TEN TIPS TO A BETTER SELF-IMAGE
I came across this book - The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell - and I am learning a lot about growth. I decided to blog portions of it, so I can share it to all of you. I just finished reading CHAPTER THREE: The Law Of Mirror "You Must See Value In Yourself to Add Value to Yourself."
To build a better of self-image, please take to heart the following ten suggestions:
If we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. And the older we are, the more responsible we are for how we think, talk, and believe. Don't you have enough problems in life already? Why add to them by discouraging yourself every day with negative self-talk?
You need to become your own encourager, your own cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, don't just let it pass; give yourself a compliment. Every time you choose disciple over indulgence, don't tell yourself that you should have anyway; recognize how much you are helping yourself. Every time you make a mistake, don't bring up everything that's wrong with yourself; tell yourself that you are paying the price for growth and that you will learn to do better next time. Every positive thing you can say to yourself will help.
2. STOP COMPARING YOURSELVES TO OTHERS
What happens when you compare yourself to others? Usually it's one of the two things: either your perceive the other person to be far ahead of you and you feel discouraged, or you perceive yourself be better than the other person, and you become proud. Neither of those is good for you, and neither will you to grow.
Comparing yourself to others is really just a needless distraction. The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow. Do that enough, and if you look back and compare the you of weeks, months, or years ago to the you today, you should be greatly encouraged by your progress.
3. MOVE BEYOND YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
The greatest limitations people experience on their lives are usually the ones they imposed on themselves.
In his book The Success Principles, Jack Canfield offers a solution to self-limiting thinking. He recommends the following four steps to transforming limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs.
- Identify a limiting belief that you want to change.
- Determine how the belief limits you
- Decide how you want to be, act, or feel.
- Create turnaround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, or feel this new way.
Remember, in the end, it isn't what you are that holds you back; it's what you think you're not.
Because people with low self-esteem often see themselves as in adequate or feel like victims (which often starts because they actually have been victimized in their past), they focus inordinately on themselves. They can become self-protective and selfish because they feel that they have to be to survive.
If that is true of you, then you can combat those feelings by serving others and working to add value to them. Making a difference - even a small one - in the lives of other people lifts one's self-esteem. It's hard to feel bad about yourself when you're doing something good for someone else. In addition to that, adding value to others make them value you more. It creates a cycle of positive feeling from one person to another.
5. DO THE RIGHT THING, EVEN IF IT'S THE HARD THING
One of the best ways to build self-esteem is to do what's right. It gives a strong sense of satisfaction. And what happens whenever you don't do the right thing? Either you feel guilt, which makes you feel bad about yourself, or you lie to yourself to try to convince yourself that your actions weren't wrong or weren't that important,. That does harm to you as a person and to your self-esteem.
Being true to yourself and your values is a tremendous self-esteem builder. Every time you take action that builds your character, you become stronger as a person - the harder that task, the greater the character builder. You can actually "act yourself" into feeling good about yourself, because positive character expands into every area of your life. Giving you confidence and positive feelings about everything you do.
6. PRACTICE A SMALL DISCIPLINE DAILY IN A SPECIFIC AREA OF YOUR LIFE
If there is an area in your life that seems overwhelming to you - health, work, family, or something else - try chipping away at it as little bit every day instead of trying to tackle it all at once. Since your self-worth is based upon the positive habits, actions, and decisions you practice every day why not build your self-esteem and tackle your biggest problems at the same time? Don't fret or worry about it; do something specific about it. Discipline is a morale builder. Boost your by taking small steps that will take you into positive direction.
7. CELEBRATE SMALL VICTORIES
This is a follow-up to the previous ones. When you do the right thing or you take a small step in the right direction, what is your emotional response? What kinds of things do you tell yourself? Are your thoughts like these?
"Well, it's about time. I didn't do as much as I should have. That won't make a difference. It's hopeless - I'll never succeed."
Or are they more like these?
"It's good that I did that. I did the right thing - good for me! Every little bit helps. I'm that much closer to success."
If your thinking runs more like the first list, then you need to change your thinking.
I have to admit, I have no trouble celebrating small victories. Then again, I have no trouble celebrating big victories either. YOU SHOULD TOO! Taking a break to celebrate is good for you. If nothing is ever good enough, you can lose heart. Celebrating encourages you. It helps to inspire you to keep going. Don't underestimate its power.
8. EMBRACE A POSITIVE VISION FOR YOUR LIFE BASED ON WHAT YOU VALUE
If you have a positive vision for your life and you take action to fulfill that vision, you will more readily recognize that your life matters.
What do you value? What prompts you to see a positive vision for your life? If you don't have a vision, you are likely to be apathetic. However, if you tap into what you value and try to see what could be, it can inspire you to take positive action. And every positive action you take helps you to believe in yourself, which in turn helps you to take more positive action.
9. PRACTICE ONE-WORD STRATEGY
Pick one word that describes yourself! Why do I like this practice of picking one word? Because it tells you a lot about how you think about yourself. Try it. If you could pick one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mine is "WHOLEHEARTED" I hope you chose a positive word for yourself. If it's not then you need to change your word.
10. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE
We tend to get in life what we are willing to tolerate. If we allow others to disrespect us, we get disrespected. If we tolerate abuse we get abused. If we think it's okay to be overworked and underpaid, guess what will happen? If we don't have plan and purpose for our lives, we will become part of someone else's!
If you enjoyed reading, you will learn enjoy and learn more from the book itself. Go and get one for yourself! It's a good investment.
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