Imagination in Chaos @jambananacalm - Tumblr Blog

Fuzzy Thoughts: Being Everything to Everyone

There is a notion that hard core science fiction fans are, somehow, distanced from their humanity. They live in fantasy worlds that bear no resemblance to reality. Which is all bullshit.

If anything, we seekers of reason and wonder - we star dreamers and science whispers are more romantic than those sign dropping, pretty ones that tempt and lure with roses and chocolates. Don't get me wrong - we'll still supply the chocolate but are more likely to give you a terrarium because it's self sustaining and produces oxygen for your room. We are complex. And - for a fair number of the Nerdisphere - we're in it for the sex, too. Except... we tend to make sure the lube is waterbased and you know we'll bring our own condoms.

But

I digress...

I want to talk about The Expanse.

Clue music.

Our found family of heroes are the focus of The Story.

Other people come and go - but this Gang of Four are the victims, the catalyst, the analysts, the moral compass, the focus, the heroes, the survivors, and the Keys to understanding a possible human future.

They represent all factions in the known solar system: The Belt, Failed Earth, Prosperous Earth, and Mars. Naomi - Amos - Jim - Alex (NAJA) and their fellow Expansers experience every trope of every fiction writer that has writ throughtout the ages. Found family, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, secret past, hard edge cop, secret gov't black-ops, hurt comfort, mary sue, wise aged women, strong young women, mother sacrifice for child's good, tender garden philosopher, techo-good, techno-bad, outside-scary-techon, stupid greedy man, knight in shining armor, spirit walker, stupid-arrogant human shit, hidden power, overt power, love of life, love of family, love of brother, love of Love, fuck when you can cause tomorrow we may die. Everything. E V E R Y T H I N G, All packed into a ship the audience will begin to see as it's own character.

Rocinante means 'Workhorse' and that is exactly what this series is. It is a workhorse of science fiction that tries to be everything to everyone... and succeeds.

We are watching the series for a third time. I'm sure there are major flaws somewhere in this work - there always are - but I'll be damned if I can find them. More than likely that failing comes from the Romance of it all. I have been romanced by great science fiction before - and will be again - but for now...

Being held in the loving arms of The Expanse... my little workhorse... all I can see is beauty.

jambananacalm

Doors and corners, people. Doors. And. Corners.

After immersing - nay - soaking in the broadcast series for multiple watchings, I finally turned to the books and tuned into Ty Franck's podcast with Wes Chatham. All are worthy of time - especially the foundation material written under the name James S A Corey. Completely unfuckable science fiction... at its best.

#The Expanse #science fiction #fuzzy thoughts #romance #love #fiction #tropes #Amos backstory is killing me and i do not know if i will ever have the strength to write it

jambananacalm

Fuzzy Thoughts - Storytelling

Over on Reddit - a topic was subbed with the premise that "Nobody writes purely for themselves. If they did, they'd be perfectly happy keeping the story in their head without writing it down."

Which is utter malarkey. Yes, I pulled out the M-word.

Thinking stories, talking stories, writing stories, publishing stories are all storytelling. These are observational or imaginary constructs.

Let me say again: They are ALL storytelling. We get hung up on the 'writing' part as a modern global culture, especially in Western cultures or cultures influenced by Western (Colonial) perspective. Writing is action that can be seen (or felt in the form of Braille). It is also an occupation - and we, in the predominant Western idiom are obsessed with Occupation (work). It is the focus on written published work that poo-pooed the Oral Traditions of First Nation/Indigenous peoples cultures causing them/us to lose histories that can not now ever be recovered.

Storytelling has a much longer oral tradition than writing. That tradition still exists and is valid. Often - in Storytelling - the subjects were - what we would consider - RPF (real person fics) because common heroes were used as a focus of the story. Bat Masterson was a prime example. Although there were many pulp stories written - there were far more told over and open fire by men and women in far flung communities where storytelling was the 'streaming' of the day. Masterson was the hero of the day and any story was valid as long as he was included.

Additional absurdity to the statement "nobody writes purely for themselves'" is the dismissal of people who write jurnals, diaries, and daily logs. What happens after their death with such works is separate. When they wrote, they did it for themselves. Emily Dickenson wrote some 1800+ poems. All but 10 of them she kept to herself in her lifetime. it wasn't until after she died that a family member went WTF! and published the rest. She wrote for.her.self.

Storytelling. We mentally engage in STORYTELLING - because it serves us: our minds, our emotions, our lives. It serves us. Writing for ourselves has the same effect... except we can return to a story that we have transcribed and recreate it exactly as it came from us like that grade school picture of us when we were 10, it is a snap shot in time. Our stories are a picture of who we were once. Whether is serves others either through telling them orally or publishing is another matter.

Our stories make up a part of who we are. And we are the stories we tell

jambananacalm

Fuzzy Thoughts - Writer's Glock

Taking aim on Fanfiction of a Fanfiction - a story of recursion.

And then came that day.

"I'm too old for this shit," I said, putting away my fan fiction. I've said everything about Star Trek, Wars, Gate, and Man that I have to say. Alien Nation? Done. Firefly? Done. Merry and Pippin's happy ending after LOTR? Done. Elfquest? Dorsai? Buffy? Done. The bloody paper trail of angsty happiness dusted with dried tears and wet kisses long lost to the halls of Etsy, eBay, and other auction sites where old Fanzines go to find new homes in shelved lives.

When I felt 'the urge' (Urge. You know. Wink-wink. Urge, eh, he said knowingly.) I could slide onto Live Journal or a funky webring, check out FFN or Tumblr or K/S Archive to get that reading fix. Alas, eventually that, too lost it's glamour. Close Account. Close Account. Close Account. Close.the.Account.

Get to work, boy. You got STD (shit-to-do ... get your mind outta the Newsroom acronyms) And so I did.

As we age and people begin to realize you've been in that tenured office long enough, there are assumptions made about your arcane-ness. One day you find yourself having coffee with twenty and thirty somethings that feel the need to explain the values of transformational works to your aged ass.

"You mean, fanfiction?" you ask. "Um... yeah," they hesitate in response. And your eye roll will be taken for the dismissiveness of age rather than the tiredness of having to explain yourself to others throughout your life.

That's where my sense of unreal-reality kicked in - because I'm still that 10 year old kid waiting in line for The Empire Strikes Back premier with my cousin. (Blessings to my twenty-something half-cousin from Iowa who drove 6 hours to my Grandparents in St.Louis just to take me to see a film I wasn't going to get to see because it was PG and "that star tracking crap" (GPa's description). (Oh, and, TY cousin Rosie-Rosie... you are forever my X-Wing Fighter.)

I'm still all the people I have ever been and have a body of work out there on shelves and in dusty boxes under five psueds - some male, some female - that prove that ... yes... "Yes, Carl. I know what fanfiction is."

It was work back in the day to develop a full blown fandom-habit! You had to have a certain amount of cash flow to actively participate with others in Fandom. But, after all the time growing those worlds... they just fluttered away in the mean light of adulting. And I tell my young colleagues that, they too, may experience the flattening of the world thusly.

That's it. The End.

Except... like a Terminator's rerouting signal blinking in the corner of my visual cortex... there...is...this...thing... that I came across in a forgotten notebook: two stapled stories written by friends.

A long, long, long time ago someone shoved one of those stapled stories under my nose because I had said, "Nope - that [ship]* is not a thing. I don't see it. At all. Nope." (*we didn't call it a ship, that slang had not yet been invented. We said things like: "I don't see them together" meaning Slashing). The slashing of characters in the mid-80s was still a relatively new device and easily shrugged off or outright DENIED. Which - I did... in this case. That, plus, the story had a 'tiger or lady' ending... (Which... eye-roll... HSET aka high school English trauma.)

But... the story... the story made a plausible beginning to a questionable slashing that was the darling pair of Miami Vice fanfiction print zine publications everywhere. I, might, possibly be less resistant to the idea of these two very different characters being something together after reading Barb Lewis' story. Perhaps. Maybe.

In the second story - mutual friend SK Gates - wrote a 'lady' ending for the first work as a tribute to the original author. This would have been a fanfic of a fanfic - except that it was only distributed between friends in a first draft copy and never published in a fanzine. The work was finally handed to an editor in preparation for a 2020 publication on the year anniversary of Barb Lewis' passing - when the unthinkable happened. SKGates, too, died.

This is the reality of Fandom. The original writers and artist have been slowly, but surely, leaving this Universe for something beyond - leaving works on pages in boxes and in archives behind digital walls.

Finding both works in one place after Lewis' and Gates' deaths was a shocking moment. NGL - there were tears through that first reading. Then, marveling at the fact that both stories were Smith-Cornona machine typed... I read them again and again and again. Somewhere in all the reading I called Rosie - remember her ↑ (my X-Wing Fighter) and asked if she remembered. Of course she did. She was Gates' editor. That was three years ago.

Since then I've been obsessed with two questions:

what would the tiger do?

should I write fanfic of their fanfiction?

So thus began my journey into Recursive Fsnfiction or fic of fic (which one day will show up as a portmanteau with capitalization... something like Ficafic©) or 3rd Generation Fanfiction- what ever you choose. Paying particular attention to both source fan works, I've tried to incorporate enough but not too much in tribute. It isn't difficult - but it is time consuming - balancing the original fanfics along with the Canon material and timeline then overlaying original content. But - it can be done.

Writer's Glock — where an idea hits you like a bullet and the only way to heal is to write until all that can be said about the source of that idea is said and you can move on.

I didn't plan on writing fanfiction again in my lifetime - and yet - here I am. Completely rusty but working lube (pun intended) into those creative writing joints to write another day...and another...and another... but with a lot of help (TY Catherine and Rose) I'm working up to writing trim. There are currently some 117K words covering four out of five works to this cathartic exorcism posted on AO3. The series is called The Lewisverse after storyteller, writer, witch, and Collie rescuer Barb Lewis. Mostly this series is me remembering friends who have passed and hoping to bring attention to their names, their place in Fandom history. And this it has done. (Note - there are many unsung fanfiction writers out there in print who will never be archived on easily accessed archive.)

LESSONS LEARNED:

Never say no to a ship no matter how improbable.

You are never to old to pick up the pen (again).

Should Writer's Glock hit you - don't ask "should I". Do it.

Recursive fanfiction is worth doing well - be respectful.

And maybe, most important - enjoy your Fandom friends to the fullest while they are with you. There will come a day when their stories end. Be there until that time.

And, related to this ↑ tell their stories when they are gone.

8 seconds · Clipped by Jamie Burnett-Cooper · Original video "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome - We Light The City For Those Out There [HD]" by Cy

jambananacalm

And the work continues beyond 2026

#Recursive Fanfiction #AO3 #Fanfiction #Fandom #Ficafic #shipping #lessons #miami vice #fuzzy thoughts #crockett/castillo #really not my pairing but here I am #barb lewis #sharon gates

jambananacalm

Fuzzy Thoughts: Anti-Schmanti Purity Culture and Witch Burning

The first thing ya gotta understand about those who hunt Witches - their belief in their Dogma is Absolute.

♦ We have moral clarity to define the Witch. ♦ By our creed we will purge the Witch. ♦ We burn to save the children/women/way of life ♦ Innocents that burn aren't innocent - they were too close to the fire ♦ Our righteousness supersedes ALL because Our understanding of the situation is given by the Divine. ♦ We reserve the right to change our Creed in Righteousness as we see fit and at any time.

So then

What is a Witch Hunt and what does this have to do with Purity Culture much less Fan Ficiton?

We get the term from the horrific hysterical history of the Patriarchy charging across Europe accusing, arresting, torturing, burning women for being women, children for being children, and men who stood up and said: "Hey... wait a minute."

It began in ernest with the publication of The Malleous Maleficarum - or The Witches Hammer - that led to centuries of torture and burning of Human Beings by other human beings. This tomb of torture was written by two psychologically unstable hucksters that gave permission to persecute anyone - mostly women - with whom any powerful person/persons/institutions found offensive. The book really came out of the fervor of the Crusades... and we all know how that turned out... or we should. (Google it or slosh through this. )

Anti's fit the classic profile to a Witch Hunting Mob.

♦ They claim moral clarity to define the impure. ♦ They systematically dox those they define impure. ♦ They harass and dox to save us all from 'pedos' and 'groomers' ♦ A kid writing love story about a 17 & 18 yo in a relationship means you are too close to being impure and should suffer the consequences. ♦ Their righteousness requires everyone else to submit least they be judged impure. After all, they are the good because the b-i-b-l-e tells them so. (Everybody sing or else.) ♦ They change with every spasm of their dogmatic agenda. Today it's fan fiction, fan art, next it's your Tumblr post and don't even THINK about posting ideas and questions on the /relationships subreddit concerning your boyfriend who is 6'4" to your 5'1" but is ten years younger than your 35 years... seriously, don't do it because those sharks will rip you apart with calls of 'pedo', 'groomer', 'minor coded', 'molesters' ... And they won't agree on who is doing what to whom because their creed changes person to person hourly.

BUT... Live and let Live... right?

The topic of Fanfiction v Purity Culture appears with increasing regularity on Reddit's sub r/FanFiction. In one of the current threads a contributor had a rather rude awakening when they found an unreasonable adult playing the part of Hysterical Anti. We tend to group these people a subset labelled "young and uninformed". We - those of us who have tried to remain chill and tolerant of 'The Other' - have failed miserably at recognizing the Wolf under all that fluffy wool covered Sheepy sweetness.

It's not about fanfiction, nor art... it is about control. It is about maintaining control of our cultural definitions and perceptions of right and wrong. And, like the witch hunts of long ago, it is not based on reality. It is the loudest voice stirring up a smoke and mirrors lie, then throwing gasoline into the mix. It is bullying, it is stalking, it is terrorism.

Or, as u/Daxcordite posted after throwing the topic into a crucible and burning off the extraneous 'live and let live' bull shit:

We can not fight hysteria with reason. Entire villages tried that tact in Germany and were burned to the ground. No. Reason doesn't work. We must find a different way; for the possibility of being called out as a Witch is higher in certain Fandoms, but prevalent in all.

Be intolerant of Intolerance. Don't let the first transgression pass on your account. Tell them to stop being a bully and a word terrorist. Tell them to take their Witch hunt elsewhere.... turn them in, block them, post their account names... (for they will certainly post yours). Lock down your accounts if you have to. But don't... don't... do not ignore them. They will not go away until they can start a fire.

jambananacalm

Fuzzy Thoughts - Being Differently Abled

So the "A" on my key board is... defective. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it sticks and sometimes it won't respond at all. So I get this.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I know. Tke it prt nd fix it. But you see... tht hsn't worked. So my bility to crete is hmpered gretly. See?

I write for aaaaaaaaaaaaaa living. Technical Writing (which I am very good at) - is different thn cretive stuff - which I do for fun (which I am oky at). TW is pretty stright forwrd - except... even Tech needs the " " tht will not work.

SMH. New computer isn't in the budget so thingd just got interesting.

This brings me to being Disabled or Differently-Abled.

There are innumerable ways to be D.Abled. And often it is a combination of things rather than one single thing that keeps us from fully utilizing the systems set up for an 'Average Human'. The systems put in place to give equal access fall under the umbrella term

ACCESSIBILITY

But people in the know will chuckle and say "Okay. Now what? Define that puppy.

Anything that "keeps [someone] from using systems" is a barrier to access. Those who can not use the average systems are left outside the normative experience of ... well... anything really.

That's the fact of existing for those of us who do not fit the psper-cut-out of 'Normal' or 'Average'.

You can't read the form to get a copy of your birth certificate because the lighting in the room is subpar and the text is too small. Or - the computer screen is a jumble of white and pastel and the click box is somewhere in the middle of all that but the terminal is in the sun and you can't see it... and there is no one available to help.

The ramp is blocked. The elevator jam is too wide. The parking ramp isn't lit. The surface of the parking lot is fractured with holes and cracks. The movie is not subtitled, the movie does not have audio description. The dog is not allowed at your feet. Your visual timer is not allowed at your work station because 'it looks cluttered'. Letters are seen by your eyes but are jumbled by your brain and there's no one willing to give you an oral test. Your skin requires shade, but you're constantly told to take off our hat.

We are differently abled and we bring our systems with us, when possible, to help us navigate the places you take for granted. Along with these tools that make us stand out...

"Sir, I would turn off my phone but it is providing speech to text transcription of the movie so that I can read the dialog when their lips are not facing me. I promise it will not ring."

... is being constantly subjected to everyone else's opinion of your abilities as perceived by their full-abled normal-ness to surf the world.

And those opinions will be provided publicly - with or without a side dish of humiliation. Everyone is socially abled to have an opinion on YOUR ability or inability to use or need systemic assistance. Especially that disability is invisible. Everyone feels it's their right to judge whether you are 'faking' either for attention or a check.

↑ Thank you VoodooHorde on DeviantArt ↑

We are differently abled. We need assistance of various kinds to navigate a world that is fashioned for the fully-abled. We know the world is not set up for us, we don't expect it to be. We do, however, expect to have options available that allow us to participate and a certain amount of empathy goes a long, long way in helping.

We are differently abled and if you're curious about what that may be like... try loosening your A key ... then go on line and try to communicate as 'normal'. When your friends on Discord or TikTok or Facebook say something about your spelling, explain to them that your A is wonky. Sit back and endure the flood of well meaning or accusatory comments ... that is kinda what it's like for us every day.

charlizetheronsbush-official

peak james holden moment: when he rolls up on ilus and everyone hates him bc he acts like god’s specialest boy, then literally everyone but him starts going blind and they’re like holy fuck he actually is god’s specialest boy for real

jambananacalm

You don't mess around with Jim.

#the expanse #james holden

facelessfrey

Finally watching the Expanse and predictably I’ve been enjoying it so that means more character art!

elasticveins

Boys when they forget to post things for five months

radiofreeeros

The Expanse really had everything-

Just some guy running on coffee and bad decisions, the QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE who says fuck a lot, Murder-friend, women with major competence, muscles, and eyeshadow, the saddest disaster man in the universe, real physics

goth-queen

jambananacalm

KEVIN!!!!!!!

#art #artists on tumblr #goth #haha #kevin the cat #humor

ramshacklefey

Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."

jambananacalm

Really... in the Dog World... "Tail" as old as time itself.

wander-without-cause

Report from the Comments

Early in May there was a post in praise of the variety, the persistence, & the wonder that is the Fanfiction Writer.

In a comment - now removed - a commenter voiced their problem with reading the original post due to the lapslock, no punctuation, run-on texting-thought-salad style that some bloggers enjoy or see as inherient to certain platforms' culture.

The commenter ended by asking what kind of neurodivergent Hell was this?

A number of people took that as a shot to neurodivergency and responded with sarcasm, ridicule, & "ackshually" shots.

None of them looked past their own snark to see:

The Commenter was neurodivergent and finds the no capitalization / no punctuation / run-on style difficult to comprehend. That's reasonable. And - depending upon their feed - they may not have run into this minimalist style.

My response:

I started a conversation with this commenter. They were interested in the OP topic but couldn't parse the non-standard style. I get that.

Information presentation can be a barrier - especially to those of us with non-typical executive function. Also - it's social media where we all speak in a kind of emerging short hand founded in texting culture.

Unfortunately before we'd gotten into those weeds, the original comment was getting negative traction & there was bitching by other commenters. [I mean - even MY response ☝️ illicited a 'skooling' on stream of consciousness history because I observed that the style was "a trend" to which someone took exception.]

So - in short -

Tumblr has one less account today as the group of pro- neurodivergence keyboard warriors chased a neurodivergent person off the platform. And I'm a bit sad about that because - why?

The inability to empathize with someone saying:

I cannot read this.

My executive function cannot handle this.

The hurts to read.

Are all valid statements of frustration. Our language brains are taught - not innate - we learn the patterns of communication & some brains are more rigid than others. Instead of offering grace & empathy to one it purportedly supports this community chose Trolling - and now there is one less voice here today.

It's a small thing. It's probably only a "me" thing. But here we are.

Seek first to understand before seeking to be understood. ~ S.Covey

Also - to the lovely being with whom I exchanged discourse on stream of consciousness et.al. - the minimalist post is absolutely a trend. It is bleeding over onto multiple platforms & being discussed as a viable form signaling age & social group. This trend looks a lot like SoC & IM but the root stock is different. The root is most often texting (with it's myriad of social signaling rules) rather than an artistic choice. And here, on Tumblr, it's a fitting-into a niche within the larger platform culture.

And - it so happens - that for a particular segment of folk, that style is not optimal as a form of communication.