other. They head to the cemetery.
The car ride is quiet. Bailey doesn't let go of Rachael's hand. Both of them look out the window the whole ride there.
When they arrive, Rachall takes a deep breath. Bailey gives her hand another squeeze. “We can do this.”
“We can,” Rachael says, looking at her. They smile at each other and then climb out of the car. Jade and Ron join them and they walk up the footpath.
Now it's all real.
Rachael struggles to hold back her tears as her eyes land on the coffin. A photo of Tom stands upright behind it. She has to cover her mouth to not sob too loudly, though no one would blame her. All eyes were on her as she approached the coffin. Bailey bursts into tears again, and Ron pulls her into his side. Jade lets Rachael go on her own to approach the coffin.
Slowly, she reaches out and brushes her fingers along the top. Her vision blurs from the amount of tears running down her face.
“I love you,” she whispers.
She could almost hear him saying it back. She nearly smiles. She turns slowly and finds everyone watching her. Her family, the Top Gun recruits, old friends.
Jade holds her hand as she guides her to her seat. The ceremony begins. Rachael can hardly focus. She can't tear her gaze from his picture. It's almost like he's right there in front of her. She half expects him to smile and hold out his hand to her. She'd take and they'd kiss and dance and just be together as it should be.
But none of that happens.
All those in uniform perform the usual send off for a Navy officer. The flag is placed over the coffin.
She's then asked to say some words.
Rachael hadn't planned anything. She had been far too upset to sit and think of what to say. How can anyone think of what to say at their soulmate's funeral?
She stands on shaky legs, Jade giving her a supportive pat on her back. Rachael approaches the stand next to the coffin. Her eyes are focused on it until she comes to a stop. She takes a deep breath and faces everyone.
“I…”
What does she say? She could go with the usual funeral speech most people use… or she could find it within her heart to be honest and share how she really feels.
Just as she opens her mouth to try and speak again, someone catches her eye. He's in uniform coming toward the ceremony.
Maverick. Pete.
He catches her eye and nods at her silently. Rachael smiles. He's here. Everyone is here, and everything will be okay.
“Tom Kazansky was a lot of things to a lot of different people. Many of you knew him as Admiral Kazansky. Others knew him since he himself was a lieutenant. I always just knew him as Tom. We met many years ago, before the Navy. Dated for a while, broke up, and then got reunited again. The universe was sending us a sign. Our relationship sparked once more and from the second we both realised we couldn't be without one another, our future was set.”
She looks at the coffin again. “Tom was many things. A determined and confident pilot. A flirty and cocky gentleman.” A few people laugh. “But he was also kind, gentle, and romantic. Tom cared for those he deemed friends, and even more so for those he considered family. It's because of Tom I have the family I do today. A found family, and I wouldn't trade a single one of you for anything.”
Rachael wipes the tears from her face and looks at everyone again. “I hope you all know how much you all meant to him.” She looks at the coffin again, “and how much he meant to me.” She places her hand over her heart. “I miss him forever and always, just as much as I love him. Tom, this is my last goodbye to you, but I hope even now you know you are mine always. I love you.”
The tears run again, but this time it isn't Jade who comforts her, it's Pete. Mav takes her in his arms and hugs her tight. She returns the hug. Everyone is silent as they watch.
“I've got you,” Pete whispers.
“Thank you,” she whispers back. “For everything.” She lifts her head and looks up at him. “I'm glad you came.”
“I wasn't even going to miss it.”
“I know, but still, I'm glad to see you.”
“You too, sweetheart.”
Pete reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, holding it out to her. Rachael takes it from his hand and holds it in her open palm.
“His dog tags,” she whispers.
“I think you should have them.”
Rachael clutches them to her chest. “Thank you.”
Pete takes them and puts them on her so she can wear them. Rachael clutches them in her hand and squeezes gently. He'll always be with her. Always.
Pete guides her back to her chair. The ceremony ends with jets flying overhead. Rachael finds herself looking at the coffin again. He still feels so close, yet so far away.
As others break away and go off to greet others, Rachael walks back to the coffin. Once more she places her hand on top of it. She feels warm, the same warmth She used to get from him.
“I'm going to miss you every day. I can't believe you left me… but… I know I'm not going to be alone.” Rachael glances behind her at the group. “I'll never be alone.” She looks back at the coffin. “I'll be visiting often. You can't escape my company, even in death,” she smiles. “I love you, Tom. Always and forever.”
The Hard Deck is open, but only for the funeral. Penny made certain no one else could come in tonight. Drinks would be discounted, and she still had to make a living, you know. She had also prepared a wonderful buffet for everyone.
Rachael entered with Pete in tow. He got her a drink and she down half of it there and then.
“Slow down, sweetheart.”
“I needed it.”
He chuckles softly and keeps his arm around your shoulders as she thanks people who come over to her. Once she's alone again she sigh. “It feels weird.”
“Yeah…” He agrees.
“I can't believe he's gone.”
“Me either.”
Rachael and Pete share a look. So many words are spoken without being said. A huge part of their lives is gone.
“You know, he loved you more than life itself,” Pete says with a gentle tone.
“Yeah,” Rachael smiles. “I know. He made sure I knew it every day.”
They both chuckle.
“Life is going to feel weird for a while, but soon enough, we'll crack on as we always do. The world is still turning and we're still here. Believe me, that house will never be empty,” Pete grins.
“It never really was,” Rachael chuckles. “I couldn't have done any of this without all of you beside me. I never want to feel lonely, I never can be with you lot.”
“And that's how it should be.”
They both raise their glasses. “To Ice,” Mav says.
“To Tom,” she replies.
They drink in his honour.
Dragon without Ice is like a jigsaw with a piece that doesn't quite fit. She'll never be complete, but she'll also always be okay. She'll miss him for the rest of her life as there was no one quite like Tom Kazansky in her life. He was unique and wonderful and everything she could have wanted.
Now he's gone.
She'll be okay in time. She has a family beside her to keep her on her feet, and whenever she's feeling sad or lonely, they'll be right there to cheer her up.
The pain will never go away, but it will get easier to handle.
