Homebody Sometime Traveler Girl @whydoubleu - Tumblr Blog

Kenang kenangan

Tadi abis nonton konser harry styles di netflix jadi nontonin this is usnya one direction, masih ada liamnya :") Nostalgia lagu lagu mereka yang bakal selalu senang kalo dengerinnya. Scene pas mereka ceritanya camping di hutan lumayan sendu. Mereka ngomongin kalo mereka udah gak ngeband bareng gimana, apa bakal tetep temenan. Kayaknya sih bakal tetep temenan. Ya seperti pertemanan dewasa lainnyalah ya.

Makin dewasa memang makin macem macem levelnya hehe alias situasi yang dihadapi. Jadi, belajar itu memang seumur hidup. Udah nikah, merasa udah mandiri dan gak mau lagi dikritik ini itu. Padahal orang tua butuh itu, butuh merasa dibutuhkan sama anaknya. Padahal dari kecil ya sampe sekarang kayaknya udah lumayan patuh dan ngedengerin banget. Kadang juga bingung, loh kan ini udah sesuai anjurannya, kok masih...kok rasanya salah..kok kurang ya...kok dibandingin ya. Kayak ya perkataan perkataan dulu yang berusaha diwujudkan dan akhirnya terwujud walau bentuknya mungkin gak sesuai harapan ya gak bisa dihindari.

Sekarang sudah punya pasangan. Sekarang sudah tidak kerja di kantor yang dulu. Ya terkabul.

Untuk bagian itu ya betul. Tapi kadang masih muncul perasaan atau pikiran apa salah ya keputusan keputusan ini. Apa terlalu membebani pasangan ya. Yang lain bisa kok menjalani yang seperti ekspetasiku di awal. Tapi yang lain sih bukan aku. Gak usah bandingin sih emang kuncinya. Fokus aja sama diri sendiri tapi namanya juga manusia kadang suka diini iniin.

Jadi wni wkwk

Gara gara mba saset jadinya satu negara heboh soal lpdp. Tadinya udah mager ngikutin isunya soalnya udah prediksi ini sih perihal kesombongan invidu dan kebagongan wni tersebut. Ya bener memang, akhirnya mutusin buat cek kronologi sama video asli konten tersebut. Memang konyol sih, bikin konten jadinya blunder kayak gak tau netizen indonesia yang punya sifat lebih pintar dari sherlock, bakal kepoin semua hal tentang anda jika disenggol. Ketauan deh swaminya belum melakukan salah satu kewajiban dari awardee lpdp yaitu mengabdi ke negara maksimal 2 tahun setelah lulus lol. Mungkin banyak ya yang kayak gini, bedanya gak dikontenin aja karena ya itu SALAH MRS. SASET DUILE. Malu harusnya. Jadi wni di masa masa sekarang tuh emang syulit, punya pemerintahan yang membagongkan memang bikin misuh misuh setiap hari cuma ya tolonglah dikontrol. Lulusan LN harusnya bisa lebih bijak karena dapet pengetahuan dan pengalaman lebih terkait kehidupan di luar, jadi bisa #wargabantuwarga. Gak tau sih ada trauma apa sama mbanya yang melekat sampai sekarang sampai jadinya lupa kalo anda itu wni yang sempat pakai pajak rakyat. Ya itu uang anda dan jutaan wni lainnya. Jangan ikutan jadi koruptor mba, apa yang kamu lakukan ya itu bibit bibit koruptor. Mending kasih tips dan trik buat jadi awardee lpdp biar dananya bisa dinikmati warga bukan buat koruptor koruptor itu. Udah sulit dapet beasiswa lpdp eh bakal makin sulit gara gara anda. Kesian deh wni karena perilaku antek antek asing seperti anda. Jangan alasan karena kondisi yang struggle setelah punya anak pas S2, ya namanya juga sudah menikah, itukan pilihan. Jangan playing victim. Menikah gak menikah, punya anak gak punya anak, jadi wni gak mau jadi wni itu pilihan. Asal jangan bct aja.

Ohh shhh here we go again

I have a good mood this morning and trying to started day with such mood everyday. However, these questions about work stuff from old workmate got me pretty krezi. I mean I no longer paid from that company, dem it. Trying to calm down but here me again will always work it out, help them again. Now its been 7 months Im trying to get a new job and its freaking not easy. How can these people do this? What is inside their mind?

Too attached

"I'm being too attached to you, being lean on you"

That's words that I was said to my husband like a week ago when I'm being dramatic that he will have a trip for wedding occasion only with his mates. Where I feel that I always ask him to accompany me whenever I'm going to a trip after we got married. Like regular jkt trip, I never going to Jakarta by myself without a reasonable reasons.

Well, I've been doing okay doing all alone for years before I met him though. I mean there will always my parents and family around, but some events I manage to do it by myself. I was alright when I'm the only one that doesn't have partner back then among my friends or cousins etc. I'm okay seeing couples while I'm being single for years.

Now I'm facing situation that my husband has an outing trip with fellow work mates in Bali and I have to attend a family event in Jkt, what I worried is how I deal as a married woman there, being alone and the situation is already on my mind like well everyone has their partner like I should control myself, I should remind myself that I was single for 26 years bro! why it should be hard? :]

2025 racing season talks (finally)

Next weekend's Abu Dhabi F1 GP will remarks the end of this year racing season. Well motogp already done like a few weeks ago with Marc as the world champion that already confirmed few weeks GP before the last one in Valencia.

We'll have quick review of motogp 2025 season from my pov, which actually its such a rollercoaster year for me with many big decisions here and there. Honestly, I didn't got to catch on every races especially since the championship winner has been decided. I mean Ducati, Aprillia and KTM still winning over Japanese teams such as Yamaha and Honda. Clearly, Japanese teams still struggle for this season pretty sad for Luca and Fabio especially since pandemic season he still couldn't get a competitive bike which I hope could help him fight Marc that Pecco couldn't do it this season. And yeah, I don't know what happen with Pecco I mean we all know he is in the same team with Marc and should be "the senior" but he struggle so much this season. There's a jinx that every time Bez wins then Pecco will be dnf and that's the fact sadly. I will always be vale fans and these days I will support vr46 academy riders for sure. I just hope next year the champion winner will be one of them.

Now its F1 season that will be ended next week in Abu Dhabi, which will be worth to watch as this season champion will be decided on the last race of this season and it is still open for these three drivers; include lando, max and oscar. Since Seb and Daniel, I support Lando but Oscar also get my attention as he's so calm and still young but also qualified as world champion. With some of clash between him and Lando, Well its like flashback when Vale and Jorge in the same team as title contender though so its reasonable to have some odd situations. I still hope that Lando got the title as simple as Oscar will can get his turn next year I mean he's still younger than Lando hehe.

Well, its nice to still be able releasing my inner motorsport fangirling and talk about it. Even though should be share spot with Manutd since the team getting better which mean they can still beat Liverpool in this situation. I mean manutd feel like its fine that you can't afford a trophy yet once you could beat that other red team :p

#moto gp #motogp #formula1 #f1 #2025 season #man united

Rasanya tgl 14 Nov 2025

Hari jumat selalu menyenangkan rasanya. Besok libur soalnya. Walaupun lagi jobless tetap excited menyambut hari libur swami. Hari ini selesai beres beres rumah ibu chat wa. Tanya kabar. Langsung balas vidcall. Sekali sekali inisiatif vidcall hehe. Tidak terasa sampai 1 jam. Menahan untuk tidak mellow. Yey aku bisa. Lalu bersih bersih bersiap mau laundry dan beli makan siang. Setelah selesai bersih bersih harus urus pompa air bocor. Alhamdulillah bisa langsung selesai diurus siang itu. Makan siang pakai nasi padang nikmeh rasanya. Setengah 2 ada interview dengan mba interviewer yang baik. Sebenernya lagi ogah ogahan soalnya gumoh ditolak, harus interview lagi harus isi isi biodata lagi. Tapi ya agar bisa berdaya ya harus dilakukan. Lagi gumoh lihat lihat job board dan masih patah hati akun linkedin tidak bisa diakses jadinya main the sims saja. Yang keempat. The sims 4. Lalu jam 5 mulai masak. Hari ini masak tumis cumi, tumis kangkung dan goreng tempe. Karena daster masih tercium sisa aroma cumi maka memutuskan untuk bersih bersih. Setelah bersih bersih nonton vlog Ria SW kuliner ke depok part 2 penasaran setelah nasi kimpul apakah dia akan nyobain mi bu e takor tercinta. Ternyata nggak. Mungkin ada part 3nya. Dilanjut nonton vlog papa darius masak masak di braga. Yang portugal ya punten. Karena lapar jadinya minta ridho swami untuk makan malam duluan #eh dikarenakan yang bersangkutan sedang bercengkerama dengan sobat bimbel. Setelah makan lanjut main the sims sembari menunggu swami pulang. Pulang pulang langsung harus benerin gembok karatan sama urus si Kyli yang lagi pilek ternyata. Dia kura kura ya. Lumayan padet hari ini. Menurutku. Tapi gak ngantuk ngantuk. Padahal gak tidur siang kayak biasanya. Kayak bocah sd ya ada tidur siangnya. Tapi bocah sd sekarang kayaknya gak tidur siang. Kalo gak les, pendalaman materi, eskul, ya bikin vlog atau tutorial makeup atau joget tiktok. Gapapa sekarang bisa menghasilkan dari jalur manapun yang kau tempuh dek. Lagi suka dengerin instrumental piano sama lagu lagu korea setelah sempat gumoh beberapa bulan yang lalu yha. Kangen bts ampun. Sekalian nostalgia pas penampilan mb 9 tahun lalu. Bangga aja gitu pernah ada di momen itu. Rasanya mood hari ini oke oke aja ternyata nggak juga ya.

seb-boo

Lee: "Not bad for a #2 guest!" Mark: "Not bad, not bad, he's alright for an old dog!" Seb: "Exactly, I'm getting there!"

Adulting

Make a decision. Be responsible over the decision. I think that's one of adulting activity. These days I feel so emotional about things. Crying over sad movie scenes, during video call with my parents, being silence to my partner. Last night I feel annoyed with my partner that I have enough time with him. Now, I'm pretty lazy doing house chores even though I will have an online interview in about 1 hour. I choose to eating indomie, drinking indocafe and being lazy at bed and seeing pictures/ videos memorizing life before I have a relationship.

I mean that's what I wanted though this whole time, being tired of people asking you to getting new people. Dating. Having relationship. Being normal maybe? Is it not normal to never dating in 26sh? duh.

Currently, I just do what I want: which is being lazy and questioning about this and that. What if I get married and still could work and live at jkt? But what if I'm not move to bdg and I wouldn't able to cook at all? I'm at state that I feel ...deterioration (yeah I google it, the antonym of improvement). I dont have a job now and any regular meaningful activity. I mean being productive. After these 3 months, I still couldn't get a job or know what I want to do to be productive, I can't still decide which bootcamp or lesson I would like to do. Now, I'm being lazy to scrolling and scrolling the linkedin and etc to apply for a job. I just at state that enough with those job rejections. I know I'm not a quitter (?), I do not give up easily for things, job, family, partner, concerts, hehe. Maybe I just envy with my female friends that still could being productive once they get married, still able to do their routine before married.

Well, its not that I can't do it. Just adaption here and there. Yeah its not easy to let that 4,5 years of worklife and 28 years routine living in the j-town. Its just being familiar with the surroundings might be easier to adapt this marriage life for starter. At that time, I just couldn't imagine if my partner don't have a job, during that phase it is pretty difficult for him, and me. Back then, we were in the middle of planning a wedding event, starting to plan our marriage life. So I said yes, and thinking that I could get a new job anyway, deep down I know it will not be an easy one since I never get one in 4,5 years work at the previous company. I was thinking but maybe because I'm still working, but here I am a 3-months-jobless. It just I know its dificult to do those farewell things and have to introduce yourself again and again to people. Maybe I'm just too comfy being status quo? or maybe I'm just as my parents generation, work in one place and be loyal to the same people at work. But I know that I annoyed and dont want to make a coffee at the office and ask to get meds for your supervisor and other stuff as being made to run errands and you still has to do calm customer over their claim request for thousand dollars which actually the accumulation of unclear contract or agreement with the previous team/person, like Im the one to clear it up impeccably.

Here, I'm still trying. Trying be happy, manage this and that. But, I feel like I don't seem happy enough from my partner and mom povs.

I think I'm just being not enough grateful for what I have now.

My 2025 pov

"Catchy quote on the process"

January

Got promoted at work after 4 years when one of your mate at work getting layoff. But thats life though. Preparing engagement event.

February

Bought the ring at blok m on his birthday. Went to Solo with my dad only two of us by train. Well meet up with the rest of family later at Solo. Got the batik cloth for the engagement at PGS but decide to wear the cloth which we bought at Blok m for the event. Got third SP for being late, angry to the hr guy and finally pour my emotion at office toilet (for 1234567x). Got engaged. Boy got himself in a Reality Club project but also been layoff. Duar.

March

Decision. Decision. Decision. Wedding plan part 1. Visit this and that venues. Only two though. Hehe.

April

Deal with wedding organizer. July is the month.

May

Got our Pre-wedding photos shooting/uni yearbook photos at that beloved uni. Move to bdg announcement.

June

Wedding preparation part 123456789. Had a before-married trip with my parents to Solo and Klaten. Wearing dress on my birthday. Riding bike with dress is no problem. Ace hardware window shopping. Moving in preparation kinda vibes is started. Entering our adult couple era.

July

Resign. Piss off with the wo for 1234567 times. Getting married. Move out Jkt. Move in Bdg. Adaptation. Understanding. Embracing. Got control those emotions. Cooking. Baking. Cleaning. Paying. Wife-ing. Rebahan.

August

Bdg city tour. Try this and that foods, places. Went to Jkt and see the lovely bedroom which witness my nano nano emotions. Got to ride whoosh yes yes yes for the very first time with swami. Swami :)

September

Went to jkt two times. Ride krl and mrt again. No transjkt ride yet but plan to soon.

Berdaya

Menjalani kehidupan menikah jadi banyak hal yang gue sadari dan sudah pasti banyak hal baru yang dirasakan. Ternyata memang tidak kerja setelah menikah tidak semudah itu menjalaninya, merasa tidak berdaya. Merasa apa gue masih diberi kesempatan untuk kerja? Apakah gue memang hanya mampu menjadi karyawan? Banyak pertanyaan pertanyaan muncul yang penuh keraguan. Berusaha untuk menghadapi situasi yang ada, bertanggung jawab atas pilihan yang sudah diputuskan, dan mencari solusinya.

Perasaan terkait dengan keraguan keraguan masa lalu jadi muncul. Keraguan atas kemampuan diri, membanding bandingkan nasib dengan yang lainnya. Padahal rejeki, jalan hidup sudah diatur oleh pencipta kita. Suka lupa memang kadang.

Tapi ya namanya juga manusia, butuh dipenuhi daftar pencapaian dirinya. Mau fokus cari kerja jadi lebih sering scroll LinkedIn daripada Instagram. Tetap saja jadinya iri. Iri akan pencapaian orang dalam urusan karir tentunya. Saat mengetahui seseorang bisa menghasilkan 25 juta dibawah 25 tahun sebagai jobless rasanya mantep. Bahkan sebelum jobless, hanya bisa menghasilkan seperempat dari itu. Jadi terpecut saja, kalo gue juga harus bisa tetep berdaya.

Perasaan itu memang selalu ada. Meragukan diri. Dari kecil gue memang merasa tidak ada yang spesial dari diri ini. Tidak bisa apa apa. Pendiam. Pemalu. Tidak seru. Nangis mulu. Kadang nangis di kamar tapi mulai dewasa mulai bisa nangis spontan lol.

Jadi, sepertinya baik untuk memasukkan rencana berdaya kita dalam bagian rencana hidup kita selanjutnya, apalagi jikalau ada seseorang yang ingin ada di hidup kita kedepannya.

Ya jogging atau sepedaan adalah koentji. #Kaburajadulu versi gue yang lebih terjangkau. Kabur memikiran semua overthinking yang harusnya dipikirkan jalan keluarnya bukannya ketakutan, keraguan yang itu itu lagi. Dan pelukan swami tentunya HAHAHAH.

41 days (so far) not worrying getting SP

In a stable day of this week, so I decide its a good day to just write. This morning I manage to prepare little pancakes from the leftover dough for breakfast, finally I prepare something different other than toasting bread duh. Then, I also manage to taking shower earlier and do cleaning chores, well I mean usually I already left house at 05.30 AM but now its my current waking up time, I just feel proud for doing that for 4,5 years :")

Last week, i went to Jkt , even it just meeting my family as I planned I'm happy. I hope we all can gather during my mom birthday Aamiin. The trip was great but again another overthinking issue brought me thinking this and that. It is about career. I never imagine that I will overthinking being jobless, I was planning to still work once Im getting married. Meaning that getting married was another step after having a job. Well, i think my whole life for last few years is working beside being with my family, meeting some mates and concerts hehe. Hobbies? yes I do have hobbies, reading, watching movies. I finally could tick some of my book list and movie list.

It just make me overthinking why I haven't work hard during at the uni and afterwards. I mean with my age now I should be at supervisor level and earn great amount, Its not that Im being not grateful for what I have now. I just struck by someone could earn 25ish million even before 25. Which is a pretty different situation with me who just receive a job offer with 3 million fee exclude bonus, well yes the fee is the problem but moreover the responsibility to selling intangible products instead of tangible make me pretty hard to accept this offer.

Though I learn that I also have a potential when it come to cooking/baking. I just annoyed that how can my previous workplace couldn't allow a wfh/wfa in this economy and in this digital tech savy era -_-

Again, be grateful though. If not getting married and move out Jkt maybe i will still caught up with the situation like I should ride a bike getting some meds for my supervisor in 30 minutes left to back home time and maybe Im still struggle to not getting SP every monday to friday morning for one minute late reasons while other could get a job there and even a salary raise by cheating. welcome to indo lyfe. no. maybe just life is lyfe.

Hai aku Ita, Istrimu dari masa depan.

To Made in your 25ish, or before you meet me or before your intention for a marriage.

It might sound cheesy, well, it is. But, I think this notes just a reflection for myself that only able to writing instead of talking to pour my feelings toward you and everything it goes.

Forgive myself for not able to be a wife/partner/roomate/housemate as a whole. I'm sorry for so many things I'm not able to do.

For just being at home and still couldn't cook properly even it just make a banana juice, and yet you still wanted to become my personal food tester. Many times I wanted to give up on cooking and leave it to our belove rumah makan near here named sinar which can supply proper food, but you keep encourage me and still I feel not enough and not improve.

For just being at home and damage several things, it's like we've got house issues every week. I'm sorry for that too, I never move house well only one time when i was in junior high school and the responsible just helping moving things so its way than what I face now.

For never have a proper romance relationship. So it might affect what I've been done to you these whole time. Silence. Lack of carress. Just couldn't act like a proper romantic partner. I think this whole time I just trying and act like 'i can do this adult life' ,but the fact that sometime I feel that I couldn't manage this adult life. So many first time experience in the relationship chapter of my life. Which lead me too scare to do things that should be a wife responsible. Overthinking is that what I still learn to less to do.

When we reach our first month being a married couple, please be patient with me. You don't need to understand the situation, my situation. I just didn't get that day it should be an important one. That ig post is no longer matter for me, it feels like the wedding event euphoria is just gone, so to share it with others it just not a mandatory. Thank you for wanted doing that.

Its not a regret but just an apology hobby that I keep saying to you. It feels why I should do this? Why I have to face this life? Can I as a women to fulfill my responsibilty as a wife without feel pain and not making you feeling bad and end up being me who keep apologize and still can do the same thing.

I know you've been doing a lot for me, but it just so much to process for me these past two years. Got my first boyfriend, first holding hands and those cutesy kisses, being propose, wedding plan preparation, moving house preparation, resign, got married, move out jkt and move in bdg. Maybe I have a strawberry mental capacity, its not that strong as our parents. I realize that its not easy for me to receive critics since way before I met you, because it feel like this whole time i could deal with some situations but why people still tell me to do this and that, feels like i just keep doing wrong things and being unlucky. Though, It just me currently feeling 'tidak berdaya'. It just me in my chapter of enjoying not working and rebahan and overthinking sometimes :p

Happy firstmarrieagemonthverssary!

Thank you for choosing me. I hope you will not changing your mind.

xoxo, your forevah life partner

p.s sorry again and again the celebration was not fun at all.

Tersore sore di bdg

jujyur excited nonton sore awalnya karena bara ternyata ngisi ost dan tidak sabar ingin mendengar tdw versi pianonya wagelaseh jadi band viral :p ditambah baca sinopsisnya tentang suami istri marilah kita ajak swami ecie untuk nonton film ini kali aja ada pelajaran yang bisa kita petik (?) atau tips & trik yang bisa kita praktikkan di kehidupan berumah tangga inih, ternyata ada bonus buat swami dimana film ini sebagai tontonan pesan masyarakat katanya agar tidak memperbanyak hobi untuk asap asap yang itutuh.

Notable momennya buat aku itu pas sore bilang kalo jo tuh pacar pertamanya dia kek relate ya hihi, terus rada kray pas sore fitting jasnya jo buat nikahannya sama elsa kek masih dalam momen abis nikah jadi lumayan sensi yah,ada momen epicnya juga pas sore udah kesekian kali bangun ada bapak bapak di studio sampe nyebut astagfirullah saking udah gumoh liat sore bangun tidur mulu lol sama pas adegan jo jogging terus nyamperin ibunya yang lagi jalan langsung otomatis pandang pandangan sama swami kek tau nih lokasi shootingnya terus tapi mata jadi lumayan ngembeng walau udah mellow duluan pas adegan jo balik ke jkt :")

#sore #film

Growing up as almost 28 year old women

Big decisions coming at the fastest speed just like Max Verstappen overtake Oscar Piastri at Imola last week. Only in seconds. Got a jumpscare kinda feel like. No wrong move can be tolerate. Exciting but can make you crying.

Here I am sitting on my chair at the office facing the screen typing for Tumblr post instead of working to banish my sleepy eyes. and a stomache now hit me again. duh. Its another 30 days to go reaching that 28 number.

Engaging. Incoming. Fricking. Marrying.

After 26 years, I have a partner. After 27 years onto 28, I got married soon. Almost 28 years, I live with my parents and brother in a city that never sleep Indonesia version they said. I have to go to west part of Java now, living with my partner not only at different place but also different city with my family.

Being wife. Being jobless. Being far away from people that you used to live and around with. How can i overcome all of these friging not cute matters? Kunto Aji said ''yang kau takutkan takkan terjadi" keep remind me and that Yoongi future gonna be okay was my anthem back when I still keep wondering can I get a better workplace and whos going to be my partner, will i get one?. Then, the song loop again being my anthem to comfort me everything will be fine. dont worry be happy :")

pastry-strolley

mclaren

Two icons 🤝

#McLaren #F1

Finding nrimo that im the lucky seven :")

You need to calm down.

Mengawali tahun dengan tantrum lagi tantrum lagi, Positif sekali kau. Sulit ternyata mengendalikan emosi terhadap pasangan. Cie. Menjadi single selama 26 tahun tidak sesulit ini rasanya. Mungkin karena sudah tahu cara mengendalikan emosi akan diri sendiri. Sering nolak orang mungkin ya, jadinya rasanya kalo ditolak sama yang disayang jadi amburadul. HAHAH.

Hepinya berlipat ketika bertemu, tapi kalo sedang tidak memungkinkan sebelnya juga berlipat. Soalnya sudah tidak single lagi (?) Kangen juga fangirlingan. Hidup hanya penuh dengan motogp, F1, manchester united dan bts dan cowok cowok kewl lainnya. Banyak pilihannya. Tapi ya cinta satu arah sih. Mungkin ekspetasinya ya hanya sebatas dinotice bukan disayang YHA. apateu.

Sekarang libur dikit maunya dateu, weekend ekspetasinya ya dateu. Dulu cukup nungguin jadwal balapan atau match MU. Ya kalo sudah ketemu juga hepi. Dahlah cukup liatin whatsappnya, dengerin karate kidnya Coldplay saja sampai gumoh.

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