sorry but "stemi with me, mel!" is soooo fucking buzzy. like even as a silly adhd guy, if it was anyone else like whitaker or javadi, he would not fucking say that, right? that's mel, that's his girl. from like minute one. maybe not love at first sight but definitely something much much weirder and just as powerful. that's why she almost hugged him after being gone ten months and why he remembers their little inside joke. god.
i wish spencer reid was real so he could info dump about something to me right now. i think that would cure all of my mental illnesses. somebody prescribe me early seasons autistic spencer reid.
Summary: You want to build a cyberdeck. Spencer knows someone who can help, but doing so means meeting one of his friends from the FBI, and convincing her of your 'relationship'.
Contents: 4k words, FLUFF, prof!reader with glasses, no use of y/n, fake relationship, misuse of engineering and programming terminology (sorry lmfao), PENELOPE GARCIA CAMEO
A/N: PENELOPE MEETS PROF!READER CAN I GET AN AMEN. The thought of Spencer holding a screwdriver is so fucking hot to me ndfksf. No clue if any of my cyberdeck talk is coherent, I watched three tiktok videos and made up some bullshit. Takes place after I Don't Even Dare... but before Black Tie.
ā³ Save the Date masterlist
"You have a degree in engineering, right?"
Spencer blinks, setting his mug of coffee down before he nods.
"Why's this relevant?" he eyes the pile of 19th century research spread across your side of the table in the cafe as if he's already calculating how to link those two topics. It's not unusual at this pointāyou've found ways to discuss subjects that seem even more unrelated. But the structural integrity of 19th century buildings and their textual symbolism isn't what you're worried about right now.
"I'm just curious if you still remember like, the basics and stuff."
He looks affronted. "I've got an eidetic memory."
"I know, but your current field of expertise isn't exactly about electrical engineering, is it?"
"I hold a PhD. in engineering, I would still know more than a regular person."
"Okay then," you say, opening your phone for a photo. You hand it over to him, curiousity sparking your tone, "Can you explain what a cyberdeck is and how I'd go about building one?"
He pauses and stares at the photo of a cyberdeck on your phone. His mouth drops to an 'o' like he's about to spout his usual trail of facts, only to reconsider.
"A cyberdeck?" his face twists as if the word burns on his tongue, "Like the computers they use in cyberpunk games?"
"Uh huh. How would someone make one in real life? A functional one."
"I wasn't even aware it's something people made. Doesn't it seem counterintuitive, when there are laptops and phones that are programmed to do the same thing?"
"Yeah, but people make it for all sorts of reasons. To practice programming, have their own storage and avoid clouds."
"Why are people avoiding clouds?" he glances out the window, confused.
"Not literal clouds, Spencer, storage clouds. On the internet."
He frowns in distaste and hands your phone back to you.
You laugh. "Okay, Dr. Troglodyte, I get it you hate modern technology. But you did just say you're an engineering grad, so I'm wondering if you could help me build one. A cyberdeck, not a cloud. I already have some of the parts, you know, it's recommendedā"
"I wouldn't know the first thing about it."
You look at him in disbelief. "But you just saidā"
"I know, I know," he winces like it pains him to admit defeat, "Admittedly, my engineering skills might beā¦ underutilized after decades of focusing of criminal psychology. Why do you want to build one, anyway?"
"For Melissa's wedding. A personalized gift, have it programmed to have pictures and music, maybe have well wishes they could read."
His face softens. "That's very sweet of you."
"Thanks." You laugh, looking at the rustic, cyberpunk mini-computer pictured on your phone. "It's a little impractical and I'm not even sure I could make one on time, so I did get them something from their registry. But giving a stand mixer to your best friend of over a decade doesn't really scream special, you know?"
Spencer nods, face now lined with focus. "You say you've gotten the parts?"
"Yeah. There are explanations and tutorials online, so I probably could figure it out," you shrug, noncommittally, "I just thought it'd be easier if an engineering grad takes a look."
Spencer rubs his temple with one hand, looking as though he's considering it. "I might be able to help, if you give me a few days to read up on it."
You blink. "Wait, really?"
"Yeah. No promises, though."
"Okay. I'd appreciate that."
You have absolutely expectations. Not from any skepticism on his abilitiesāyou're certain he'd figure out the mechanics by tomorrow, if he gets a couple of hours free tonightābut becauseā¦ well, why would he? Spencer doesn't owe you anything.
He might condense the information available so you would have easier instructions, but ultimately, you are convinced you'd have to figure out the cyberdeck yourself.
And you wouldn't hold it against him. Again, he owes you nothing.
Spencer knocks on your office door three days later, during a vacant lull in between classesāa surprise since he usually saves whatever he has to say until you're both seated at the cafe by the end of the work day.
You fling the door open to his suspiciously beaming face.
"Hi."
"Dr. Reid." you say, just to get a reaction.
He shakes his head, cheeks dimpling when his lips press into a thin line. "Spencer."
Just as you predicted.
You grin, letting him into your office and closing the door behind him for privacy. He sweeps his gaze around the small, sun drenched space, before turning back to you, beaming.
"I think I've got a solution to your cyberdeck problem."
You are very proud that your jaw doesn't drop in utter surprise. "You do?"
"But it, uh, might require someone else."
"Oh?"
He pulls something from his pocketāa sheet of paper, carefully tuckedāand moves to stand next to you. An entire page of messy, scribbled notes unfold before your eyes and you push your glasses up, trying to get a clearer look.
"See, I broke it down to the bare necessitiesāparts, programming, and the actual construction. If you've got the parts ready, I could help you with the construction," he says, pointing at a rough sketch of what seems to be a circuit board, labeled with the basic parts required to run.
You're happy he's explaining this to you. His handwriting is undecipherable, which tells you he did this in one of his hyper-focused moments. Sharp scrawls that taper into nothingness, sentences missing words because his mind is moving too fast for his hand to keep up.
You do not dare comment on that. Not when spent time learning all of this, and offering to help all because you asked him to.
"Okay, but where does this 'someone else' come into this?"
"I have no clue how to do any of the programming part." he looks at you expectantly, as if he's waiting for you to reveal some secret computer programming knowledge.
"That makes two of us."
He chuckles. "That's fine. I know someone who does."
Ah. That's how this mystery person comes into play.
"And would they be willing to help with this?"
Spencer nods, though he looks a little nervous. "I think she would be."
She?
"This isn't an ex, is it?" you say, a little bit mortified. Partly from the thought of meeting his ex, and partly at the sharp sting that lances through your chest at the very idea of Spencer Reid having an ex.
Ridiculous. You aren't even his real girlfriend.
"What?" his voice squeaks, "No, no, it's a old friend of mine from the FBI."
The FBI? You feel your eyes bugging out of your head. "Oh my god? Why would an FBI agent help with something soā¦ silly?"
Spencer shakes his head. "It's not silly, it's actually a rather interesting process. It's an application of the fundamentals of engineering, mixed with computer science. Besides, Penelope loves this sort of thing, it'd be like a fun assignment for her."
Penelope. What a pretty name. Penelope, wife of Odysseus, clever and endlessly faithful. Your mind fills with images of navy blazers and crisp folders, someone equally sharp as Spencer, and maybe more severe in her presentation.
"I could call her. We could probably meet with her, complete the thing over a weekend." he continues, handing the page of notes to you, "But if you don't want to do that, you can keep this, and we could do it, just the two of us."
Just the two of us. You shut down the part of your brain that wants to linger over the implications of that.
Spencer stands beside you, patiently waiting for your response.
"Ifā¦ if we ask for her help, what will we say? You know, aboutā¦ this," you gesture between the two of you vaguely.
This Penelope is neither part of faculty, nor is she invited to the wedding. There is no need to keep up the fake relationship around her, but telling her would also technically break one of the rules: no one can know about the arrangement.
"We'll just have to keep up the act," Spencer replies quickly, clearly having already thought this part through, "You've already posted something online, right? There's a huge chance Penelope will see that, if I so much as mention you."
Your heart is in your throat. Fooling the people at the university is one thing; your colleagues don't really know either of you, and they never pry in the name of professional courtesy. The wedding will be another test, but at least it's only for a weekend, and most of the people will, hopefully, be too preoccupied by the bride and groom to scrutinize your relationship with Spencer.
But pretending to be a couple in front of his friend? Someone from the FBI?
"You think we can fool an FBI agent?" you ask, voice weak from the mere thought of it.
Spencer winces, looking apologetic. "It'sāyeah. Think of it as our ultimate test. If we can fool Penelope, then that wedding will be a breeze."
"Oh my god."
"We don't have to! Like I said, I'll help you with the cyberdeck by myself if you want, we'll figure out the coding stuff when we get there."
It's sweet, how earnest he is about this. He doesn't have to, but you're learning that Spencer likes helping, and it isn't a crime to accept it.
On top of that, this Penelope must be amazing, if she's anything like Spencer. No doubt she'd figure out how to make the cyberdeck work like an actual computer better than you ever could.
Besides, you've been pretending to be Spencer's girlfriend long enough for it to feel semi-normal, anyway. How hard can it be? It's just another audience. Like he said, Penelope could be the ultimate test of your acting skills.
And it would just be a really cool gift. Enough to earn back the brownie points you'd lost after declining to be part of Melissa's entourage, like she'd always wanted.
"No, we canā¦ we can ask your friend for help. I think we'll be fine." you answer finally, resolutely.
Spencer nods. "I'll call her later.
A warm, sunny day is exponentially becoming rare, but the sun is beaming bright on you and Spencer that weekend. The air smells crisp, a perfect day to be outside.
However, you are standing side by side outside an apartment building, and waiting for Penelope Garcia to buzz you in. From your shoulders hangs a backpack full of the rudimentary parts and an old laptop, while you know Spencer has tools in his satchelāscrewdrivers, electrical tape, and copper wiring.
It feels almost like high school. Coming over a friend's house to work on a project, minds full of ideas and hands clumsy with youth. Despite your nerves, you feel your lips curling into a smile.
The apartment entrance buzzes open. Spencer lets you go in first and you walk gingerly up the steps, nerves humming like a live wire. You've never met an FBI agent before. Well, besides Spencer, but you're sure he's an exception to most things so he really can't be your point of reference to anything.
Would she be nice? Serious? Would she look at you with quiet judgment, wonder why she's spending her time helping you make something so frivolous?
You gulp as Spencer knocks on a door, a kind, reassuring smile on his face.
What you don't expect, in all the time you spent worrying about today, is a perky blonde wearing a deep green sundress and a matching cardigan would be the one to greet you. Twin rose barrettes hold back her blonde curls, and at least three necklaces are wound around her neck.
A pair of orange glasses are perched on the bridge of her nose, and beneath them, twinkling brown eyes that widen when they land on you.
"Oh my gosh, you're even prettier in person!" she squeals, and before you can react, she's enveloped you in a tight, lily-scented hug. "Hi! I'm Penelope, you can just call me Pen, oh my gosh, Reid, why did you wait so long to introduce her?"
Beside you, Spencer laughs. "It's great to see you as always, Garcia."
Penelope pulls away and holds you at arms length, surveying your appearance. You've dressed more casually today, dark jeans and an even darker sweater in case building this cyberdeck gets messy, and you feel the urge to tell Penelope you aren't always so glum-looking.
"It's nice to meet you," you say instead, telling her your name even though you're certain she already knows.
"You too! Come in, you guys, this is so fun! I haven't seen Reid in a while." she pouts and throws a glare at Spencer, mock angry, "I thought you'd forgotten all about us."
"Of course not," he chuckles, "I've been busy, and I'm sure you have too."
"Thank you for squeezing this in, really." you say.
Penelope waves a perfectly manicured hand dismissively. "Please, I'd cancel everything if it meant meeting Spencer Reid's girlfriend."
The word is squealed, laced with genuine giddiness. To be honest, it seems like Penelope is incapable of hiding or faking her emotions. Everything is felt, and worn like another accessory.
You can't help but return her smile, even though the girlfriend title stings with guilt. You're lying to this sweet woman who's welcoming you into her home and doing you a favor.
"I appreciate it," you follow her deeper into her apartment. It is far nicer than yours, spacious and well lit, large enough to be divided into rooms. She leads the three of you into the kitchen, where she's set up a workspace on the large table.
"Nonsense! I'm more than happy to help. Programming can be so fun, but sadly all I do is use it to fight evil. Which is all well and good, obviously, but you're doing me a favor too, by letting me in on this." Penelope says, turning on one of the many laptops on the table. "Now, refreshments are on the counter, and I must ask you to keep them there. Liquids are banned on the dining table, I'm sure you both understand why."
She points to the kitchen counter, where an array of pastries are sitting pretty, right next to a large pitcher of iced tea. You feel yourself melting at her hospitality, feel the anxiety melting with dramatic gesture from Penelope.
You place your bag on one of the chairs, quickly taking out your own things. You've brought an old laptop, hoping to salvage it for parts, but you also managed to order a single board computer online, as well as an unused SD card, and an old tablet's LED screen.
Seeing them all arranged on Penelope's table fills your with a sense of excitement.
This cyberdeck might actually come out well.
"I'm guessing Spencer told you what I was hoping to make?" you say, watching her monitor turn on. Spencer has wandered to the other side of the room, surveying everything with an analytical eye.
"Yes, he said you wanted a cyberdeck that would specifically store and flash the pictures of the wedding on loop, is that right?"
You nod, "That's right. But I wanted it to be like a noir movie, you know? I was planning to house it in this."
You pull out last thing in your backpack, the one causing majority of the bulkāa vintage cigar box made of polished oak. "Is this practical, or would it overheat?"
"Don't worry about overheating, we can always attach a cooling system!" Penelope reassures you, "Anything else you want, besides the aesthetics?"
"Maybe store messages and play music? If that's possible."
"Honey, we're building a computer, anything is possible!" Penelope grins, taking the old laptop you'd brought, "Is this something we can use?"
"Yeah, I fucked up the screen about a year ago," you reply with a laugh, "I meant to give it away for parts, but never got around to it."
"Good thing you didn't." she says. She points at Spencer, "And you, my favorite genius, have to open it up so we can pick it apart for parts. Grab a screw driver and get to it."
Spencer seems unfazed by being bossed around. With a smile, he grabs the smallest available screwdriver, flipping over the laptop and dutifully studying the tiny screws.
Penelope sits by your side as Spencer works, taking the single board computer you've brought for this project and hooking it up to her own laptop.
"While he does that, let me walk you through the program I made for you." Penelope says, clicking around her screen until an application opens. It looks like an old timey, black and white movie, complete with the elaborate framing and fonts.
Your mouth drops. "You made this?"
"Uh huh." Penelope says cheerfully, like it's no big deal. She clicks on a 'start' button and pictures of cute baby animals flash onscreen, "Obviously, these are just placeholders. Once you insert your own SD card into the circuit, it'll be filled with pictures you chose."
She walks you through another function, clicking on a music icon. "We can either hook up a music app on here, or download clips individually and add them to the memory card."
"Oh, but I didn't bring a speaker." You say.
"That's fine! The old laptop probably has one, once Spencer gets it open, we'll connect it to this circuit and see if it works." Penelope reassures, going through the rest of the menu settings, showing you things like slideshow timing, button mapping, startup animations, and the codes you'll need to modify them through Python.
You try to pay attention.
You really, truly do.
Unfortunately, there's two things against you: you don't know the first thing about computer programming and Spencer is sitting directly across the table. Working on the laptop. Distractingly.
He's rolled his sleeves halfway to his elbows. Your eyes fall to the veins on his handsāfamiliar by now, after so much perfomative hand holdingāand follow them up the newly exposed skin. Pale forearms which are, surprisingly, corded with lean muscle. Strands of hair are scattered across, turning golden when sunlight hits it. You take it all in greedily.
Everything Penelope's saying goes in one ear and leaves out the other as he disassembles the laptop, slim fingers carefully twisting the screws off. A small crease forms between his brows as the motherboard is exposed, a complicated, technological maze. He looks focused. Happy, eager to solve a puzzle despite his supposed disdain for tech.
You catch bits and pieces of Penelope's spiel.
"...and if we allocate more memory to the media partitionā"
"Mhm," you nod.
"ā¦ I'll make it so this button barks when it's pressed."
"Okay."
Penelope stops talking.
You barely notice the silence that settles, eyes fixed upon Spencer as he gingerly unscrews the battery, and takes it from the laptop's shell. You watch as he leans down for a closer view, peeking at what remains of the circuitry, his free hand twiddling with the screwdriver in absentminded dexterity.
He looksā¦ serene. Intense, but somehow relaxed.
It's a good look on him.
"...Sweetie."
You jump and turn to Penelope, wide eyed and nodding profusely. "Uh huh, that sounds great."
"I didn't say anything." she giggles, twinkling eyes darting between you and Spencer.
A laugh escapes, shaky and thin. "Right."
Her lips twist into a smirk, knowing and sly. She leans in and nudges your shoulder with hers. "Honey, I know you're dating, but if you keep looking at him like that, then I'm gonna start feeling like a third wheel."
"Looking at him like what?"
"Like you wanna jump across the table and straddle him!" she replies, hushed and giddy. Your face feels like it's been set on fire, but she goes on, "Listen, I'm not going to judge. In fact I'm happy the Mighty Professor's found someone."
"The Mighty Professor?" you repeat, because that feels like the most neutral part of everything she'd said. Everything else feels too loaded.
At the nickname, Spencer glances up. "Yeah?"
"I can't believe you actually answer to that."
His mouth parts, as if he's ready to defend himself, but only ends up chuckling sheepishly.
"She doesn't know about your nicknames?" Penelope gasps dramatically, "The Good Doctor? Boy Genius? Pretty Boy?"
"Pretty Boy, huh?" you grin at him, taking pleasure in the way pink blossoms over his dimpling cheeks.
"I didn't choose any of them." he protests, carefully disentangling what looks to be the laptop's sound system.
"I can't believe you never told her, though. They're so cute, half of those were given by Morgan." Penelope says. She reaches forward and takes the small speakers from him. With a decisive movement, she begins to fit it into the circuit for the cyberdeck.
"She has her own nickname for me," Spencer mumbles.
You resist the urge to hide beneath your palms when Penelope gasps, excited.
"You do? Tell me, what is it?"
"Dr. Four Eyes," you wince, gesturing at your own spectacles, "You know, for the irony."
Penelope looks delighted as she types more codes into her laptop. "That is adorable. You two are adorable."
"I think we did it." You whisper later that day, as Spencer drives you home. The cyberdeck, the gift you had thought too far fetched, sits balanced on top of your knees, complete with a rustic brass handle and gleaming hinges.
The three of you had spent a great portion of the day fitting the parts together and designing the shellāPenelope had made such quick work of the applications and programs that the handiwork became the most time consuming part. Now you have a functioning, personalized cyberdeck decorated in a way you know both Melissa and her fiance would love.
Spencer glances at you, smiling soft and warm. "The cyberdeck, or convincing Garcia?"
You chuckle, remembering the giddy looks Penelope kept throwing at the two of you. She seemed so certain, had even extended an invitation for you to hang out with her after today.
"Both, I guess."
"We did." he sounds proud, relaxed. Outside, the darkness is dotted with the lights from windows and streetlamps, converging into streaks as he drives.
"It wasā¦ easier than I expected." you admit, tracing the intricate brass handle to abate the restlessness. "Convincing her."
"Was it?"
"Yeah. I don't know, I thought we'd have to lay it on thick, you know. Throw in kisses or something."
He looks over with a crooked grin, the one that has your words twisting and tripping together before they can leave your mouth.
"You want me to kiss you in front of my friend?"
"No, that is not what I meant."
"I know."
"But we'll have to eventually." God, of all the moments, why would you say that now? When you're physically stuck in a space with him, unable to escape the weight of his eyes. You glance out the window, avoiding another one of his inevitable glances.
"Why not right now?" his voice sounds light, forcibly so.
"Stop teasing me." you huff, and his laughter fills the car, easing the tension. You take your glasses off and murmur, "Don't you feel bad? She's so sweet and we basically lied to her."
Spencer's laughter dies down, and the silence that follows is heavy. Not uncomfortable, per se, but thick with the knowledge of your shared deception. With the knowledge that this wouldn't be the last. That Penelope is just one of many.
But then:
"It's not all a lie." he murmurs.
You risk a glance at him. Through the haziness, he sits stiffly and refuses to meet your eye.
You spend the rest of the ride in contemplative silence, trying to piece together what he could possibly mean.
Thank you deeply for reading, please reblog if you enjoyed!
āitās not all a lieā ARE YOU TRYING tO KILL MEEEEE
oh my goodness theyāre so cute, Iām overwhelmed. the Penelope cameo was PERFECT and exactly as Iād always imagined it!!! because like, Penelope knows Spencer SO well. SOOO well. and sheās such a lovergirl and a ride or die friend, so sheād easily be able to sniff out when a relationship isnāt actually real, because she so truly believes in love and wants it for her friends (especially Spencer after seeing all heās been through). so for her to fully buy into their relationship and clock how googly eyed prof!reader is toward him, CLEARLYYYY itās because sheās seeing the real deal. those two genius idiots are in LOVE. theyāll figure it out one of these days
(un)friendly reminder that fanfiction is free and written for the love of the game so if youāre going to complain to a writer about the writing they provide for you FOR FREE, you are not welcome on my blog and I wish you a terrible no good very awful life
if youāre the anon in erikaās inbox trying to tell her what to do with HER series, come hang out in my inbox instead so I can verbally destroy you. xoxo š
thank you for tagging me @purplescarfedspencerreid <3
hair colour: blonde
fave colour: purple
fave drink: coke
one thing you love abt yourself: that i still get out of bed every morning tbh
if you could be any animal what would you be: personality-wise? a cat. if i got to choose: a dolphin
dream place to visit: new zealand [forever bitter]
one thing you look forward to: going on vacation in a few days (this road trip has been postponed THREE TIMES i cannot explain how long we've waited for this)
biggest dream: affordable housing
song on repeat: did i say that out loud? - barenaked ladies
Tagging: no pressure tags @marcidstars, @reidloverr, @spencerscardigan, @screennamealreadyused, @almostgenerallyalways, @hiddentattooodyssey
fav drink: this coffee that has literally put people into hospitals. also, matcha latte
one thing you love about yourself: my arms i am on my way to having jacked AJ Cook CM Evolution arms!!!
if you could be any animal what would you be: an owl or a cat
dream place to visit: Siem Reap, any of the islands in Palawan (ik I live in the same country but it's crazy expensive to travel there rip), SĆ£o Paulo
one thing you look forward to: upcoming beach vacation this November!!!
biggest dream: work in publishing AND publish a book
song on repeat: girl of the year - allie x
no pressure tags: @whoswitchybabyanyway @whisperedmeg @reidloverr
thank you for the tag my sweet angel princess fairy girl @esote-rika ššš
hair color: naturally daaaark brunette but Iāve had an ashy blonde balayage for years so I guess blonde idk
fav color: purple (omg who couldāve guessed)
fav drink: ice water with lemon orrrrr Dr Pepper orrrrr a spicy marg with a tajin rim
one thing you love about yourself: my eyes are my favorite feature physically but I also love how I ride and die for my friends no matter what
if you could be any animal what would you be: hmmm maybe a sea otter so I can just float around and hold hands with my friends while I sleep
dream place to visit: oh god so many. my travel bucket list is very long. but my top two right now would probably be a safari in Tanzania (or hopefully across multiple African countries) and seeing the northern lights in Scandinavia (specifically Norway but I want to visit all of the Scandinavian countries eventually!)
one thing you look forward to: right now, I am looking forward to being freed from the shackles of finishing my duties as maid of honor and attending my best friendās wedding this fall
biggest dream: not to be cheesy but I do really dream of finding my person and falling in love one day. feels less likely as time goes on tho lmao
song on repeat: itās been stupid song by Olivia Rodrigo for like nearly 2 months now
tagging anyone who sees this & wants to do it!! š„°
Meg, you give me theatre kid vibes so I have a feeling youāll be excited about this! Iām going to see not only Spiderman this Saturday but also the Hadestown pro shot!! Iām beyond excited š¤
āyou give me theater kid vibesā is SENDING ME hahahahaha but you are indeed correct, i was a theater kid my whole childhood and am still a big musical fan lol. i LOVE hadestown that is so exciting!!! Iāve actjally had wait for me stuck in my head for like 3 days straight now lol
just watched the new spiderman. (i will not spoil anything) all i have to say is holy shit. five stars across the board living on a true high right now. - edmond
yessss so happy you saw it already! I honestly got so caught up obsessing over all of zendayaās incredible red carpet looks I lost track of when the actual movie was coming out lmao
oh honey that sounds so exhausting Iām sorry :((( i admittedly do not know much about babies but donāt they say that babies go through sleep regressions when they learn a new skill?? so I guess it just means the girlies are little geniuses!
on a serious note I realllly hope you guys can emerge from the trenches soon š„² sending good vibes!
