I’m just so tired @whisperflight - Tumblr Blog

My favourite thing about the D&D movie is it never stops trying to be a D&D movie even down to the most minute, unsung details. There's initiative order gags (I'll go last!) there's rolling a 1 gags (setting off the trap on the bridge by inexplicably just walking up to it) there's stat gags (nobody had high enough Intelligence to be in danger from the Intellect Devourers). Almost every spell is identifiable, from Xenk using smite to Sofina whipping out Finger of Death. Simon's character arc is about his self-confidence being tied to his mastery of magic because Charisma is the spellcasting stat for sorcerers. The era of movies based on games being afraid of their source material is over.

otiksimr

Favorite genre of picture, snakes wrapped around bird beaks.

otiksimr

↑ my previous tags.

A battle between two wills to live.

trashcangimmick

neuroticpantomime

Diet culture is hilarious and rad actually

redpandarascal

rethink your weekend. Harder liquor on an emptier stomach is just what you need. Trust me, I’m a doctor.

what-even-is-thiss

You know the vegetables they’ve shown in that salad probably don’t add up to 700 calories. Pure raw vegetables without any seasoning tend to have so few calories that they’re basically a rounding error away from having none. You usually need some kind of dressing or protein added to make a salad filling enough to last you all day. Just eating raw vegetables might give you vitamins but if there’s no fat, protein, or carbs to go with it you won’t be full and there won’t be a whole lot to dissolve your vitamins in or absorb some of that liquor.

That salad doesn’t seem to have any dressing or meat or beans or eggs or anything on it. Just lettuce, tomato, and cucumber. It’s probably less than 200 calories. Possibly less than 150 calories. Which means you’ve got like 550 calories of hard liquor there. That’s like five and a half shots of hard liquor. A 1.5 oz shot is like 100 calories. That’s five and a half drinks with almost nothing in your stomach.

Good luck, basically. RIP to you.

allthingswhumpyandangsty

feeling called out today

credit: _ADWills

roaldamundsen

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

roaldamundsen

?

roaldamundsen

can people stop saying insane things on this post

deep-state-partisan

non-state-actor

noperopesaredope

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

our-queer-experience

theres a reason lots of kids develop gender dysphoria around 10-14 and its not because its a social contagion but its because puberty is really fucking distressing when you’re trans, and thats when it becomes too much to handle.

our-queer-experience

“this kids develop a problem with their assigned sex at birth when their assigned sex at birth characteristics begin emerging… suspicious.”