Siem Reap is difficult to describe. Not as difficult as India (which we may have done a botched job of describing in comments outside of this blog….), but similarly a city of crazy juxtapositions and contradictions and not-so-savory tourism culture. Because it would be impossible to describe it “accurately,” we’ve decided to take a different approach; one inspired by a particularly genius or shall-we-say-creative evening in the aforementioned city….
Ways Siem Reap is like Disney World:
For many, Siem Reap is literally the “Happiest” place on earth. Walk down any city side street and you will not be able to escape the ubiquitous curved logo. No, not Mickey Mouse. Rather: 😃🍕😃🍕😃🍕😃🍕😃🍕😃🍕😃🍕
Moving on, through the (shockingly overpriced) ticket booths:
First: THE HIDDEN TEMPLE RIDE!!!! Strap yourselves in, feel the unnaturally warm air brushing against your sweaty, Deet-covered, sunscreeny skin, listen closely to the bureaucratically-mandated-safety-instructions-cum-history-lessons, and prepare yourself for the journey of a lifetime. The “small temple loop,” as it is affectionately called, zips you from Angkor Wat, to Angkor Thom, to some other Wat, to Wat-chamacallit, to I-Forget-Wat-It’s-Called, to Wat’s That?, to Ta Prohm (a/k/a the Tomb Raider temple). It is amazing and epic and so fun and it happens so fast you feel like you need to ride it again except that the crowds and the heat are oppressive, so you don’t.
Next: “Epcot Center.” At Siem Reap’s more “adult” attraction—the Downtown—the bright lights and sparkles and colors and noises do not relent. The bars and restaurants are themed! The Beatles! Old Shanghai! Hipster! French Colonialism! Skateboarding! Take ten steps in any direction and you will be confronted with a dozen ways to spend money on “authentic ethnic delights”: Food! Alcohol! Massage! Games! Toys! Handcrafted wares! Tanks full of fish to stick your feet into!
Unfortunately, unlike it’s Orlando counterpart, the A/C is not supercharged and there are no human misters. However! Much like Disney World, the ancient city of Angkor provides an incredible view of a dominant culture at its zenith, for all it’s whimsical beauty, idealism, and brutality, not to mention family friendly fun. Bucket list item without question.
P.S. We are sad to report that the plot to take over Siem Reap by large groups of Chinese Nationals is as real as the Chinese subversion of Disney and children’s entertainment in general. It began with Mulan, it continued with Kung Fu Panda, and it cannot be ignored in the smallest of unsuspecting tourist venues.
….In all seriousness, we really liked Siem Reap. It inspires imagination better than most places one can visit in this waking, terrestrial world. It recalls a sense of wonder that seems reserved for childhood. Not to mention: we had a couple of fantastic meals at Marum and Sugar Palm (and almost at Cuisine Wat Damnak, although I was able to secure a rezzie for our soon-to-be-travel-companions, and they loved it). We had some fantastic cocktails at Miss Wong’s (more Kampot pepper!! In Bloody Mary’s!!!!!! A delicious local take on a homesickness-inspiring cure for heat and hangover, all in one). We loved our stay at the Rose Apple guesthouse. We loved seeing the incredibly intricate Banteay Srei and the jungle consumed Tah Prohm. We were humbled and grateful to visit the Landmine Museum, which chronicles the devastation of American and Khmer Rouge military practices and the ongoing, heroic efforts of Cambodians to undo them. And, especially, we had a great time hanging out with our adventure-loving friends, Katie and Owen. Love you, dudes.
