Scattered Thoughts

Stream of Consciousness

[wibblemu9]

Appreciation

Once again I return to tumblr with my random musings. This has become my spot of self expression where I feel I can put my feelings out there without feeling idenfied by those who usually know what's going. We broke up last night and the dawn has never been so dim. While walking in the right direction we sometimes encounter hills and valleys too.

[wibblemu9]

Love

Christmas is a time that's notorious for and affection. I feel that the emphasis on love can have the effect of estranging alot of individuals from enjoying the movie to its fullest potential .

[wibblemu9]

Existing

I remember hearing this quote a long time ago, I can't even remember where, "are you living your life? Or do you just exist". For a long time I think I was living my life, but something changed this year and I think I started only existing. I'm not going to exonerate myself of blame, I'm going to embrace it. Tonight I think I make a covenant with myself. I will begin living my life again, I will stop just merely existing.

[wibblemu9]

Entitlement

Going through life, failures and messups are inevitable. Sometimes they're our fault, and sometimes we're only partly to blame. I've been wondering whether or we have the right to self pity, or the right to feel sorry for ourselves. Especially in scenarios where it was our fault and the outcome of the situation is directly linked to our inability to act, or action that was self detrimental in nature. I think it's similar to wallowing in one's own filth. I could just be being difficult on myself for my short comings. I'm only human.

[wibblemu9]

Bumblebees and spirals

When I think of bee's flying, I never imagine it as level flight. I think of spirals and turns and changes in altitudes and falling and rising. I think the emotions we feel sometimes follow the path of the bumblebee. It rises, it falls, sometimes it turns, and sometimes it spirals downward. All this while maintaining a path to the target. Fly towards your target matter how weird the path might look.

[wibblemu9]

Coming to terms

There's a certain serrealism attached to putting emotions and feelings into words. In ways it makes them real or gives them credibility and life. Finally talking about an issue can make it real and not just a thought that pervades your consciousness from time to time. I've been having this experience lately as a result of keeping alot of thoughts inside my head. When I finally vocalized them, it makes the situation actually feel real, like it's breathing and spreading its wings. It either comes as an act of finality or as an act of acceptance of what has happened.

[wibblemu9]

Memories

We're always told and taught not to waste our opportunities and chances in life. While that advice may be coming from a good place, I think it's often misguided. I say misguided because alot of the time we have no idea that we're actually squandering our lot until way later or sometimes not at all. Which people we could have had deeper connections and relationships with. What projects we should have worked harder on... While th advice is noble, I think that it often times works better in hindsight than in the present moment.

[wibblemu9]

Definition

Choice is a distraction from satisfaction. In our modern discourse we like to frame the abundance of choice as something beautiful and to be aspired too. I disagree, our brain has a simple reward system, you complete a task and you get rewarded. This naturally plays into us being more satisfied going deeper into a specific task. The more goals we clear, the more real the happiness is. This is why long term relationships and investment bring out bigger emotions than flings.

[wibblemu9]

Trust

The intangibles are usually the most important things. You could be the most handsome, intelligent, extroverted, but if you don't have that 'je ne sais quoi" what does it matter. If you don't have trust, integrity and compassion, you will never form meaningful relationships. When that's taken away all we have is a husk of what a connection is suppose to be.

[wibblemu9]

Confirmation

We're always told that money can't buy happiness and I've always taken that as a truth. The older that I get, the more evident that statement becomes for me. The things that really make you happy don't have a cost, they're invaluable, and that's your peace of mind, friends and family. I hold this truth to be self evident, that all men cannot be happy without human compassion. I miss my friends man...

[wibblemu9]

Three days in a row

I believe this post will be rediculously shorter than the previous 2. Partly because I don't have anything in particular that's on my mind to be written, and partly because what's on my mind is really pedantic. Aside from the usual thoughts on how the school system does little to address the actual needs of students #studentproblems, I thought about becoming part of the Rastafarian movement today because of my disconnect with Christianity. The easiest way to phrase this is that Christianity as a whole doesn't work for me anymore. Can you have faith in something that you believe to be untrue? Should I activity lie to myself as to please the Eurocentric Christian culture that I was raised in? Or do I go for a spiritual route that actually works for me? I'm guessing you already know what my answer is. Whether Rastafarian is the answer for me is yet to be seen. I'll just be here continuing on my spiritual journey if that's what I'm going to call it. This ended up longer than I thought...

[wibblemu9]

Intelligence and grades

I think it's easy to draw a correlation between good grades and ones level of intelligence. I believe that is a mistake however, I believe there are more important factors in determining how good or bad someone's grades. I don't mean this in the cliche way that individuals using laziness as an excuse to hide their "latent intelligence", but I want to focus more on ideology, and socialization. I think concienciousness is the most significant factor into whether a student performs at their potential or not. Concienciousness is not something that you're born with, but an attribute that like many other things in life can fluctuate throughout the course of your life and even over weeks and different task. If we care about what we're doing and care about the product that will be the outcome of our work, I think it more likely that individuals will work hard. Concienciousness also makes it so that we don't always work hard on goals that give us instant gratification and see the bigger picture at the end of the day. I gotta work on improving this myself.

[wibblemu9]

Re :Fuck commenter entitlement

Decided that I'm going to start using tumblr to just air out my random thoughts on topics. I watched a video called "fuck commentator entitlement" in which digibro discussed how weird it is that comments are now attached to the content that we consume. His example of how weird it would be for the last couple pages of a book you read to be th comments of other people who read it. I agree that with conventional media it is indeed weird for the feedback to be immediate and almost a part of the package of the content. However, I think that with the emergence of internet culture, the critique and comment of a piece of media is as much a part of the experience as the content itself. Well known memes such as "I'm just here to read the comments" can only be possible if the media and the critique are consumed simultaneously. I would also argue than in many cases the comments affect and give a new dynamic to the media that is being consumed. While this may not always be for the best I believe it is a viable way to consume media as any other form. I don't even care if no one reads this.