deerthur

yup yup

[whitetailbuck]

ꔫ ⠀⠀⠀ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 ⠀⠀⠀⠀𐂯 ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ◝ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ᵎᵎ

ミ ⋆ bell (i also go by wren & sword) ⸝⸝ he / they

: 𓎢𓎟　⠀ ⁺　　queer　⠀ ﹕⠀　apatheticmasc 　

⼺⠀ ⠀ ⋆ ⠀ ⠀𓏵‎‎⠀ . ‎ ☕ ݃

[springlucked]

they are like bugs to me

[qpokip]

would u be able to perhaps draw sword bean and venomshank bean im gonna die ,,,...

keeping the baby warm

[whitetailbuck]

let’s cuddle with mama

[shaguarawnn]

quick doodle of these guys,, merry christmas everyone

[sgt-dickhead]

I deeply love characters who have no way out. This is why my 3 favourite COD characters are Price, Ghost (09 specifically) and Valeria. Let me explain - for Price and Ghost I can’t see them retiring or just having a life outside of the military in general. They don’t have a family (canon for Ghost, my headcanon that Price isn’t close to anyone he’s related to) and they’ve been in the service for such a long time and went through so much they wouldn’t be able to adjust to civilian life like AT ALL. With Valeria it’s purely my headcanons but I see her as a kind of doomed character who lost a chance at a different kind of life the moment she enlisted. I think she was treated really badly in the army (sexual harassment is what I’m thinking) and couldn’t report it (it was a superior officer, corruption, even if she disclosed it she wouldn’t get justice and it’s likely she’d just suffer more). But since it’s the military she couldn’t just quit. So she looked for any way out and when someone from her team who was secretly an enforcer for the cartel approached her she took the only opportunity she had. And since I love angst I’m thinking about her knowing what she’s going to do, just waiting for the right time to come, planning all of it, all while hiding it from Alejandro, fully aware that he’ll never know the why behind her actions, that he’ll never get over her betrayal.

I’m planning to write a whole fic about this actually but God, writing is HARD

[whitetailbuck]

BEGGING YOU TO WRITE A WHOLE FIC ABOUT IT🙏🙏🙏🙏

[kanonbea]

THEY MADE ME SOB. ivan stop that.

[whitetailbuck]

john price is very ethel cain to me

[whitetailbuck]

john price who blames and beats himself up every day after soaps death. reciting all of the possible ways he could have prevented it over and over in his head, drinking until until he passes out and then getting up in the morning like nothing happened- but everyone can tell. it should’ve been him, why wasn’t it him? he can’t stop thinking about it. he’s ridden with this festering guilt and shame like never before and he doesn’t have an outlet for it.. so he takes it out on those around him. but most of all, he takes it out on himself.

[our-sinister-night]

[priceobsessed]

this prayer from perverts but it's prices mother murmuring prayer with him in her arms after his father had hit him again. she couldn't fight back, or comfort him out in the open. so she'd place a hand on his chest, and quietly sing prayer to him as a mean's of comfort. to say 'god is closer to you'. he believed it then.

price stupidly murmured the same prayer whilst he was in imprisonment. bruised, sore in places he wished not to be, and oh so cold. if he listened hard enough, the stone walls echoing his words could be mistaken for his mothers voice singing back to him.

[sgt-dickhead]

cw: substance/alcohol abuse

Thinking about Price struggling with addiction. He wouldn’t do drugs because he could get in serious trouble if he got caught but alcohol use is widely accepted, so he drinks. Never on missions though, this man is so focused on doing what he has to, he doesn’t think about anything else. But when there’s nothing to occupy his mind completely? Plagued by nightmares, memories, regrets, and guilt. At first drinking helped, but it very quickly escalated from a few beers to constantly pouring himself more and more whiskey, only getting more drunk until his mind was finally quiet, until he passed out. And it worked, right up to the point where everything was 100 times worse when he wasn’t inebriated, the nightmares more frequent, the memories more vivid. So I’m thinking about him being stuck in that loop of drinking because he’s miserable and then being even more miserable the second he sobers up.

[whitetailbuck]

oh yeah price angst.. YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT SHIT!!!!

[whitetailbuck]

thinking about price who is eventually forced to retire due to old age or an injury he cannot come back from. he wouldn’t cope with it, he wouldn’t cope with living without having a purpose. he knew he wouldn’t. he’d drown himself in alcohol and cigars and no matter how much laswell tries to pull him out of the water he’s just fallen too deep and there’s nothing anybody can do to save him. he never thought he’d live this long and he’s always had the thought of taking his own life in the back of his mind- but now it’s different because he feels he finally has a real reason to go through with it and will not feel guilty for doing so

i yearn for the price angst

[jinx-diedd]

This, but different and also Nikolai dies. [Nikprice]

[CW: MCD]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

John had barely survived the explosion by the skin of his teeth; leg shattered to bits and a nasty gash on his shoulder from falling what felt like 20 stories (it was 3, but the hill he rolled down afterward made it more like 6).

He'd been stuck half-strapped down to a hospital bed for at least a month, shitty food and shittier company since his boys had left around four days ago due to another trail on their current target.

And to top it all off, medical discharge.

He was out of the game, period. Point blank. Laswell gave her condolences when telling him, dropping off the papers and metals and then promptly disappearing too. What a shitty week, eh?

Getting discharged from the hospital led him home, finding his flat full of his office decorations, books, junk, and god too many bottles. Laswell must've passed by, speaking that the place looked a tinge cleaner than he remembered.

A sent thanks and a power off of his phone, he dove into the bottles he swore he'd never open—keepsake, and all.

Come a few days weeks, many bottles, and no Nikolai later, Price finally decided to clean up (what he could) so that in the event Nik came back from whatever country they'd been sent to, he wouldn't come home to his husband in a wreck of a flat.

Powering the cracked thing on for music, he realized he missed quite the amount of phone calls and messages on his phone.. allmost all from Kate. Knowing he was in deep shit, he replyed to Laswell's "Call me right fucking now, John" from days ago with a quick "Now?"

Of course he got a phone call in reply.

The call was quick. Practiced, even. Like when he set up an appointment to start physical therapy.

But desk clerks don't tell you that the man you've been hunting for the last fucking half year got another hit on the people you made a family.

Desk clerks don't tell you that you allmost lost all your boys in a crash.

And desk clerks sure as hell don't tell you that you're husband was KIA.

John hung up after hearing so.

Field manuals tell you many things. How to clear a building, how to make explosives out of shit tits and nothing. How to stretch rations to make for days of food, how to properly wear a gas mask for fucks sakes.

They do not tell you how to cope when you lose usefulness. Lose purpose. Defently not when you lose your family.

So it wasnt suprising when Kate did a wellness check visited her old friend to find flies in the windows and an eviction notice on the door.

Guess she has to cancel that appointment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

haha uhm hi first time writing 😅😅 kinda short hope its okay :ppp

[IF OP WANTS ME TO TAKE THIS DOWN PLLSSSSS LET ME KNOW I DON'T WANNA BE THAT KIND OF PERSON😭🙏]

[whitetailbuck]

I LOVE THIS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!! wouldve commented on it but my tumblrs acting up TᴖT

[whitetailbuck]

i think maria from tlou and kate laswell from cod would be the best of friends

[priceobsessed]

WARNING. this post contains themes that elude to sexual assault and torture. read at your own risk.

i listened to perverts by ethel cain when i was writing this.

a frequent thought i have is about prices' torture and imprisonment. i talked about this in another ask, but i hate how they switched prisoner 627 to be makarov. for whatever reason (probably to try and keep some of the older themes in, but the nostalgia cow is dying. pls let it go.)

but one thing i think about extensively is what kind of torture and how it's impacted his day-to-day life. in no aspect would he be able to enjoy intimacy anymore because of the sexual torture he was forced to go through, and it's something that keeps him up at night. it may be a stretch, but i think about it often. seeing bodies not as something to be appreciated, treasured, and touched, but as more of a vessel. something that sparks the thought of 'how useful will you be to me in the long run?'

he cannot enjoy intimacy in any aspect, and it affects a lot of things in his life. his father would always preach about having an obedient wife who cooks for you and gives you kids - but the thought makes his stomach churn. nothing about it is enjoyable, meaningful or special to him anymore.

sometimes, he still sees himself as an empty husk with nothing inside but the use of children. his fathers words ring in his head very often.

[whitetailbuck]

oh my god

[whitetailbuck]

thinking about price who is eventually forced to retire due to old age or an injury he cannot come back from. he wouldn’t cope with it, he wouldn’t cope with living without having a purpose. he knew he wouldn’t. he’d drown himself in alcohol and cigars and no matter how much laswell tries to pull him out of the water he’s just fallen too deep and there’s nothing anybody can do to save him. he never thought he’d live this long and he’s always had the thought of taking his own life in the back of his mind- but now it’s different because he feels he finally has a real reason to go through with it and will not feel guilty for doing so

i yearn for the price angst

[whitetailbuck]

tw for sensitive topics

thinking about price who has suicidal ideation related thoughts that linger in the back of his mind and has had those thoughts for all his life.. or at least for as long as he can remember. maybe he thought about doing it as an ‘angsty teen’, as his father would say, but he was always too much of a coward to go through with it. maybe he thought joining the army would give him a reason to die so he wouldn’t have to do it by himself. maybe still now he longs for the day he will receive that fatal shot or the blow to the head that will put him out of his misery. he never thought he’d live this long and maybe a part of him still now fears death. he has seen far too much of it. he has seen the look in his opponents eyes when they realise they aren’t gonna make it and in a way that terrifies him. he could never do it on his own and he can’t even admit that to himself

[whitetailbuck]

john price isn’t a good person. he isn’t an innocent old man, he doesn’t coddle his men, he doesn’t feel remorse for his killings and crimes- not in the moment anyway, he’s learnt to turn that part of his feelings off. you have to, to be able to do these things. price is a hardened soldier who will not hesitate to do the dirty work. he doesn’t hesitate to make sacrifices and get blood on his hands for the sake of the world. “we get dirty, so the world stays clean.”

his in game biography states that he specialises in unconventional warfare. unconventional warfare consists of diversion, sabotage, propaganda, espionage, subversion.. the list goes on. it can be immoral and in some cases illegal. while it is likely price doesnt initiate these directly- to be the captain of the 22nd SAS regiment would mean that he would have had to contribute to it multiple times.

he’s been a part of the army from ages 16 to 37 and has had so much experience up to the point where he can casually hold a conversation over the phone while sniping somebody, keeping a straight face. he threw a man begging for his life over a ledge to save the majority, he took a mother and her child hostage and interrogated the father in front of them. people seem to forget this man’s morally grey character aspects and i could talk about it forever