I literally haven't felt this low in a long long time and its over a man who barely even knows i exist. I didn't know you could fall this hard for someone you barely know. I didn't think i would ever feel like this again after I swore to never let my walls down to another man again. And yet I did, unintentionally but it happened. I've never really believed in love at first sight but there it was. Plain as day. My anxieties and worries just fell away. He made me feel confident in my own skin. He would stand and listen to me talk and give me these looks like I knew what he was thinking. He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me to him and I thought this might actually happen. I allowed myself to believe that this could actually happen and that was my mistake because seriously. Look at me. Noone is going to pick someone normal when they can date a supermodel. Noone.
And then nothing. No responses. No messages. Even when i cried out for help the man who bangs on about mental health ignores me. And now I just have this intense pain that won't go away. I cant stop crying. I cant stop thinking how fucking stupid I am for allowing myself to get in this deep. For letting myself really believe that there was a small possiblity that I could actually be happy. Because Fuck that. I don't get happy endings. I get shit and fucked over again and again. So Fuck You you manipulative tease and Fuck Me for believing in it.
