Who gets my Goat?

[whogetsmygoat]

Quick Fire WTF Goat

A couple of WTF Goats. Things that only exist so somebody doesn’t get sued but shouldn’t because it is blindingly obvious.

Wet Floor Signs..........At a Swimming Pool.

Hazard Tape and a Mind the Step Sign..........On a Step.

If you are eye level with a door lintel etc, then duck! Nope...Mind your Head sign is right there.

Hot Surface Sign on an Oven or Food Warmer.

Stop being dicks.

[whogetsmygoat]

Stupid Fat Fingers

Is my fingers fat? No I’m a goat!

But for the finger blessed, are your fingers fat? or are phone buttons to small? My assumption is that it has gone the same way as the Chomp. You know the massive sweetie for 10p! Only now it’s like tiny and £40. 

So fat fingered persons you have typed a message out and pressed send and immediately thought, oh fuck, didn’t check that. In that time you have already had 4056 replies with a laughy emoji asking what the fuck is a ‘fr morning’?

Not to worry it was spell checker. It corrected “my holiday in Cyprus was magical” to “there was a volcanic eruption that caused a Tsunami in the Basin and The Rangers were still admitted to the league” Ah...no but spellchecker did it.

Fuck it, set alarm. Go to sleep. Phone runs out of battery. Late for work. Charge phone and find out you were late for work because your WhatsApp group played replace the song title with ‘pkeasr’ all fucking night.

Until next time, stay angry.

[whogetsmygoat]

Money Saving Goat #2- Click and Collect Shopping

Having now becoming obsessed with never paying full price for something I have another Money Saving Goat for you.

This works best with click and collect shopping. Stores like Halfords, Argos, Tesco etc.

First head over to Zeek via Top Cashback for cashback, and check their vouchers for sale. They have vouchers for sale at a discount. Maybe your workplace has a scheme. Worth checking out as they can often send e-vouchers. Select the vouchers you want.

Second, head over to Top Cashback and select the retailer you wish to shop at. Click through to the retailer and shop as normal. 

Click and Collect works best as you are using the vouchers in store and by not using them online you have not invalidated the Top Cashback cashback. Just ensure the cashback is valid for click and collect.

I have used this mainly for Halfords and received the vouchers and cashback with no problems.

Keep enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling of saving money.

[whogetsmygoat]

Money Saving Goat #1- Train Tickets

Since this is the first Money Saving Goat, it is only fair that I let you know what it’s all about. Money Saving obviously. But this isn’t do this or do that per se. It is more about my experiences and how I saved money. Hopefully you can copy it or at least take ideas from it. So, to the first Money Saving Goat.

Train tickets! Expensive enough without adding booking fees etc.

I recently had the pleasure of booking a single train ticket from Ayr to Montrose for a Friday. The cost came in at £48.30.

I figured that was really expensive and started looking for ways to make it cheaper. My first port of call was Stagecoach to check prices for the X7 bus service from Perth to Montrose. Well, to my surprise this direct bus service came in at £7.70 single. So I then checked train prices for Ayr to Perth. This came in at £14.30. Already a significant saving. So happy with my saving, I thought I might as well check the train price for Perth to Montrose. Single ticket came in at £13.40.

Most of you will know that sites like TicketySplit exist for this reason, but they did not pick up this split. So I am feeling particularly proud of this saving.

Original cost £48.30

Split Cost £27.70

Saving £20.60

Also, I booked them with Cross Country Trains which do not charge a booking fee and you can pick up your tickets form any ticket machine.

Let me know about how you make your savings.

[whogetsmygoat]

Check out "It'll be just us now." from Owlturd Comix on Tapas

[whogetsmygoat]

Corporate Copyright

So the Angry Goat is reading the newspaper and getting angry with the world. Nothing unusual in that. The world is a hideous place. Now one of those filler pieces really got my goat. A seemingly innocuous bit about copyright. But it has turned out to be potentially huge news. That’s the first angry bit about it.

By now you’ll be wanting to know what got Angry Goat so angry.

Specsavers have applied to copyright “should’ve” and “shouldve” I guess the second one is for the social media generation who seemed to have bypassed the need for proper grammar altogether.

Now there is nothing unusual in Corporate Bodies, Businesses etc trying to copyright everyday words and numbers. They are usually and correctly rejected. They are everyday words, they belong to everyone.

But to the goats shock and dismay, the IPO have approved the application. so now Specsavers ‘own’ should’ve and shouldve. A precedence has been set and the flood gates will now open for others to do the same.

What’s so bad? I hear you ask. Well, now Specsavers might be going through Twitter or Instagram and not like a post that has the word ‘should’ve’ in it and can tell you to remove the post and you HAVE to remove it or you will be in breach of copyright, This judgement has massive implications for the English language and how we can use it.

Now the reason they copyrighted those words is because of the extremely popular and memorable strapline, “Should’ve gone to Specsavers”. Okay fine, but why copyright should’ve. Everyone knows and uses it and associated it with Specsavers.

As an aside to how the English language is changing to become more corporate is the use of being ‘last minute’

I was watching the Olympics on the BBC when they were talking to some people about how they planned their trip to Brazil and what they were going to see. The response was that the decision was all very lastminute.com

WHAT! lastminute.com? Did you mean last minute? It was a spur of the moment decision? No?! It was lastminute.com. Incredible. Absolutely no reason to add .com there but the website got two unchallenged plugs on the BBC.

Language is changing and evolving and now there is a battle for ownership. The Angry Goat has warned you. Keep your eyes and ears peeled and don’t let them get away with it.

[whogetsmygoat]

New Customers Only

You probably know whats coming and I thought we were getting beyond this.

Yes, I am talking about deals. Specifically deals only available to New Customers. Does no-one care about loyalty anymore? Deals could be cheaper if you either threaten to quit or actually quit.

Recently I was faced with two ridiculous situations. Firstly, Privilege Insurance gave me my renewal quote. As always I shopped around and found that LV was equal cheapest. Equal with who, I hear you ask.. Privilege of course, but only for new customers. So I phoned them asked for a better quote and they couldn’t even beat their own ‘New Customers Only’ offer.

Secondly, my contract with 3 was up and I fancied a new phone. So after a loooooooooooonnnnnnggggggg time on hold then on the phone they refused to budge on any deal. I asked if the 6 months half price deal was available and was told that was for ‘New Customers Only’

I have picked on these two companies as that’s who I have recent dealings with but they are by far not the only ones that do this. BT immediately comes to mind, but they do have separate offers for existing customers.

So,

Companies of the world. Stop the ridiculous pursuit of New Customers at the expense of your loyal existing customers. Besides many of your new customers were probably an existing customer before they quit and tookup your ‘New Customers Only’ offer.

[whogetsmygoat]

Unnecessary Words

It’s often the smallest things that gets Angry Goat annoyed with the big things.

So when you see a sign that say’s ‘Traditional Free Range Eggs’ you would think great, go to  get myself some of them. But what was the point of adding ‘Traditional’? Eggs how chickens used to lay them, free range, which the sign already say’s they are. So we have a completely redundant word in the sign. But this is not unique.

People will often add words to make themselves seem cleverer. Or to portray positive connotations, like the previous example with the eggs, to make you want something.

Why use 3 words when 30 is better. Wrong! Lets just get to the point and stop wasting time adding unnecessary words.

[whogetsmygoat]

Headaches

How annoying! Right?!

Numerous causes for headaches and very few of them garnish any sympathy from anyone. You just have to get on with it.

Granted some are self inflicted, like a hangover. But there is many other reasons like too much coffee, not enough coffee, not hydrated properly, got the cold or generally feeling unwell. Eye strain can cause it.

Just take a couple of paracetamol. Or, find the cause like drink water, eat an apple instead of drinking coffee. Drink water before bed after a nightout.

Persistent headaches must be checked by your GP.

But for the most part they last no more than a day and they really suck all the motivation from you.

So, Angry Goat goes to;

Headaches. No I’m not the only one that gets them and there is worse things and you probably have it. But.....urgh.....headaches.

[whogetsmygoat]

Frenetic Pace of Life at Toddler Speed

Work hard, play hard. Those mostly uttered by twenty-somethings when they hit the town.

The Angry Goat is beyond twenty-something now and the pace of life is frenetic. Or is it?

Going to the shop a doddle. Going to the shop with kids, a chore. Now the speed at which you go to the shop is greatly decreased. Blood pressure increased.

This doesn’t mean having kids is all a chore but the transition from going for a pint to organising childcare is a tough change. I’ll be there in 5 becomes let me check my diary and it being fine in two months.

My Angry Goat;

Not to having kids. Not even the length of time things take but the expectation that we are and will be twenty something forever.

Time to grow up.

[whogetsmygoat]

Perfume Ads

Blunt and to the point but given, at the time of writing, this is the run up to Christmas we are all getting loads of Christmas adverts from retailers, some of whom maybe spending their entire marketing budget on getting their Christmas advert right.

Some just rehash previous Christmas adverts. Some it seems uses the same advert for years and years. The very worst ones are perfume ads.

There is the worst kind of moral message. Running out on your wedding. Jumping off bridges. Tearing off jewelry. Stealing speedboats. Shedding clothes.

And all because they are wearing some perfume. Nonsense.

How about an advert where some lassies are getting ready to go out and they are getting ready and they put on the perfume without disappearing through revolving doors and turning up in the passenger seat of the same car out back. You are not robbing the place!

BTW Perfume companies, you can have that!

So Angry Goat goes to;

Perfume Company Marketers. Change the record. Stop being so goddamned pretentious.

[whogetsmygoat]

Coffee Please

Not difficult. Getting yourself a coffee. Or is it....

No. You put on the kettle and make yourself a coffee. Simple!

But, what do you do when you get a hankering for a coffee when you are out and about. Again this is easy. There is very few places that don’t sell coffee these days. Even Garden Centres, Supermarkets, Fast Food Places and of course Coffee Shops like Costa and Starbucks, and if you’re lucky Independents.

I love coffee. I hate coffee shops. Why? Because they bombard you with questions. Go in and say coffee please. Simple. But no....faced with the enormous choice, Latte, Americano, Cappuccino. Then Small, Medium, Large and Super Large including whatever language they are using that day. Then just when you are losing all hope of getting a drink that you hope resembles coffee they ask you if want the milk in the coffee or separate. Separate? What next. Would you like me to add the water? Bad enough that when all is said and done you still have to use a stick to stir it and wait a fortnight for it to cool down.

Just imagine the fiasco if one of your workmates asks you if you want a coffee and goes through the whole rigmarole of kind, size, milk separate or not. You’d tell them to stop being a complete arsehole. So why put up with those coffee shops doing the same thing to you?

So, my Angry Goat goes to;

Coffee Shops that sell everything except coffee, as far as I know.

Note to the Costas and Starbucks etc of this world- If someone asks for a mug of white coffee. Just put coffee into a receptacle that closely resembles a mug and fill it with coffee and top it with milk.  

[whogetsmygoat]

Imponderable Kid #1

Baby Goats come out with the funniest things. They should raise a smile.

The First Imponderable Kid;

Why do bums not have knees because I can walk on my bum?

[whogetsmygoat]

Kudos Goat #5

Personally I have never seen the need to get Sky TV. Always just got all my viewing needs from Freeview. I always find I end up watching channels that are on Freeview when I’m flicking through someones Sky Box. The usual ‘goto’ channels like Dave and E4. 

But this Kudos Goat goes to a particularly special channel.

Quest TV Channel.

This channel has amazing programmes like Wheeler Dealers, How It’s Made, Engine Addict, Extreme Engineering, Rally Cross, Mighty Ships, Gold Rush, Gold Divers, How Stuff’s Made, Touring Car Championship and many more that don’t immediately come to mind.

But the shining example of Quest’s brilliance doesn’t actually happen till Monday 5th October. They are showing Deadliest Catch from the beginning.

And, all this on Freeview. All you need is a TV and maybe a set top box. So get rid of Sky, there is no need for it any longer.

Thanks Quest for your endlessly brilliant output.

[whogetsmygoat]

Ask the Goat. Submit Your Own Angry Goat.

Want to know what makes the Goat froth at the mouth with rage or fill with glee. Ask now here.

Also, does someone or something get your Goat? Why not submit your own now! Go here and send them now.

[whogetsmygoat]

Ponderable Goat #2

It’s new. Could be anything, clothes, road junction, laptop, brand of baked beans, house...anything at all!

But how long is something new for?

I have driven a road that say’s New Road Layout Ahead. It’s been there for over 10 years. Is the road layout still new?

I have clothes that I seldom wear that are years old that I still consider new.

Is your new mobile phone only new until the first scuff or scratch, or when a newer version comes out?

So;

How long is something new for?

[whogetsmygoat]

Kudos Goat #4

Supermarkets like Tesco and Asda could be accused of getting complacent in the face of new competition. Who can blame them, they have had it their own way for a long time and human nature usually dictates that we hate change. We like the familiar. It becomes part of the routine.

This is usually the biggest hurdle new competition have to get over in any industry they are entering.

So, when Lidl entered our wee town, we had a nosey and went back to Tesco.

Myself, in my attempt to keep the household bills down, I would buy the mountain of milk that we go through a week from Lidl. But then it happened. Like the boiling the frog analogy. You don’t realise that you have went to the till with more than just milk and can’t quite believe that you get change back from a fiver!

That was big news. But we didn’t jump in at the deep end. It was cereal one week, then nappies the next etc until our entire weekly shop, except Goat’s Milk, is from Lidl.

But we are conditioned by the likes of Tesco that there is such a thing as too cheap. You ever bought a tin of beans for 6p and ended up with red water with half a dozen beans in the tin?! So when you go round Lidl and see the prices, you think it can’t be any good.

You have maybe seen their latest TV adverts with the taste test. Try it. Nappies outperform Pampers. Lidl version of Snickers outperform Snickers. I could go on, but you get the idea.

So, very obviously, my Kudos Goat goes to;

Lidl. But not just for the price. The quality stands up as well and proves you don’t need to put up with inferior products for cheaper shopping.

BTW I only mentioned Tesco here because they are the only other supermarket in town, but the rest would be the same.