[white-zane]

checking my email inbox like I'm waiting for something important and not an acceptance email to a job that has literally no choice but to accept me

[white-zane]

Did i just spend hours and hours w my best friend applying for a job thats volunteer work (unpaid) and has three openings (all supposed to be filled w 2 ppl each) but we are literally the only applicants

Yes i did

So thats why there were no fanfic updates coming

[white-zane]

Finishing a fanfic ive been writing on for iver a yr feels like a bigger life achievement than anythinh else ive achieved so far atp

[white-zane]

Every few months I go through my google docs trying to find a fanfic I randomly got motivation to continue and then get shocked by the way I name these files

Wdym "Why am I so gay" what even is that about

[white-zane]

Calling people that i dont know is the bane of my existence and also unfortunately makes up like 40% of what i do at my paid and unpaid job

[white-zane]

Every song can be about your younger siblings if you eldest sibling your way into it enough

Examples: willing and able by noah kahan and I'll believe in anything by wolf parade.

[white-zane]

rdm ahh poem

You know what sucks? 

Living in a society that claims to be accepting, claims to uphold you. To live in a community that calls you privileged, tells you that you’re not oppressed enough. 

So they talk about something else instead, 

while your best friend gets molested in the bathroom. 

Oh, but you’re just still a man. So privileged, so favored by society, 

a top tier porn category, waiting to be clicked on. 

Be glad you’re invisible, it works in your favour, you get hatecrimed so much less, 

except for the twenty year old that’s “experimenting” in your thirteen year old dms. 

And if the first time you see someone like you is in a pornfic, 

then at least be glad that your best friend isn’t on the news. 

Cus he’s talking to someone twice his age again, 

telling him all about how lonely it feels in his cold bed. 

And you can stay invisible to the public eye, 

while another man makes his way into your little corner. 

You see, 

he likes being invisible with you.

[white-zane]

pretty shit poem might delete later lol

Mom, why did you leave us? 

The toddlers are crying, crying for their mama, 

but they have to settle for my arms instead. 

Eventually, it feels the same. 

Our little teen doesn’t run to you for help. 

She calls me to ask what’s for dinner, 

tells me when she’ll be home. 

cus she knows that you won’t answer her. 

Mom, when are you coming home? 

The toddlers are sick, both our barely-teens are too, 

I can’t hold it anymore. 

Can you please buy some chicken on your way? 

Don’t worry about them, I’ll cook for them. 

Don’t worry about work, I’ll cook for you. 

Maybe I’ll make myself something too. 

Mom, why are you on the news? 

The papers talking about how amazing you are, 

How a woman can be successful without neglecting her kids. 

I’m so proud of you mama, 

we’ll celebrate later, 

the kids are hungry again.

[white-zane]

"heated rivalry this" "heated rivalry that" fuck that nothing has more tension than me and the 70 unanswered comments in my ao3 inbox after I promised that I'd answer them like 50 different times

[white-zane]

uhhh poem smthg smthg here you go just take it I don't know what to call it alr???

Turn away from me dear. 

Ignore the pills I’m choking down, Run from the smoke climbing out of my mouth. 

Cus you’re just thirteen, a little baby girl, 

A precious life I’d spend mine protecting if only I wasn’t so busy wastin it. 

I was no day older than you are now, yet I seemed to be so much taller, 

So much older at that exact same age. 

And I’ll spend my days scared, 

keepin track of every medication in the house, 

studyin your expression when you ask to hang out. 

So I’ll be there if the pills get you too, so I can swallow them before you ever do.

Craving for you to see the sacrifices I’m making, 

praying that you won't ever get the chance to.

[white-zane]

anyone else read fanfic to get more into the characters so you can continue writing your own fic but then get so caught up in the fanfic you're reading that you forget to actually write anything?...

[white-zane]

I love me some doomed gays smoking together and one of them hands the other their lucky cigarette even though they both still have normal ones left because even after all this time and all that they went through, they're still the most important thing in each others lives.

[white-zane]

BTW this chapter is out now

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86782276/chapters/233460536

Here you go gang

[white-zane]

I promise there's still some fanfic update coming soon but just for like context the organisation I'm a part of and that I basiclly invest half my life into just kicked out a pretty close friend of mine for "bullying" and then proceeded to elect a president and two vice presidents that resulted in half of the needed governing body deciding that actually no they don't want to do ts

and to top it off this kind of maybe fucked my plans for the entire next year since me and my best friend were supposed to head-organise a whole 4 day event (which we can only do in close cooperation with the governing body which is now full of opps)

[white-zane]

I love me some doomed gays smoking together and one of them hands the other their lucky cigarette even though they both still have normal ones left because even after all this time and all that they went through, they're still the most important thing in each others lives.

[white-zane]

Whenever I'm exhausted and at my limit lush life starts playing in the back of my head and honestly that's a vibe

[white-zane]

genuinly nothing infuriates me more than AI in fanfic spaces. How can you be so unpassionate about writing for you to either not do it at all and just write a goddamn prompt or feed your art to an AI to 'make it better'. How can you be so indifferent to all of the fanfics hundreds of authors before you have written and posted online for you to read. How can you disrespect their work and passion by asking an AI to reproduce the things that they put their genuine human emotions into.

At this point literally just ask me to write something if you want it that badly. It might take a week and a lot of caffeine but I'd rather get into a whole new fandom and spend hours writing a fanfic about it than see another fuckass AI generated piece of slop acting like it's even half as good as the 500 word vent fic some 13yr old just uploaded right beside it.

[white-zane]

one more bot comment on ao3 and I'm giving up on the internet

WHERE DID THE PEOPLE GO

WHY ARE THERE NO HUMANS LEFT ON THIS GODFORSAKEN WEB