Different Forms of Introductions & What They Imply
Whether you know it or not, how you make an introduction to someone tells that prospect two things:
What you think of the people you are introducing
How important that introduction is to you
It is another form of nonverbal communication. Many people don’t think about it, especially with the advent of electronic introductions, but when you make an introduction, you’re either adding or subtracting to your reputation with both the prospect and the requestor. It has been my experience that a lot of people don’t truly know how to make a proper introduction plus we generally like the simplest and easiest way to do things. As a result, way too many folks email the prospect, copy the requestor, suggest they both get together and then move on. That type of introduction called a single-opt in intro because only one person, the requestor, has opted in. 95% of the time, that is a big mistake. How many times has someone copied you on an intro and that prospect never even responded, even after you reached out several times? Have you ever closed the deal with that type of intro?
Double opt in introductions are the way true professionals make an intro to ensure no one is wasting their time. AVC has a great example of a double opt intro. Except for very rare circumstances, I always ping the prospect, share with them what the requestor is interested in discussing / accomplishing with the intro, and then see if the prospect is willing to take the requestor’s call. Now, when the requestor reaches out, expectations are set and there is a higher degree of likelihood your intro will be accretive to both your relationships.
There are few absolutes in business so the situation will vary from case to case. Plus, the context of how well you know the prospect and their respect for you has a big impact on how you make the intros. Another variable is whether you’re getting a fee of any kind (retainer vs. % of the deal) or simply helping two people you know. It is always best to be transparent in those situations. To help you with some general rules, below is a guideline on the continuum of introductions from least important to the most important.
Comment or tweet any questions you may have.
“Here’s who to call but don’t mention my name.” This is mostly done on the low end of the executive scale with people who are not strong in the organization. Just knowing where the hill is can be helpful, but this is best corroborated with another source who will make the intro for you and put you in the best light.
"Just tell them I told you to call / mention my name." People use this often and most all the time it is wrong. The exception is when you are such good friends with the prospect, and they respect you so much, that they’ll take your word this requestor is worth their time. When coupled with a separate email/text or call to the prospect to give them a heads up they may get a call from XYZ on topic ABC, that will help facilitate a more productive conversation. No one likes to be surprised and too often people stretch the truth and say "XYZ suggested I call you” when they really didn’t.
Double opt in - weakest but perfectly fine in most cases:
"I emailed/texted them and they’re expecting your call.” Double opt in introductions are almost always the best and they are appreciated by both the requestor and the prospect. Taking the time to make sure the prospect is interested in learning more helps to ensure the introduction is worth the time of all involved. It makes you look more professional as well.
"I called them and they’re expecting your call." When you take the time to call the prospect and have a conversation about the introduction it shows this is an important introduction and you want to make sure it goes well for both parties. It is a little bit better than the previous one re: emailed/texted but along the same lines.
Double opt in - pre meeting
"I had lunch/coffee/meeting with them and they’re expecting your call.” When you set things up in person, you are in command of the situation. In a lot of cases, this is overkill, especially if for a less important introduction. But, for really important transactions like if the requestor is selling their company, looking to close a huge deal, a government diplomat in a sensitive situation, or dealing with a sensitive topic or quirky people, setting the stage in a pre meeting can be the difference between a deal and no deal.
Triple Opt In - When you go to the meeting yourself.
"Let’s the 3 of us go to lunch/breakfast/dinner/office/drinks after work.” This is normally best when the prospect has already agreed to the meeting. When you get involved, it can send one of several signals: one is that you have a financial interest in the transaction and you’re wanting to shepherd the deal through the whole process. Another is that you are there to show your support for the requestor, or you could be a gatekeeper / advisor for the prospect and want to hear the exact pitch so you can provide full context advice. Or it could be that you are simply good friends with the two other parties and want to keep in touch. During the meeting, or before, it is normally a good idea to help set the stage and tell them why you’re taking the extra time to be there for the meeting. Keep expectations and motivations on the table and you will be respected for that. Less transparency = less trust = less respect.
Triple Opt In - When the gathering is over multiple hours or, even better, days.
"Let’s go play (pick an activity/sport you all enjoy/hunting/fishing/camping, bird watching, etc...) together" - that day or on a trip. Add in on your yacht or plane for extra oomph! This is where real relationships are formed. When you spend an hour or two with someone, that helps build a relationship, even better if that time is spent playing a sport you all enjoy like golf or tennis. But when you go on trips together, you’re building lasting relationships, memories and shared experiences and that is the core of how relationships are built.
I know a senior partner at one of the top system integrators. He was near retirement and an avid golfer and fisherman. His firm gave him a $3mm budget a year to take clients and prospective clients anywhere in the world. That $3mm turned into relationships that, on average, created over $250mm in new business every year. His sole responsibility was to build relationships and then introduce the other partners in the firm who did the selling. He was always selling though never “sold” anything.
Related to that, I have another friend who built up a multi billion dollar wealth management business, specifically a “Multi Family Office” after selling his operating company. He had a Gulfstream IV and, more often than not, he’d take the top prospects and their primary point of contact at his firm (wealth advisor) on a trip in his plane somewhere to seal the deal, which they did more often than not. The common correlation = time with those involved so that a relationship was formed.
The bottom line is people do business with others they trust and respect. You might not have a plane or a $3mm budget to wine and dine, but you do have your integrity, your reputation and you definitely know two people who would benefit from knowing each other. Always think about how to make the best introductions to help other people. Use that skill wisely and you will succeed in ways you never thought possible! Aim high!
