── 𓍯𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗥 𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗘 LEE (Korean; 블레어 로즈 리; born August 1st, 1997) known mononymously as Blair or BLAIR is an American singer-songwriter of Korean and Chinese-American descent singer, rapper, actress, model, songwriter, Global ambassador, and dancer who was born in Los Angeles, California, United States but is currently based in Seoul, South Korea. She is a member of the girl group TWICE under JYP Entertainment, in 2015 as a winning contestant of the reality survival television show SIXTEEN. Apart from her group's activities, She has also starred in various Chinese television series and movies. She is recognized as one of the highest-paid Chinese actresses, commanding massive fees often exceeding 100 million yuan for major projects, solidifying her status as a "box office queen" and "Triple Best Actress" winner.
keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer; but they didn't teach you what to do with your ex-boyfriend at your best friend's wedding.
⋆˚࿔ pairings ex-boyfriend!jungkook x f!reader.
⋆˚࿔ tags + warnings: age difference (reader with twenty-three years old + jungkook with twenty-eight years old), quick explanation of your breakup, Namjoon's wedding with your best friend, plot development, slight jungkook obsessed, crack, kind of cliché script, pet names, porn with plot, adult content. — wc; 8.0 K.
22 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING.
The universe used to deceive, toy with — or any similar synonym for the previously mentioned words — people; in books, it was seen and welcomed as part of development, character growth, and no one could predict whether it was something good or bad, you simply had to finish reading. — It was inviting, provoking a desire to discover the ending.
In real life — specifically, in your reality — fate could change moods in the blink of an eye, like a grumpy teacher who suddenly becomes the kindest person alive; then, just as quickly, their true “face” returns, and there stood the same old green grouch. — Fate enjoyed playing tricks, putting on little spectacles for you; shows that genuinely caught you by surprise.
It was like any old black-and-white French film, ancient yet somehow rated four and a half stars; not to mention the critical reviews endlessly referenced by the audience. — Good things happened, but without you even noticing, a massive storm was beginning to form, and there was neither an umbrella nor an open store nearby to shelter in.
Alright, maybe — a miserable and terribly suspicious maybe — you could be exaggerating; adding an unnecessary dramatization, something considered “intriguing” for a reader. It was ridiculous, strange to think about, but you refused to blame yourself for it; on the contrary, the blame belonged to the alcohol from the drinks you had tasted.
No, the blame was Chisa’s; she had invited you, along with Juria, to sample the drinks she requested for the after-wedding party. — There were countless beverages, including your favorites, which you practically begged them to serve; you weren’t drunk, but the familiar dizziness brought on by alcohol refused to leave you alone. The bride was getting her bridesmaids tipsy before the wedding — what a catastrophe!
“If the marriage depends on this one…” — Your voice was low, unable to hide the exaggerated amusement caused by the alcoholic drinks you had consumed earlier. You were referring to the newest cocktail on the menu. — “I regret to inform you, but you two are getting divorced in six months.”
Juria nearly spat out her drink; Chisa opened her mouth in theatrical shock but quickly burst into laughter, lightly shoving your arm as she joined in on the joke.
“Shut up! Namjoon spent half an hour choosing that flavor.”
Again, you weren’t drunk; stepping away from the warm little bar — somewhat minimalist, considering it wasn’t the actual wedding bar space; it was painfully obvious it had been put together at the last minute. Typical Chisa idea. — without stumbling, though dangerously close to wandering somewhere you weren’t supposed to be or allowed to enter.
No one would want to have their sleep interrupted — or anything else, really, you never know — by a stranger at this hour. Actually, what time was it? — In any case, you would hate to act like Hoseok at Jin’s wedding; according to your friends’ retellings, he had tried to break down one of the apartment doors in his building because he thought the lock was broken.
Yeah, you definitely did not want to reach that point.
Silently thanking yourself for not choosing tight shoes for a simple outing with your friends, you followed the path back to your room. The hallway of the hotel chosen and reserved by the couple for their guests to stay in — you couldn’t deny that it resembled a small, dazzling private village; surrounding the resort were countless places and attractions worth visiting. — was empty, wrapped in a silence that was hardly bothersome; it was comforting, leaving only the sound of your footsteps echoing softly.
Despite the noises made by the wedding planners and organizing staff somewhere in the distance — far enough that no one could complain or protest against the sound — occasionally drifting through the halls, nothing bothered you.
From all indications, you were about to have one of the best nights of sleep in your life; well, at least that was what you hoped, mentally crossing your fingers that anxiety and slight desperation over the wedding would not keep you awake all night. — Placing your bridesmaid dress beside you on the bed, wondering whether there was any possibility you might catch the bouquet and what exactly you would do if you did, whether Taehyung would truly go through with the speech he kept promising to make.
Would you even be a good bridesmaid? It was your first time. What if your dress suddenly didn’t fit you anymore?
Be honest, especially with yourself; none of the things mentioned truly disturbed you — aside from the speech your friend claimed he would deliver at Namjoon’s wedding, specifically — none of it could genuinely irritate or destabilize you. They were trivial events, things that might worry you in a ridiculous way, but that could easily be solved after taking a deep breath. They were refutable concerns.
“He’s going to be Nam’s best man. Don’t make that face, you’re adults.” — Chisa had warned you days, weeks earlier, almost casually, as though she hadn’t just dropped one of mankind’s greatest catastrophes into your lap.
There was no need to mention his name to know exactly who the bride was talking about; wow, wonderful.
Adults, sure. — Adults who had broken up two years and two months ago — specifically, two years and two months — and who, for some contradictory and painfully lingering reason, had never truly drifted apart or cut contact; it didn’t make sense, honestly, it was almost shameless. — You never blocked each other on social media, never deleted each other’s phone numbers; though that did not mean you texted or called one another.
Sometimes, in rare moments, you would receive a notification that he had liked a photo, viewed a story, or simply clicked on a music link you had shared with your followers; it would be foolish to claim you never returned the gesture. You liked his photos too, videos of Bam.
Small things, insignificant enough to satisfy the both of you, pretending they meant nothing. And maybe they truly meant nothing.
You had broken up — there was no betrayal, no screaming match, no catastrophic fight that left both of you wounded; the feeling of loss and distance had slowly built itself into the relationship, fueled by financial responsibilities and the executive position he inherited from his father in the family company located in another city. No one stopped it, no one asked the other to fight against it; a terrible mistake, and not one made by you. — yet the door between you remained slightly open; neither of you brave enough to fully open it, nor courageous enough to finally shut it.
“I spent months planning my wedding and, honestly? My greatest entertainment is still watching you two pretend it’s completely over.”
Jesus Christ, what monumental stupidity.
“Shit, did i lose…?” — you muttered, feeling suffocated while searching through your small purse for the card. The tiny object — the key to entering your room — was probably right beneath your nose, yet somehow impossible to find. — “Don’t tell me i’ll have to…” — “sleep with Juria,” You would have finished saying had you not finally spotted the card tucked between your wallet.
A sweet sense of peace awaited you; grabbing your phone, you noticed several message notifications from the girls, along with someone requesting to follow you. You could worry about that later. — The clock read 9:25 P.M; honestly, you thought it was much later.
Before sliding the access card into the door, you heard another door close, the sound echoing through the hallway. Naturally, you were not going to check or look at whoever had stepped out of their room, but there was a strange urge compelling you to see who it was; another regret to add to your list.
Lifting your heavy, sleepy eyes, your shoulders stiffened, frozen in place. Under different circumstances, you might have dropped your purse onto the floor or simply opened your door and thrown yourself inside the room in the purest act of desperation.
Jungkook was there, only a few feet away from you.
He was leaving the room almost right beside yours, with only two rooms separating them — like some cruel and malicious joke played by fate itself; you wished you could feel surprised, or at least fake the shock, but you had grown accustomed to fate’s particular behavior toward you. — Well, it wasn’t as though you hadn’t been warned.
His hand still rested on the doorknob, as if he had forgotten what he was about to do, where he was going, or whether he had left something behind in the room but felt too embarrassed to go back for it; classic Jungkook behavior, from what you remembered.
He was wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, exposing his tattooed arm; the first few buttons were undone, and his hair sat in a soft, slightly messy style. — It was a new haircut; the last time Jungkook had posted a picture of himself, his hair had been a little longer. It was a simple image, ordinary, nothing overly elegant, yet enough to make your stomach twist; that familiar tightness forming like a knot inside you. Funny — and painfully vulnerable — how your body could remember the damn man before your mind even had the chance to react.
No, the alcohol was to blame.
Jungkook’s lips, along with the piercing — he had removed the labret, you noticed while shamelessly staring at him — curled into a small, inviting smile; he looked like someone who had never hurt a miserable fly in his entire life.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding.”
“I wasn’t hiding.” — Your response came out too quickly, sharper than necessary against his low, amused tone, clearly attempting to break the tension; it was desperation, nervousness, and irritation at having to explain yourself to your ex-boyfriend. Because it was true, you were not hiding; merely avoiding running into Jungkook anywhere in this hotel.
You hadn’t seen him since arriving, despite knowing he would obviously be attending the wedding. It wasn’t your fault that you had spent practically the entire day avoiding common areas where the two of you might cross paths, occupying yourself with every microscopic detail of the wedding planning or anything your best friend might need. — You were pretending Jungkook didn’t exist, that he was merely a character inserted to “fill a gap” in the story.
But apparently, that strategy had not worked very well.
“Seriously?” — he asked, arching an eyebrow. That gesture was ridiculously irritating and familiar. Back when you were together, it had been even worse; whenever he frowned, his lips would form a pout and the labret only enhanced the offended, childish expression. — “All this time since i got here, and i only manage to see you now?”
The keycard remained in your hand, and the idea of leaving him there without giving any explanation sounded incredibly tempting. Looking away — unfortunately — your eyes landed on the tattoos covering his arm; Jungkook had countless tattoos, and now that you noticed more carefully, some had been covered with new designs. There was barely any empty space left for more.
Running a hand through your hair, unable to suppress the annoyance and exhaustion growing beneath the tension between you and Jungkook, you finally turned toward him.
“Well, i’ve been busy.” — You tried to sound casual. Jungkook was still smiling at you, and after releasing the doorknob, he took a few small steps closer. God, you wanted to throw your purse directly at that pretty face. — “Just like you…?”
“Namjoon needed help with a few things.”
“Of course.” — You laughed humorlessly, shaking your head. — “You’re always helping everyone.” — The words came out more bitter than intended, completely by accident; both of you noticed immediately. Jungkook’s smile faded slightly, though it never fully disappeared.
Your name left his lips softly, as though it were something delicate, something meant to be handled with care; you would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed hearing him say your name like that. You swallowed hard, a knot threatening to form in your throat.
“Jungkook…” — He was leaning against the wall beside your door, close to you, arms crossed over his chest; his biceps were practically begging for your attention, and you were trapped in a dead end. — “I can tell when you’re trying to annoy me.”
“And i can tell it still works, doesn’t it?”
“Good night, Jungkook.” — It was your attempt to end the conversation, or whatever this thing between you could even be called; you assumed he would simply return the greeting and leave you alone. Of course, Jungkook only bit down on his lip to suppress a sly smile and failed miserably. — “My God, you haven’t changed at all.”
“You expected me to change?” — There was a clever sort of curiosity in Jungkook’s voice, as though he expected a convincing answer, perhaps something slightly egotistical; maybe he simply was not in the mood tonight.
“I expected you to mature.” — The hurt still lived inside your chest, endlessly circulating there, and you hated being unable to disguise it, to hide it away; the feeling only seemed to grow stronger, especially considering you had never completely cut contact with Jeon and now, at this very moment, had run directly into him. — “That’s all.”
“Because we break up?” — The bitterness hit you all over again; your jaw tightened, your body growing tense once more and… sad? Seriousness and composure had settled over Jungkook’s expression. — “How predictable.”
“Once again, good night, Jungkook.” — Sliding the card into the slot to unlock the door, your room finally opened before you, silently inviting you inside to rest for as long as necessary. You lifted your head toward the older, still leaning lazily against the wall, and gifted him a polite smile.
You made no effort to hide the fact that his words had hurt you; discomfort mixed with embarrassment in the stiffness of your posture. Right now — and preferably until the end of the wedding — you wanted no more conversations, no more teasing remarks from Jeon. It was enough.
“Good night.” — He said your name slowly while watching you step fully inside the room. You did not look back, which was probably for the best, and shut the door directly in Jungkook’s face; from the moment you entered your room, he no longer existed.
At least, that was what you tried to convince yourself was true.
taehyung (9:56 P.M.): guys
taehyung (9:56 P.M.): i lost the speech copy. i think i accidentally deleted it..
yoongi (9:59 P.M.): congratulations
9 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING.
“So…” — Juria scrolled through her phone, busy posting a picture of the beautifully arranged breakfast table; the hotel’s reception area was impeccably stunning. Wondering how much the couple had spent felt both inevitable and slightly rude. — “You texted me at two in the morning and then disappeared.” — She didn’t even look up at you, completely focused on her post. — “Like, ‘something happened’ and then nothing?”
“I ran into Jungkook in the hallway last night.” — You took a sip of your coffee while waiting for your friend’s reaction; Juria froze, lowering her phone and placing it beside her cup.
“What?” — Her eyes widened in shock. — “I knew this was going to happen!” — She declared with such confidence that it immediately made you roll your eyes.
“Before you ask anything, nothing happened.” — Juria raised an eyebrow, clearly refusing to believe a single word coming out of your mouth; she knew perfectly well that you and Jungkook did not simply “run into each other” and leave it at that.
“Nothing?” — She repeated suspiciously. — “Judging by your face, and by how well I know you, that’s a lie.” — You let out an annoyed sigh, crossing your arms. — “How long are you two going to keep doing this?”
“Juria, please…” — You pressed your fingers against the side of your head, already unable to tolerate your friend’s comments. — “He just… appeared out of nowhere! And he kept acting like nothing had happened between us, like it was casual, normal for us to meet in that hallway.”
Deep down, you knew it had been casual; in the end, it meant nothing.
“And here we go again.” — She muttered, bringing a glass of pineapple juice to her lips while slowly shaking her head as she listened to you. The group of friends you and Jungkook shared still found endless entertainment in this old story.
You would never bet against them; especially not when they probably believed something could happen between you and Jeon during this wedding. — To make matters worse, the bride herself was likely encouraging it.
“Sweetheart…” — Juria softly said your name. — “Our best friend’s wedding is in less than ten hours. Forget about him, at least until the party’s over.” — The woman rested her hand gently over yours. — “I hate seeing you make that face instead of enjoying a place like this.”
Juria shrugged; she knew she was right and hated the emotional mess that man had left inside you. But she also knew there was still a small spark burning in your chest whenever it came to Jungkook. She knew you better than anyone — knew how much his presence could both disturb you and feel painfully absent at the same time.
“You have every right to still be upset, he hurt you.” — she continued. — “But the two of you still keep contact in every possible way. That’s basically like leaving the wound open and pouring alcohol on it.”
You stayed quiet; you hated when Juria’s lectures actually made sense and left you feeling embarrassed. — Sighing, you lifted your eyes to meet her face and offered a soft smile, silently signaling that you understood the message she was trying to give you; suddenly, Juria’s eyes widened.
“Don’t look behind you.”
“What?” — you asked, frowning in confusion at your friend’s reaction.
“Jungkook’s coming this way right now.” — The second you heard his name, you shot up from your chair and let go of Juria’s hand; reacting in pure panic, like a child caught doing something wrong. A second later, Juria burst into laughter. — “Oh my God, you actually fell for that?”
“Fuck you, Juria.”
2 HOURS AND 39 MINUTES AFTER THE WEDDING.
Two hours and nearly forty minutes after the ceremony — which, without any exaggeration on your part, had been magnificent and deeply emotional; a heavy warmth filled your chest while watching one of your best friends get married. It had been impossible to hold back tears and, for the first time, you genuinely did not care whether your makeup got ruined. — Chisa and Namjoon’s wedding had evolved from an elegant and highly praised event into a gathering of dangerously excited friends with unlimited access to alcohol and music.
The ballroom was euphoric, chaotic in the best way possible. The decorations remained impeccable, of course, flowers covering every corner while songs played one after another; the guests danced and celebrated as if nobody in that room had responsibilities or a life waiting for them the next day. — And honestly, everyone was right to do so. It was a moment worth celebrating.
Actually, making a mental note to yourself, you needed to congratulate Namjoon on the DJ choice; there was truly nothing to complain about when it came to the flawless summer electrohits playlist.
At the table closest to the bar and slightly near the dance floor, the situation had become amusing — something classic and painfully typical of “bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding.” The group of friends had gathered to gossip, judge, and relive everything that had happened during the ceremony and beyond; apparently, not everyone forgot certain moments so easily in this life. Maybe the newlyweds were somewhere wondering how much fun they could have been having with all of you instead.
Half the group was visibly drunk; the other half was pretending they weren’t.
Sitting between Yoongi and Jimin, you were holding what you believed to be your fourth drink of the evening; and frankly, it was incredibly rude to ask a woman how many drinks she had consumed. While listening — or at least attempting to — to Taehyung and Hoseok’s conversation, the topic centered around the damn speech Taehyung had lost from his phone notes and somehow managed to rewrite in less than twenty-four hours. — Which was honestly impressive.
“So that’s why you woke up so late?” — Juria asked, seated beside Hoseok while grabbing one of the little desserts a waiter had placed on the table. — “You spent the entire night rewriting it?”
“I swear i don’t even know how i deleted that shit.” — Taehyung covered his face with both hands. — “It was bizarre! One second i looked and it was there, then the next second, POOF…” — He gestured dramatically, mimicking a magic trick to demonstrate the disappearance of the text. — “gone.”
“Want to bet he probably archived the folder and just didn’t notice?” — Yoongi whispered in your ear; he seemed far more sober than everyone else sitting at the table. In response, you laughed softly and nodded in agreement.
The conversations changed every two minutes, always ending in loud laughter and childish threats. Clearly, no one was in any condition to continue a responsible topic; you felt a slight amount of pity for the other guests seated near your table.
“One of Namjoon’s aunts flirted with me.” — Jimin loosened his tie before taking a sip of whiskey; he said it as though it were the most ordinary thing that had happened all night. — “I swear on my life i saw her wink at me."
“Which one? The one in the green dress or the light blue one?” — Juria asked.
“The green dress.” — Hoseok, unable to contain his laughter, let out a loud, “That’s amazing.” — “It’s not! I’m thirty years old, and she’s like… sixty-two?” — he said uncertainly.
“Love has no age.” — Yoongi shrugged, finishing his drink.
“Shut up, Yoongi.”
Before Jimin could point accusingly at Yoongi, two familiar presences approached the table. Instead of the bride and groom, it was Jin and Jungkook returning; a few minutes earlier, they had gone in search of food — more specifically, more desserts. Judging by the plate Jin was carrying, they had successfully satisfied whatever cravings had possessed them. — The plate was filled with tiny sweets of different sizes, all of them irresistible.
Jin dragged over a chair from an empty nearby table and sat down at the end of yours; Taehyung did not even wait for his friend to settle before stealing one of the desserts from the plate.
“What did we miss?” — Jin asked.
“Jimin almost becoming part of Namjoon’s family.” — Yoongi summarized the entire situation, which immediately caused another wave of chaos at the table.
Shifting your attention elsewhere — and choosing to disguise any possible exchange of glances — your eyes drifted toward Jungkook. It was a fleeting moment, stealing glances at him from the corner of your eye. He remained standing, one hand tucked into his pocket while the other held a champagne glass, quietly observing everyone at the table with a polite, warm smile. — Enjoying the company of old friends he no longer saw very often; well, some of them.
Until his eyes landed on you for slightly longer than they should have.
Jungkook’s jaw tightened, his head subtly turning in your direction. You did not know how much longer you would be able to resist, whether eventually you would look back and allow your eyes to meet his; part of you wanted to.
It didn’t take long before Jungkook pulled over a chair, just like Jin had done, positioning himself at the table to join the mediocre yet affectionate “meeting.” — To make the situation even worse, your ex-boyfriend sat directly across from you.
“I believe it.” — Jin, already thoroughly entertained, continued the conversation while pointing at Jungkook. — “One of the aunts asked if Jungkook was single.” — At the mention of the situation, Jungkook tilted his head back dramatically, unwilling to relive the memory; everyone at the table — including you — burst into laughter at Jin’s story.
And automatically, Jungkook lifted his head again, straightening his posture toward you; as though hearing your laugh among all the others had awakened something inside him. — It always did, even after two years and a few months. — Pushing past the embarrassment, he smiled while watching you enjoy yourself; missing seeing you like this.
Jungkook missed you.
“Just wait until Namjoon finds out about this…” — you said between laughs, wiping at the corners of your eyes where tiny tears had almost formed. Taking a deep breath, you lightly smacked Jimin’s thigh with your hand. — “I’m going to get some air.” — you announced.
“Don’t tell me you’re running away?” — Jimin whispered into your ear, narrowing his eyes suspiciously; honestly, you were surprised Juria hadn’t been the one to say it first.
“I’d call it survival.” — You answered while standing up from your seat, carefully lifting your dress to avoid tripping; besides already feeling slightly affected by the alcohol, the last thing you wanted was to publicly embarrass yourself. Jimin mocked your voice in a higher pitch, and you responded by flipping him off.
Crossing through the ballroom, politely refusing a few waiters offering champagne along the way, the music slowly became more distant, just like the guests surrounding it. Your slightly clumsy steps guided you toward the hotel’s outdoor balcony; the cool breeze gently moved your hair while the sound of the party became muffled in the background. — You truly needed a brief escape; not because your friends’ company was unpleasant. — Only because one particular person did not belong on that list.
Resting your hands against the balcony railing, you took a deep breath to fully enjoy the atmosphere; flowers still dominated every corner, filling the space with color and life. It resembled a garden. It was beautiful.
“Still running away from me?”
Your eyes shut immediately — tightly enough that it almost hurt; you wished you had a glass in your hand just so you could down whatever was inside in one go. God, you could throw yourself off that balcony.
Of course he had followed you. — Turning around slowly, you found Jungkook standing there with his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, his tie gone; his hair was still perfectly styled, and his eyes were completely fixed on you. His tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek — a habit of his.
“You think you’re very important.” — You tried to challenge his ego, which only made him smile. Jungkook took three steps closer. — “Don’t you ever get tired of this?” — You threw him an ironic smile.
“And don’t you get tired of being angry at me after all this time?” — he shot back.
“Don’t tell me you want to talk about this on the day of our friends’ wedding.” — The sarcastic smile faded from your lips, your amusement disappearing completely.
“You act like i ruined your life.” — Frustration flickered across Jungkook’s face as he pulled his hands from his pockets to gesture properly. — “Is this really fucking necessary?” — Instead of that familiar spark that always drew people in, there was only confused sadness in his eyes now. — “Acting like i left because i wanted to.”
The words struck painfully against your chest; sadness overtook the happiness you had carried throughout the ceremony and party, if only for a moment. Maybe you had underestimated how much this would hurt; you always knew you would have to face Jungkook eventually, there was no escaping it — even though you had tried. — The wound from the breakup had never healed, not for you and not for Jungkook. — Years of longing, resentment, pride; an unbearable mixture buried inside both of you.
Jungkook did not dare look away from your face. He wanted to catch every movement, every tiny reaction, even the smallest twitch of a nerve; perhaps this would be the first and last time he cornered you with everything left unsaid between you. — If you no longer wanted to see him, if you wanted to finally put an end to this cruel hurt or cut your ties with him forever, this was the opportunity.
“I have every right to still be hurt, Jungkook.” — It was the only thing you managed to say to him; and he agreed, you were right. Step by step, your ex-boyfriend moved until he was only inches away from you. — “God, i became pathetic.” — Your words refused to come out the way you wanted; you stumbled over them, nervous with him standing so close.
“Fuck…” — His rough voice startled you. — “It was hell trying not to think about you all the time. Sitting through meeting after meeting, trying to keep that company from falling apart, I kept thinking about you.” — Your heart was racing violently now, the sensation unbearable; at that exact moment, chills spread through your body while your legs threatened to weaken beneath you.
You looked away; you could not handle it anymore. Jungkook, however, kept his dark eyes locked on you.
“I never moved on.” — Jungkook’s voice dropped lower after saying your name; rougher, heavier. He was closer now than he had been a minute ago, his cologne surrounding you completely.
The silence between you was miserable, unbearably heavy. You could hear Jungkook breathing, trying to steady himself, and beneath it you sensed anger mixing with something far worse — desire. You still wanted him. — Years of unresolved desire, suffocated and buried alive. — Fuck, you were remembering every single thing you had tried so hard to forget, everything you pretended you had already overcome.
“Jungkook…” — Everything happened too quickly. Jungkook held your face the same way he used to and kissed you with overwhelming hunger, a force he had been restraining ever since he saw you in that hallway. The two of you had been holding this back for far too long.
You should have pushed him away, you really should have. But instead, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him even closer. The feeling of his piercing brushing against your lips was painfully nostalgic; apparently, you had missed the labret after all. — There was no gentleness, no patience, no softness to it; the kiss carried anger, traces of resentment, and desperation. — You were pouring every buried feeling from the past years into it.
Jungkook’s hand slid down to your waist, gripping tightly enough to probably wrinkle the fabric of your dress; the hold was firm, daring. He pulled your body flush against his. — A sigh, dangerously close to a moan, escaped your lips mid-kiss, making Jungkook’s mouth curl into a sinful, devastating smile. — He kissed you again immediately, maintaining the same desperate rhythm, kissing you deeply, almost consuming you; biting your lower lip the same way he used to.
God, you had missed this so much. Missed him so much.
“Still mad at me?” — Jungkook rested his forehead against yours while trying to steady his breathing. That old smug tone of his; you could not decide whether or not you had missed it too.
“Shut up.” — He laughed softly. Jungkook’s other hand moved to your cheek, caressing it gently; his thumb brushed along your chin and lips. His dark, shining eyes looked at you with warmth now, relaxed in a way they had not been all night.
“You’re really going to ruin me.” — Whispering the words against your lips, Jungkook carefully removed your hands from the collar of his shirt, intertwining his fingers with yours instead; then he guided you away from the balcony and back inside the hotel — only toward somewhere else entirely.
And you knew exactly where Jungkook was taking the two of you.
3 HOURS AND 36 MINUTES AFTER THE WEDDING.
The walk to Jungkook’s room had been… peculiar, to say the least — aside from the fact that you had left your purse, along with your room keycard, back at the table with Juria — with the two of you clinging to each other, kissing against walls like reckless teenagers left unsupervised; whoever had been monitoring the security cameras had certainly been given quite a show. — It was horrifying to think about that fact for too long.
Surprisingly, Jungkook’s room keycard was already in his pocket, meaning there was nothing standing in the way of your privacy. — And everything about this felt urgent, desperate; completely beyond either of your control.
Across Jungkook’s room — especially scattered over the floor — lay discarded dress shoes and high heels alongside your beautiful, ridiculously expensive dress and the remaining pieces of Jungkook’s suit, not to mention your undergarments; the contrast was strangely fascinating to witness. — If his tie had been there too, it would have completed the picture perfectly. — Neither of you wanted to waste time; every second felt precious, even with the entire night stretching ahead of you.
After all, no one was going to notice your absence.
“I missed you so much, sweetheart.” — His words brushed against your skin, warm and intoxicating, followed by wet kisses and lingering pecks; Jungkook’s lips traveled across your collarbone, occasionally dragging his tongue over the sensitive skin. You squirmed slightly beneath him, tiny laughs escaping between your breaths from the ticklish sensation. — “Fuck, i missed you so damn much.” — Jungkook buried his face in your neck, inhaling the scent of your perfume; you could feel the cool metal of his piercing brushing your skin.
“Ggukie…” — He kissed and nipped at your neck while one of his hands slowly traced over your stomach before sliding upward toward your chest; Jungkook’s long, tattooed fingers brushed over one of your nipples, already sensitive beneath his touch. The slow movement of his thumb and forefinger drew soft, breathless sounds from your lips.
He remembered your weak spot. Jungkook recalled, for countless nights, the times you managed to orgasm just from him touching and rubbing your boobs; he lost count of how many times he masturbated, trying to relieve himself as much as possible, remembering this. — Unfortunately, he didn't want to admit that he knew the exact count; Jeon wasn't proud of the aforementioned feats.
He also wasn't proud of keeping an old piece of your lingerie for so long; well, he didn't steal it, actually, he doesn't remember how the black piece had appeared in your suitcase among your clothes when you were moving to Busan. — Jungkook really couldn't explain it but he never complained; and he didn't think it would be a good idea to inform you of what he had already done with it.
"How cute." — Surprising you, you felt your ex-boyfriend's teeth biting your neck with enough force that you scratched his chest in defense; it was just a little scratch for Jungkook. — "Still with that nickname." — He wasn't complaining. Removing himself from your neck, Jungkook's face was now face to face with yours; the older's dark eyes stared at your lips, then at your eyes. He was impeccable, almost irritatingly so. — That damned man could beg you for anything, and he'd receive it instantly; and vice versa.
Leaving a trail of kisses on your lips, Jungkook moved down to your breasts; specifically, to your left nipple. He didn't have the patience he wished he had, he didn't wait to bite your nipple, making no attempt to hide his hunger. His tongue snaked across the erect nipple, teasing it with desire and running his teeth over it, just to provoke you. — Your moans and whimpers stood out in the room and reached Jungkook's ears; you writhed on the bed, euphoric. Pleasure heated your boobs, almost making you explode. — Thinking of relieving the excitement, she tried to guide your hand towards your pussy, running it over your body and Jungkook's, but he interrupted you, grabbing your hand and holding it tightly.
"No, no…" — He said between wet smacks; Jungkook sucked and pulled your nipple with his mouth. — "Don't touch that pussy." — It was an order, his voice was authoritative and very hoarse, it seemed dry.
It seemed that, at the moment, Jungkook didn't have time for foreplay. — Even with his mouth on your boobs, he wanted to satisfy a hunger that had been consuming him for a long time; the obsession with your boobs never left him.
Releasing your hand, you positioned it on the nape of his neck; lightly running her nails over the area and sometimes down to Jeon's broad, robust back. — With a wet and loud "plop," Jungkook's mouth released your nipple, and there was a line of saliva connecting his mouth and your nipple; adjusting his posture, the older's hard penis pressed against your thigh. The wet, throbbing sensation made you salivate at the thought; it was lewd, immoral. — Jungkook noticed it too.
"Love, princess…" — He mumbled, as if lamenting or trying to apologize for something, nonsense. Jungkook frowned, starting a poorly formed pout on his lips. — "I promised i could eat you later, but i need…" — God, this man of hers was ridiculous. — "I need to be inside you."
Placing your hands around Jungkook's face, your fingers caressed the boy's cheeks and soon, joining your lips again for a long kiss: leaving a little kiss on the mole below Jungkook's lips, it was your favorite.
"I missed you too," — You murmured, actually whispered to Jungkook. For the first time that night, you confessed to him and didn't regret it, of course not.
Even with the poor lighting, only the bedside lamp was on, the gleam in Jungkook's dark eyes was more radiant than ever; funny how that was possible. The dynamic, its contrast, could change in the blink of an eye; it was completely admirable. — Running his hands down to your thighs, holding you more securely and firmly, Jungkook kissed you once more, more delicately but continuing with voluptuousness, desire; your tongue was caressed, sucked, and came into contact with the man's teeth, unintentionally.
Between your legs, your… ex-boyfriend encountered no obstacle to his accommodation; his large, heavy penis brushed against your thigh, and sometimes involuntarily made contact with your folds, which, even so, left you anxious. Jungkook noticed. — Opening your legs slightly, Jeon held his penis and positioned it at your pussy; in an up-and-down motion between your wet folds. He was stimulating you.
During the kiss, you bit Jungkook's lower lip as you felt him penetrate you all at once, accompanied by a cry of your name. — Damn it, it had been so long and your pussy had gotten used to that emptiness, and only he could fill it. — He only gave one thrust, but hadn't fully penetrated you: a few centimeters were still missing.
Damn, you were fucked; literally.
"Take a deep breath, my love." — Jungkook whispered through his teeth, sucking on the jewel in his mouth. It had been a long time, your pussy needed to get used to that familiar size. — You obey him, inhaling deeply, feeling Jeon's hips press even harder against you; more loud moans and whimpers echoed through the room. — "Relax." — He licked your lips, then licked the corner of your mouth, where a small trickle of saliva ran down.
"Jung…" — You moaned wildly. Jungkook kissed your chin, biting and growling as he pushed your hips away and thrust forward, pounding into you. The sensation was delicious, pleasure burned through her body and every neuron in your head.
"So good, damn it." — He groaned, squeezing your thighs and probably leaving finger marks on your skin. The wet noises, which had been timid before, began to crackle between your bodies. You were so full. — "Fuck, fuck."
The sounds, wet noises mixed with moans, growls — as well as the headboard against the wall — were deafeningly fucking, echoing through the room. His large, heavy penis stretched your again, the way you had dreamed, longed for, and missed so much; you felt the tip of his head hit the most sensitive and vulnerable spot inside you.
Jungkook's name, and several variations of barely spellable nicknames, repeatedly escaped your lips; only he was on your mind.
"I've spent nights dreaming about this, ugh, you know…?" — He said between moans, becoming more wild and abrupt. Jungkook was covered in sweat, his body trembling; your nails scratched his biceps, leaving a reddish trail across his skin. — "Are you listening, Jagiya?" — Then he called your name authoritatively, wanting an answer.
"Ggkie, yes…" — You repeated to please him; you licked Jungkook's lips, you was out of your mind. — "Oh, Ggkie… please, please." — You didn't even remember what you was begging him for.
Jungkook's teeth attacked your shoulder; his hips were out of control, penetrating you with such force and desire. Your velvety, warm walls tightened around his cock, and he would have loved to admire your pussy devouring him, but he wanted to savor the moment. — He could contemplate the sight later. — Jeon knew he was close, he knew you were too, he recognized your signals.
God, your body went into shock, your felt yourself trembling unbearably; there was no trace of consciousness in her mind, she didn't care about anything else around you. The only thing that mattered was Jungkook. — Your Jungkook. — You felt him all over your body; he was trapped inside you. Damn, experiencing the bulge, the size of Jungkook's cock again drove you crazy.
"I'm going to, fuck…" — He growled in her ear, his breathing was defiant, completely unbalanced; it felt so good. With each thrust, Jungkook growled, cried out her name. — "I'm going to cum inside you." — Followed by several curse words. The wave of ecstasy, that knot in your stomach, was closer than you thought; your nails scratched the boy's back, bringing unbearable pain but covered in pure excitement. — "Did you hear, love?"
The final impact, bringing a last thrust, made Jungkook fill you with his sperm; your walls, full of your pleasure, continued to warm his cock. The damned man moved his hips forward, almost merging with you, so that nothing would be wasted. — While your body remained in post-orgasm shock, the sensation was delicious, you could say; it had been a long time since the last time you managed to come so well. — Well, it wouldn't be necessary to say who the last time was with…?
You tried to recover, to regulate your breathing. — Jungkook was still inside you — Jeon moved away from your neck, after leaving a small bite on your sweaty skin, to look at you with his sleepy and delighted eyes; Even covered in sweat, with extremely messy hair and traces of drool, you remained impeccable to him. — And you were still smiling, shyly. My god, he was begging to deserve you again.
Jungkook loved you so much. He never stopped loving you.
"Gongjunim," — The old petname, the affectionate way of calling you, came out softly and carefully; Jeon swore he felt your pussy throb, tighten around his cock, but he tried to control himself. He chuckled nasally, touching noses. Neither of you regretted it, that was clear.
The comfort you always dreamed of having back in his arms; that affection, the feeling of home and love. Spending time pretending you hated him, that you wanted him out of your life; you admitted you were lying, regrettably, to survive all the pain.
⤷ going to a writing retreat with The Devil Lovers, your brother’s band, wasn’t actually in your plans, especially after the intense promo for your last book. but that retreat turns into a complete nightmare when your brother asks for your help and begs you to work with jungkook, the man who broke your heart years ago. what could go wrong? absolutely everything!
— pairing: rockstar!jungkook x writer!fem. reader
— genre: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, brother’s best friend, slow burn, rockstar au, band au, writer au, angst, fluff, and smut
— rating: 18+
— words: 25k
— warnings: strong language, mention of heartbreak, swearing, mention of crying, a lot of crying, some heavy tension, mention of cheating, mention of pregnancy (not oc), teasing, nervousness, a lot of kissing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, kind of rough sex, multiple positions, good old missionary, doggy style, biting, ass slapping, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, and mention of masturbation
— author’s note: sooooo after a lot of thinking and searching, i managed to make 1 post as it was intended for this one-shot 😁 sorry foor all the mess i caused 🥺 i'm already letting you know that i'm no expert in writing/producing songs so i created this in my own way 🙃 i've also tried to create songs by myself and might not be the best😅 but i hope you'll enjoy this 🤗 thanks a lot for your patience and let me know what you think of it once you've finished ❤️
— playlist: here is the link
— those are the lyrics used in the fic: Miss You by Perrie, Saved Your Tears by The Weeknd, Intro (end of the world) by Ariana Grande, Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams, Falling by Harry Styles, and Before You Break My Heart by Jade
MASTERLIST
ACT I: “the genesis of 'miss you’”
As you step inside the huge house located in the middle of nowhere, you’re even more convinced that you should have refused to come to this writing retreat. Resisting your brother when he’s using his biggest puppy eyes is impossible. Noah always knows how to convince you to do whatever he wants.
Your heart is beating at a frenetic rhythm, making it echo in your ears. There’s one person in this house you’re absolutely not looking forward to seeing. Jeon Jungkook. You hate him. And it isn’t an euphemism. He could choke in his sleep, and it wouldn’t affect you.
Jungkook, your worst nightmare, is the main vocalist of The Devil Lovers, the band your brother created with his college friends more than ten years ago. The band is composed of Noah, Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook.
All of them—except Jungkook, obviously—are absolute sweethearts. They treat you like their little sister, and you’ve been their number one supporter. It’s a shame your worst enemy is part of the band, but whatever. You can survive as long as you don’t have to interact with him, which you have managed to do for the past five years.
“The boys are all here already,” Noah tells you.
Even though you adore the boys, exhaustion has been kicking your ass after the intense book promo you went through for the past months, and a comfortable bed to sleep in is the only thing you want right now. For most of the three-hour drive with your brother, you’ve slept.
Before you can even say anything, six boys appear in front of you with the brightest smiles on their faces.
“I thought Noah was joking when he said you’d join us,” Hoseok says.
Jimin pulls you in a tight embrace, the strong smell of his cologne tickling your nostrils. Looking around, you notice Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. Good. The last thing you want is to see his face.
“The promo of her last book drained her,” Noah explains. “I figured she could use a break, so I brought her along.”
“You’re aware this isn’t a vacation, right?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow as he speaks.
“Not for us, but certainly, for her,” your brother replies. “It’s still a beautiful place—she can rest, wander around, do her own thing while we work.”
They are all talking like you’re not even there, which is a bit annoying. Tiredness never looked good on you; you get grumpy and hard to deal with.
“Why are you all talking like I’m not even here?” You place your hands on your hips, your eyes looking at every single one of them.
“I’m just explaining,” your brother says.
“Well, show me my room and let me recover all the sleep hours I’ve lost over the past three months.”
Promoting a book is anything but restful. Writing in English is all fun and that, but when you get to promote it and do signing sessions, it’s a bit of a hassle. In three months, you’ve travelled to several cities and countries. You’ve spent more time in hotel rooms than in your own house.
Nevertheless, you absolutely adored meeting and discussing with people who loved your books. They were all so adorable. Without them, you’d still be working at a restaurant, dealing with horrible customers. Thanks to them, you get to live from selling books.
However, now, you need a break. You’ve been writing, doing promo, interviews, and many other things for three years nonstop. No vacation has been taken in the middle. And the release of your brand new book, three months ago, has been a nightmare, most probably because you’ve accumulated too much fatigue.
Noah guides you to the last available room of the mansion, helping you with your baggage. As you reach the room and open the door, someone leaves the room right across from yours. Jungkook.
You totally ignore him, not even acknowledging his presence. Your brother remains silent, maybe too scared to say something he shouldn’t. He’s more than aware of the hatred between you and Jungkook, but he totally ignores the reason behind it, and it’s for the best. Let’s avoid having him kill his best friend.
Although it’s clear as day that it pains him that you two don’t get along, he hasn’t been pushing you to reconcile. He simply makes sure you never bump into each other, keeping you both at arm's length to avoid having his favorite vocalist and lyricist murdered.
However, once you’re inside the room, alone with your brother, he gives you the biggest side eye ever. “Try not to murder him while we’re here.”
“Can’t promise that,” you reply while throwing yourself in the massive bed.
Your eyes quickly scan the room. Right now, you’d say you’re quite happy that The Devil Lovers became super huge because without it, this writing retreat would be in a shitty place. This house is fancy as fuck.
“Please,” he begs.
“As long as he doesn’t speak to me or breathe near me for the next eight weeks, I won’t do anything.”
Noah simply nods before disappearing, leaving you alone in the room. You both know avoiding Jungkook for eight weeks is literally impossible, but you’ll for sure minimize your interactions with him as much as possible.
In a matter of seconds, you fall asleep in the most comfortable bed in the world.
Hours later, you’re woken up to a conversation happening near your room. “You'd better leave her alone,” you hear the voice of your brother on the other side of the door. “Don’t you two start bickering around, understood?”
Without any doubt, your brother is talking to Jungkook about you two. For sure, he’s trying to ensure that this two-month retreat goes well. He keeps repeating that they are under a lot of pressure to finish their upcoming album.
“As long as she behaves,” Jungkook’s deep voice echoes, “you don’t have to worry.”
You roll your eyes, absolutely annoyed. He’s talking like you’re some child or something like that, but between the two of you, he’s the child. When handed two options, he’s not freaking able to make a decision.
You storm out of the room with anger. “Please continue talking about me like I’m not even there.”
The two men stand in the middle of the hallway, bewildered. You don’t even look at them, only passing by in between them, and making them understand that you’re not a baby.
Honestly, you’re not sure you’ll survive this damn retreat, but you’ll try your best to be as little as possible around Jungkook. That’s the only way. Luckily, they’ll be working the entire time, and you’ll go around visiting the nearby villages and cities. You can do it—or at least, you’ll convince yourself of it.
The rest of the day goes by as normally as possible. You speak and laugh with the boys without giving any attention to Jungkook. Whenever he’d talk, you’d look somewhere else and wouldn’t interact. And somehow, everything went well.
However, everything is destroyed when you realize that he’s sleeping in the room right in front of yours. You don’t know who you should blame for this, but you take deep breaths when he’s stepping inside the room.
This is going to be an absolute nightmare. You know it and feel it inside your bones.
Heading home after visiting the city right next to the house was absolutely refreshing. First, sleeping for eight hours was definitely the best thing that happened to you in maybe over three years, and then just disconnecting from the world for a full day was invigorating.
For the first time in a while, you feel great and rested. In the end, this retreat isn’t that bad.
The first week flows quite fast. You barely notice the boys. They’re always working, leaving you alone most of the time. Your brother makes sure to eat with you at dinner, and sometimes, one of the boys joins you. The good side, as well, is that you don’t see Jungkook at all.
This is peace.
However, very quickly, you regret even thinking that, especially when you have your brother begging you in your bedroom. “We need you,” he insists.
“No,” you’re categorical.
“I wouldn’t be here begging if it wasn’t needed,” he replies, his hands running through his hair.
“Noah, I’m a writer, not a lyricist.” You stand up from your bed, pacing in the room. “I write novels, not breakup ballads.”
He stands up, trying to stop you from walking around, his hands resting on your shoulders. “I know it, but you still excel in writing.”
You roll your eyes, pushing your brother away. Writing songs with them will mean working with Jungkook. He’s the main lyricist of the band, and you absolutely refuse to spend a second around him. And also, let’s not forget that you’ve never written a damn song. You don’t even know how it works.
But you also took a break from writing. That’s why you’re here in the first place.
“I’m here to rest, disconnect from what has been draining my soul for the past years,” you turn your back to your brother.
“I know, sis,” he replies. “I’m very much aware of that, but Jungkook has been writing shit and is facing what I guess is a writer's block or some shit like that.”
“I don’t care,” you say with a shaky voice. “I’m not going to spend a second near him, so I’m absolutely not working with him. He can watch tutorials on YouTube.”
Noah takes a deep breath. This is hard for him as well because he never wanted to bother you while you rest, and especially, he didn’t want to push you to be around Jungkook. He knows it’ll go wrong, but somebody needs to help them.
“He won’t admit that he’s doing shit,” he adds.
“You’re eight in this fucking band, so one of you can help him,” you retort, grabbing something to play with to calm yourself down.
“You know how it works.”
You roll your eyes, knowing more than well how their band works. Each one of them was assigned a specific task, and that’s how the band has been thriving.
“We’ve tried to help him, but what we come up with is worse than what he did.”
Jungkook is a master in ballads and love songs, and even if you hate to admit it, he sings them absolutely well.
“This is not working,” he admits in defeat. “He also doesn’t want to work with you if it reassures in any way, but that’s what we came up with. You’re our last hope.”
“I’m not,” your eyes meet your brother’s. “You can hire someone else.”
Noah shakes his head. “It won’t be the same.”
“You’re being dramatic here.” You take a step in his direction.
“Just give it a try,” he begs, getting closer to you. “If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t, but please try.”
Your brother knows how to convince you to do whatever he wants or needs.
“Okay,” you admit in defeat. “I can try, but if he doesn’t work, you leave me alone.”
Noah simply nods with the brightest smile on his face. Obviously, you’re not going to do this for free. If you have to deal with Jungkook and understand how to write songs, you have to get something out of this. “But I have two conditions.”
His eyes narrow. “Two?”
“One, I get credited under my real name, not my writer’s name. I don’t want anyone to link this to my novels.”
Using a writing name was already a deliberate choice—a way to create a clear boundary between your personal life and your writing career. Helping them is personal, and linking the best-selling writer to The Devil Lovers doesn’t make any sense.
“Consider it done,” he replies.
“And two, when this is over, you’re paying me a trip to Paris.”
It’s no secret that you adore the French Capital. With your books, you’ve gotten to go there quite a handful of times. You’d go back there whenever the chance would present itself to you. This is one of them.
“You’ve dragged me into a rock band’s creative crisis, Noah,” you continue. “I deserve a croissant by the Seine at the very least.”
Noah should have seen it coming. You’ll have to deal with Jungkook, so at the very least, you get a reward for it.
He grins. “Deal.”
You didn’t think he’d accept straight away. The thought of dealing with Jungkook for the next seven weeks and working with him gives you nausea, but you’ll have to pass over it because you’re helping your brother. Not him.
The next day, Noah leads you to the ‘writing room’. They’ve assigned one empty room for Jungkook to work in—a place where he’d work his magic. Although you’re pretty sure the spell is broken. Your pulse drums in your ears, far from enchanted at the thought of being trapped here with him for hours.
When you step inside the room, he’s already there, sitting on a chair and visibly writing something on a desk—probably working on a song.
“Jk,” your brother calls for the man, “she’s here.”
The Devil Lovers’ lyricist doesn’t even bother to look around.
“I’ll leave you two alone. Try not to murder each other,” your brother adds.
That’s definitely something you can’t promise. If Jungkook gives you reasons to strangle him, you’ll do it without even blinking.
Noah leaves the room, and for the first time in five years, you find yourself alone with the man who broke your heart. Yeah, he did that, and that’s why you hate him with all your soul. How could a man kiss you, push you away, and date a new girl a week after? For sure, a cold-hearted one.
“As much as I don’t want to be here and talk to you,” you begin while biting your nails, a habit you have when you’re stressed, “you need to explain to me how this works.”
You can hear him take a deep breath before turning around to face you, finally. The distance between you is honestly a relief for you, but you know you won’t be able to keep it up for long. You can’t work while being far away. Inevitably, you’ll end up being closer.
“It’s quite simple,” he replies, leaning back on his chair and his hands falling on his lap. “You just write what crosses your mind, but you already know how to do that.”
You roll your eyes. “Songs and novels are different.”
“Not really,” his eyes are locked on yours. “It’s just presented differently.”
This has to be a joke. If this is what it will be like working with him, you’ll end up finding creative ways to suffocate him.
“You’re telling me that I can write whatever the fuck I want, and it’d be good?”
“Exactly.” His nonchalance freezes and annoys you completely.
“I’m not doing this.”
You turn around, heading to the door to leave the room. Jungkook isn’t helping at all. Songs and novels are polar opposites. Songs are short, filled with emotion. A novel tells a story, follows someone’s journey. It’s not the same.
“Look,” he begins, standing up, “I know you’ve never done this, and it’d take too much time to show you how it works. So, I thought it’d be easier if you write whatever crosses your mind and I’d adjust it to fit it in a song.”
You’re not sure you want to face him right now, but looking at the door seems way easier than looking at him.
“You’re insulting me and my capacities,” you clap back.
“I’m not,” he replies, and you can hear his voice getting closer. “I’m just making it easy for us.”
A forced laugh rumbles from your throat. Who is he making it this easy for? If he were able to fucking write a song, you wouldn’t be here, so this is not making it easy.
“For us?” you then ask. “Not sure we have the same notion of easy.”
“Yn,” his voice sounds like a whisper, “look at me.”
The way he whispers your name sends shivers down your spine. How dare he?
“No,” you reply.
Jungkook instantly gives up, not wanting to make this any worse.
“Sit down with me and let me show you.”
There’s a certain hesitation, but you take a deep breath before facing him again. You promised your brother you’d help, and you’re not a person to fail her promises, especially not with Noah.
You follow Jungkook to the desk, pushing the chair as far away as physically possible. You can’t help but notice he’s wearing a simple grey Nike t-shirt, displaying his full tattooed arms—a true weakness. Back then, when he only had a couple of tattoos, he was hot as well, but now…
“Focus, yn,” you tell yourself.
Jungkook walks you through how he builds a song—line by line, chord by chord. He talks about rhythm like it’s a heartbeat, about lyrics like they’re fragments of truth that have to fit inside a few breaths.
Honestly, the way he explains it almost makes it sound easy. Almost. But the more you listen, the more you realize how foreign it is to you. A song isn’t a story to tell—it’s a feeling you trap in three minutes. You need to find rhymes, cut words that don’t sing right, express the emotion more shortly, and say everything with almost nothing.
That’s where the challenge lies for you: you’re used to writing ten sentences to show one emotion. Here, you need to make someone feel it in just one line.
“And you were trying to convince me that I could just write whatever I want…” You tell him while placing a strand of hair behind your ear, irony filling your voice.
“I guess it’s the same,” he says. “The way you write—it could fit into a song.”
Are you dreaming, or is he implying that he read a book of yours? The thought seems impossible—why would he, of all people, pick up one of your novels? There’s no way that it’s a reality. You must be imagining things, because the idea of him turning the pages of your book is almost too surreal to believe.
“Maybe,” you reply, brushing off his last sentence. “But we’ll only find out when I start working.”
To begin with, Jungkook has proposed writing down ideas for a song and even small sentences if you feel like it. From there, you will try to see what you can do. Since he’s a specialist in ballads and breakup songs, he has also suggested focusing on that.
“Will you try writing on paper? Or would you prefer on your laptop or phone?” he asks.
When you write your novels, the first ideas are laid down in a notebook—one you carry with you all the time. Whenever something inspires you, you take it and write down the idea.
“Paper,” you reply.
Since your first exercise is to write down ideas, a paper seems like a good option for you.
“We bought tons of notebooks for this retreat. You can grab one from the cabinet,” he points out to it.
They are quite equipped for this retreat, which makes sense because they’re here for that. Naturally, you stand up to grab a notebook together with a pen before sitting back next to him. The desk isn’t honestly big, and you’re not sure you’ll be able to work with him this close to you.
For the next two hours, you just write topics, some phrasing here and there, while listening to music. You’re used to writing with some background noise, but this time around, it’s more like guidance. It’s been helping you to build some sentences.
Honestly, up until today, you never really paid attention to how a song was structured. What truly mattered were the words and the meaning behind them, but this time around, you truly listened to the song. So far, you’ve listened to the same song for at least a hundred times. ‘It’s Only Love, Nobody Dies’ from Sofia Carson.
The ideas you put down in the notebook aren’t particularly great. There’s “Missing you”, a concept about an old love lost that broke your heart, but you still miss them. Maybe Jungkook inspired that one.
There’s “What we could have been”, a concept of loved ones who never admitted their love out loud. And finally, there’s “My love”, a concept simply about a strong love between two people.
The sentences for each concept aren’t particularly great, but you’ve written what you would have done for a book, and you tried to shorten every sentence. It isn’t an easy exercise.
When you look at your watch, it is already 7 pm—the day is already over. The day went quite quickly between writing, eating, and discussing with the boys. Namjoon, the producer of the band, thanked you a million times for your help.
“Do you want me to check out what you’ve done?” Jungkook says once he notices the time.
For a hot minute, you hesitate heavily, not sure you want him to read what you’ve done. You’re not really proud of what you’ve done so far, but deep down, you know he has to read—it’s the only way to guide you.
“You can,” you tell him while handing him the notebook, “but I don’t want to be around you when you do it.”
“Okay,” he nods.
Jungkook remains in the room as you leave him alone. His hands reach for your notebook, reading what you’ve done today. There are a lot of notes, more than he had actually expected. Seems like he underestimated you.
Honestly, he’s impressed. What you’ve done is really great, but you’re a writer at the end of the day. You master words like nobody else, even better than he does.
The idea “Missing you” hits him more than the others. The words are already auspicious, and you can both definitely work with this. This is a solid base.
“You disappeared from my life
Leaving me missing you
Missing the way you say my name
Missing the way you kissed me
Yeah, I really miss you
But I guess this is all in my head
And you’re not the man I used to think you were.”
Surprisingly, the second week went by very well. Your interactions with Jungkook are minimal; you’re both in the same room for the day, but barely speak to each other. The idea you had of this writing thing was completely wrong.
At the end of each day, he reads what you’ve done, scribbling some notes here and there. The next day, you discover them and work around them to continue the song you are working on.
Slowly, “Missing you” has been starting to shape into something beautiful and strong, and you’re genuinely confident that this will be one of the album’s songs. This song is about him, and deep down, you think he knows it. Writing it together makes it somehow powerful.
And you have to admit that putting down what you feel about him is helping you a lot. It feels liberating.
Today, for the first time in a week, you’re discovering what he’s been doing on his side. You’ve asked him to show it to you, and unlike you, he wants to see your reaction. So, it’s like almost midnight, you’re both sitting on the couch in the living room. The fireplace is lit up, warming the two of you.
His notebook lies on your lap, the pen in between your fingers, and your eyes read every single word he has put down. As your eyes scan what he has done so far, you’re left wondering why on earth your brother begged you to help them. Jungkook doesn’t need help at all.
“Why did you ask for my help?” Your eyes lift to meet his gaze.
He shrugs. “Guess we wanted a different perspective. Fresh eyes.”
He’s unbelievable. Did he pretend to write shit to have you sitting next to him? If he really did that, you’re definitely going to commit murder, and you can’t be held accountable for that. But is your brother aware of this?
No, it wouldn’t make sense. He’s been making sure from the start that you don’t come at each other’s throats, so he certainly doesn’t know.
“You mean my eyes?” you ask, almost fuming with anger.
“You’re a writer,” he says, almost defensive. “You know how to make people feel things.”
“And you don’t?” you shoot back before you can stop yourself.
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t answer. You glance down at the lyrics again—words about love and longing and heartbreak—and something in you twists. They’re beautiful, yes, but they’re also safe. Like he’s hiding behind perfect words and metaphors, but they sound empty. Those are just words without any real meaning.
You try to calm yourself down because you need to tell him how you truly feel about his writing. If he wants fresh eyes, he’ll have them, which includes your raw opinion.
“You write love songs,” you say quietly, almost to yourself. “But you don’t say anything real.”
He looks up, frowning. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you keep hiding behind your songs,” you say, voice low but steady. “You make everyone feel like you’re bleeding your heart out, but you never actually tell the truth.”
Jungkook clearly sounds offended, but deep down, he knows you’re right. He has simply put words together in a way that would please everybody—almost like he’s choosing safe metaphors over genuine emotion. It’s as if he’s more concerned with creating something universally appealing than expressing anything true or raw.
“And what truth is that?” he snaps.
“The one you’re too scared to write about.”
For a moment, he closes his eyes, running a hand through his hair. Your eyes get lost in the way his muscles flex under the shirt’s sleeves. Over the past five years, his body has become more toned, broader than before. No wonder the fans drool over him whenever he goes on stage.
“You think you know what I’m scared of?” he mutters, standing now in front of you.
You push to your feet too, your pulse picking up. The distance between you seems even smaller now that you’re both standing face to face and between the fireplace and the couch. The warmth from the fire blends with the tension in the room, amplifying every movement—his steady gaze, and even the subtle way your hands clutch the notebook.
“I think you’re terrified of saying something that actually matters,” you reply.
“You don’t know that you’re fucking talking about.”
“Don’t I?” You lift his notebook, the pages trembling slightly in your hands. “You write about love like it’s a song you heard once, not something you’ve actually felt.”
His jaw flexes even more, which you didn’t think was possible, and for a moment, he doesn’t move. Then he steps forward—just enough that the air between you tightens. “You have no idea what I’ve felt. “
“Then show me,” you whisper. “Write something real.”
He’s close enough now that you can feel the warmth of his breath brushing against your face. Neither of you moves, neither of you looks away. The room feels so small, and suddenly, words don’t seem like enough.
Jungkook’s gaze drops to your lips for a fraction of a second. Your heart skips a beat, your fingers still gripping the notebook between you like a fragile wall.
“You really want something real?” He murmurs, his voice getting lower and deeper.
Your breath catches, your mind completely losing it, but there’s absolutely no doubt when you say, “Yes.”
Jungkook leans in, his face slowly getting closer, and your mind is brought back to five years ago. To the day he kissed you. Everything around you completely disappears, and you become once more the twenty-one-year-old who had madly fallen in love with your brother’s best friend.
That girl used to dream so much, especially about him. She’d replay every night all the conversations, the calls, the messages, and the exchanged glances. She’d smile at the simple mention of his name. She’d look for him in a room full of people, only to find him looking back at her with the biggest and brightest smile on his face.
For the past five years, that girl was replaced with one filled with anger towards the same guy who made her believe in love. She’d have daggers in her eyes whenever he was around. She’d roll her eyes at the mention of his name. She’d swear whenever she heard his voice on the radio.
And tonight, you’re a combination of both. You’re the girl who loved him with her entire soul, and the one who hated him.
Your eyes move from his eyes to his lips, wondering what is about to happen. A kiss would reignite the fire you’ve been trying to extinguish. This isn’t a good idea.
And then Jungkook stops, not getting any closer to you.
This makes you truly realize the extent of what was going to happen, and you take a step back. For a brief moment, you close your eyes, not believing that you were this weak and almost ready to let him break you all over again. The sound of your breath feels too loud in the quiet room.
Jungkook clears his throat, dragging a hand through his hair as if the gesture could erase what just almost happened. “We should…uh…get back to work.”
“Yeah,” you quickly say, opening your eyes. “Work.”
He nods, but he doesn’t move right away. His eyes flicker to your lips once more, then down to the notebook still clutched in your hand. You follow his gaze, realizing your fingers are shaking. You hold out your hand to give him back his notebook.
“Maybe I’ll go to sleep,” you mutter when he takes the notebook. “It’s already midnight, and we have to work tomorrow.”
“Yeah, right,” he says, scratching the back of his neck.
Even though you basically run to your room, you try to pretend like this didn’t affect you and try to walk as normally as possible.
Needless to say, none of you slept that night, minds tangled in the memory of that almost kiss, replaying the moment over and over.
The days that follow are heavy—avoiding Jungkook even more is your new passion. You refuse to be alone with him in the writing room, so you move around any available room in the house.
Clearly, this frustrates everybody. The boys were convinced you’d managed to find a common ground, but they’re sad to notice they were wrong all along. They are actually even scared that no ballad will come out of this partnership.
And Noah feels more than guilty to have dragged you to this.
“If this is too much, you can drop out,” your brother says when he sits down next to you in the kitchen.
You barely acknowledge his presence, focusing on the verses you’re writing. The title of this song—if you can even call this a song—is “You don’t care”. No need to be a genius to know who it’s addressed to. And you’re not going to hide this from him.
“You walk past me like I wasn’t there
And just pretended like you didn’t care
I don’t know why I run away.”
But beneath all this pain and hate, you’ve also started something written by your younger self. Being in this writing retreat has brought up so many souvenirs and emotions. Things are not just black or white like you’d like them to be. There are so many grey areas.
And they scare the shit out of you.
Sometimes, what you felt five years ago comes back to the surface, and you can’t help but put it down. For that part, you’re not really sure you’d like Jungkook to read it, but it’s inevitable. He reads your notebook every day.
“You begged me to help you out,” you reply, finishing the sentence you have in mind before finally looking up at him.
“But we can see things are getting worse with Jk,” he says, worry written all over his face.
“What were you expecting, Noah?” you say, your words sharp with annoyance.
“Definitely not this,” he whispers.
You sigh, rubbing your hand over your face. You’re exhausted, as your mind seems to enjoy torturing you every night with the thought of the almost kiss.
“Look, in the midst of it all, I thought it’d help to improve your relationship with him,” he confesses.
You roll your eyes dramatically. “Your hopes were too high, Noah.”
Maybe things could have gotten better, but after the almost kiss, you hate yourself even more for letting your guard down. And you hate him too for even giving you hope.
“The first week was good, and don’t tell me I’m wrong,” he replies. “You’d stay together in the room all day long without even raising your voices.” So he noticed. “But something happened; otherwise, you wouldn’t be going around the house.”
“Nothing happened,” you defend yourself straight away. “I simply can’t stand being with him anymore.”
Telling your brother what happened is out of the question—he’d be the one killing Jungkook. Actually, now that you’re thinking, you’re not sure what your brother’s reaction would be if he ever found out about the whole situation.
“Really?” he raises an eyebrow.
Okay, for sure, the almost-kissing part can’t be revealed, but there is everything that you said to him before that incident.
“Well, I might have told him that he writes shit.”
“Yn,” he whispers while rubbing his face.
“What?” you genuinely reply. “If you want me to do this right, I have to be honest. And Jungkook is the last person on earth I’ll be sparing.”
Your brother stands up, disbelief all over his face.
“Maybe you could have this time,” he tells you.
“Noah,” you mutter. “This man has written the prettiest ballads I’ve ever heard, but what he showed me the other day was just an association of words he’d expect people to enjoy. It was devoid of emotions. That wasn’t Jungkook.”
As painful as it is to admit this out loud, it’s the truth. You might hate this man—and even yourself for the heartbreak—but his mind is brilliant. The songs he has written are powerful, beautiful, and deep.
“This is supposed to be a writing retreat, no? Am I supposed to be helping you, right?” you ask, and he nods. “So he deserved to hear it. I’m not letting him write shit just because it’s what people want.”
A little chuckle rumbles from his throat. “You’re more invested than I’d imagine.”
“It’s your band, silly,” you stand up before hugging your brother. “And I’d do my best to help you produce the best album ever.”
Even though you hate being around Jungkook, he’s part of your brother’s band, and there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for him. And you’ll make sure that whatever you do is great. If you’d settle for whatever Jungkook did, it was going to be a shitty album.
Noah wraps his arms around you, holding you tight in his embrace. He’s grateful to have you around because this whole retreat has been draining him. In between composing melodies, singing whatever they manage to create, and going over old songs, seeing you calms him. Around you, he simply disconnects from work.
For the rest of the day, you show your brother what you’ve come up with, and he clearly expresses his love for “Missing you”. It’s clearly a song still in progress, but it’s slowly getting better. The lyrics page is covered with notes from you and Jungkook.
“‘Missing you’ is the title?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” you nod, “but it’s temporary, unless we don’t come up with something better.”
“Why not cut to ‘Miss you’?” he says while taking your pen from your hands. “All the ‘missing you’ in the lyrics were changed to ‘miss you’ so it’d make more sense.” Your brother crosses out ‘Missing you’ to replace it with ‘Miss you’.
He’s not wrong. Keeping it doesn’t make much sense anymore, especially now that the song has changed.
“Other than that, it’s pretty promising,” he says. “I guess the next step would be to compose the melody.”
“I leave that part to Jungkook,” you reply. “It’s already tough to write lyrics, so don’t ask me to build everything.”
“Why not? You’re literally writing it, so I imagine you have some background melody in your head.”
Of course, you envision a melody when you work on it, but creating it seems impossible. Like, how can you tell them to create what’s in your mind? You’re absolutely not going to do this. Your brother is already asking for too much.
“Noah,” you look up at him, “I’m already doing too much for this band.”
“Jungkook can help you with that,” he replies. “It’s literally his job, and you’ve created this song together—it wouldn’t make sense to not involve you in it until the end.”
“No,” you firmly reply.
“Okay, then don’t come at Jungkook when it sounds like shit.”
You roll your eyes, annoyed by your brother. You can’t blame Jungkook for something you’re not good at. For the writing part, of course, you will, since you also work with them on a daily basis when giving life to your characters’ lives.
For the first time since the beginning of this retreat, you all have dinner together. Yes, it includes Jungkook as well. It’s honestly super weird. You avoid looking at him at all costs, but it’s impossible, as he’s sitting right across from you.
Once the dinner finished, the main lyricist of The Devil Lovers wraps his hand around your wrist, stopping you in your steps. You don’t even dare to look behind, scared to melt the second your eyes meet his. You’ll hate yourself even more.
“Let me go,” you say through gritted teeth while trying to set your wrist free from his strong grip, but in vain. “Jungkook,” you warn him, still not looking at him.
Your heart is beating wildly in your chest, ready to burst at any moment. ‘Pull yourself together, yn,’ you think to yourself. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. This is definitely going to be hard.
“I’ve rewritten the songs,” he mumbles, finally letting go of you.
Your hand falls at your sides while you slowly turn around. Obviously, you were fooling yourself into believing that you could go through the remaining weeks without seeing him. What a delusional that you are!
The second your eyes land on him, you swear that you’re going to die right on the spot. How can someone get more handsome, especially when you hate them with all your soul?
“Good for you,” you coldly reply.
He hands you his notebook. “Take it.”
“What do you want me to do with it?” you ask while raising an eyebrow.
He heavily sighs, clearly growing annoyed by your attitude. “You know the answer.”
Clearly, you’re doing everything to push him away and interact as little as possible with him. “You don’t need me—”
“Stop with the bullshit, yn,” he cuts you off. “We read each other’s works since the beginning.”
“Well, it’s not what you’ve been doing lately.”
Jungkook grabs your hand, placing his notebook in it before saying, “Just fucking take it, and stop being an annoying bi—” he stops himself before saying anything he might regret.
You can’t believe that he was about to call you an annoying bitch. Who the hell does he think he is?
“What were you going to say?” You fold your arms against your chest, his notebook now in your hands.
“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “Just read it.”
And before you can reply, Jungkook leaves you alone in the kitchen, clearly running away from you. The anger buzzes under your skin.
The silence that follows feels louder than the argument. He’s proving to you once more that he just keeps leaving you alone, like it’s his favorite game. You take this as your clue to read what he has done. Instead of remaining in the kitchen, you move to the living room, sitting in your favorite spot of the house—the couch.
Nobody is in the room, and you assume the boys must be scattered throughout the house, working or resting. After throwing a blanket on your lap, you open the notebook. You can’t help but notice how full it is already. Jungkook has definitely been working a lot for the past couple of days.
As you flip through the pages, a smile can’t help but stretch on your face. “This is fucking good!” you whisper to yourself.
What you’re reading is different, rawer, and more personal. This is a hundred times better than what he showed you some days ago. In the end, having that not-so-comfortable conversation with him pushed him to improve.
Suddenly, Namjoon takes a seat next to you, quickly looking at the notebook in your hands. When your gaze shifts up to him, you smile. Since becoming one of your brother’s closest friends, you’ve grown to be his friend as well. He’s like a second brother to you.
“Jungkook’s?” he asks, and you nod. “I’ve heard things have gotten worse with him.”
“I hope you’re not going to lecture me like Noah did this morning,” you reply.
Namjoon chuckles. “I’m not. I actually wanted to check up on you since this was supposed to be a break, and here you are, helping us.”
“What a girl wouldn’t do to help her brother,” you teasingly say, which makes him giggle.
The leader of the band quickly eyes the notebook once more. The look on his face says it all—just like you, he believes this is quite good.
“Good, isn’t it?” his eyes lift up to meet yours.
“He didn’t need my help,” you admit quietly, your fingers brushing over Jungkook’s words.
Namjoon hums. “Yeah, I figured.”
For a moment, he remains silent, like he’s afraid to continue, but it only confirms your suspicions. Jungkook never needed you in the first place, although he claims the opposite. In a way, you’re helping; however, it was never needed.
“He probably did it on purpose.”
Your heart beats incredibly fast. “You think?”
He nods. “He for sure messed up the first drafts, made Noah think the songs weren’t working, just so he’d ask for you—the other word expert.” He leans back, watching you. “Though for the life of me, I still don’t get why. You two can barely stand to be in the same room.”
You stare at the lyrics again, your chest tightening.
“Surprisingly, he’s been very patient, calm, and nice with me,” you admit.
But the truth is, Jungkook never raised his voice at you—not once. He never needed to. When he was angry, he didn’t shout; he withdrew. His tone would turn cold, detached, precise. Every word would hit without leaving a mark anyone else could see. And you swear, words never hurt as much as they did the day he showed up with a new girl and told you that you didn’t mean anything.
And whenever you threw something harsh at him, he didn’t argue or break; he simply matched you. His calm would harden, his replies as sharp as yours, maybe even sharper if that’s even possible. Like he wanted to prove that he could wound you without ever losing control.
“Jungkook is an enigma I’m still trying to understand,” Namjoon confesses. “First, he had a massive crush on you, then he showed up with some random chick and started throwing first with you, and now, he does this.”
Your mind stops listening after ‘he had a massive crush on you.’ No. That’s not possible. You were close—too close, maybe—but it wasn’t like that. You kissed, sure, but that didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t have. Not when he started dating someone else right after.
“A crush?” you raise an eyebrow.
Namjoon chuckles, “Yn, everybody knew about it—even Noah.”
ACT II: “when ‘miss you’ becomes real”
Sleeping after Namjoon’s revelation was simply impossible, and facing Jungkook the day after was even harder. However, you’re not left with much choice. He handed you his notebook, which you need to return to him, and you also need to give him some feedback.
Nevertheless, before giving it back to him, you feel like you need to read it all over again. This time around, you prefer to do it in your own bubble, so you stay in your room, sitting on the bed while running your fingers over his handwriting.
This notebook has to hold at least twenty song drafts.
Rereading his lyrics, you notice how deep they are, and he never needed your help—not for this. Every word is perfectly chosen, every emotion sharpened and raw. He knows perfectly how to translate love and heartbreak. And beneath it all, he also expresses regret in a lot of them—regret for something he lost, someone he once loved too deeply to forget.
And those songs hit harder than the others.
‘Please forgive me, I can’t stop loving you’, ‘Forget what I said, it’s not what I meant’, ‘The memory of you is what I miss’, or even ‘You’re the one who inspired all my love songs’— those are some of the lyrics that twisted your insides until it’s hard to breathe and made your heart skip a beat.
Now you can’t stop wondering—if Namjoon was right, if the crush was real, then maybe these words are too. Maybe all this time, he’s been writing about you. In any case, every word he has written down in this notebook is way better than what he showed you some days ago.
As you navigate through one particular song, your pulse stops completely.
‘You always said words could heal, and maybe you were right.’
That line—it shouldn’t mean anything, except it does because those were your words, spoken years ago, in the middle of a storm, when rain soaked your hair and your hands were trembling. The day he kissed you for the first time.
It’s not just his lyrics you’re reading. It’s your past. Every verse is a memory you thought you had buried.
Your first kiss, you remember it now, while your fingers instantly run over your lower lip. The rain was coming down so hard it blurred the world into silver lines. You were both running to your place, soaked and laughing, your shoes squelching in puddles.
Back then, Jungkook was working on a song—yeah, it seems like it’s always about a song—and he was struggling. You’d said it, half-joking and half-serious, “Words can heal, you know,” when he’d say that lyrics never fixed anything.
He’d looked at you for a long moment, rain dripping from his hair, eyes darker than the sky. “I’m not so sure,” he’d reply.
At that moment, you were working on your first book—you already knew the power of words. They definitely could heal, but they needed to be formulated properly.
“You should try to write with your heart, not your brain,” you rested your hand on his soaked shirt, clinging to his chest.
Jungkook was the only person who knew you were writing a book. He was the only person you trusted the most.
“Then show me,” he said softly.
You didn’t even have the time to answer. His hand rested on top of yours on his chest, cold and trembling, and before you could think, he’d kissed you. It wasn’t perfect. It was wet, messy, and a little desperate, but it felt like the world had gone quiet around you. Just the sound of the rain, his breath against your lips, his thumb brushing your cheek as if you were something fragile.
You’d pulled back first, stunned, heart racing so hard it hurt. He’d smiled then—that shy smile that always gave him away—and you’d realized you’d never see him the same again.
“How can I kiss show you that—”
Before you could even end your sentence, he’d kiss you again. Being under the rain meant nothing in comparison to his lips against yours, or his warmth enveloping you. After months of teasing, pining, and longing, it was finally happening.
“I can now write how it feels to kiss someone,” he mumbled against your lips, answering your question.
Now, sitting on the bed with his notebook in your lap, you can still feel that storm clinging to your skin. The memory burns, vivid and alive, as if the years between then and now have collapsed into this one aching heartbeat.
A tear streams down your face and lands on his notebook. “You wanted something real and you got it,” you mumble to yourself. Jungkook has always been very good with words, and even better when he sings them with his entire soul.
There’s a particular song from a previous album you always loved, “The Last Verse”. Even when your pride and broken heart would tell you not to listen to it, you’d always do it. It’s a beautifully painful song, the kind of song that hurts in the best way.
The lyrics include lines like: “I tried to end the song, but your name filled every line,” or “You’re the verse I keep rewriting, even now, after all this time.”
It’s the kind of song that makes you cry, because you know it’s about a love that ended before it started. However, now that you know about this crush, it leaves you wondering if this was about you and him. Could it be?
You put down the notebook, wrapping yourself under the bedsheets and crying. Jungkook broke your heart in ways nobody ever did, but now, you get to see and hear that he was just as heartbroken as you. Why did he push you away? Why did he even break your heart if he loved you?
This pain hadn’t made you cry in a very long time; you even swore to yourself that you wouldn’t cry over him ever again, but here you are. The pain seems as intense as it did five years ago. How could it be?
For a moment, you stay curled up under the sheets, crying like a child over the memories you shared with him. You remember the way his eyes would always find you in a crowded room, or the way he’d smile every time he’d see you.
You remember his silly jokes—the ones that made you laugh even when you didn’t want to—and how he’d quietly drape a blanket over you when you fell asleep in his arms. And the memory that hurts the most is the one of him kissing you in the rain—the first and only time he ever did.
Loving him back then felt like a blessing, but today it’s the total opposite.
Once the tears stop running down your face, you leave the bed, grabbing your phone from the nightstand. Before rereading the songs, you texted your brother to have him deliver a message to Jungkook—you’d be working from your room this morning. You hoped that through this message, he’d get that you needed space to read his songs.
Before leaving the room, you give yourself a couple of minutes, knowing that Noah would directly realize you’ve been crying the second he sees you. You quickly stop by the bathroom, cleaning your face and following your skincare routine to freshen up your face.
With shaky hands and a wild heartbeat, your steps guide you to the writing room. For a minute, you remain behind the door, not knowing if you have enough strength to face Jungkook. When you open the door, he turns around to look at the person stepping into the room.
Unexpectedly, you’re looking at this man under a new light. He’s not just the man who hurt you anymore. He’s the man who had a crush on you. He’s the man who poured his memories of you into songs.
And that man steals your breath away.
“Hi,” you say while closing the door and getting closer to him. “I’ve read the songs.”
“Hey,” he says as he stands up to meet you halfway.
The energy between you has shifted. It’s still electric, but softer now.
“So?” he asks with a little smile. “Still not real enough for you?” You can sense a teasing tone in his voice.
Not sure how to formulate your thoughts, you simply nod. “They’re good.”
As you hand him back his notebook, he thanks you, and somehow, it’s like he feels you’re holding back. “Is there one you particularly like?”
“Lonely Nights,” you reply. “But they are all great.”
There’s a heavy silence for a moment between you before he breaks it. “I read the adjustments you did to ‘Missing you’,” he shakes his head, “sorry, it’s ‘Miss you’ now. I’ve added some extra notes, but I think we have the song now.” You nod while he hands you your own notebook. “Let me know what you think.”
“Thanks,” you say as you take it. “I’ll get back to work and leave you alone.”
You disappear, leaving him alone in the writing room before he can even answer. This writing retreat has now taken an unexpected turn—one where some secrets have been spilled.
The past two days, you’ve barricaded yourself in your room, fully focusing on writing. Even though there are five weeks left until the end of this retreat, Noah has told you that they should begin recording some of the songs you wrote next week.
But the songs are far from ready. The lyrics might be over soon, but the melodies have not even been started, which Jungkook should now focus on. That’s why you’ve been leaving him alone in the writing room.
The sound of the guitar and piano has been echoing in the house. Sound coming directly from the writing room. Since your room is far from that room, you haven’t been able to hear his voice, but you’re certain that he’s been singing on top of it.
And right now, you’re sitting on the little couch from that specific room with Jungkook in his chair and a piano on the desk. He has fully finished one song, and he wants your opinion before recording the demo and handing it to Namjoon for the production part.
Saying that you’re nervous is an understatement. You haven’t heard him singing a raw song for years, and the last time you did, you were in love with him, which you’re not anymore. Or at least, you want to convince yourself of it.
The first melodies of the piano resonate in the room, captivating you instantly. After a couple of seconds, his sweet and honey-like voice starts singing the first verse.
“Empty rooms, these walls know my pain,
I talk to shadows, but they can’t say your name.
The stars shine bright, but they feel so far,
I reach for your light, it’s my only star.”
You instantly recognize the words—he’s singing “Lonely Nights”. A warmth spreads all over your body, tears almost forming in your eyes. He’s been working on the song you considered your favorite. Fuck, this man will be the death of you.
“I let you slip away, I let my fear decide,
Now every lonely night has no one by my side.”
His voice wraps around the words like something fragile, something he’s afraid to break. Honestly, the piano is completely useless because his voice is the only thing needed to give life to this song.
“You always said words could heal, and maybe you were right,
But I lost my way and fell into the darkness.
You were my lighthouse, guiding me through,
I let you go, and now I’m lost without you.”
You’re sure that before the end of the song, you’ll be crying. This is absolutely beautiful. But the second verse absolutely crushes you.
“The rain reminds me of what we left behind,
A kiss in the storm, still etched in my mind.
I hear your laughter in every song I play,
But the music fades, and you’re still away.”
This verse was completely changed. In the version you read, he never mentioned the rain or the kiss in the storm. This song is definitely about you. And it breaks your heart beyond comprehension. You’re not even able to hold back your tears.
“If I could turn back time, I’d hold you near,
Chase away the silence, wipe away the fear, and your tears.
But I’m here in the dark, the night so wide,
Hoping someday you’ll come back to my side.”
The song was beautiful before, but now, it’s unbearable. This is filled with heavy emotions; only a fool wouldn’t feel them with the way he sings every word. You close your eyes, holding back the tears because you don’t want to look weak before him.
When he finishes, there’s only silence. You’re completely speechless. How can you even say something after this?
Jungkook turns around, his gaze landing on you. His cheeks have taken a red shade, his breath is even, and his hands are slightly trembling. Seeing him like this, without any context, someone would think that he just trained.
“How do you make it sound easy?” you blurt out, putting an end to this silence.
“It’s never been easy,” he replies quietly. “It’s never when you sing and write something real.”
Honestly, you don’t really know what to say. Writing something real has never been easy; you know it better than anyone. But somehow, Jungkook makes it seem effortless, and that thought unsettles you more than it should.
“It’s beautiful,” you admit out loud.
“Thanks,” he kind of bows.
Many thoughts are jumbled together in your mind, and you don’t even know if you should say them. But since you’re here for work, it might be wise to focus on that and leave behind anything personal. You’ve many things that you’d like to confront him about, but it might not be a good idea.
“I’ve checked ‘Miss you’,” you tell him while playing with the edges of your sleeves and biting the inside of your cheek. “I’ve just changed two or three things,” you give him the notebook that was sitting next to you. “You can check them out.”
Jungkook takes it from your hands, directly going to the pages you both know by heart. His eyes run over your new notes, and for what seems like a long time, he reads them, remaining silent. Your heart is going wild in your chest.
“It’s good,” he finally says. “I like them.”
You simply nod, a hint of a smile appearing on your face.
“We can now work on the melody,” he adds. “Since you came up with it—”
“No, I promised Noah to help with lyrics, not the full thing,” you answer without letting him finish his sentence.
Jungkook takes a deep breath. “Nobody can reproduce the way you envision the song,” he begins to explain. “This song is your creation. I want you to finish it, the way you see it, the way you feel it.”
“I don’t know how it works…” You admit, hiding your face in your hands.
“That’s why I am here,” his voice is absolutely sweet. “We’ll do it together.” There is a little silence before he adds, “It’s our song.”
He couldn’t have said it any better. The lyrics of this song were built by the two of you. It’s not yours only—it’s his as well. But giving it life seems so odd and almost impossible. You’re not sure you can explain to him how you envision the song in your mind.
“Okay,” you finally concede.
You don’t dare to look up at him, but you perfectly hear him whisper, “Thanks.”
Somehow, hearing him thanking you doesn’t sound right, so you decide to finally raise the question that has been on the tip of your tongue for a while: “Why did you ask for my help?”
As you speak, you lift your head to meet his gaze. The closeness between you allows you to notice how he freezes completely, making you realize that he never expected you to raise this question out loud.
“You clearly never needed it,” you add. “I want the real reason, not the 'fresh eye' thing you said the other day.”
“I did, you helped after—”
“Stop with the bullshit, Jungkook,” you cut him off, frustration clearly growing inside you. “We both know you’ve written shit on purpose, but I haven’t been able to figure out why.”
He runs a hand through his hair, standing up before sitting next to you. In years, he hasn’t been this close to you, but in an inexplicable way, this doesn’t feel wrong. It’s actually the opposite. Feeling the warmth emanating from his body is reassuring, comfortable.
“When Noah told me you’d join us for the retreat, I felt the need to solve things between us,” he begins to explain. “Five years of this hate—or whatever you want to call it—is starting to be exhausting.”
“Only for you…” you murmur, hoping that he wouldn’t hear it.
If he does hear you, he pretends at least not to when he continues. “Talking to you was going to be hard with the way you always throw daggers when I simply say ‘hi’. I didn’t know how to approach this.”
If he did this all to speak with you, he definitely looked desperate.
“So, I came up with this idea. I wrote the biggest shit I ever did, and pretended that I needed help from someone who masters words,” he explains. “I didn’t need to add anything else before Noah was at your door.”
Right now, you don’t know if you need to be angry about the devious plan he came up with, or if you feel impressed by it.
“But when we started working together, I stopped writing the shit I was before. Only you called me out and made me realize that I was still doing shit,” he adds. “So you still helped.”
You roll your eyes, not buying it. This man can’t write something that isn’t great.
“Spare me,” you reply. “You’ve written the prettiest songs I’ve heard.”
He chuckles. “They take time—the final version is always far from the first draft.”
“You really didn’t need to do all that just to speak with me…” you then say.
“Really?” he raises an eyebrow. “Tell me, would you have let me even look at you?”
Jungkook is right—you never would’ve let him get close. You would’ve pushed him away the second he came too close.
“Maybe,” you say, trying not to admit the truth.
Your gaze is locked on his, sadness slowly appearing in his brown eyes. Seeing it breaks your heart, but you remind yourself that he already did it in the past.
“It’s time we put an end to this,” he lowly says.
“Easy for you to say it when you’re not the one who got thrown away like you didn’t mean anything…” Your words cut sharply.
“Yn…” The way he whispers your name sends shivers down your spine. “It wasn’t easy for me either.”
“Don’t,” you cut him off. “Just don’t.”
He suddenly stands up, pacing the room right in front of you. This version of him—sad, broken, regretful—is one you’ve never seen before.
“Have you ever truly listened to my songs?” he stops in his tracks, meeting your eyes. The sadness written all over his face devastates you. You nod.
“Truly?” he insists. “If you did, you’d understand they’re all for you.”
Your eyes instantly flutter shut, trying somehow to stop the pain swelling in your chest. Jungkook can’t say that. He has no right to.
“No,” you manage to say.
“It’s the truth,” his voice is barely above a whisper.
“Stop Jungkook,” you stand, anger sparking through you. “You can’t just say that—not after what you did.”
Your mind races as you finally speak the words your twenty-one-year-old self never could.
“You don’t get to kiss me, date another girl right after, say that I didn’t mean anything, and then claim your love songs were for me,” you say, your voice sharper than you intended. “You have no right. Absolutely none.”
For a brief moment, he closes his eyes. It’s obvious he’s suffering just as much as you do, but you don’t care. He’s the one who broke your heart.
“I was afraid, okay?” his voice rises, which takes you aback.
“What?” you ask as if you didn’t hear him right, but the silence that follows gives you the time to process his words properly. “You’re telling me you ran away because you were afraid?”
“Yes,” he runs his fingers through his hair.
“For fuck’s sake,” you scream before simply leaving the room.
The air is suffocating you. Jungkook is suffocating you with his shitty explanation. You can’t stay with him; otherwise, you’ll definitely kill him. Even though the weather is absolutely cold this night of November, you leave the house, tears running down your face.
You can’t do this anymore. You can’t face the man who shattered your heart anymore.
The next day, you spent it visiting a village not too far from the house. Noah got worried when you told him you needed space and time away from Jungkook, but he let you be, only asking to tell him where you were throughout the day.
You needed air.
Being away definitely helped, but talking to your best friend, Ava, on the phone while wandering around boosted you. She knew about your crush on Jungkook. She was sitting front row when you were pinning around each other. She saw how devastated you were after.
So, you told her everything he said to you the night before—she cursed a lot. But she also guided you. She believed you need to finish this album, or at least the song ‘Miss You’, putting your hate towards Jungkook aside. She also advised you to have an honest and raw conversation with him.
“Sometimes, it’s hard to admit you’re afraid, and Jungkook did it, so you should at least let him explain it to you. In detail,” she wisely said.
As always, Ava wasn’t wrong.
So you followed her advice, and here you are, two days after running away from Jungkook, standing in front of the annex’s door. This house seems to know no end, and they manage to recreate a small studio in the annex. You’ve never been inside since you were busy working in the writing room.
Noah told you Jungkook was working at the studio, bringing his song “Lonely Nights” to life. The boys haven’t heard it yet; apparently, he wants to record the demo before showing it to them.
Your brother explained that this is how they usually work: Jungkook writes the song, records a rough version, and only then lets the boys listen so they can decide how to split the parts before recording the final track.
After taking the deepest breath of your entire life, you knock at the door. You hear footsteps before Jungkook opens the door. You can’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes, clearly indicating that sleep hasn’t been his best friend lately.
“Hi,” he says, stepping aside to let you in.
“Hi,” you say as you enter.
After the heated argument, it feels odd to be around him, too scared that it might blow up again. However, you desire to hold up to your promise—to your brother, Ava, and Jungkook—overshadows the grudges you have against him.
“Just to give you a heads up,” you begin, not bothering to look at him, “I’m only here to finish what we started.”
“Okay,” he says in a low voice.
Jungkook invites you to sit in the chair next to him, in front of the piano. He then explains how you will proceed.
“We’ll take it slow,” he says softly, fingers hovering over the keys. “Start by humming the melody. Doesn’t matter if it’s messy, I’ll catch it.”
“Should I hum the entire song?” you ask, unsure.
“Yes,” he nods without hesitation, “and then, we’ll break it down, bit by bit.”
A knot forms in your stomach. You’ve written entire worlds, universes with a pen, but humming a song in front of him feels impossibly intimate. Still, you inhale and do as he asks.
The moment you open your mouth, heat rushes to your cheeks. The melody in your mind feels clearer than what comes out, your voice trembling more than you expected. It’s embarrassing, vulnerable, and nothing like the confidence you show when writing.
But Jungkook doesn’t look away. He doesn’t even blink. He watches you like he’s afraid to miss a single sound you make.
His full attention burns hotter than stage lights, and it only makes you waver more. You keep going anyway, humming the shape of the song as best as you can, even though every second stretches like an eternity.
Without realizing it, you start tapping the rhythm on your thigh. When you finally trail off, breath unsteady, you finally look at him.
His focus now shifts to the piano in front of him, and for a moment, his eyes scan the keys before his fingers fall on them. The first melodies definitely sound similar to what you hum.
When he stops, his eyes turn back to you, “Was it right?”
“Yes,” you say while nodding, “but I would say a bit higher.”
Jungkook tries again, and this time, the sound is perfect.
“That’s it,” you whisper once he stops.
After that, you keep working, bit by bit. You continue humming for a couple of seconds before he tries to reproduce and records it in his laptop at the same time. Slowly but surely, he gives life to whatever was in your mind throughout the entire writing process. And it’s beautiful.
Once you finish humming, Jungkook hits a few keys, adjusts something on the laptop, and then plays back the melody. Hearing the scattered hums shaped into something coherent—something beautiful—steals your breath away.
Jungkook is a magician. There’s no other explanation. You didn’t think it was possible, and yet here it is, real, alive.
“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, your eyes locked on his.
“It’s all you,” he replies with a small smile.
“Absolutely not. I just hummed what was in my head. You’re the one who turned it into this.”
“Everything is possible in music,” he murmurs, eyes dropping to his hands.
After everything that happened in the past days, you know he’s right. If you can imagine it, you can create it.
“Yeah,” you softly say with a smile growing on your face, “looks like it.”
For a brief moment, a gentle silence stretches between you—not tense, not painful, not full of unresolved anger. It’s the first peaceful moment you’ve shared in years, and it settles around you like warmth.
“Now,” he eventually says, breaking the quiet, “we just need to polish it.”
You nod, “Not sure what that means, but sure.”
Apparently, it means adding extra chords, layering harmonies, twisting the melody until it blooms into something richer, something whole. The transformation is incredible, and this is only the instrumental version. You can’t help imagining what it’ll sound like once the boys add their voices.
Watching Jungkook work is mesmerizing. He moves between the piano and the computer like he’s translating another language—one only he speaks. And through it all, he keeps pausing to ask for your opinion.
Every time he does, it feels like he’s handing you ownership. Like this is your song just as much as his. Like you matter here.
When you’re finally done, you exhale. “So, what now?”
“We record a demo,” he says lightly. “Otherwise, the boys don’t know how to sing it.”
“We?” you ask, your eyebrows knitting together, “We as in… you and I?”
Jungkook nods without hesitation. “We wrote the lyrics together. We built the melody together. Of course, we record it together. It only makes sense.”
“I can’t sing…” you instantly blurt out.
“That’s not true,” he counters immediately, rolling his eyes. “I’ve heard you many times. You’re pretty good.”
Both you and Jungkook walk to the recording booth, your mind imagining your brother in the same spot, working on other songs. He’s been here since the beginning of the retreat, and he must know this place by heart by now.
Jungkook takes out a pair of headphones from the stand and hands them to you with a small smile. Your eyes move between his hand and his face, your teeth gripping your lower lip. This makes it feel even more real. You’re creating a song from A to Z.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Not really,” you admit, but you still put the headphones on. Your heart is racing; you don’t know if it’s the mic in front of you or him.
He chuckles softly. “It’s okay, I’ll guide you through it. I’ll be on the other side, playing the track on your headphones and guiding you, okay?”
Honestly, this feels so stressful. ‘How does Noah manage to do this every day?’ You think to yourself. Well, he must be used to it by now—he’s been doing it for seven years.
Jungkook walks back to where you were sitting a couple of seconds ago.
“Let’s start with the melody track. You’ll just hum along. You don’t even have to sing words yet,” he says through the mic.
You nod, even though your palms are sweating. The little recording room feels too small, too quiet, too intimate. You hear the faint buzz of the equipment and your own pulse in your throat. You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on you, steady and reassuring.
“Yn, relax your shoulders.”
You didn’t even realize how tense you were until you let out a long breath.
“Good,” he encourages, voice warm in your headphones. “We’ll go slow. I’ll play the track, and you hum the melody the way we shaped it. No pressure. If you mess up, we’ll just redo the take.”
“Okay,” you whisper, getting super close to the mic to make sure he hears you.
Your melody—the one you hummed awkwardly an hour ago, but now real, alive—fills your ears. Jungkook’s touch is all over it: delicate chords, subtle strings, and little details you don’t even know how to name.
Your voice comes out timid at first, barely a breath, but you follow the melody.
“You’re doing great,” he says in your headphones, so quietly it almost feels like he’s whispering into your ear. Your cheeks burn before he restarts the track.
“Let it flow this time,” he murmurs in your ears. “Don’t overthink it.”
And you try. You take a very deep breath before letting yourself fall into the music, forgetting the mic, your insecurities, and you simply hum what you feel. This feels surreal. The track plays in your ears like it’s the only thing you can hear right now.
When you finish, Jungkook is speechless for a moment. Then he says, “Beautiful.”
You shake your head instantly, not believing him. “No way.”
“Come listen,” he says, barely smiling.
You step out of the booth, removing the headphones, and take a seat beside him. He hits play. Your breath catches because you sound quite good. Better than good. His arrangement holds you, lifts you, wraps around your voice like it was always meant to.
“See?” Jungkook murmurs, leaning just a little too close. “Told you.”
You glance at him. His eyes are soft, too soft, full of something you don’t want to name. Somehow, being in this room and working with him on ‘Miss You’ makes all the pain and hate vanish completely. It’s like old times—when you only had love for him.
For a moment, there’s only you and him. The entire world around you disappears, and it’s a feeling you thought you would never experience again with him.
He clears his throat. “Okay, now let’s do it again, but with the actual lyrics.”
Your stomach drops. “Wait. Sing? Jungkook, no.”
“Yn,” he laughs under his breath, “you just did the hardest part.”
“But that was humming,” you play with your fingers, your eyes looking down at them like they are the most fascinating thing. “It’s not the same.”
“We’ll sing the first line together, okay?” he says quietly. “I’m here with you.”
You nod slowly.
“We can do a first try without recording it, and then, we’ll get in the booth. Sounds good for you?”
You nod once more. This feels less pressuring, but you know that once it is over, once you’re back in the booth to record the demo, the boys will be hearing it. Somehow, that is stressful. You’ve never sung in front of anyone except your family and close friends, Jungkook included. The boys never heard your voice.
He presses a key on his laptop, letting the track resonate in the room. Then, he sings, low and gentle, not performing, just existing in the music.
“I’ve been running from the quiet,
Cause the silence always knows.”
You join him on the next line. Your voice trembles at first, but he matches you, supports you, blends with you until you find steadiness.
“Every thought I tried to bury
Finds its way back to your ghost.”
It feels unreal, like your voices were always meant to fit together like this.
“I pretend that I’m fine,
But the nights don’t ever lie
They pull your name from my chest
Like a truth I can’t deny.”
Not humming anymore feels odd, but finally reading out loud what you’ve come up with is somehow a relief.
“I know we said we’d let go,
But letting go never stayed.
If moving on was simple,
Then why do I feel the same?”
When you reach the chorus, your eyes inevitably rest on the man sitting next to you. This song is about him in every possible way. But after having him adjust it, you know it’s also about you. This is about what you could have been and how you both missed each other so deeply.
“’Cause I still miss you
More than I’m allowed to say.
I still miss you
In the smallest, quiet ways.
Every memory, every heartbeat,
Leads me back to you.
I don’t know if I should love you…
But God, I miss you.”
Your eyes move back to focus on the laptop in front of you. His voice echoing against you helps you keep going. He’s really good at what he does. His voice is perfect, but the way he composes and writes makes him even more perfect, if it’s even possible.
And your heart beats and aches once again for this man. The only man who truly conquered your heart and made it hard for anyone after him.
When the bridge approaches, you swear that you feel your soul leaving your body. It was the hardest part to write—the one you both keep changing and adjusting.
“Maybe someday,
We’ll find the courage we lost.
Maybe someday,
We’ll tell the truth without cost.
But until the moment we do,
I’ll keep holding on to
Every version of us
I couldn’t live through.”
Then you reach the final and probably the saddest part of the song, the final chorus.
“I still miss you
More than I can bear tonight.
I still miss you
When the darkness needs a light.
Every memory, every heartbeat,
Tells me you still feel it too.
I don’t know what we’re becoming
But God, I miss you.”
When you finish, neither of you speaks. You simply look at each other, and his gaze is the kind that makes your breath stop. You’re not sure you know how to even properly function. This whole session is intense in every possible way.
“See?” he whispers. “We make a good team.”
Your heart stutters.
“Jungkook…”
He offers you a little smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll record it step by step and together.”
He reaches forward and hits the record button before you head to the booth, headphones on.
“Ready?” he asks once you’re inside.
You nod, the track starts playing, and you both start singing the song you built together. A song you wrote about the love you both share for each other. A song that simply expresses how much you miss each other.
And that’s the beautiful side of this whole journey.
For the past two days, you’ve been giving life to every lyric you wrote with Jungkook. This is the best feeling ever. No wonder he loves to do this.
And over those two days, you’ve gotten to get closer. It felt like old times, when you were two friends hanging out together and having fun. This has partially healed your twenty-one-year-old self, who got completely heartbroken.
Now, you’re sitting in the studio with all the boys, listening to the ‘Miss You’ demo. Nobody speaks, only focusing on your and Jungkook’s voices. You’d like to say that you’re feeling embarrassed or shy, but it’d be a lie. Hearing your voice out loud, in a song, warms your soul.
Once the song is over, Noah looks at you with wide eyes. “You did that?” he asks while pointing at the laptop.
“Yes,” you nod.
“There’s no way we’re recording this or even changing it,” Yoongi says, his eyes going from Jungkook to you.
You frown, worry taking over you. Is the song bad? Didn’t they like it? Your heart starts beating extremely fast. What if all this time was lost?
“This is way too good,” Hoseok adds. “It’d be a crime to put my voice over this.”
“But—” you begin, but Noah cuts you off.
“There’s no but, yn,” he begins. “I completely agree with Hobi. If we sing this song, it’ll lose its magic. This is perfect with your and Jungkook’s voices.”
You quickly look at Jungkook, his eyes already on you, and your cheeks instantly burn. In the end, they don’t consider this like shit. It’s actually the opposite, and you can’t help but feel pride. This wasn’t in vain.
“If hating each other gives this, I can’t imagine what it’d be once it gets better,” Jimin confesses.
Honestly, right now, you want to disappear.
“Jimin,” your brother scolds him.
“What?” he asks. “Did I say anything wrong?”
If eyes could kill, Jimin would have already been on the ground.
“We can show you the other songs,” Jungkook suggests, and they all agree.
They like every single one of them, and they can’t wait to work on them. For sure, the version you created with Jungkook won’t be the final one, but in general, it will remain the same. And you have to admit that you’re also extremely excited to hear the final result, adjusted by Namjoon and with their voices on it.
When you all leave the studio, you head with Noah to the living room, sitting on the couch once inside. Your brother instantly tugs you into a hug, which surprises you at first, but you then wrap your arms around him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
“What you did was splendid,” he murmurs, holding you as tight as possible. “Thanks, sis.”
“I did it with Jungkook,” you admit. “I wasn’t alone.”
“Still,” he replies. “Maybe I’m biased because you’re my sister, but it was great!”
You chuckle, and you both remain like that for a moment.
For the past seven years, it’s been hard to spend some time with Noah. He’s always been on the road and working on albums, and it got worse when you became a writer. Your parents complained a lot that it was always hard to have you both in the same room for a couple of days.
So, being here with him and actually working with him means more than you can ever express. The love you have for him knows no boundaries, even though you’ll never say that to him, but you believe that he knows it. This has allowed you to spend more time with him, like when you were kids.
Noah is the protective kind of brother, but not in a toxic way. He lets you live your life like you intend to, and he’ll step up if you ask him. He’s never been the type to forbid you from dating someone. He actually encourages you, but keeps an eye on the guy, and makes you promise that you’ll think about yourself first.
His opinion is absolutely valuable to you, so he has read every single one of your books beforehand. For your first book, you were kind of insecure about it, but after the heartbreak that Jungkook puts you through, you gave it to him. Noah isn’t a writer by any means, but he’d always tell you what he believed sounded wrong.
Noah is your best friend. He’s the guy you’ll always rely on. And you’re grateful to your parents for giving you him. Life would have been boring without him.
“Now I understand why you love this so much,” you tell him when you break your embrace.
“Really?” he asks with the biggest smile on his face.
“Yeah, it’s cool to create a song from scratch.”
“Maybe you could be our ninth member,” he teases.
“Eeh, don’t push it too far,” you playfully hit his arm. “I love being a writer, and I’m absolutely not converting into being a singer.”
“But you could be a lyricist with Jungkook…” he offers.
You cross your arms. “You’re asking for too much, Noah. Consider yourself lucky I didn’t commit any crime for the past four weeks.”
He chuckles as he shakes his head. “If you say so.”
Honestly, it’s a miracle you manage to work things out with Jungkook, but you know you still need to have a very serious conversation with him. And that scares the shit out of you.
After that, you jump into your room to stay alone for a moment. You’ve interacted too much with too many people; you need to recharge your social battery before joining them again.
You grab ‘The Love Hypothesis’ by Ali Hazelwood, a book that tons of people recommended to you. So far, you’ve only read ten pages because you’ve been working way too much on this writing retreat.
After reading a couple of chapters, you can totally understand why people love it so much. The story is addictive, and you only want to know more about this attraction between Olive and Adam. And based on the description, you imagine Adam hot as fuck. Hopefully, one day, you’ll find someone like him.
At dinner, you emerge from your room to eat. As usual, nobody eats at the same time, but Noah was waiting for you like he does every day. Tonight, it’s carbonara pasta for everyone, prepared by the super chef Jin. He’s really talented.
“We’ve discussed all together,” Noah begins, “and if you agree, we’d like to add ‘Miss You’ as it is.”
“The version of Jungkook and me?” you ask before eating some pasta.
He nods. “Jungkook doesn’t mind, but we’d like to have your agreement. We won’t release it if you don’t want to.”
Wow, you honestly don’t know what to think. This was supposed to be only you helping them with writing songs, not you ending up on the album. If you agree, you’d be a singer on top of being a writer. You never expected your life to take such a turn.
“I need to think about it.”
Noah nods, and you then talk about something completely different while finishing your plate of pasta. After that, he disappears into his room to call his new girlfriend. It’s hard to follow up with his love life, but you only remember the girls he introduced you to. This new one is still unnamed since he doesn’t want to tell you anything about her until he’s sure it’s serious. ‘There’s no point in presenting you someone who might not stay,’ he told you once.
As you look through the window, you notice that it is snowing—not heavy snowing, but more like snowflakes gently falling from the sky. It’s beautiful. Instantly, you grab your puffer coat, scarf, and gloves, and head outside to the terrace.
Sitting down on the bench, your eyes just wrap around the beauty unfolding in front of you. Slowly, everything is getting covered in snow.
“Can I sit here?”
Your head turns to find Jungkook, covered in his puffer jacket, a wool hat, and a scarf. With this layer of clothes, he looks so small, and you can’t help but smile.
“Yeah, sure.”
Slowly, he sits next to you, but leaves some space between you. For a while, you remain in silence, and you just don’t care. You’re here for the snow, not to be with him, and it’s actually even better if he doesn’t speak. Your mind has already been running over the way to approach him for the famous conversation you need to have.
“It reminds me of the day we were stuck at my place,” he lowly says.
A smile grows on your face when you think back to that day. As usual, you were together at his place, watching a movie with hot chocolate in your hands. You can’t remember the movie you were watching, but it doesn’t really matter today.
It was snowing that day, slowly at first before it turned into a storm. You weren’t left with much choice, so you stayed at his place; you even slept with him that night. Nothing happened that night, even though your entire soul wanted it. The kiss under the rain happened a week after that.
“Good memories,” you simply reply, not wanting to go over that souvenir with him.
“Yeah,” he agrees with you. “I miss that time.”
Inevitably, you close your eyes, your heart beating too fast. Looks like he wants to have THE conversation.
“Jungkook…” you whisper, warning and plea tangled together in your voice.
You hear him shift closer, his warmth gathering near your shoulder, but you don’t dare to open your eyes to see just how close he is now.
“Yn,” he breathes, “I can’t even express how sorry I am. For everything.”
Being sorry five years later isn’t enough to erase everything he caused. The sorrow that overwhelmed you after he left, those nights when tears ravaged your cheeks, the ache that settled deep in your chest and refused to leave, none of it simply disappears because he’s sorry now.
“You can’t just come back five years later with your apologies,” you reply, your voice gentle despite the weight of your words. “It doesn’t erase what happened.”
For a moment, Jungkook doesn’t speak, the silence between you slowly becoming heavy and unbearable, almost suffocating.
“I know,” he finally whispers. “I know it doesn’t change anything.”
At his words, you open your eyes, his gaze already on you. You notice just how his jaw trembles. He looks like he’s trying not to fall apart in front of you, and failing miserably.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” his voice shakes in a way you’ve never heard before.
The man sitting next to you isn’t the one you’ve gotten to see over the past five years. Somehow, he’s the one he used to be before running away from you—vulnerable and honest.
“I just feel sorry for being the man who broke your heart,” he blinks, eyes never leaving yours, “and for causing that pain. You deserved someone who stayed. Someone who chose you. Someone who didn’t run because his world was falling apart. Someone who chose to run away because he was afraid.”
He breathes shakily while he rubs his hands over his face. You can’t help but realize that this Jungkook carries a heavy weight on his shoulders, and he’s definitely in pain. You’re certain that this goes beyond what he did to you.
And right there, you finally ask what has been going through your mind for a week now: “What were you afraid of?”
He closes his eyes, his breath catching before he speaks. It’s like the words have lived inside his chest for far too long, and he doesn’t know how to express them out loud.
“Honestly, I was scared of so many things,” he begins.
You can tell he’s struggling to express what’s going on inside his head. He stands up, turning his back to you, as if he can’t bear to look at you while he speaks his truth.
Your eyes remain on his strong back, hidden beneath his coat, and somehow, the snow around you makes this moment even more intense and vulnerable.
“I didn’t walk away because I didn’t want you,” he says with a shaky voice while turning around to look at you.
You completely freeze. This is definitely something you weren’t expecting to hear, ever. In your head, Jungkook had run away because he realized, after kissing you, that he didn’t like you.
His gaze on you is intense, overwhelming. It’s almost impossible to look at him, especially what he just revealed. How are you supposed to survive this with him looking at you like that?
“It’s actually the opposite,” he confesses. “I walked away because I wanted you too much.”
Your heart squeezes at his words, the pain almost equal to the one you felt once he showed up with a new girl after kissing you. Remaining seated is hard, so you now stand up to face him.
“But back then, I was a mess. I was terrified of everything, and my family was falling apart in ways I didn’t even know how to handle.”
His gaze locks on yours, and his words surprise you. You had no idea his family was struggling back then. Well, your brother told you, like a year after that, his parents had divorced, but you ignored that it was already taking place when you were still friends.
He swallows hard and takes off his hat to run his fingers through his hair. “My mom cheated, then my dad did it, then someone got pregnant, and suddenly everything I believed about family meant nothing.” His voice breaks on the last word.
His eyes are shining from the tears that he’s holding back. His vulnerability absolutely breaks your heart. You’re absolutely sure that you’re not going to get back inside alive. This man is killing you with his revelations and the way he looks at you.
“I was watching love die in front of me, yn. Every day. And the only thing that felt real was you.”
You close your eyes, heart beating so fast inside your chest that it could explode at any moment. You take a step closer, holding back the urge to grab his hands.
“And that scared the hell out of me,” he continues.
A tear streams down his face.
“You were the only thing in my life that was good. The one thing that made me feel like I wasn’t my parents’ son. And I thought that if I pulled you into the chaos I was living in, I’d ruin you too.”
He exhales shakily, his voice barely a whisper now. Jungkook doesn’t clean the tears running down his face, and seeing him tear up in front of you is painful in ways you can’t even express.
“I kissed you because I was in love with you.”
You feel your stomach drop, your heart twist painfully. He can’t just say that five years later. It’s too late now.
“And I left because I didn’t want to turn into the kind of man who breaks the girl he loves.”
Hearing out loud that he loved you devastates you. It makes you realize that it was never a one-sided love. Never. And you can’t say if it relieves you or hurts you even more.
“I knew I was going to hurt you either way. So I chose the version where you’d hate me instead of the version where you’d stay and watch me fall apart. I thought pushing you away was protecting you.”
Your throat tightens painfully, tears running down your face. You never thought you’d be hearing all this on a snowy night in November, in the middle of nowhere, and especially not five years later.
You don’t say anything because you actually don’t know what to say, so you just let the tears ravage your face. Jungkook instantly reaches for your hand, squeezing it as tightly as possible.
“I’m so sorry, yn,” he whispers. “I hate myself so much for what I did. I wake up every day wishing I could go back. Wishing I hadn’t been such a coward. Wishing you didn’t hate me as much as you did over the past five years.”
You sob. This is too much for your poor heart.
“Why now?” you choke out. “Why didn’t you say any of this five years ago? Do you have any idea how much it hurt to think I meant nothing to you?”
Jungkook’s face twists, shattered before closing the distance between you and cupping your face in his hands. You don’t push him away even though you should, but you need to feel him, to have him comforting you.
“The problem was that you meant everything.”
You feel absolutely weak, your knees are trembling, and threatening to fail you. You place your hands over his, trying somehow to hold yourself onto something.
“You still do,” he confesses softly.
His soft and cold thumbs clean the tears on your face, and instantly, your eyes close to savor this tender moment.
“You made me hate you,” you whisper with a shaky voice.
Jungkook presses a soft kiss on your forehead before resting his against yours. This hurts like hell. More than when he made you think he didn’t love you.
“I’m sorry, trouble,” he whispers.
Your soul leaves your body the moment he calls you ‘trouble’. He used to call you that because you were always bothering him, barely letting him focus or work. It started as a joke, but it stayed until you stopped giving him the right to call you like that.
“It’s too late, Jungkook,” you say while opening your eyes. “It was late the second you showed up with Stella.”
You push him away before getting back inside, leaving him alone on the terrace. You’re just too devastated. He can’t come back five years later, saying his sorry and explaining everything when he had all these years to do it. He can’t expect you to accept his apologies just like that.
With a bleeding heart, you run to your room, fall on your bed, and cry for the rest of the night.
ACT III: “the real meaning of ‘miss you’”
The silence between you and Jungkook has been incredibly heavy for the past week. You can’t bear to be around him for more than two minutes, so you disappear when he steps inside a room. You’ve also categorically refused to work with him.
Most of the songs were done and recorded; he can finish them by himself. You’re not needed anymore. Noah didn’t push, but once again, he was worried about you. This silence with Jungkook speaks louder than any harsh word you’ve ever thrown yourself in the past five years.
“You did tell her about your crush, right?” you hear Jin asking Jungkook in the kitchen.
“Why are you saying that?”
“She runs away the second you show up,” the eldest explains.
“You’re saying that she hates me because I had a crush on her?” Jungkook clearly sounds confused.
You can imagine Jin shrugging, and it makes you smile. Jin is the type of guy to be funny without even trying, and it’s why you adore him.
“That doesn’t make sense,” Jungkook adds.
“Why?” Jin asks. “If she doesn’t share your feelings… or if she did but you didn’t say anything… I’d hate you if I was her.”
You shake your head, smiling like an idiot. You shouldn’t hide behind the door and listen to their conversation, but you can’t help yourself. Curiosity has taken over you and your body.
“You’re not helping…” the youngest mumbles.
“So it’s that,” Jin’s voice is absolutely cheeky. “And what that crush of yours makes her hate you?”
The oldest member of The Devil Lovers is way too curious.
“It’s not that, Jinnie,” Jungkook dismisses his oldest friend.
“I’m not stupid,” he replies. “Actually, nobody is stupid in this house. We all know this situation is because of your massive crush on her, and it’s becoming unbearable.”
There is a moment of silence, and you can hear Jungkook sighing.
“Yeah, I told her,” he confesses, “but she said it’s too late.”
“And you’re a fool for letting her go,” he claps back instantly. “If you still have that crush on her, go after her.”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything, probably lost for words.
“Don’t you miss her? Don’t you miss being around her all the time like before?”
“Of course I miss her,” he admits. “I miss her constantly, but I messed up, Jin.”
You can hear Jin rolling his eyes from where you are. This man is always so dramatic.
“You definitely did, but you’d only make it worse if you don’t do anything now,” he explains to Jungkook. “She knows you like her, so show it to her.”
There’s another silence.
“Don’t lose her all over again because I know she loves you,” Jin lowly says, and by the way he quickly continues, you can tell that Jungkook is frowning. “You can’t go from being friends with someone to hating them overnight, and we both know that she never really hated you. She just refused to show you how in love she still was.”
With that, you disappear back to your room, grab your things, and scream in the house that you’re leaving. You need some space far away from all these boys.
“Yn,” you hear as you’re stepping outside.
No need to turn to know who that is. Jungkook. He’s the last person on earth you want to interact with right now.
“Please don’t,” you say as you turn, your breath shaking.
Jungkook freezes, not taking any further steps in your direction.
“Okay,” he simply says before sitting down on the doorsteps. “I’ll stay right here.”
“You know I’m leaving,” you tell him.
You are about to go for a short drive, with music blasting in the rented car as you try to forget, just for a moment, that he exists.
“Yeah,” he replies. “But I’ll still stay here.”
You deeply sigh before shaking your head. What is he doing now? What’s even the point of staying in the cold while you’re driving around?
“Are you serious?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “You’ll die of cold.”
“I know.”
You get closer to him because the distance between you doesn’t make it easy to hear him.
“Why are you doing that?” you ask. “Is it because Jin told you?”
A smile grows on his face as he stands up, closing the remaining distance between you.
“So you heard…”
“Not because I wanted to,” you lie.
You could have stopped listening to them, but you didn’t, way too intrigued by their conversation.
“So you heard what I said about missing you?” he dares to ask, hesitation clearly heard in his voice.
For a moment, you look down at your fluffy blue gloves. You bought them a couple of years ago, and they still are so fluffy and warm after all these years. The day you’ll have to change them, you’ll probably cry since you absolutely adore them.
“Yeah, I heard that part…” You admit, unable to hide the truth.
He doesn’t hesitate. “I mean it,” he instantly says, his tone firm and unwavering, leaving no room for doubt. “I really do.”
“I told you—” you begin to reply, but before you can finish, he interrupts, his voice soft but resolute.
“I heard you,” he says. “It’s too late.”
You take a deep breath, trying to think of what you can say to him. You were absolutely clear when you said that it was too late, and you left no room for interpretation. So why is he here now?
With a shaky breath, you whisper, “Then why are you making this harder?”
His hands reach out for yours, and like a week ago, you just let him, not pushing him away when you probably should.
“I really miss you, yn,” he repeats, softer this time, like the words hurt him. “I miss you more than I could even express.”
His thumb brushes over your glove, slow, steady, almost nervous.
“I miss having you around. I miss laughing with you about the silliest things. I miss the way you say my name.”
He swallows, his voice cracking just a little.
“God, I miss the way you made me feel at home.”
A beat, and his eyes drop to your mouth.
“I miss the feeling of your lips,” his voice is barely audible. “Fuck, yn… I just miss you. All of you.”
Your breath catches before you can stop it. The weight of his words crushes over you, and they bring back all those memories with him. You can feel deep inside you how it felt to laugh with him or the way he made you feel. You were convinced that everything would last forever, but you were completely wrong.
That’s why it hurts so fucking much.
The tears start streaming down your face, but you don’t even realize it. You only do when Jungkook’s expression twists.
“You can’t…” your voice breaks. You try again, but it comes out as a sob. “You can’t say those things to me.”
His hands squeeze yours, but you push away, wiping at your cheeks with trembling hands.
“You don’t get to miss me like that,” you manage, but the words shake violently. “Not after everything. You don’t get to drop this on me five years later.”
His jaw tightens, pain flickering in his eyes, but you can’t let him speak—not when your heart is unraveling this fast. You press a fist to your mouth, trying to steady your breathing, failing miserably. The cold feeling of the gloves against your lips freezes you completely.
Your mind is racing with thoughts. Over the past five years, you deeply missed him. You missed how things were between you, and you hated how they changed overnight. Yes, you loved this man with all your soul, and maybe you still do because it still hurts after all these years.
But the truth is that you still miss him. You never stopped missing him.
When you finally find your voice again, it’s barely a whisper—broken, small, and brutally honest. “I never stopped missing you.”
His breath hitches, and your eyes squeeze shut as more tears spill. This writing retreat has made you cry more than you have in a year. It’s incredible what this man makes you feel.
“And that’s exactly why it hurts so much,” you add.
For a second, Jungkook doesn’t move. He just stands there, staring at you with an intensity that makes your chest ache. It’s like your words hit him with the force of a punch, knocking the air out of him.
His lips part, but nothing comes out, before he manages to whisper your name in a way that sends shivers down your spine. “Yn…”
His gloved hand cleans the tears on your face, and for a brief moment, you close your eyes, savoring the soft moment.
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” he says while you open your eyes.
The words are quiet, but the weight behind them presses into you. You know him well enough to see how much he means it. How much he’s trying to restrain himself. Well, at least that’s what you think.
You swallow hard, your heart pounding. “Jungkook…”
He tilts his head slightly, just enough that your eyes meet. There’s longing, regret, and a quiet pleading in his gaze. A silent promise that he will be careful, that he won’t hurt you, but then, without another word, he leans in, his face closing the gap between you.
His eyes scan yours, trying to find a sign that you’ll push him away. You know this look. You know what it means, and the second you simply nod, his lips find yours. His hands cup your face with a shaking desperation.
At first, your body freezes as if trying to understand what’s going on. Your mind screams that it is too late, but your heart… Your heart breaks the moment his lips touch yours.
And then, you kiss him back.
Your hands grab his coat, pulling him so close your bodies collide, years of hurt melting into the kiss. A tiny sound escapes your throat, something between relief and heartbreak.
Jungkook deepens the kiss instantly, like he’s been waiting for this moment to breathe again. He kisses you slowly, then desperately, then slowly again as if he’s memorizing the shape of you.
You kiss him like you’re drowning. Like you hate him. Like you love him. Like you never let him go, even when you pretended you did.
Your fingers slowly move higher to slide into his hair, tugging, and he groans softly, his hands gripping your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.
The kiss is overwhelming, and that’s what makes you pull away.
You stumble back, breathing hard, lips swollen, and chest heaving. You can’t help but notice that he’s in the same state, and when his eyes snap open, you see how dark, blown wide they are.
You’re shaking, not from coldness, but from the intense make-out that you swore would never happen again. “This…”
You pull back slightly before turning your back to him. Your lips still tingle, your heart still races, and the world feels impossibly quiet except for the sound of your own breathing.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” you admit, your voice barely more than a whisper.
“You don’t have to…” he says softly, his voice low and tender.
“You hurt me after kissing me,” your voice cracks, emotion spilling out despite your best effort to stay composed. “Who can’t tell me you won’t be doing it again?”
He reaches out slowly, resting his hand lightly over yours. “I know,” he whispers, “and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I was wrong. I know I hurt you—fuck, I deeply know it, but I can’t take back the past. All I can do is try to stay this time, and to show you that I never stopped loving you.”
Your breath hitches as you turn around to look at him.
“I’m scared, Jungkook,” you admit, your voice almost trembling. “Scared that if I let myself… I’ll want you completely, and then what?”
He tilts his head, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
“Then, want me completely,” he whispers. “I’m not running this time.”
For the first time in what feels like years, you let yourself meet his gaze fully. Vulnerability, fear, desire, and longing flicker in both your eyes.
“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you admit softly.
“Then we take it slow. Step by step. I’ll wait. I’ll do whatever it takes to have you back.”
His words wrap around you like a warm blanket, and you press your forehead against his, heart pounding like crazy inside your chest. This man has caused so much heartbreak, and you hate yourself for letting him do whatever he wants with your heart.
Slowly, your lips brush against his again, and you let yourself feel every heartbeat, every ounce of desire that has been building since that first kiss under the rain.
Your hands grip again his coat, tugging him closer, and he responds immediately, one arm sliding around your waist, the other cupping your cheek. The kiss deepens, messy and raw, but also tender—every emotion you’ve kept locked away finally pouring into this single, shattering moment.
You break away just slightly, resting your forehead against his, breathing in the warmth and closeness, letting yourself savor it.
“I…” you whisper.
He presses a gentle kiss to your temple, then your lips again, soft but insistent, like he’s saying: “I’m right here, and I won’t let go. Not this time.”
And for the first time in years, you let yourself believe it, letting the past pain mingle with this new, fragile hope that maybe, they can find their way back to each other.
The past week has honestly been the only week where nothing tragic happens—or should you say that it’s been the only week where you’ve been able to bear with Jungkook’s presence.
Nothing has really happened over the past week. No kisses, no hugs, no tears, no harsh words, and no hate. It was simply peaceful. Nevertheless, you kept working with Jungkook on those songs you hadn’t finished.
None of the boys said anything about how things have been a rollercoaster between you two, and you were grateful for it. But there were some days you’d feel anxious, too scared that Noah might say something. You aren’t prepared to have a conversation with him about your rocky relationship with his best friend.
The boys have also recorded most of your songs, and the final result is honestly mind-blowing. Their voices fit so well together. The songs sound a hundred times better with their voices and the arrangements of Namjoon.
As they told you previously, they refused to record ‘Miss You’ because it is your and Jungkook’s song, but after much thinking, you’ve agreed to having it released as it is. It is honestly so strange to think that your voice will be on their album.
The writer who became a singer for a song.
On top of that, since your voice will be on their album and some of your songs will make it to the final product, you’ll be earning a bit from it all.
A couple of days ago, you informed your manager about it, after she originally called you to ask when you’ll start working on your next book, and she made you promise that you’ll fight for your rights because nobody works for free.
Honestly, she’s the best. It wouldn’t have been possible to survive the craziness of the last years without her. Becoming a best-selling author is no joke. But you love it. Writing is the best thing that has happened to you. It’s freeing. You stop being yourself when you write, and the world around you disappears.
Funnily, you can’t write without a song in the background. The sounds around you become overwhelming, and you can’t focus on what you are doing. It’s like music calms your agitated brain. Noah always asks you how on earth you do it, but it’s just your way of working.
And yeah, you also listen to the songs written by Jungkook while working, especially when you need to write heartbreaking scenes. They are a wonder whenever you need to focus on sad parts. But in general, the songs of your brother’s band inspire you a lot.
“Joonie, why can’t you just tell us who you’re texting? You’ve been smiling like an idiot since we’re here,” Jimin says with a bright smile on his face.
“He’s not wrong,” your brother adds.
“It’s none of your business, guys.”
Since you’re very intrigued to know who the lucky person is, you intervene. “Won’t you even tell me?” you literally pout.
“That’s not fair,” Namjoon points out. “You can’t look at me like that.”
A proud smile shows up on your face, knowing you’ve won. With these boys, you get absolutely whatever you want. You simply have to ask, not even beg, and they’ll hand it to you without even thinking twice about it. That’s the perk of being Noah’s little sister.
“Fine,” he gives up. “There’s this girl I met right before we came, and I’ve been enjoying talking to her.”
“Oooooh, our Joonie is in love,” Taehyung dramatically says.
“I’m not in love,” Joonie claps back. “I’m just enjoying her company.”
“You can admit you have a crush on her,” Jungkook says. “Nobody is going to judge you.”
That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever heard. These seven boys will highly judge and tease their leader because they like it. And this dynamic between them is one that you adore. They met when they were around twenty, even younger for some of them, and have been inseparable since then.
They fight sometimes, which is normal when you spend most of your days with the same people, but they always end up resolving their issues—a normal thing between brothers. Through Noah, you won six extra brothers you can also bother whenever you want. And then, there’s Jungkook, who’s far from being a brother to you.
“Really?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “You’re all going to say shit about me liking a woman.”
“That’s not true,” Jimin replies. “We all respect our super leader.”
Namjoon’s face is so funny. He’s not buying the shit Jimin and Jungkook are saying. Out of all of them, those two are the worst when it comes to teasing. They know no limit and drive the others absolutely crazy.
“Well, can’t wait for you to start dating someone,” he says.
The day Jimin dates someone, the world is ending. The word ‘fuckboy’ was invented for him. He fucks whoever wants him to, and it’s incredible to see him in action—he becomes the biggest flirt on earth. The fact that the band is quite well-known also helps; he has literally everybody at his feet, begging for his attention.
“That’s not happening,” he claps back, his face instantly becoming serious.
Jimin has stated more than once that he refuses to settle with someone because he doesn’t believe in love. He says that it isn’t for him, even though he roots for his friends’ happiness in the love department.
“Let’s see,” Namjoon says.
“But we weren’t talking about me,” Jimin tries to shift the conversation back to Namjoon’s growing love story. “We were talking about you and your little crush.”
“You’re not going to meet her any time soon, if that’s what you want to know.”
Jimin dramatically rolls his eyes, and you can’t help but laugh. Those boys are just incredible. You feel fortunate enough to spend these moments with them, and even though this writing retreat didn’t start really well, you’re sure its ending will be a lot better. Things are already much better.
“You’re not fun, Joonie,” Jimin retorts.
“And I’m leaving,” the leader of the band announces as he leaves the kitchen.
Slowly, everybody starts to head back to their room as it is already late and they need to wake up early tomorrow. Their manager is coming to see what they’ve been doing for the past five weeks. Some other people are coming as well, but you can’t remember who they are or why they’ll be here.
When you reach your room, you find Jungkook in front of his. A smile stretches across his soft features when his eyes land on you.
“Tomorrow you’ll be here?” he asks. “Or will you be visiting around?”
“I wanted to leave, but Noah told me it’s better if I’m here since your team will be listening to our song.”
That thought makes you nervous. As soon as their manager and the other people hear ‘Miss You’, everything will become real. People outside The Devil Lovers members will be listening to your voice. They will hear what you create with Jungkook. And that’s unsettling, but you knew what you were getting into when you accepted having it in their album.
“Yeah, it’s best,” he nods. “Jinwoo will probably make you sign tons of paperwork.”
You don’t doubt it, but you would have preferred not to be around when they listen to ‘Miss You’.
“Hopefully, not too much,” you chuckle, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “My manager encouraged me, though, to fight for my rights, and to make the most money out of it.”
Jungkook chuckles, shaking his head. “She’s right,” he says. “But you’ve got Noah, so he’ll definitely fight like it’s for himself.”
For a split second, he doesn’t say anything, only looking you dead in the eye.
“And you have me as well.”
Your heart stops instantly, not expecting to hear this. Your eyes look down at your feet, hidden under Christmas-themed socks, the ones you constantly wear, even outside the Christmas period. You wiggle your toes, trying to hide the effect his words have on you.
Knowing he’ll make sure you win as much as possible from this collab with The Devil Lovers warms your heart.
“Thanks.”
Jungkook steps closer, his fingers resting under your chin to slowly lift your face. His soft gaze falls on yours, your heartbeat already all over the place. The last time you were this close was last week when you kissed twice.
“I meant it when I said I’ll do everything to win you back,” he confesses. “And that starts with helping you out, earning as much as possible from helping us and collaborating with us.”
“Money isn’t necessarily what I need,” you admit. “I already made enough with the books.”
“I don’t doubt it, but as your manager said, it’s in your rights.”
You nod, and before you realize what’s going on, he’s crashing his lips on yours, kissing like a desperate and craved man. It takes you like a second to kiss him back, too surprised by it. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer, while yours wrap around his neck.
This is comforting, especially after the intense five weeks.
Your twenty-one-year-old and heartbroken self wouldn’t believe you if you said you’d be kissing Jungkook once again. She’d probably curse at you for even letting him do it again, calling you a traitor. But fuck, it feels fucking great.
“We should go to bed,” Jungkook whispers against your lips. “Tomorrow will be intense.”
You break the kiss, stepping back to properly look at him. For a moment, you allow yourself to look at the man standing in front of you. His face screams tiredness, which only makes sense after how hard he’s been working. He has barely been sleeping.
But his eyes shine so bright, it almost looks like they are some stars that have fallen from the sky. His beauty is breathtaking, even more now that things have changed between you. He isn’t the guy who broke your heart anymore. He’s the one who is trying to mend it.
You nod before saying, “Yeah, we should. Sleep well, Jungkook.”
“I will,” he smiles, but you notice that he’s hesitating to say something else, so you kind of encourage him through a small smile. “I definitely will sleep well to the thought of you.”
Fuck, how can he be so sweet right now? Where’s the man who would clap back with the harshest words? Where’s the man who let you hate him?
His words give you the courage to say, “I will think about you, too.”
His lips crash against yours once more before you both go back to your respective rooms, happier than ever.
The full executive and productive team from the record house is currently listening to the songs the band has been working on for almost six weeks now. Obviously, since you wrote some of them, you’re also present in the improvised studio, in the annex. They are all serious, not saying a word.
Namjoon presents all the songs written, even though they currently have like thirty or forty songs. It takes like ages for them to listen to all of them, and you bite your nails with nervousness, waiting for ‘Miss You’ to play.
The boys have decided to put it last since it is sung by only one member and someone external to the band, but it only makes you extra nervous. The fact that they are expressionless when your and Jungkook’s songs are playing is already too much to handle.
Nevertheless, the second your and Jungkook’s voices echo in the room as the first notes of ‘Miss You’ play, they all appear surprised. Their manager looks instantly at you, which unsettles you even more. He frowns, and you don’t really know how to interpret that.
Noah holds your hand, squeezing it in a way to comfort you, but nothing can relax you right now.
When the song ends, the entire team and the manager look at you and the boys. Can you just die right now? You’ve never been this nervous before, not even before sending your books to the editor.
“This is promising,” a guy says.
“Might need some reworking for some of them,” another one adds. “But everything sounds great.”
“We would then need to decide which ones will make it to the album,” Jinwoo announces.
“There is one we’re certain we want in the album,” your brother announces. “The last one, ‘Miss You’, is non-negotiable.”
Their manager seems to think, his eyes going from you to the boys. He’s already fully aware that you help them write some songs, and you’ll be credited no matter what, unless they end up not choosing any of your songs. But he wasn’t aware of ‘Miss You’. The boys wanted to surprise him.
“Okay,” he ends up saying. “Hope you know what you’re embarking on,” he says to you.
You nod, fully aware that the moment this song is out, people will want to know who you are. It stresses you a bit out because you’re scared people might end up connecting you to your writing’s name. Normally, with your real name, nobody can find out.
“As long as it doesn’t end up being linked to my books, I don’t care,” you admit.
“Noah already told me you want to be credited under your real name, so it should be fine,” he explains.
You nod once more. Obviously, it’s useless to say that you won’t give any performance; otherwise, everyone will know, and you’re also absolutely scared to be singing in front of a crowd full of people. You’re already extremely nervous about having people hear you sing, and let’s keep it that way.
They all start talking about the next steps. After this retreat, they’ll gather to check which songs will be released, and might as well rework some of them. Jinwoo tells you that the lawyers will prepare all the legal documents for your involvement, and he’ll contact you once everything is ready.
You’ll be granted fifteen percent of the royalties of each song you wrote, if they are released. And for ‘Miss You’, since there is only you and Jungkook involved in all aspects—singing, writing, and producing—it’ll be twenty-five percent. Apparently, the label takes half of each song as they are the publisher, which leaves the other half to be split between you and Jungkook.
Anyway, once you receive the legal docs, you’ll go over them with Wendy. This is too much legal blabla that you don’t really master, and she’s a specialist in agreements. She’ll be able to spot any weird things and make sure you’ll have the right percentages.
When your presence isn’t needed anymore, you leave them, but you remain outside. You sit on a bench, looking at the view the garden gives you of the mountains around the house. This looks like a postcard, but it’s even prettier when seen with your own eyes. Even though this retreat has been a hell of an emotional rollercoaster, you don’t regret coming.
Building songs from scratch was an incredible experience, and it disconnected you from the pressure of writing a book. It also inspired you a lot. Every night, before going to sleep, you’d write little ideas here and there in your notebook. And you might actually already have the main idea for your next book.
After a while, everybody leaves the annex for lunch. Jinwoo called a super chef to prepare a feast for fifteen people. Since you’re in the middle of nowhere, finding a good restaurant that would welcome fifteen people is almost impossible. Also, they have the money to hire a chef.
The discussions at the table are animated, work long forgotten. You talk with one of the executive team—a guy super important at the label, and who you didn’t know up until today—and he’s actually super nice. He’s absolutely astonished when you reveal your writer identity, and he literally begs for a picture and an autograph for his sister, who’s a big fan of yours.
From time to time, your gaze ends up on Jungkook, and to your surprise, he’s already looking at you. This reminds you of the stolen glance five years ago. It genuinely warms your heart.
When lunch is over, which is around 5 PM, the executive and productive team leaves with The Devil Lovers’ manager. And somehow—it’s still not very clear how—you end up being alone with Jungkook in the house.
The second you’re both alone, his mouth crashes into yours, devouring you in an ardent kiss. His tongue meets yours inside your mouth, and slowly, this kiss takes a heated turn, clearly showing how desperate you both are. While still kissing, you both walk to his room, leaving no room for interpretation about what is about to happen.
Do you want it? Absolutely.
Once inside, he closes the door, presses you against the wall next to it, and keeps kissing you so fervently and passionately. His hands rest on your waist, pulling you closer and squeezing you. Your hands, on the other side, tug at his hair.
When you break the kiss, you’re both out of breath, panting heavily. None of you moves as if you’re scared to shatter the moment.
“We can stop here if you want,” Jungkook whispers, his thumbs caressing your skin over your shirt.
You shake your head, “I don’t want to. Just promise me you won’t be running—”
“Yn,” the way he says your name sends shivers down your spine. “I’m not going anywhere unless you don’t want me in your life.”
Your hands move down to his neck before your fingers lock around him, pushing him against you. You press a gentle and soft kiss on his lips.
“I really want you,” you confess, “but I’m still scared you’d leave me.”
One of his hands tugs a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll spend the rest of my life compensating for all the pain I put you through.”
You kiss him once more, overwhelmed with the weight of his words. Who would have thought you’d end up here with him?
“I’m not leaving you anymore, trouble,” he murmurs against your lips.
His lips find yours again for a kiss filled with emotions you don’t dare to speak out loud.
You let your love for each other consume you like it should have always been.
Those past five years feel like a complete waste of time; you could have been doing this instead of screaming at him. But deep down, this moment feels even better, more intense because of all the hate you once felt for him.
This time, his hand slips under your shirt to caress your bare skin. The cold sensation of his fingers against your hot skin makes you moan—one that he swallows instantly with his mouth. He presses you further against the wall, his knee positioning itself between your legs as his tongue plays with yours. You’re both so fucking desperate.
Your lips are parting, panting as you catch your breath before he kisses your lips again. Your nails dig into his neck as the pleasure courses through you, thighs clenching around his thigh as he presses it higher up.
This man is absolutely addictive, and you don’t want to let go of him. Ever.
While his lips never leave yours, he lifts you up, which makes you gasp. Your hand holds his jaw as you kiss him desperately, and your legs wrap around his waist. His tongue is warm in your mouth as he leads you to the bed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says while lying you on the bed.
A smile grows on your face as your cheeks burn on the inside. Him complimenting you makes you shy, but it feels so good at the same time.
Jungkook wastes no time in lifting your legs to remove your pants and panties, tossing them somewhere on the floor. He pushes your legs apart, pupils completely blown while you’re still trying to recover from the intense make-out.
“Fuck, you’re already wet,” he groans while his eyes never leave your exposed pussy.
His thumb comes down and rubs through your soaked folds; your hips jerk in surprise. “Jungkook,” you moan.
“Damn,” he whispers, his gaze now meeting yours, “I love the way you moan my name. Might need to record it.”
Your eyes widen. “What for?”
“To hear it when you’re not around,” Jungkook instantly replies.
You hide your face behind your hands, which makes him chuckle. The simple thought that he wants to hear you moan when you’re not together is such a turn-on that it makes you feel ashamed.
“Don’t be shy, trouble,” his free hand—the one not torturing your folds—tries to push your hands away from your face.
“It’s just weird,” you admit as your hands are brushed aside.
“Me jerking off to you? Or the fact that I want to record you?”
Your mortified expression makes him chuckle. Where can you hide yourself away from him?
“Trouble,” he whispers while he leans down, his breath brushing against your face, “I’ve already jerked off to the thought of you a loooot of times. That wouldn’t be new.”
“How can you admit that so confidently?” you ask.
“Because I’ve nothing to lose now,” he kisses you again before his teeth graze your lower lip. “Now, I actually even know how my name sounds on your lips.”
Without wasting more time, his lips move down on your body to seal around your sensitive bundle of nerves. A strangled gasp escapes your mouth, and your eyes look down at the man pleasuring you. He’s eating you out like a starving man.
Your hands reach for his black hair to tug it, your hips bucking forward to push his face closer. His mouth works you over with hunger, tongue perfectly torturing you, while his lips seal around your clit. His nose presses into you, dragging against your cunt with each movement.
Your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy every second of his mouth on your pussy. You throw your head back while moans flow out of your mouth. With every flick of his tongue, you feel the coil begin to wind up, and your body trembles beneath his relentless tongue.
A satisfied hum vibrates against you, sending shocks through your core. “Oh, Jungkook,” you moan.
By instinct, your legs try to close around him, but his hands wrap around your thighs to push them even more apart. Before you even realize it, your orgasm violently hits you, your legs shaking, and your walls clenching around emptiness.
Even though you’re coming hard against his lips, Jungkook doesn’t stop lapping at your juices falling all over his tongue.
Jungkook barely gives you the time to recover that he’s pushing a finger inside, his thumb pressing against your clit. A strangled moan directly leaves your lips before you moan his name for the zillionth time.
“Too much,” you tap against his hand resting on your thigh.
His eyes look up at you, pupils fully dilated. This Jungkook is literally the dead of you; he looks so fuckable and hot.
“We need to stretch you out before,” he tells you.
Slowly, he adds a second finger, his gaze locked on you while he licks his lips. Your moans get louder, and you’re thankful right now that the boys left, especially your brother. You’ll die if he ever hears you having sex with someone. It’s just awkward.
His torture with his fingers makes you come the second he adds a third finger. Nobody ever made you come twice this fast. His tongue and finger technique are on point. And you don’t even want to imagine how it will be the second his manhood is inside you.
Your legs are trembling as he pulls his fingers out, popping them in his mouth to suck them clean. “You taste so good, trouble.”
Jungkook takes your shirt and your bra off, tossing them aside before he stands up to remove his shirt. You choke on your own saliva when your eyes meet his toned torso. Fuck, he’s even better than you imagined. His abs are sculpted to perfection, and you finally get to see the full arm covered in tattoos. It’s hot.
He unbuckles his jeans and pushes them down in one quick motion, pushing his boxers down as well. His cock instantly springs out, slapping against his abs. Your pupils dilate at the sight, especially when he smears the precum that collects around his tip. When you look up at him, you’re graced with his dark eyes filled with lust.
“I don’t have a condom,” he tells you with a hoarse voice. “It wasn’t really in my plans to have sex during this writing retreat.”
You nod; you also didn’t think this would happen, but here you are, lying in his bed with him standing next to you, fully naked.
“I’m clean,” he adds as he notices the hesitation in your face, and hearing him say that is an absolute relief.
Even though you’re using a contraceptive right now, it doesn’t protect you from any sexually transmitted disease. And you don’t know what this man has been doing for the past five years.
“I’m clean too,” you tell him, “and I also use a contraceptive vaginal ring.”
Jungkook nods before he climbs on the bed again and rests between your legs. His lips find yours again, and he rocks his cock through your folds, collecting your wetness to coat his length. You’re humming in delight against his lips.
His lips move down to kiss your jaw, shoulder, and collarbones, and he stops right above your breasts. His teeth sink in as he presses the tip to your entrance. Slowly, he pushes his tip in. A deep and guttural moan breaks through. You’re clenching around him while he continues to push inside.
Jungkook crashes his lips into yours, and he doesn’t even let you adjust to his size before he plants his knees into the bed to start thrusting into you. You can feel every vein and ridge of his thick cock inside you.
“Fuck, trouble,” he grunts against your lips while your nails dig into his shoulders, trying to find something to hold onto.
His hips snap against you, grunting in your ear every time you unintentionally clench around him.
“It feels so good,” you whine, back arching as he continues his relentless pace.
The room quickly gets filled with the slick sound of your moans, the headboard hitting the wall, and your bodies slapping together. The heat builds in your core as he slams into you, filling you completely with each thrust.
Your hands grip his shoulders as hard as possible to steady yourself from Jungkook’s hard thrusts, but it only makes him groan against your ear even more. His lips meet yours for a sloppy kiss while his thrusts grow rougher and quicker.
The familiar coil of pleasure tightens in your stomach while he moans your name. Hearing him say your name this way feels wonderful. Jungkook seems just like you, completely consumed and overwhelmed with pleasure.
“I’m not going to last much longer,” you say with desperation filling your voice.
His cock twitches inside you, and well, that simple action makes you orgasm for the third time today. When your orgasm hits you completely and violently, your walls squeeze him tightly. Jungkook groans when he feels your wall clenching around his cock.
His thrusts get more desperate as he chases his own high. You can tell that he’s so close when he flutters his eyes shut. Your walls keep tightening around him because of your own orgasm, but it’s obvious that it is an absolute torture for him.
“Fuck,” he groans.
And then, with one last thrust, he falls apart. Deep groans fall from his lips as he releases his hot semen inside you. His hands tighten around your waist, holding you still while he releases himself. He looks incredibly sexy when the orgasm hits him.
Before you can even do or say anything, he says with heavy breathing, “On your knees, trouble.”
Since your mind is completely clouded by the hot and steamy sex you’re having, you follow his instructions. You press your chest against the bed while you push your ass in the air. His hands instantly stroke your ass cheek.
Your heart is hammering in your chest, while his fingers are back to teasing your folds. “You have no idea how beautiful you are,” he whispers.
He gently removes his fingers before you look behind you, admiring the singer of The Devil Lovers. He rubs his shaft along your folds, little moans leaving your lips as you close your eyes. And then, in one smooth stroke, he pushes into you. Your cry is instant, fingers clawing at the sheets as he bottoms out.
For a moment, he doesn’t move, as if he’s giving you both some time to recover. Before you can even comprehend, he slowly starts to thrust into you. At first, he goes slow and deep, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. Moans leave both your lips as pleasure consumes you both. This feels marvelous.
His thrusts slowly become more brutal, which makes you jolt forward, your breasts rubbing against the sheets with every bounce. The wet sounds between you are unforgivable, together with the loud moans leaving your lips.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from this,” he mutters. “Between your sweet moans, your fucking addictive pussy, and your pretty body, I don’t know what’s driving me crazier.”
Well, honestly, he’s the one driving you completely crazy. He’s the one with his dick buried deep inside you.
“It feels so so good,” you manage to say.
Then, Jungkook shows no mercy to you. His thrusts are absolutely wild, deep, and brutal, but you wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Next time, I’m definitely recording you,” he grunts. “Need to hear you on repeat while on tour and far from you.”
Your fingers twist in the sheets as a shiver runs through you. Fuck, the only thought of him jerking off to the recording of you two having sex turns you on beyond comprehension. His hand slides to your hip, gripping hard before pushing your back against him.
“Next time?” you ask.
“Yeah, trouble,” he says out of breath. “I can’t let go of you, especially not after this.”
His pace turns downright ruthless. Your eyes roll back, the pleasure slowly becoming overwhelming. He presses his chest against your back, his tongue licking the inside of your ear. This catches you by surprise, which makes you moan louder.
“You’re so loud, trouble,” he whispers against your ear. You’re a complete moaning mess by now. “I hope none of the boys is back. We don’t want them hearing how I’m fucking you,” he adds.
You definitely don’t want that for many reasons. They like to tease each other, and if they have an excuse to tease Jungkook, they’ll seize it. And this would be the greatest opportunity ever, but it’ll mortify you instantly.
Then, the second and most important reason is your brother hearing you moan as Jungkook literally destroys you. You won’t ever be able to face him.
“I hope too,” you say in between moans. “Don’t want Noah to hear this.”
He chuckles, and you’re not sure what’s funny here. He slaps your ass, making you moan even louder. By now, you’re convinced that he definitely wants the boys to hear what’s going on here. He’s doing everything to make you moan louder and louder. He goes deeper, his hips meeting your ass with a loud slap that echoes in the room.
Jungkook grips your hips tight and fucks you rough and fast now. He doesn’t show any mercy to you. He’s driving into you so hard that it makes you see stars. The two of you are reaching your orgasm; you can feel it. Your legs are shaking, your moans are completely out of control, while his thrusts are sloppy and deep.
One of his hands slowly goes down on your body, landing on your throbbing clit. His fingers start to rub your sensitive spot as his cock keeps slamming roughly inside you. His fingers on your clit make you explode intensely, and you come hard around him. Your walls squeeze him over and over again while you come all over him.
Your orgasm pushes his out of him, his cum coating your walls. His loud groans echo in the room as he continues thrusting inside you to push his leaking cum as deep as possible inside you. His orgasm definitely hits him hard since your name is rolling off his tongue like it’s a prayer.
Once his balls are fully drained, he takes his dick out of you, his cum instantly leaking from your pounded out pussy. You whimper when he gently fingers it back inside you, scooping it up and massaging your clit with it, making you cry with overstimulation.
His fingers show you no mercy, thrusting like he hasn’t fucked the shit out of you with his cock seconds ago. In a matter of seconds, your legs are completely trembling.
“Too much…” you pant, your hands trying to push his fingers away, but he taps your hand.
It seems like he absolutely doesn’t care that he’s overstimulating because he doesn’t stop. And just like that, you’re coming again over his seed-slicked fingers. A smile grows on his face, noticing that he made you orgasm for the fifth time.
You both collapse on the bed with heavy breathing. Jungkook rests next to you while his hand strokes your back. “How are you feeling?” his eyes scan your face.
“Dead,” you admit. “Nobody ever pulled five orgasms out of me that fast.”
He chuckles. “Glad I’m the first.”
You shake your head before pressing your face against his chest, his arms wrapping automatically around you. The rhythm of his heartbeat slowly rocks you to sleep. This sex session with him has drained your energy.
“Yn,” he whispers against your hair. “Let me just grab a towel to clean you up.”
Your eyes follow as he puts his underwear back on to leave the room. He reappears seconds later with a towel. You whimper as he’s gently cleaning your legs and pussy. Once he’s done with you, he pushes his boxer down to clean his softened length.
Jungkook throws the towel somewhere in the room before getting back in bed with you. His hands place the sheets over your bodies, his arms wrapping once more around your body while you fall asleep against his chest.
Luckily for you, the intense, intimate moment you shared with Jungkook wasn’t heard by any of the boys, but when they came back, you were sleeping peacefully in his bed, so they understood straightaway what had happened.
Needless to say that Noah made a disgusting face, and the boys teased you two until the end of the retreat. It was weird to be in a place where you could coexist with Jungkook without feeling the need to strangle him. It was even weirder to fall asleep in his arms, kiss him like you always wanted, and just love him.
You wished you could go back in time and tell your younger self that things will eventually get better. For sure, you’re still afraid to have your heart broken by him, but you’re ready to give him a chance. You’re ready to give love a chance.
And yeah, ‘Miss You’ was a total success—one of the best songs of the album. But beyond that, this song carries a special place in your heart because it’s the song that brought you and Jungkook closer all over again.
This song isn’t just about missing someone you love; it’s about two people who madly fell in love and made the promise never to let go.
“Every memory, every heartbeat,
Leads me back to you.
I don’t know if I should love you…
But God, I miss you.”
⤷ meeting jungkook at yoongi’s birthday was unexpected, but in less than twenty-four hours, he made you feel more alive than you have in years. letting him into your life felt just natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple. as you slowly get to know him, you find yourself trusting him more… but should you really? or is he hiding something from you?
— pairing: jungkook x fem. reader
— genre: strangers to lovers, ceo au, biker au, slow burn, angst, fluff, and smut
— rating: 18+
— words: 24,418
— warnings: alcohol consumption, kind of tipsy, jungkook can’t keep his eyes off our girl, mention of divorce, nervousness, mention of grief, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, mention of loneliness, some awkwardness, swearing, teasing, mention of crying, a kind of little argument, they’re both stubborn, kind of self sabotage, mention of masturbation, mention of death, lots of kissing, fingering, protected sex, penetrative sex, good old missionary, and multiple orgasms
— author’s note: soooo, this fic’s idea popped up really randomly and i simply started writing it 😊 this fic is honestly pure softness, but also messy at the same time. the point here is to depict someone who struggles with love after spending sooo long by herself, and she falls for someone who lets her guide the pace… biker jungkook had to be part of this, of course! this fic isn’t made to be perfect, it’s actually the opposite. honestly, i hope you all find a jungkook like this one in your lives 💖 wanted to aslo tell you that this fic will be fully written from oc's perspective, and there aren't any glimpses of jungkook's thoughts. also, special shoutout to @kooppss for her support!! she got to see this fic being written and how it changed 😅 hope you’ll enjoy it my loves 💖
SERIES MASTERLIST | PART II
The night is slowly settling, the sky taking on shades of red as the blue gets darker. For a brief moment, your eyes look up, a smile stretching on your face. The sky is beautiful tonight.
Right now, you’re waiting for your best friend outside the restaurant, as you agreed with her some hours ago. While you do so, a handsome man catches your attention. His eyes meet yours for a hot second before he steps inside the restaurant.
“Yn,” someone screams.
A bright smile grows on your face as you look to your right. Hyunri, your best friend, has finally arrived.
“Hyunri,” you say before holding her in your arms.
Tonight, you’re gathering to celebrate Yoongi’s birthday. Juhee, his wife and your best friend, has pulled out this little dinner to celebrate his 40th birthday. Anyone else would have probably asked for a big celebration, but it’s not his style. He prefers intimate dinners filled with loved ones.
“Did you wait long?” she asks when you break apart.
“No,” you reply. “Maybe a minute.”
She smiles at you. It’s been a while since you last saw her, which only heightened how much you missed her. She studied with you before you worked in the same company for a while, and last year she quit. Since then, you haven’t been seeing each other that much even though you speak every day.
Before she even gets the chance to do or say anything else, you grab her hand to take a proper look at her wedding ring. Her boyfriend proposed two days ago in the most romantic and beautiful way.
“Let me see the beauty,” you tell her.
Your eyes sparkle with joy. Hyunri deserves all the happiness in the world. She’s kind of crazy, but for sure, a woman with a big heart. No matter what, you can count on her. She’d even commit a crime for you if you ever asked.
“Woow,” you say. “It’s even prettier than in the pictures.”
“I know, right?” she asks while moving her hand to make the diamond sparkle.
“Must have cost a lot,” you say.
“But I deserve expensive shit,” she says.
You chuckle, but she’s right. She does deserve that.
“Right,” you shake your head while smiling even more.
Nothing has been decided just yet, but they’re planning on getting married next summer. They have more than a year to get everything settled. Honestly, you can’t wait for their big day. You know it’ll be mindblowing and extravagant like she is.
“Now, let’s get inside before Juhee kills us,” you tell her.
She giggles as the two of you head inside. The restaurant seems absolutely fancy—the type of place where the meal's presentation looks better than a painting. But it’s a once-in-a-while experience.
“Hello,” the host greets you once inside.
“Hello, we’re here for Min Yoongi’s birthday,” Hyunri says.
Your best friend is the social butterfly. The two of you are total opposites, like the moon and the sun. Nonetheless, you’re quite the duo. A lot of times, you wonder how on earth the two of you get along, but then you realize how much you complete each other, and your friendship just makes sense.
“Yes,” he offers you a bright smile. “Follow me.”
The man guides you to the huge terrace in the back, which basically looks like a garden. There is a rather long table placed on one side, and you recognize Juhee and Yoongi at the center. A bright smile grows on your face when you see them. Both you and Hyunri head to them, not paying any attention to the other people around the table.
“Happy birthday, Yoongi,” you and Hyunri tell him as you step up to him.
He stands up immediately, pulling you both into a warm hug before stepping back with an easy smile and thanking you for the warm wishes.
It’s genuinely great to see him again. He’s always been kind, and you’re glad you met him through Juhee. They definitely make a great couple; they just fit perfectly together. Sometimes, if you’re honest, you feel a tiny flicker of envy.
“Thanks, girls,” he says with a bright smile, gesturing toward the table. “Sit wherever you want.”
For the first time, you take a proper look at the table. Your eyes move across the guests, scanning the empty seats. Then, to your surprise, you see the handsome guy from outside. Now that he’s closer to you, he seems even prettier. Is it even possible?
You’re not sure if it’s destiny or a pure coincidence, but the only two remaining seats are the ones in front of him.
She just sits down while talking to Yoongi, completely unbothered, which leaves you right across from the handsome guy. You pull your chair back, placing your bag down by your feet before finally looking up.
He’s already watching you.
For a brief second, you meet his eyes without flinching. There’s a flicker of recognition there, and then, slowly, the corner of his mouth lifts. His gaze is intense on you, and it’s honestly hard to simply look back at him.
You glance around the table, trying to avoid his gaze and looking for the bottle of wine. You’ll definitely need it to survive the night if you’re going to have the handsome stranger in front of you.
When you find it, you just pick it up and fill your glass. While Hyunri is still deep in conversation with Yoongi, you fill her glass as well. It’s no secret that she adores wine. She could drown in it if she could.
“Thanks,” she murmurs when she notices it.
“No problem,” you reply.
You don’t look back right away. You let the conversation around you settle, letting yourself blend into the rhythm of the table. You need some time and courage to interact with people. It usually drains your soul, so you definitely need some time before engaging with people around you.
When you lift your gaze again, he’s still looking at you. This time, you don’t look away as quickly. You bring the glass of wine to your lips, never looking away, and this moment is long enough to notice the way his gaze doesn’t waver, and how he doesn’t seems worried about being caught. It’s like he’s even happy that you noticed it.
Then, he looks away first. You blink and let out a quiet breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
Conversation starts to settle around you—people picking up threads, asking questions, passing drinks down the table. The man next to you, Hoseok, starts to talk to you as well. He’s an absolute ray of sunshine, always throwing jokes.
But no matter what, your attention keeps slipping back to the hot stranger. It’s like your body knows you’re being watched and you need to catch it. It’s never obvious, but it’s frequent enough that you start noticing a pattern. A glance when you laugh. Another one when you speak.
“Okay,” Hyunri murmurs after a while, leaning just enough for her shoulder to brush yours.
“What?” you ask with evident curiosity, your gaze looking at the plate in front of you.
“The guy in front of you,” she continues, “he keeps looking at you.”
You let out a small and dismissive huff. “No, he doesn’t.”
“Oh, he does,” she replies.
You shake your head, reaching for your glass. The fact that she noticed how frequently he looks at you makes you feel a bit uncomfortable and shy.
“You’re imagining things,” you dismiss her once again before taking a sip of wine.
The second you glance up again, there he is, looking at you. You don’t drop your gaze immediately. You hold it for a beat before finally looking away.
Her lips stretch into a smile, but you shake your head. The smug smile on her face almost makes you laugh. Any chance she gets, she tries to patch you up with someone. If she could, she’d make you date the entire world. You know it comes from a good place, but you’re just so introverted.
“Shut up,” you say, nudging her lightly under the table.
She instantly giggles, definitely enjoying herself.
“And he’s definitely hot,” she adds.
“Hyunri,” you warn her. “Don’t.”
“I’m just saying,” she replies. “He’s into you, and you should try talking to him.”
You look away, avoiding both her and his gazes. This is so strange, and it doesn’t really make you comfortable. Of course, it feels good to have a man looking at you so intently, but you’re not used to it. It hasn’t happened a lot in the past four years.
“Please,” she literally begs.
You take a deep breath before saying, “Okay, I’ll try.”
She smiles widely with happiness, and it warms your heart. You know you’ll have to interact with him at least once; otherwise, she’ll end up annoying you for the rest of your life.
The evening stretches on, the energy softening as food and drinks are being served and conversations split into smaller groups. At some point, Hoseok turns toward you with an easy smile.
“How do you know Yoongi?” he asks.
You turn slightly toward him. “Through his wife, Juhee. We were coworkers.”
“Oh really?”
You nod. “She had started dating him when I joined the company, so I got the whole Juhee-Yoongi package straight away.”
He chuckles while shaking his head.
“Yeah, they’re quite the couple.”
“And you?”
He starts explaining how he met Yoongi years ago, together with a certain Jungkook. They were neighbors when they were younger. Their moms were close friends, and the three of them always hung out together. They still do it today. You carefully listen to him, not bothering to ask who the third guy is.
For a moment, you even forget the man in front of you. You’re so deep in the conversation with Hoseok, and you're more than glad to learn a bit more about Yoongi. You’ve only known him as an adult, and it seems so weird to discover who he was as a kid and teenager.
Hoseok then starts to explain how he ever found out about Juhee. His story is very similar to what she told you, but you’re hearing Yoongi's side, which is more than interesting. They were roommates, he was in a relationship, and she was in love with him.
“Even if he didn’t want to admit it, Yoongi was so into Juhee.”
The voice comes from across the table, cutting gently into the conversation. You look up. It’s him. He’s leaning forward just slightly now, his attention fully directed at you.
“Yeah,” Hoseok adds. “He was always talking about her when he was still dating this Jennifer.”
Juhee always makes fun of Yoongi for having dated this Swedish girl for a while. She likes to say that he wanted to try something exotic just to poke him, and he really goes with it. He’s totally in love with his wife, which you find absolutely adorable.
“And how did he react when she confessed to him?” you ask with curiosity.
Your best friend told you that after two years of being roommates, she finally confessed to him, but he totally dismissed her as he was still with this Jennifer.
“Oh man,” Hoseok laughs.
A hint of amusement flashes in the eyes of the guy in front of you. “He panicked.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Really?”
“He came to my place, totally freacking out because he didn’t know what to do. He clearly wasn’t in love with Jennifer, but knew how down bad he was for Juhee.”
“Jungkook told him to break up with Jennifer,” Hoseok begins.
“But he clearly didn’t listen to me,” the man in front of you finishes.
So, he’s the famous Jungkook, which makes sense. He wouldn’t have randomly jumped into your conversation.
“Seems like he eventually did,” you add.
Jungkook sincerely smiles before saying, “Because I kept repeating it every day.”
You chuckle, your gaze deep into his. Hoseok glances between the two of you, smiling slightly as if he’s picked up on something.
“I’m glad he listened to you,” you reply. “I wouldn’t have met him if he didn’t.”
Everything would have been so different, but you know that eventually, Yoongi and Juhee would have found their way to each other. They were roommates and madly in love.
There’s a brief pause, but it’s not awkward at all.
You’re both looking at each other, as if the world around had completely vanished. Hoseok then continues talking, but you don’t really listen anymore, too captivated by Jungkook. Eventually, you glance away, focusing on the conversation about how everything started between your best friend and her husband.
Jungkook ends up asking if you were at their wedding, which you weren’t. Your sister was getting married a day before in Italy, and you couldn’t make it to Juhee and Yoongi’s marriage. It saddened you back then, but it’s fine. They never resented you for that, and they showed you all the wedding’s pictures, which made it feel like you were there with them.
As the night keeps going, you talk with everyone around you and keep drinking wine. At some point, you can clearly feel the effect of the alcohol in your system, but you don’t really care. You’re not driving tonight. However, you’re clearly conscious that you need to slow down. Otherwise, you’ll get wasted before the end of the party.
The huge cake with the candles arrives, and you celebrate Yoongi’s birthday. He seems genuinely happy, and it fills your heart that he wanted you to be present at this special day for him. For a brief moment, your eyes meet Jungkook’s, and an odd warmth spreads throughout your body.
Right after eating the cake, Hyunri has to leave and makes you promise that you’ll let her know once you’re home. You’re left alone, but honestly, it doesn’t worry or scare you at all. Hoseok has proven himself to be a great company, together with Jungkook. The three of you talked a lot, and you have to admit that they’re funny.
Jungkook’s constant gaze on you makes you feel more and more desirable, and you wish the night would never stop.
By the time the night starts winding down, the terrace feels different. People are slowly leaving in small groups, chair scraping softly, and goodbyes stretching longer than they need to. When almost everybody has left the restaurant, you decide to do the same. It’s already late, and you should probably go back home.
You say your goodbyes to Yoongi and Juhee, thanking them again for the invitation. She tells you that you should definitely organize something sometime. Outside work, you haven’t seen each other in a while, and you also miss their daughter, Bora, whom you consider your niece. You absolutely need to organize something.
Somehow, without really planning it, you end up outside with Jungkook.
The night air is cooler now, brushing against you as you see everybody splitting and leaving. For a second, it’s just the two of you standing there. He glances at you, hands slipping casually into his jacket, but you don’t dare to look back at him; your gaze is on the building standing in front of you.
“How are you getting home?”
The question catches you a bit off guard, making you finally look at him. With his jacket on, he looks even more like sin. This man looks way too good.
“By taxi,” you say. “Or I’ll check if there’s still any bus running.”
He nods once, like he expected that answer, and you decide to pull your phone out of your handbag. Then, after a brief pause, he tilts his head slightly.
“I can drop you off, if you want,” he proposes, his eyes still glued on you.
It takes you a couple of seconds to process what he just said. Your eyes meet his once more while you lock your phone.
“You have a car?” you ask.
He shakes his head before he gestures behind him. You follow his gaze, and under the streetlight, a bike is parked. It’s honestly a very beautiful one, but you haven’t really seen many bikes in your life. They never really caught your attention whenever you’d see one.
“Oh.”
You look back at him, your gaze taking in the man standing next to you. Jungkook being a biker totally makes sense, and it definitely matches his aura. In fact, the opposite would have surprised you.
You should probably say no—that would be the most reasonable thing to do. This man is a total stranger to you, and on top of that, you’ve never been on a bike. It clearly sounds dangerous. And also, being on a bike clearly doesn’t sound like the best option, as you’re clearly under the influence of alcohol. You could throw up at any given moment.
But instead, you hear yourself ask, “You always offer rides to people you just met?”
His lips stretch in a smile, his little dimples appearing on his cute face.
“Only the ones I end up talking to at Yoongi’s birthday,” he simply says.
Before you can overthink it, you simply nod.
The two of you walk to the bike in pure silence, but his heavy presence next to you doesn’t go unnoticed. It feels strangely intimate to be alone with him after the way he looked at you all night.
Once you’re standing next to it, Jungkook takes two helmets out from what look like cases attached to the engine. He hands you one that you take with a certain hesitation, his fingers brushing yours for the briefest second.
“Ever been on one?” he asks. You shake your head, and it’s answer enough for him. He rests his helmet on the bike before taking yours from your hands. “Let me help you out then,” he says.
With the gentlest movements, he pushes your hair back, the touch of his fingers on you sending shivers down your spine. He’s so gentle with you right now. Once he’s happy with the result, he places the helmet over your head and pushes it down. By reflex, your hands catch the bottom.
A proud smile grows on his face, and his eyes glow with something you can’t quite name. It’s like he’s proud to see you wearing a helmet. After that, your little handbag is put in his backpack as it clearly doesn’t sound logical to keep it in hand while he drives through the city. The only request he has as for you to carry it and he reassures you that he isn’t heavy.
When he hands it to you, your fingers brush his, and he even helps you to adjust it on your back. For a second, your eyes get lost in the sight in front of you. The big ass man is helping you out with such a simple thing. He’s definitely a very thoughtful person.
Then, in a couple of seconds, his helmet is on his head. After that, he asks you to put your address on his phone. The thought of him knowing where you live thrills you somehow. The hot guy from Yoongi’s party will know your address.
“Alright,” he says. “Just hold onto me, and lean with me when we turn, okay?”
After spending the entire night sharing looks, you’ll be very close to him, like body to body. Never in your life have you ever been that close with a stranger. It’s kind of scary and exciting at the same time, but you can’t back up now. You already agreed to this.
You nod like that’s completely normal, but it’s not. He climbs first and holds out his hand to you. With a bit of hesitation, you take his hand and climb behind him. It’s a little awkward at first, and you adjust your position until you feel somewhat stable. The seat is narrower than you expected.
Jungkook never once looks away from you, making sure that you’re all set and ready. He’s so close to you, and your heart is beating way too fast with nervousness. Being in a bike with a random guy makes you a bit nervous. If anything bad happens, you could get very badly injured.
“Don’t worry, okay?” he asks you.
Somehow, you trust him enough to believe you’re safe with him. If your parents ever found out that you’ve been on a bike, they’ll kill you. They are very old-fashioned and convinced that every biker dies on the road, which you don’t believe.
For a second, you hesitate, hands hovering uncertainly, and then, you place them on him. You’re absolutely unsure of where you’re allowed to place them, so they rest against his sides. Maybe this is the right way to hold onto a biker. You don’t know.
“You can hold tighter,” he says over his shoulder.
There’s something about the way he says it that makes your hesitation fade just a little. And so you do as he says. Your arms slide around him, your hands settling against his torso, and you feel immediately the solid warmth of him under your palms. His body is definitely toned.
Your breath catches. This man seems like a surprise box, and it feels like they keep coming. You’re unsure of what could happen next, but you wouldn’t mind finding out more about him.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
Your heart thuds in your chest, ready to leave at any moment. As if he’s feeling it, he grabs one of your fingers and gently taps it against his torso.
“If there’s anything, you can tap like this against me, okay?” he tells you.
“Okay.”
“I’ll be careful,” he adds.
You simply nod, even though you know he’s not going to see it. The engine starts beneath you, and you feel it everywhere—through the seat, through your legs, through the way your body is now pressed against his. And then, you’re moving. At first, it’s slow and careful as the bike eases into the street. You look around, taking in the houses and the people walking around.
But as soon as he picks up speed, everything changes.
The wind hits you, rushing past your body and pulling at your clothes. Instinctively, you tighten your hold on him, your body reacting before your mind can catch up. And instead of pulling away—like you would have done under any other circumstances—you lean in closer.
Your chest is now fully pressed against his back, your arms fully wrapped around him, and your eyes are closed as if you’re too scared. You can feel the steady rhythm of his breathing, the subtle shifts of his body as he moves, while he guides the bike with an ease that makes you trust him without thinking about it.
When you wrap yourself tighter around him, his hand brushes against yours in a comforting way. He’s trying somehow to reassure you, and it’s definitely working because you’re slowly opening your eyes again. From this perspective, the city looks different. Everything moves faster, and the lights feel brighter around you.
And as it appears in movies, being on a bike makes you feel more alive. It’s an indescribable feeling, but a welcome one.
Every time he turns, your body follows his naturally. Your body mirrors everything he does, which is normal with the way you’re clinging to him. You try not to hold onto him too tight, too scared to hurt him, while he guides you both through the city.
Honestly, you could get used to this.
Between the rush of the wind, the warmth of his body, and the quiet thrill sitting low in your chest, you realize you’re smiling.
At some point, the streets start to look familiar as you recognize the corner near your place, the small café that’s always closed too early, and the building across from yours. You almost wish you weren’t reaching your place.
The bike slows down, gradually at first, then more noticeably. The rush of wind softens into something gentler, and the city comes back into focus around you.
Then, he stops right in front of your building.
For a second, neither of you moves. The engine is still running beneath you, vibrating softly like the night hasn’t fully settled yet. Your arms are still around him, and your body is still close to his. Slowly, you become aware of it, and heat rushes through your body.
You loosen your grip, your hands lingering just a fraction longer than necessary before you pull them back. Jungkook doesn’t move, letting you do as you wish. You climb off the bike, your feet finding the ground as the world feels slightly steadier.
Jungkook cuts the engine, and silence falls into place.
You take off the helmet, running a hand through your hair, trying to fix it in a way that probably doesn’t make much difference. Your heart is still beating a little faster than usual, and your body is still holding onto the echo of the ride. It’s like you can still feel your body moving.
“Thanks,” you say, as you block the helmet under your arm. “That was really nice.”
Jungkook lifts the visor of his helmet to look at you. He doesn’t seem like himself when only his eyes are visible. It makes him look innocent, which you truly believe he isn’t.
“I’m glad you agreed to this,” he replies.
You nod, a small smile forming. “Yeah, me too.”
You’re standing close. Closer than you would be with someone you just met, but you’re close enough to notice the details again. His expression shifts slightly when he looks at you, his gaze not rushing away. This right here—his intense gaze on you, and him on a bike with a helmet on—makes your mind race crazily.
You never knew you were into bikers…
You glance toward your building to escape him and calm down your thoughts before looking back at him. Neither of you moves to leave.
“So…” you start, then stop. “I guess it’s time to go home.”
“Yeah,” he says, but he doesn’t sound like he’s in a hurry to go.
A silence stretches between you, but it’s not awkward. It’s like something is waiting to happen, but neither of you is quite ready to be the first to move.
Your fingers wrap tighter around the helmet, your heart beating way too fast in your chest. Jungkook shifts his weight just slightly, his gaze flicking briefly to your lips before returning to your eyes. It’s subtle, but not enough to notice. Your breath catches just for a second, and the air suddenly feels thicker.
You know that if you close the gap between you, you’ll let him do whatever he wants with you, which isn’t a great idea. You’re tipsy, and he’s a total stranger—who knows what he might do if you let him. So, before you start doing something stupid and silly, you take the backpack out to retrieve your own bag.
“This is yours,” you tell him.
Jungkook nods, grabbing the bag and putting it on his back.
“Can I have your phone?” he asks, which makes you frown.
Even though his question confuses you, you still hand it out to him. He types something, and seconds later, his phone starts ringing.
“Now you have my number if you ever want to get a ride again,” he says.
“Thanks,” you say as you get your phone back.
Without truly realizing it, you’re now very close to each other, and his eyes never look away from you. It’s still unsettling, but god, if you could, you’d let him do it for the rest of your life. You love the way he looks at you, even if it is too intense sometimes.
“Goodnight,” he says softly.
“Goodnight,” you repeat.
Neither of you moves right away, and you don’t want this night to finish just yet. It’s for sure one you’ll never forget. This simple ride was enough to make the night memorable, but Yoongi’s birthday party was just as amazing. This was definitely a good evening.
“I’ll see you around?” he asks.
It’s not quite a question, you know it. You smile, still feeling the echo of everything—the ride, the closeness.
“Yeah,” you say. “You will.”
He nods and then starts the bike again, the sound breaking the quiet, and within seconds, he’s pulling away and disappearing down the street. You stay there for a moment longer than you need to, replaying tonight’s events as if you need time to process everything that happened before getting inside.
Your mind can’t help but think about the way he looked at you, the way you held onto him, and the way the ride felt. You exhale softly, a small and involuntary smile appearing on your face.
As the cold air raises goosebumps all over your body, you decide to get inside. It’s time to go to bed, and you know already that tomorrow you’ll be completely dead. When you get older, it becomes harder to deal with the aftermath of a late night filled with alcohol. Thankfully, tomorrow is Sunday, which means a lot of rest.
When the door closes behind you, the silence that follows feels louder than it should. For a moment, you just stand there in the hallway, keys still in your hand. There’s a lingering warmth in your chest that doesn’t quite fade.
When you’re about to unlock your phone, you notice that his helmet is still in your hands. “Shit,” you whisper to yourself. You stare at it for a second, confused at first, but then it clicks. You never gave it back, too absorbed by his beauty.
You set it down on the kitchen counter and sit on a chair, running a hand through your hair as the whole ride replays itself again—his voice, the steady way he drove, and the way he said ‘goodnight’ like it wasn’t quite final.
You quickly send a message to Hyunri, letting her know you safely made it home. Then, a notification appears. There’s a new message.
jungkook 🏍️: you stole my helmet
You stare at the screen for a second, a smile returning on your lips. You can’t help but notice that he added a little bike next to his name, and it does something to your little heart.
you: not on purpose
The typing bubble appears almost immediately.
jungkook 🏍️: yeah, sure…
For a brief second, you don’t know whether he’s mad about it or not, so you try to think about what you could eventually reply. But before you can even type anything, another message comes through.
jungkook 🏍️: you didn’t need to steal my helmet to get another free ride 😊
jungkook 🏍️: you can simply ask
That makes you smile more than expected. You settle back on the chair, the helmet resting on the counter beside you, and it’s the proof of tonight’s wild turn.
you: i’m definitely going to ask for another ride 👀
Your heart is beating super fast in your chest. Jungkook makes you feel a certain way—one that you haven’t felt in years, and honestly, you don’t ever want it to stop.
jungkook 🏍️: i can give you another free ride when i pick it up tomorrow
Your entire body freezes when you read his message. He’s literally suggesting seeing you again tomorrow, and you’ve barely just said goodbye. Maybe Hyunri was right when she said that he liked you.
jungkook 🏍️: unless you’re planning to keep it
You feel yourself getting way too bold as you type your answer.
you: maybe
At that instant, your best friend sends you a thank-you message, telling you she’s glad you made it home safely. When she discovers who drops you off, she’ll go insane. In the end, you did more than talk with him. She’ll be proud of you, you’re sure of it.
jungkook 🏍️: do you intend on asking for more rides? 🤔
Well, you definitely would love to repeat this more often, but you can’t just say it now. You met him like five hours ago.
you: if you ever propose, i wouldn’t say no 😊
jungkook 🏍️: we’ll have to check about that tomorrow if you ever give me back my helmet
The silly smile on your face doesn’t fade away. This conversation with him feels incredible.
you: okay, so see you tomorrow then 😊
jungkook 🏍️: yes
The three dots appear and remain for a while before another message drops.
jungkook 🏍️: goodnight, yn
And this right here melts your heart. Not only because it’s a sweet message, but also because you can hear him say it, as he did minutes ago.
you: goodnight, jungkook
And just like that, you go to bed with the silliest smile on your face.
“Are we in a parallel universe?” Hyunri’s voice echoes in your apartment through your phone’s speakers. “What has happened to my best friend?”
Her words make you giggle. As always, she’s exaggerating everything, which only makes you roll your eyes.
“Why are you exaggerating like that?” you ask as you eat your breakfast.
Honestly, this morning you craved chocolate cereals, and you know it’s mostly due to the amount of alcohol you had last night. Always after getting drunk, you find yourself craving chocolate. On top of that, you’re also having a cup of coffee to help you out with the hangover. The aftermath of a night out at thirty doesn’t hit the same way as in your twenties.
“I’m not!!” she almost screams. “Wait, let me add Juhee.”
“Ri, no,” you tell her, but she doesn’t listen, of course, and adds your best friend.
“Hi guuuuuuurls,” Ju screams when she picks up the call. “How are you doing?” She seems full of energy, which makes you smile, even though you know that in a couple of minutes, you wouldn’t be smiling anymore, as they will be talking and raising too many questions related to Jungkook.
“I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the party,” Hyunri says.
“Why?” Juhee asks. “Did something happen?”
Is there any point in talking? No. Hyunri is going to say it anyway, and you’ll have to listen to them ranting about you as if you weren’t there.
“Our super friend here managed to get a hot babe’s number,” she teases.
“Don’t call him ‘hot babe’, it’s weird,” you tell her.
“What?” Juhee says. “How?”
You want to chuckle because her reaction is funny, but it’s best not to react at all.
“I’m still trying to figure it out, but as you can imagine, yn hasn’t said much.”
You roll your eyes for the millionth time since she called you. “Let me eat in peace,” you simply reply.
“We don’t care about that,” Juhee says. “We want details!”
Now you giggle before your eyes flutter shut for a moment. Souvenirs from last night flow through your mind. Jungkook seems to be the only thing your mind can even focus on at this moment.
“You actually know him,” you reveal. “It’s one of Yoongi’s closest friends. It’s Jungkook.”
“You should have seen the way he was always looking at her,” Hyunri continues without even letting you or Juhee speak. “He’s really into her.”
Your best friend seems very into what happened yesterday.
“Now, the best part was after the party…” she continues.
Thank god that it’s not a video call, otherwise she’d see the way you constantly roll your eyes. She’s definitely exaggerating everything. It’s like it’s the event of the year when there’s not really much to say.
“Wait…” Juhee then cuts Hyunri off. “Jungkook?”
Juhee must know tons of things about him, and most probably, she knows him well since he’s a close friend of Yoongi with Hoseok—based on what you found out yesterday.
“Yeah,” you simply reply.
Her reaction kind of surprises you. Is there something wrong with him?
“Is there anything we should know about him?”
Your heart is now beating super fast, too scared to hear something you wouldn’t like. For sure, whatever she says will impact the way you’ll see him, and in a couple of hours, you’ll be spending some time with him. Hopefully, she doesn’t have anything bad to say.
“Well…” she begins before pausing for a second. “Not sure if I’m supposed to be the one saying it, but he divorced like a year ago, and apparently, it’s been rough for him since then.”
Somehow, it’s not surprising that he was married, especially considering how thoughtful he was. And on top of that, he’s good-looking, so it mustn’t be difficult for him to find someone.
“What happened?” Hyunri asks with curiosity.
“Yoongi doesn’t speak much about it, nor does Jungkook, but from what I understood, they simply grew apart,” she explains. “But now, back to what happened yesterday, I want to know everything. Yoongi will be happy when I tell him about this.”
A smile spread across your face as you imagine your best friend telling her husband about this. “After the party, he dropped me off with his bike,” you summarize yesterday’s events.
“Annnnnd?” Hyunri tries to push you to reveal more.
“It was cool,” you say. “I’ve never been on a bike, so it was cool to live the experience.”
“You’re annoying, yn,” Juhee says. “We want to know more than that.”
“Fine,” you take a very deep breath. “He gave me his number, and I’m seeing him again today.”
Both girls scream with happiness on the other side of the phone, clearly trying to make you deaf. They really are unbelievable. However, their reaction definitely makes you happy because you know they’ve always been supportive of you. And now, they’ll definitely do everything they can to encourage you to see Jungkook as often as possible.
“I should have introduced you to him years ago!” Juhee says with enthusiasm.
“Well, if he was married, it wouldn’t have changed anything,” you reply.
“Yeah, right… He was indeed already taken,” she seems kind of defeated. “Still, now, you’ve got to meet him, and you can’t do anything stupid to ruin this.”
“He’s definitely into you, yn,” Hyunri continues. “You need to seize the opportunity.”
Honestly, you’re not really sure you’re ready for anything related to relationships. You’ve been on your own for four years, and the simple thought of dating someone scares the hell out of you. Jungkook seems like a nice guy and looks good, but what if he realizes that he doesn’t like you? What if he realizes you simply look good?
“I don’t know…” you admit.
Being single all these years wasn’t in your plans, but life happened. In between sickness, grief, and heartbreak, you gave yourself some time to breathe. Dating was the last thing on your mind, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t try to give it a shot.
Two years ago, you tried tinder, but it was a total mess. It overwhelmed you after two days, and you deleted your profile. You gave it a second chance three months ago, but it ended up with the same result.
The conclusion was that dating apps aren’t for you.
Being on your own never scared you, but sometimes, loneliness can be suffocating—like really suffocating. Those nights, tears get the best of you. Being alone isn’t easy all the time; however, you have to admit that it brings you peace, and you actually love it.
Juhee and Hyunri are worried you’d spend the rest of your life alone. You’re thirty and very much single. For a while, you totally ignored them because you didn’t give a shit about it all. But now, with this Jungkook, it feels a bit different.
“Look, I know you’re scared, but just go with the flow with Jungkook. Don’t overthink, just enjoy yourself. If it doesn’t work, then that’s it, but don’t try to push him away if he keeps coming back, okay?”
It seems easy for her to say. She isn’t the one struggling with relationships. She’s been with Yoongi for seven years, married for two years, and had a baby girl one year ago. She found her soulmate while you’re still trying to figure things out in your life.
“Okay,” you say.
For now, you just have to focus on when he shows up at your door in a couple of hours to retrieve his helmet. Probably nothing will happen, and maybe he’ll leave in two minutes. Maybe he’s not into you, as Hyunri likes to repeat.
“Now, have you planned something for when you see each other again?” Hyunri asks.
“No,” you reply instantly. “He’s just going to pick up his helmet.”
“His helmet?” Juhee asks.
“Yeah, I accidentally stole it yesterday.”
“Ooooh, our girl was so charmed that she stole something…” Hyunri teases you.
She’s not wrong, but you’re absolutely not going to admit it just yet.
“This is awkward, Ri,” you tell her.
“Okay,” Juhee intervenes. “It’s a good thing, though. You get to see him again.”
For sure, you’re going to see him, but you’re not sure how it’ll go. Probably nothing will happen.
“I might have said that I’d like to get on his bike again,” you confess.
“Girl, please beg for that ride today,” Hyunri literally begs you.
“We’ll see,” you reply. “He’s probably just going to take the helmet and leave straight after.”
“Yn…” Juhee exhales. “Don’t let him leave right after. Speak a bit with him and absolutely ask for that ride.”
You take a deep breath. You’d like to go for another ride, but would it even be appropriate if he’s coming to pick up the helmet? He said yesterday that he’ll see when he comes today, but what if he changed his mind?
Suddenly, you receive a notification from him. Your heartbeat increases drastically, and you remain silent as your friends keep talking.
jungkook 🏍️: hi yn ✨ is it okay if i come in one hour?
For a minute, you look at the message without knowing what to say or even to think.
“Yn?” Juhee says, bringing you back down on earth.
“Sorry,” you reply. “He just texted me.”
It feels like you’re in a parallel universe. Everything that has been happening since last night feels absolutely unreal.
“What did he say?” Hyunri asks with curiosity.
“He’s asking if he can come in an hour.”
“And you’re going to say yes,” Juhee tells you.
It’s not even a question. She’s saying it, and you don’t have much of a choice.
“Yes,” you confirm.
you: hi jungkook, yes it’s fine ✨
His reply comes seconds later, as if he was waiting for your answer.
jungkook 🏍️: perfect! see you
“Girls, I’ll have to leave then,” you tell them. “I need to clean my place, it’s a complete mess!”
“Okay, but you keep us updated,” Hyunri makes you promise.
“Yes, I will.”
An hour later, the doorbell rings in your apartment, and your heart starts racing. Your eyes quickly dart around, checking if your place looks presentable. In the mirror of the entrance, you quickly check your reflection to make sure you look presentable.
Following your friends’ advice, you’ve chosen a simple but not too casual outfit. So, you’ve opted for a fitted black top that hugs your frame, the neckline dipping just enough to soften the look without trying too hard. You paired your top with jeans sitting high on your waist, perfectly fitted at the hips before falling straight down your legs. And on top of that, you put on a thin belt that pulls everything together.
You’re kind of satisfied with the outfit, but somehow, it feels like your top is a bit too much. However, now that Jungkook rings at your door, you can’t back out and change.
When you look at the videophone, his strong figure captivates your full attention, and you can’t help but smile. He’s opted for a full black outfit that suits him incredibly well. He’s wearing a tight shirt under a large jacket and tucked into his jeans. In his left hand, he holds his helmet.
“Hi, Jungkook,” you speak through the interphone. “It’s the fifth floor.”
“Thanks,” he says as you open the entrance door through a button on the interphone.
You take a very deep breath, trying to calm your beating heart and your racing thoughts. “He’s just here to pick up the helmet, nothing more,” you try to convince yourself. Deep down, you wish he’s not here just for that. Deep down, you hope he’ll propose to do something. Deep down, you simply want to be around him.
A loud knock against your door brings you back to reality, and without much hesitation, you open the door. Your breath is completely taken away when he stands tall in front of you. He looks even better than yesterday, if it was even possible.
His lips stretch into a bright smile before he says, “Hi, yn.”
“Hi, Jungkook,” you say, smiling as well. “Come inside.”
You step back to let him in, and he doesn’t waste a second before getting inside your place. Jungkook looks around, discovering every corner of the apartment’s entrance. You don’t own a big place because you can’t afford anything bigger, but one thing you’re proud of is the fact that this is yours. You bought this with your own money.
He turns around, his intense gaze now on you. That part hasn’t changed since last night. He still looks at you in a way that makes your tummy twist. You really want to hold his gaze, but you just can’t.
So you look around, searching for the helmet. “Let me just grab the helmet.”
Jungkook frowns. “If you didn’t want my presence here, you could have just said it,” he begins. “I could have waited at the entrance.”
You tilt your head, trying to understand what he’s saying, and when you do, you feel guilty. You’re so awkward that you want to slap your face so badly.
“It’s not that,” you say, shaking your head.
You pause, trying to think of the right way to express yourself, even though you know you’ve already made a mess in like a second.
“I just…”
It feels like you can’t even express yourself, while he’s just waiting for an answer. For sure, after this, he’ll run away and never come back. This is more than over. You don’t even dare to look at him, too scared of what you might see in his eyes.
“I just thought you were here for it,” you finally say, slowly looking back at him.
To your surprise, you see a sly smile on his face, and even if his stare is still intense, it doesn’t feel threatening.
“I wouldn’t be here if it were just for the helmet,” he replies.
“Oh.”
Well, his reply leaves you speechless. He’s implying that he’s here for you, not to retrieve the helmet, and that does things to you. You’re not sure you can remember the last time a man said he wanted to spend time with you, except for the brief times you were on tinder. So, that doesn’t count at all.
“Do you want to drink or eat something, then?” you proceed to ask.
His smile grows bigger as he nods. “Where can I put this?” he shows his helmet.
“Follow me,” you tell him.
Jungkook does as you say, and you guide him to the living room. When he sees the stolen helmet, he instantly understands he needs to place his right next to it.
“You can sit on the couch while I bring some things,” you say with a little smile.
The man nods as you disappear into the kitchen, take some juice from the fridge, and pick up a few biscuits. You come back with all of that and take two glasses from the sideboard.
“This is all I have,” you show him.
“It’s enough,” he smiles. “I really like this orange juice. My favourite.”
His words reassure you.
“I can do coffee if you want,” you propose as well.
“No, no, this is fine,” he replies.
You nod, and the two of you start eating some of the biscuits you have. Those are lactose-free because, unfortunately, your body decided it was damn time you stopped tolerating lactose. In all honesty, this is horrible. The only positive side is that you now know what you're eating, since you always have to read the ingredients.
“Your place is cute,” he finally breaks the silence.
“Thanks,” you reply. “I bought it two years ago, and it’s slowly starting to look like something.”
He chuckles, his fingers placing a chocolate biscuit in his mouth, and you can’t help but drool over this simple action. Fuck, he looks way too hot without even trying.
“So you live alone?” he asks, as if he’s making sure nobody will show up unexpectedly.
“Yes.”
You’re not sure if it’s a good idea to let a stranger know you live by yourself—we never know what might happen. But, somehow, with him, you feel like you’re safe.
“No man is going to show up?”
Your cheeks instantly heat as you realize he’s trying to check if you’re single or not. “Are you trying to ask if I’m single?” you ask without thinking.
“Maybe,” he says, a cheeky smirk appearing on his face.
He’s going to be the death of you. There’s no way you’re going to survive him if he starts acting like that around you.
“Well, if you don’t ask it clearly, I can’t give you an answer,” you decide to tease him back.
If he wants to know, he’ll have to say it loud and clear. Jungkook chuckles before you hear him say, “Are you single?”
Heath instantly spreads through your body as you hear him say it.
“Maybe,” you keep teasing him.
He shakes his head, picking up another biscuit. Why did you even agree to meet him today? He looks way too good, and you don’t even know how to deal with him. Somehow, teasing him is the only way to do it.
“Mmm,” he says. “Is it a yes?”
You decide to nod, “I have been for a while.”
You don’t really know where you found the courage to say it, but maybe the fact that you feel comfortable enough with him can explain it. Suddenly, his face gets dangerously close, his gaze glued on yours. The strong scent of his cologne wraps around you, and you swear that you can feel your soul leaving your body.
“It’s hard to believe it,” he then says.
His words take you off guard.
“Why?” you frown.
“Someone like you can’t possibly be single for long,” he replies.
Your body heat keeps increasing while your heart simply decides to abandon you. Jungkook can’t possibly say things like that. You chuckle, not believing a word. “Is that what you say to all women?”
“No,” he says simply.
The way he says it—calm and without hesitation—makes you shiver. His answer actually surprises you because you weren’t expecting him to reply with ‘no’ so simply.
“I’m sure a guy like you doesn’t have trouble meeting women,” you say.
Even if your friend told you it was hard for him after his divorce, you’re absolutely convinced he managed to flirt—and maybe do even more—with stunning women. You’re not saying you’re ugly; it’s far from that, but you’re sure that he has seen tons of pretty women.
“A guy like me?” he raises an eyebrow.
You’re not even sure what you’re supposed to reply, but you know he understands what you mean. He’s just trying to push you to say it out loud.
“You know what I mean,” you then reply.
Jungkook watches you for a second, his face still too close to yours. A sly smile grows on his face, and your heart just drops right there and then.
“Yeah,” he says. “But it doesn’t mean I’m interested in all of them.”
His answer flusters you. Jungkook is quite straightforward, and you haven’t met a man like him before. It’s unsettling, but at the same time, impressive. As you don’t know what to reply to that, you change the topic of the conversation completely: “I believe you promised me another ride on your bike.”
As you say it out loud, it absolutely sounds dirty. You’re so fucking awkward… He’s going to think you want to go wild with him when it’s absolutely not the case. You press your lips together, trying to suppress the urge to cringe.
Jungkook doesn’t react right away, but for the first time, he looks away. It is as if he needs some time to process what you just said.
“I did,” he then replies calmly. “And we can go whenever you want.”
His eyes meet yours again, and you bite the corner of your lower lip as you think of the place you’d like to go. You’re not sure it’d be right to suggest it because it’s tied to heavy and strong emotions.
“There’s a place I used to go to,” you admit.
You don’t look at him when you continue. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve wanted to go there, but you were too scared to go alone. Using this bike ride seems like the perfect excuse.
“I haven’t been there in a while.”
You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on you. Somehow, it feels like you have forgotten how he spent last night constantly looking at you. It’s like he can’t look away, and it’s sometimes unsettling.
“I’d like to go back there,” you say, finally looking at him to see his reaction.
Nothing has changed; it’s like he’s a statue. He’s simply looking at you with that unreadable expression. Jungkook doesn’t ask questions, just nods, “Okay,” he ends up saying. “Let me know when you want to go, then.”
“Can we go now?” you dare to ask.
Again, he simply nods. The two of you stand up at the same time, and you notice a little smile on his face. He looks cute when there’s no smirk or sly smile on his face.
Back on his bike, your arms wrap around him while he drives, and you feel alive all over again. A stupid smile stretches across your face as he guides you both through the city. You didn’t think you’d be back on the bike this soon, but god, you’re definitely not going to complain.
At a red light, he looks back, his hand falling on top of yours. “You’re doing okay?”
“Yes,” you try to scream, making sure he can hear you.
“Good,” he says, his head looking back at the road.
His fingers stroking your hands warm your body in an unexplainable way, and you can’t help but wrap yourself tighter around him. Right now, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He’s made you feel a lot in less than a day, and even if you don’t ever see him again, you’d cherish those moments forever.
When the light turns green, he starts the engine. You look around, enjoying how the city becomes a blur all over again. The bike zigzags between the cars at a fast speed, giving the impression that they are barely moving. Your body moves with his as he drives you around. It’s honestly impressive.
At some point, you rest your head against his back and close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind running through your body. This is so unique. This time around, having your body pressed against his doesn’t scare you. It’s actually the opposite.
Jungkook slows down as you reach the destination, your eyes opening when he speaks. “Can I park here?”
“Yeah, should be fine,” you reply.
He completely stops the engine on a little spot, and you climb off the bike. The street is almost empty, as it was the case when you used to come years ago. The two of you remove the helmets once you put your feet on the floor.
Jungkook’s gaze lands on you, and you don’t look away. His fingers quickly run through his hair to arrange it. This man is so effortlessly good-looking.
“We just need to walk a bit,” you tell him.
He nods as you guide him through the houses and down the street to your secret spot. Four years ago, when you were walking around with an aching heart, you discovered this spot with the prettiest view of the city. You’ve come here tons of times, but over time, you stopped coming.
When you reach it, you halt, and he stands next to you. The view is still breathtaking. A smile forms on your lips. Before you can realize it, your eyes meet the man next to you. For the first time, he isn’t looking at you, but at the city.
“This is a pretty spot,” he admits before looking at you.
“It is,” you say while holding his gaze.
Your hand grabs his gloved one, guiding him to the railing placed a bit further. His hand wraps around you, which honestly creates goosebumps on your body, but you simply ignore it. Once there, you don’t let go of his hand just yet.
“How did you discover this?” he asks, his eyes moving between you and the city. “This is really hidden.”
“The story behind it isn’t the most joyful,” you admit.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel like it,” he tells you.
You let go of his hand, put your elbows on the railing, and place your head in your hands. The helmet hangs on your arm while your eyes simply take in the sight before you. Somehow, being here doesn’t overwhelm you as you thought it’d be. It actually eases your mind.
“I lost my best friend to cancer around the time my ex-boyfriend broke up with me,” you confess, not looking once at him.
Revealing the truth feels easy when the person next to you is a complete stranger. He can’t judge you, and even if he does, you can simply walk away.
“The pain was suffocating,” you explain. “And I’d walk around the city for hours to empty my mind. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work,” you try to chuckle, but only a weird noise escapes your mouth. “One day, I stumbled upon this spot and kept coming because the noise in my head and the lump in my throat would calm down for a minute in here.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he tells you.
“Thanks,” you reply. “It’s been four years, but it feels like it was yesterday.”
You can tell that his eyes are on you, not in the city, but you don’t care. It feels good to say this to someone who isn’t Juhee or Hyunri.
“I understand,” he confesses. “Losing someone isn’t easy.”
It isn’t. Grief never leaves you; you simply learn how to live with it, but there are times when everything comes back with more intensity. In those moments, you’re brought back in time, and everything becomes unbearable all over again.
“I hadn’t come here in years, but it’s good to be back,” you admit.
“Thanks for telling me all of this,” he tells you. “And I’m happy you brought us here. It’s very beautiful.”
A small silence settles between you after his words, but it’s not heavy nor awkward. It’s just there as if you both need to proceed with everything you just shared with him. You nod slightly, your gaze still fixed on the city.
The wind brushes lightly against your skin, and without thinking, you pull your jacket a little closer around you. Jungkook steps just slightly closer, not enough to invade your space, but enough to shield you from the breeze. It’s subtle, but you notice it.
“You don’t talk about it much, do you?” he asks quietly behind you.
You shake your head. “Not really.”
The pain that comes with revealing this is always too much, but with Jungkook, it seems easy. It’s not overwhelming, nor painful. It’s just peaceful, especially with the view in front of you.
You finally turn your head to look at him. There’s something different in his expression. It’s softer—as if he can totally understand you and your feelings. It leaves you wondering if he also lost someone.
You hesitate, but then ask, “Have you lost someone too?”
He exhales quietly, his gaze drifting to the city behind you. “Yeah,” he says after a beat.
Jungkook doesn’t elaborate, and you don’t push. He has the right not to tell you everything right away. As he said, losing someone isn’t easy, and most probably, he doesn’t feel like sharing with you what he went through. Nevertheless, you’re here if he ever wants to speak.
He moves to stand next to you again, his shoulder brushing against yours. You don’t move away, nor does he. This feels right.
“I used to come here alone,” you say. “I never thought I’d ever bring someone.”
Jungkook glances at you, and you do the same. Your heart misses a beat when you notice the way he looks at you. It isn’t intense, it’s just soft and filled with feelings. Nobody ever looked at you like that.
“I’ll take this as a good sign,” he says.
You huff a quiet laugh. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
His lips curve faintly. “Too late.”
You shake your head before looking back at the city. Another silence stretches between you, and neither of you tries to break it. It just feels good. Being here after all this time feels refreshing because things are different now.
You’ve overcome the heartbreak your ex-boyfriend caused, and the grief isn’t as suffocating as it was. You now know how to live with it, even though you still cry over the loss of your first friend. Lucas would be proud of you; he wouldn’t have wanted you to cry for years.
“Whenever you want to leave, let me know,” he says.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay a little longer,” you tell him.
Jungkook simply nods, and you remain here for a couple more minutes. When the wind becomes too cold, he places his jacket around your shoulders. You mumble a simple ‘thanks’ as you let his warm wrap around you.
No matter what the future holds for you, the simple fact that a man came with you here and showed nothing but support will forever be engraved in your heart. There aren’t many men left like him. He doesn’t question or push you to open up to him. He’s just there, and you only met him last night. What will it be like in a couple of weeks or even months if he stays around?
When you tell him you feel ready to leave, he just brings the two of you back to his bike. No one really speaks, but there’s no need to. You give him back his jacket so he doesn’t get cold while he drives—you’d feel really bad about it.
Like he did yesterday, he stops in front of your building complex. This time around, he climbs off his bike as well. When you open the case on the back to put the helmet back inside, he places his hand on top of yours.
“Keep it,” he says.
His fingers tug a strand of hair behind your ear, as if he’s trying to rearrange it. You let him do as he wishes, your eyes glued on his. Your heart is beating way too fast in your chest, ready to burst at any moment.
“You might need it again,” he whispers.
Clearly, he wants to see you again, and you’re not really sure if you’re ready for that. However, the voices of Hyunri and Juhee echo in your head. You should try not to let him go just yet.
“You’re sure?” you ask.
Your question isn’t about keeping the helmet. It’s about checking if he truly wants to stay around.
“I am,” he replies with the softest voice. “But if you don’t want—”
“I want to,” you cut him off.
Not pushing him away isn’t going to be easy, but there’s one thing you’re sure of. You love being around him. And you don’t want to let him go.
For the past two weeks, you’ve been speaking nonstop with Jungkook. Everything seems easy with him. You don’t struggle to open up; he actually silently encourages you. He doesn’t say it, but always mentions that you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.
Juhee and Hyunri have been excited about this whole thing with Jungkook. Juhee even speaks about it with Yoongi—you found out that Jungkook has been talking about you with Yoongi, but she refuses to let you know what they’ve been talking about. However, with the way she’s been encouraging you, you can deduce that it’s been positive.
Tonight, he’s picking you up for an outing. The only thing you know is that you’re going to a restaurant for dinner. Honestly, that doesn’t say much, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to dress.
If you follow your friends’ advice, you’d be dressing like a whore, and it’s not necessarily the impression you want to give him. You’ve been enjoying what’s been going on between you without the need to go freaky.
What you’ve discovered is that Jungkook is the type of man you introduce to your parents. Not the type to have one-night stands. For sure, he’s hot as hell, but beyond his looks, there’s a heart made of gold.
You’re not going to lie and say you haven’t thought of sleeping with him, but it was just a fantasy. When you’re around him, it’s the last thing on your mind. You simply enjoy his presence and every little thing that he does for you.
When you reach the main entrance of the building, Jungkook is waiting for you against the wall. For a second, you let your eyes roam over his body. Tonight, he looks different. The biker version of him is gone. Instead, he’s dressed in a full brown suit, the fabric slightly loose on his frame, like everything he wears. This man only seems to love extra-large clothes, but on him, it just works.
It makes him look attractive.
“Hi,” you say finally, once you’ve taken him in properly.
At the sound of your voice, his head turns, and his gaze instantly finds you, his eyes moving slowly over you.
The outfit you’ve opted for is different from what you’re used to. You stepped out of your comfort zone tonight, for him, even if you don’t want to admit it. So, you’ve put on a black skirt—that has been in your wardrobe for years—with a red top that adds just enough contrast. Your black oversized jacket falls naturally over your shoulders, and the boots give you a bit more confidence than usual.
It’s simple, but feels different.
“Hi,” he says, his eyes meeting yours. “You look great.”
“Thanks,” you smile at him. “The suit looks good on you.”
You’ve never seen him in a suit, which somehow makes tonight feel special. You step closer, closing the distance between you, and lean in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. His hand naturally finds your lower back.
When you pull away, his hand doesn’t leave. His thumb gently strokes your lower back. The simple gesture comforts you in ways you can’t even express. In fact, being around him always brings peace to your soul. You love being with him. It’s just easy. You can simply be yourself, and he’ll never judge you.
“We should get going,” he says after a moment. “Don’t want us to arrive late.”
You nod. Before you can step away, he leans in just slightly and presses a soft kiss on top of your head. The gesture catches you off guard. Then, his hand guides you forward, still resting at your lower back as you walk together toward his car.
It’s the first time you've seen it. You’re so used to the full biker Jungkook, and this feels different. The car is pretty and most probably expensive. You can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. This man definitely has good taste.
But then again, you already knew that.
His hand never leaves you as you reach the passenger side, guiding and protecting you. Feeling his warmth next to you is like having a blanket wrapped around you; it’s comforting and reassuring.
He opens the door for you without a word, and when you move to sit, he adjusts slightly to make sure you’re comfortable before closing the door behind you. The outside world fades as you settle into the seat, the soft leather adjusting beneath you. The inside smells just like him, which makes you smile.
Over the past two weeks, you’ve found yourself looking for his clean and strong perfume. It’s like your body and soul are already addicted to him, and you’ll die if you can’t have it for a day. And when you don’t, it’s compensated for by the sweet melody of his voice whenever he calls or drops voice notes.
A few seconds later, the driver’s door opens, and Jungkook slides in. You glance at him as he adjusts his jacket slightly before starting the car. The movement is simple and controlled, like everything he does. Even here, nothing about him seems out of place. If anything, it fits him too well.
The engine hums to life, and he rests his hand on the steering wheel before glancing at you.
“You’re good?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you nod.
Your eyes drift around the interior before settling on the world outside through the window. The car slowly starts to glide into the street with ease.
Neither of you speaks for a moment, but the silence isn’t awkward—it never is with him. The city stretches around you as he drives. You rest your elbow lightly against the door, your fingers brushing your lips as you watch the passing streets.
“You don’t use this car much, do you?” you ask after a while.
He glances at you briefly, then back at the road. “Not really,” he replies.
“That’s what I thought,” you murmur, a small smile growing on your face. “I’ve only ever seen you on the bike.”
He chuckles a bit, which makes you turn your head toward him. “On a day-to-day basis, it’s easier with the bike,” he begins to explain. “I avoid the traffic when I go to work, and honestly, I prefer the bike to the car by far.”
He glances at you again, and you hold his gaze.
“It makes sense,” you reply as he focuses back on the road. “But honestly, I didn’t expect you to have a car like this.”
“What did you expect?” he asks with curiosity.
“I don’t know…” you shrug lightly. “Just the bike, I guess.”
A faint smile pulls at his lips. “I do have other sides,” he replies. “I’m not just a biker.”
“I’m starting to notice that.”
Jungkook slows down at a light, the red glow reflecting across his face. You watch him without really meaning to, and his gaze lands on you, neither of you looking away. At first, having him look at you was sometimes unsettling, but it isn’t anymore.
Suddenly, the red glow turns into green, but he doesn’t notice it, or at least, he pretends he doesn’t. Honestly, you could stay like this forever, but I’m sure the cars behind wouldn’t agree.
“You should focus on the road,” you whisper.
He just nods and starts the car, gliding it through the city. Your eyes look out the window once more, watching silently as the world moves around you. In the past few years, you’ve always been the driver, never the passenger, so you have to admit that it’s a bit odd to be in this position tonight.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t good.
After a while, you reach your destination, and your mouth drops as one of the fanciest restaurants in town stands before your eyes.
“We’re going to eat here?” you ask, your head turning to look at him.
Jungkook nods, and your entire body freezes. It’s barely possible to get a reservation, unless you want to wait months. And then, this is expensive as hell.
“How did you…?”
He chuckles lightly as a little smile appears on his face.
“Well, I’ve some friends who helped me out,” he replies.
“No,” you shake your head. “We can’t.”
“Why so?” he frowns. “I thought you’d love to come, you mentioned it a couple of times.”
The simple fact that he remembered you speaking about it warms your heart. He listened and remembered, which to you means more than you’ll ever be able to express.
“It’s not about that,” you say. “This is expensive.”
“And?” he replies as if money was the least of his concerns.
For the past two weeks, whenever you’d be out, Jungkook would pay for everything. Since you’ve met him, you haven’t paid a single thing, even if you begged. He always hides behind the excuse that he was the one inviting you, which wasn’t true all the time.
“I already know you,” you tell him. “You won’t let me pay.”
“I invited you, so I should be the one paying for it.”
“Not this time,” you clap back. “And if you don’t let me, I’ll never speak to you ever again.”
He raises an eyebrow while his eyes try to read yours.
“I dare you to,” he replies.
You’re almost offended by his words. “You don’t believe I can?”
“You’ll for sure do it at first to prove me wrong,” he begins explaining. “But you wouldn’t resist too long.”
Now you’re offended that he already knows you. This sounds totally like you. As you’re stubborn as hell, you’ll try to prove him wrong by ignoring him for as long as you can, but then, you’ll stop. And you both know the reason. You’ll miss him.
As you don’t know and don’t want to reply, you beg, “Just let me pay, please.”
“If it’s expensive for me, it is for you too,” he replies instantly, crossing his arms against his chest.
As you’ve also noticed, there’s no arguing with him. If he has decided something, you can do, say, or ask whatever you want; he’ll just do as he planned and won’t flinch at all.
“At least, let me pay for my part?”
Your words sound more like a question than intended.
“Give me a solid reason, then,” he flatly says.
“The expensive part isn’t reason enough?” you ask, and he shakes his head.
You sigh in defeat, knowing damn well, you’ve already lost this fight. He’s going to pay whether you want it or not. It’s honestly very chivalrous, but he shouldn’t have to pay for everything. It’s like his wallet knows no limit.
“I just feel bad, okay?” you then confess. “You always pay for everything, and I don’t want you to throw your money like that.”
At that moment, something entirely soft appears in his eyes, and his shoulders slightly drop down. His hand finds its way to your cheek before his thumb slowly and gently strokes it. His face gets closer, his hot breath caressing your face.
“I throw my money where I want to,” he gently whispers. “And it’s worth it with you.”
Your eyes inevitably stare down at his lips for a hot moment before shifting up to his eyes. Jungkook can’t throw things like that, especially when it makes you feel so special.
“It’s not fair,” you admit out loud. “I should be able to do it too.”
He chuckles, his eyes still glued to your face.
“Keep your money and make good use of it,” he answers.
You shake your head, looking away and pushing his eyes off your face. He makes everything harder. It’s impossible to resist him.
“Why can’t you let me pay?” he sincerely asks.
His question catches you off guard, which makes you stare back at him instantly. You tilt your head, and you can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t used to this. So, it leaves you wondering if people just let him pay without even questioning it.
“We both work our asses off to earn it,” you start explaining. “It feels like I’m exploiting you when I also have the means to pay for everything we do.”
You don’t know much about his job; he’s always so vague about it, as if he wants to avoid speaking about it. All you know is that he works in finance and he’s gotten promoted several times. With those few pieces of information, you deduced that he must be comfortable in life. Now, to what extent, you don’t really know.
“Please don’t feel like that,” he mumbles. “It’s never been my intention.”
Of course, you know it, and you also don’t want him to feel bad about it. You’re simply not used to all of this. Even your ex would let you pay, but things were different back then. He was struggling financially, and it wouldn’t be right to let him pay for everything. But still, it just feels wrong to let Jungkook do it.
“This is my way of expressing my gratitude for spending time with you,” he whispers with the biggest doe eyes.
Damn, how are you supposed to resist him? Those doe eyes always get the best out of you. He gets whatever he wants with that.
“That’s nice of you,” you tell him. “But just let me sometimes pay, okay?”
He nods, and you can’t help but press a soft kiss on his cheek, even though his lips are the spot you’d like to kiss.
“But it’ll start after this dinner,” he replies.
Well, there’s no more arguing left now. You’ve found a middle ground for now, but you’ll for sure remind him of it next time he doesn’t let you pay.
“Okay,” you agree.
The rest of the night just goes well. The conversation flows perfectly between the two of you, and you absolutely enjoy the dinner. The restaurant looks even better than in all the pictures you’ve seen online, and you’re definitely grateful that Jungkook managed to find a table.
Obviously, you let him pay for you, but you had to bite your tongue when you saw the price. Even if you carefully chose a not-too-expensive plate, it was still a lot. Nonetheless, everything was super good, and let’s not even talk about the wine. It was so good that you swore you had an orgasm just with it.
When he drops you off, it feels like the night was too short. You wish you could spend more time with him, but you don’t want to scare him off just yet.
“Thanks for the night,” you tell him once you’re in front of the building’s entrance.
“I should thank you too,” he replies. “It was great.”
You nod, agreeing completely with him. It was really good, and you’d love to do this again.
“We should repeat it,” you say.
“As long as you keep my helmet, we’ll repeat this as much as you want.”
The helmet has become the guarantee that you’ll keep seeing each other, as if it’s an excuse. Somehow, you know that as long as you have it, you have him as well. It’s proof that he trusts you and wants to spend time with you.
A smile grows on your lips, and you swear that at that moment, your body melts. The more you spend time with him, the more you love every single word falling from his pretty lips. It’s like he’s a romantic man without even trying.
“I’ll keep it forever then,” you admit.
Jungkook gets closer, his hand delicately placing a strand of hair behind your ear. This simple gesture sends shivers down your spine. Your eyes get lost in his, and the world seems to disappear around you as his thumb lightly brushes against your cheek, leaving a warmth that spreads through your entire body.
“I’d love nothing more than that,” he whispers, his face moving way too close to yours until you feel his hot breath on your skin.
Your heart hammers faster and faster in your chest, and for a brief moment, nothing else matters. He’s about to kiss you, there’s absolutely no doubt about it, and truthfully, there’s nothing else you want more right now.
“I’ll keep it safe,” you reply, your eyes moving from his eyes to his lips.
His nose brushes against yours, the bare touch making you shiver. When his eyes search yours, you know he’s silently asking for permission. And when you don’t pull away, he simply knows.
Then, he closes the distance.
His lips press against yours with hesitation at first. His hand finds its way to the back of your neck, holding you while he deepens the kiss. The world entirely disappears as his lips move against yours, consuming you completely.
Your body leans into his instinctively, your hands finding his chest to bunch the fabric of his suit jacket beneath your fingers. When his tongue brushes your lower lip, your stomach flips, and you let him in. The sensation is overwhelming and beautiful.
When you break the kiss, you’re both breathless, foreheads resting against each other as your eyes meet once again. Jungkook’s fingers softly caress your face, and his touch is so soft. You close your eyes to savor this moment.
None of you speaks, too lost in the moment to even express what you feel. Jungkook has made you feel so loved in such a short time, and it’s in all the little things he does, like making you keep his helmet. And above all, he’s shown you that he’s there, by your side. That’s worth way more than any word he could ever say.
His lips meet yours once more as if he needs to repeat it to make sure it’s real. And you let him consume you as much as he wants. He can even take your soul if he desires, because you know that he holds your heart in the palm of his hand.
“Miss yn,” Juhee says when you pick up her call.
“Hi to you too, Ju,” you reply.
Last night you slept like a baby, your dreams filled with Jungkook and his sweet lips.
“How on earth am I finding out through my husband that you kissed Jungkook?” she says, trying to sound angry, but she fails miserably.
Her words catch you by absolute surprise. It’s been a couple of hours since it happened, and Yoongi is already aware of it? You haven’t imagined Jungkook being the type to share everything so fast with Yoongi, his best friend.
“Woow, he already knows?” you ask.
“Of course he does. He has like a group chat with Jungkook and Hobi, and they share everything,” she explains. “Like absolutely everything.”
“Oh.”
“BUT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!” she screams on the other side. “Gosh, I’ve been dying to hear that since Yoongi’s birthday!”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile appearing on your face. You’re also happy that you finally kissed. You’ve been giggling all morning, thinking about it.
“Don’t get too excited,” you reply. “It’s just a kiss.”
“Stop,” she instantly says. “It wasn’t just a kiss, and we all know it.”
She isn’t wrong, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. The last time that it happened was with a man who broke your hearts months later. You really don’t want to get hurt. However, it’s clear that you’re letting Jungkook in and giving him all the powers to hurt you.
“Look, you never heard this from me, but Jungkook gets as excited as you about whatever is going on between you. Yoongi even told me that he hasn’t seen him this happy in years.”
A little silence falls between you—one that simply allows you to process for a moment what she just told you.
“I know I promised Yoongi I’d never say anything, but I want you to realize that he’s really into you,” she breaks the silence. “I know you’re scared because of what Elliott did to you. But you can’t be scared for the rest of your life. If you want to find someone who loves you, you have to let them in,” she pauses for a hot second. “You have to let Jungkook in.”
It’s easier said than done. You know you’ll always overthink everything, which probably isn’t the right move.
“And if he ever dares to do something wrong, we’ll kick him in the ass!” she adds. “Now, seriously, we’re rooting for you because you both deserve this.”
“Thanks, Juhee,” you tell her.
“Now, tell me everything!” she urges you.
You chuckle before saying, “He told me that as long as I have his helmet, we’ll keep having dates.”
“Oh god, he’s soooo cheesy,” she says. “But damn, that’s so sweet.”
You then explain everything in detail—from when he picked you up to when you kissed. She keeps giggling through it all, and somehow, it fulfills you that your best friend is so invested in your love life. You know that she’ll support you no matter what.
After that, your sister shows up at your place with your favorite niece in the world—well, it’s your only niece—because she has an important appointment with her husband. They’ve been trying for a second baby through IVF. They followed the same route with your niece, as they were aware of their fertility issues.
Your parents are out of town; they went on a trip to Thailand to enjoy some time alone. With your sister, you’ve encouraged them to do it because they’ve spoken about that trip for years. They decided to go there for three weeks and visit as much as they could.
“Don’t be too silly, okay?” your sister tells your niece, Ivy.
“I promise, mommy,” she replies with the sweetest voice.
“Don’t worry, sissy,” you add while you grab your niece in your arms. “She’s always been good with me.”
Ivy wraps her tiny legs around your waist and her arms around your neck. She’s so tiny for a 5-year-old, but so clingy. You absolutely adore this kid with all your soul.
“Yeah, but I just want to make sure she doesn’t drive you crazy,” she retorts.
“If anything, I’m the one who will drive her crazy,” you chuckle.
Your sister smiles, knowing damn right that it’s the truth. Before your niece existed, you were driving your sister crazy since the day you were born.
“Now, go before you arrive late at your appointment,” you urge her to leave.
She presses a kiss on her daughter’s cheek before doing the same to you.
“Have fun!” she says as she disappears into the hallway.
You close the door, put down your niece, and look at her. She brought her coloring book with her, and it might keep her busy for a moment. You’re not sure how long the appointment will take, but if it lasts long, you’re not sure the coloring will be enough to keep her entertained.
“Let’s get to the living room,” you say, grabbing her little backpack. “Want your favorite juice?”
Since you never know when she might show up at your place, you always have her favorite orange juice, which you recently found out is also Jungkook’s.
“Not yet,” she replies.
Once in the living room, she sits down on the floor in front of the coffee table, takes his book and the coloring pencils, and chooses which coloring she’ll do. On your end, you decide to sit on the couch, which is more comfortable than the floor.
“Do you want to watch something in particular?” you ask.
“Can we watch The Little Mermaid?”
You nod and put it on. She’s obsessed with it; luckily for her, you adore it too. Otherwise, you would have grown tired of watching it every time she comes. At some point, your phone buzzes next to you, and your eyes quickly take a glance.
The second you notice it’s a message from Jungkook, the silliest smile stretches on your lips. For a moment, your eyes run over his message. He’s asking if you’re doing something today. Since your niece is sitting between you and the tv, you take a picture to show him what you’re currently doing.
you: taking care of my niece
The three dots instantly appear on your screen.
jungkook 🏍️: lucky her
Your smile grows bigger, you’re sure it’s reaching your ears.
you: you could come after, if you want 😊
Your heart is beating way too fast in your chest. You’d love nothing more than to spend time with him, especially after how last night went. You’d love to kiss him all over again.
jungkook 🏍️: of course
Your face gets hotter because he didn’t even hesitate.
you: and could we go on a ride? i miss it 🫣
jungkook 🏍️: we do whatever you want
There is a little pause before he sends you a second message.
jungkook 🏍️: everything is fine for me
He’s way too nice. You’re scared you’ll tire him of going on rides, which you don’t want because you enjoy it too much.
you: aren’t you tired of me asking that?
“Aunty?” your niece suddenly turns around.
“Yes, princess,” you say while putting your phone aside.
“Which color you think is better for the dress?” she asks.
She shows you all her pencils, and you look between them and the coloring, trying to figure out which will suit best. The green seems instantly like the perfect color. In the background, your phone buzzes, letting you know Jungkook has replied.
“This one,” you show her the green pencil.
She takes the pen without thinking much and starts coloring. You decide to remain on the floor, next to her, so you grab your phone from the couch. When you unlock it, you notice three messages from Jungkook.
jungkook 🏍️: no, i love my bike
jungkook 🏍️: and i like the rides with company
jungkook 🏍️: you can keep asking as much as you want
A smile grows again on your face. You feel like a teenager falling in love with her crush, and damn, you don’t want that feeling to ever disappear.
you: don’t say that, i’ll ask every single day for a ride
Your heart beats crazily as you type your second message.
you: might even ask you to drop me off at work at some point
“Who are you talking to?” Ivy suddenly asks without hesitation.
Your eyes move from the phone to her tiny figure.
“A friend,” you tell her.
“Is your friend cool?” she asks.
“Absolutely,” you reply instantly.
Without even looking, you notice his answer, but you don’t look just yet as you speak with your niece.
“How cool?”
She’s way too curious, but you don’t mind. She’s still young and cute too, so she can ask or say whatever she wants with you.
“Like he has a bike,” you reply.
“Woow,” her little mouth takes the ‘O’ shape as she speaks. “Can I see a picture?”
Well, you don’t have a picture of his bike.
“Wait, let me ask him.”
She nods, and your eyes fall on your chat with Jungkook.
jungkook 🏍️: i’ll do it gladly
Your heart melts right there and then. What have you done to find someone like him? He’s just so nice and sweet with you. You feel like you can ask for the moon, and he’ll hand it to you without even blinking.
you: you’re too nice!
you: my niece is asking for a picture of your bike
you: can you send one?
It takes a couple of minutes before you receive the requested picture. It doesn’t do it justice at all, but it still looks good.
“Here you go, little monster,” you tell her as you show it to her.
“It’s beautiful,” she says with the biggest doe eyes.
She takes her time to look at the picture as if the bike will suddenly come to your living room if she keeps looking. She looks cute, though. Then, a message from Jungkook pops up.
“You have a message, aunty,” she points out.
jungkook 🏍️: i can come if she wants to see it irl
You almost giggle in front of her. Seems like Jungkook would find any excuse to come see you, even using your niece.
“Would you like to see it?” you then ask to Ivy. “Like really see it?”
“I can?” she says as her eyes widen, and a bright smile grows on her face.
“Yes, my friend can show it to you,” you tell her.
“Yes, yes,” she says, completely excited.
She stands up and starts jumping with happiness. It really fills your heart to see her like that, and you’d do anything to make her happy until she becomes old. Even though she’s your sister’s daughter, she’s kind of your baby too.
you: she would absolutely love that
jungkook 🏍️: okay, i’ll be there in 10 minutes
“We can keep watching the movie until he arrives, okay?” you tell her.
She nods before sitting down on the floor next to you. She presses her tiny body against yours, and you wrap your arm around her. This little girl definitely owns your heart.
Exactly ten minutes later, you receive a notification from Jungkook, letting you know that he’s arrived. Somehow, knowing that your niece is going to meet him makes you nervous. Why? Because it’s like letting him in your family. Ivy is definitely going to tell her parents about this, which will lead to your sister asking about this, and then, she’ll definitely want to meet him.
“So, little monster,” you tell her. “My friend’s here, but before going, I have something to give you.”
She nods, and you disappear into your room to pick up the helmet. When you come back, you hand it to her.
“To make it even cooler, I’ll let you borrow my helmet,” you smile at her.
“Thanks, aunty,” she says.
“Now, let’s put that jacket on because it’s too cold outside.”
The two of you get ready. You look like an absolute mess. You weren’t exactly planning on seeing Jungkook, so it’s just you, your large Sabrina Carpenter shirt, your oversized jacket, and your grey sweatpants.
When you’re finally outside, she sees the bike right in front of her. She gets super excited, which is somehow super funny. As he notices you, Jungkook climbs off his bike and takes his helmet off.
“Hi, mister,” Ivy says while extending her hand to him. “I’m Ivy, her niece.”
“Hi Ivy, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he says, taking her hand and gently shaking it. “I’m Jungkook.”
His eyes briefly shift to you, a bright smile appearing on his face.
“Heard you wanted to see a bike for real,” he says with a gentle voice as he lowers himself to her level.
“Yes, my aunty even brought her helmet,” she tells him.
“Well, we will only put it when you’re on the bike,” he explains to her.
“I can go on it?” she asks with evident excitement.
“We’re not going to drive, but you can sit on it,” he tells her.
She gets even more excited, and he takes her in his arms before placing her on the bike. She looks so so tiny on it, but it’s honestly one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen. She’s ridiculously adorable like that.
“Now, Ivy’s aunty,” he says to you, “can you please give me your helmet?”
You nod as you give it to him. With all the care in the world, he places it on top of her head. Obviously, it is way too big for her, but she’s absolutely living her biker dream. As you watch them interact, your heart melts completely. You never knew you needed this in your life.
Jungkook climbs behind her at some point and starts the engine. You obviously take the helmet back as it is too heavy and big for her little head. Let’s avoid hurting her while she’s under your watch. Your sister would kill you if something happened.
He leans in slightly, making sure that he doesn’t squish your niece, and one hand settles on the handlebar.
“Watch this,” he says.
He twists the throttle, and the engine roars to life beneath them, the sound low and powerful as it vibrates. Ivy’s eyes widen instantly. With a small smile, Jungkook gently takes her hand and places it on the handlebar.
“Feel that?” he says.
Ivy nods, almost bouncing in place as the vibrations hums under her fingers. This moment unfolding before your eyes is honestly marvelous. Ivy is clearly so happy to be on a bike for the first time in her life, and Jungkook is more than happy to share this moment with her. He clearly loves his bike. No wonder he doesn’t mind going around with you.
“Aunty,” Ivy calls you, “can you take a picture, please?”
You take your phone out of your pocket, placing yourself in front of them. Jungkook holds her tightly in his arms while she still has her hand on the handlebar. They both give you their brightest smiles. You take several pictures, and then they go back to discuss the bike as if you don’t even exist.
Jungkook tells her many things about it, like how and when he bought it, how he started driving bikes, and how much he loves being on it. She begs for a ride, but he categorically refuses, as it is too dangerous, which you emphasize as well. Obviously, she’s a bit disappointed.
Honestly, you don’t know how long you stayed outside, but you know that it’s enough to have your sister back from her appointment.
“What are you—” she freezes the second she sees her daughter on a bike with a stranger.
“Wait,” you tell her before she joins them. “He’s a friend of mine, and she’s completely safe with him. They’ve been at it for god knows how long.”
Your sister stands next to you, looking at Jungkook and Ivy on the bike, who are animatedly talking.
“A friend of yours?” she raises an eyebrow. “Is it the sexy kind of friend?”
Your eyes move from Jungkook and your niece to her. You really can’t believe her. One second ago, she was concerned to see her daughter with a stranger, and now she’s asking if you’re being freaky in bed with that stranger. Unbelievable!
“Don’t!” you tell her. “It’s not like that between us.”
“Well, with a friend like that, I would have already opened my legs,” she chuckles.
You tap her arm, which only makes her laugh even more. “You’re married.”
“But that doesn’t stop me from appreciating a good-looking man when I see one.”
You roll your eyes, annoyed by what she’s saying. If you didn’t know, you’d believe that she doesn’t care about her husband, but that woman is like desperately in love with your brother-in-law. However, you still decide to tell her what’s going on between you and Jungkook. She’ll find it out anyway.
“If you want to know, this is a friend I’ve been seeing for like two weeks and whom I kissed last night,” you tell her.
She gasps at your words. “You’re telling me that my baby sis is finally giving a chance to a guy?”
“Exactly,” you reply.
“Well, this day couldn’t be going any better!” she says with a big smile on her face.
“You got good news from this appointment?” you ask.
“We’ll start next week our first round,” she explains, and you instantly hug her.
You’re so excited for her. You know how much it means to her to have a baby, and knowing that the whole process will start next week makes you incredibly happy for her. You can’t wait to have another niece or nephew.
Your sister then decides to join her daughter and Jungkook to check up on them. Ivy couldn’t be happier than she is right now.
“Little lady,” she says when she’s next to them. “I leave you with your aunt, and you decide to trick a young man into showing you his bike?”
She laughs with her entire soul, which is an absolutely adorable sound, by the way.
“He’s aunty’s friend,” she explains to her mom. “He agreed to show it to me.”
For the first time since he showed up, his gaze lands on you, and damn, your heart stops beating instantly. The softness in his eyes and the way they glow get the best out of you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, but you know that this moment fills him with joy. And man, you’re so glad your niece asked for this.
Your sister introduces herself to him, and for a little moment, they discuss. She’s completely charmed by him, just like her daughter. You look at everything from the outside and simply let them discuss. You wouldn’t want to influence the opinions they’ll have of each other.
Somehow, it scares you that he got to meet your sister while you’re still figuring things out between you. But at the same time, it reassures you, because if she believes he’s an asshole, you’ll know where you stand.
He and Ivy end up leaving the bike, and you join them so you can say goodbye to your sister and your niece. When your sister hugs you, she says, “He’s definitely a keeper, so don’t mess things up.”
You hold her even tighter and close your eyes for a second. Knowing that she appreciates him fills your heart.
“Now, let’s go home, Ivy,” your sister says to her daughter.
The little girl waves at you as they disappear into the street. Her car must be parked somewhere, hopefully not too far, so they don’t have to walk too much.
“So, where do you want to go?” Jungkook asks when you’re alone.
“Like now?” you ask with surprise, and he simply nods. “Well, I don’t have the most appropriate clothes.”
“We can stay at your place if you want,” he suggests.
Honestly, you don’t really know what you want to do right now. Staying at your place isn’t what you want to do at this precise moment, but you also look like an absolute mess, so you don’t really know if it’s a good idea to even go somewhere.
“Maybe we can go to the little coffee shop you talked about the other day,” you suggest. “But I’ll just need to change before.”
His hand takes yours, pushing you closer to him. His breath instantly falls on your face as you both get lost in each other’s gaze.
“No need to change,” he whispers. “You look good.”
“But—”
Before you can even add something, his lips find yours for a soft and gentle kiss. It catches you a bit off guard at first, but you reciprocate quite quickly. Your hands find their way to his neck, pulling him closer while his hands rest on your back. If this is how it’s going to be every time you see him, well, you already can’t wait for next time.
When you break the kiss, you look at him with the silliest smile on your face. These moments with him bring so much peace and happiness to your heart. You definitely don’t ever want to let him go, especially since there’s still much more to discover about him.
“You can’t do that to shut me up,” you gently hit his chest.
“I wanted to do it the second you appeared with your niece,” he confesses.
“Still, it’s not an excuse,” you tell him.
“I—”
And you do as he did to you: you kiss him to shut him up. He instantly kisses you back with a passion that could be overwhelming if it wasn’t welcomed. Your fingers play with his hair at the nape of his neck, as his fingers stroke your back with such gentleness.
“Let’s go to the coffee shop,” he whispers when you break apart. “Before we keep kissing over and over.” And just like that, you climb on his bike and disappear into the street.
As time goes on, you’ve been spending more and more time with him. You’re basically inseparable; he’s always showing up at your doorstep and texting you constantly. Going around on his bike has kind of been your love language.
Even though you’ve been having a lot of fun, it’s obvious that it’s becoming very serious between you. You find yourself waiting for his messages and craving to see him constantly. You absolutely love being with him.
So far, you haven’t put a label on whatever is going on, and except for little kisses here and there, nothing physical has happened, which, being honest, makes you happy. You don’t want to turn this relationship into something sexual.
Why?
It’s simple. You want Jungkook to appreciate you for who you are and not for the sex. On top of that, you haven’t been intimate with any men since your last breakup four years ago, so it kind of frightens you to get freaky with him.
He hasn’t initiated or pushed you to do anything like that, and honestly, you couldn’t be more thankful for that. You’re not sure how you would have reacted if he ever did something.
Jungkook has also been nothing but a gentleman. He sometimes accepts letting you pay, even though you can tell it’s hard for him, which always makes you laugh in some way. However, he’ll compensate in another way, like for example, he’ll buy a bouquet of flowers, or he’ll show up at your place with ramen or your favourite chocolates.
Juhee, Hyunri, and your sister have been encouraging you a lot and giving you tons of advice. It’s been helpful whenever you’d feel like it’s too much, because you’re not used to this anymore.
There are some moments where you question everything. You know you shouldn’t because he’s been nothing but a gentleman, giving you the space you need while still being around. A lot of times, you find yourself doubting it all.
“Should you give him a chance? Should you keep doing this? Should you let him fully in?” Those are some of the questions that sometimes cross your mind.
Also, you’ve been used to being on your own and dealing with everything by yourself. And now, you have someone ready to help you whenever you need it. It’s new, and sometimes, you feel like you’re sharing too much. You feel like he might run away, but he never does. He just helps you.
Even compared to your ex, Jungkook is way more present and supportive. Your ex was definitely there and trying to help you out, but it wasn’t the same. You know you can count on Jungkook no matter what, whereas with your ex, you’d sometimes hesitate to share things with him.
And honestly, back then, you would have preferred having Jungkook because you were dealing with a best friend who was dying. Your ex was there even though he wasn't, and you found out later that he was getting closer to the girl he had always had a crush on, which, honestly, is a jerky move.
This weekend, Jungkook invited you to spend it together in a little house out of the city. Obviously, you hesitated at first, but following many conversations with Juhee, Hyunri, and your sister, you agreed to it.
Honestly, it’s such a beautiful place. It’s surrounded by nature, with other small cabins nearby. You don’t know how he found this place, but you’re happy he brought you with him.
“I heard this is the perfect spot to watch the stars,” he tells you Friday night, right after you arrive.
You inevitably look up at the sky, and the stars shine so bright. The sky is absolutely clear, which is hard to see when you live in a city. A smile stretches across your face.
“We could lie down and watch them together, if you want,” he suggests.
“Absolutely!” you enthusiastically reply.
Jungkook grabs a blanket from the inside before placing it on the floor. You both stand next to each other, your eyes focused on the bright sky. You can’t remember the last time you properly looked up there; it feels like you never have the time to slow down and enjoy life.
The two of you remain in silence for a little while, simply enjoying each other's company. Silences with him are never heavy or awkward. They actually are peaceful, as if they’re mending something inside both your hearts.
“I was married once,” he breaks the silence, his eyes still fixed on the sky.
You also don’t look at him, but deep down, you’re happy that he’s mentioning it to you. Never once have you said or commented on anything about it, preferring to wait for him to speak about it.
“Was it a long time ago?” you ask, even though you already know the answer.
“The divorce was settled a year ago,” he replies. “We were together for eight years at the time of the divorce, and we had celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary a couple of months before.”
They were together for a long time, and it’s saddening to know that his marriage didn’t work out. It must be painful to realize that the person you wanted to spend your life with isn’t the one.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” you gently say. “What happened?”
“Time happened,” he replies before pausing for a while. “After a while, we started to grow apart. We were barely spending time together, and whenever we were, it just didn’t feel right. We would always find excuses to avoid each other.”
Picturing a Jungkook avoiding someone he cares for seems absolutely strange. Since you’ve known him, he’s been finding every possible excuse to spend time with you. However, you know that the version of him that you know isn’t the one that he was back then. If anything, the past version of him created this new one.
“My world also changed a lot at some point, and I guess that over time, she stopped accepting it,” he adds. The way his voice breaks at the end makes your heart ache, so your fingers find his to intertwine them, trying to reassure him in some way.
“On top of that, my family never appreciated her. My dad always told me that she was too superficial, so in the end, it didn’t help.”
Jungkook has barely ever talked about his family. You’ve noticed that he never speaks about his mom, which leaves you wondering whether she was ever a part of his life. His father is mentioned here and there, and you can tell he truly loves him. You also know that he has a younger brother.
“Love wasn’t there anymore, and even if it was the right thing to do, it still hurt,” he confesses.
Your eyes drift from the stars to his face. It’s plainly evident that it still affects him, but you guess it’s the aftermath of a divorce. If you get married in the first place, it’s because you loved the person so deeply. A divorce can feel like a failure.
“I really thought she was the one,” he says, his eyes meeting yours now.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” you tell him.
Even though you wouldn’t be here with him today if he was still with her, it’s still sad.
“I’m too,” he confesses. “But I don’t regret it.” Your eyebrows furrow, not sure what he means. “A divorce isn’t easy, don’t get me wrong, but when it’s not working, there’s no point in staying. We weren’t happy, and I don’t regret choosing to end things.” Jungkook pauses for a moment, his gaze lost on yours. “And I wouldn’t have met you.”
Your heart is seconds away from bursting with joy, and your hand squeezes his. For sure, if his marriage had worked, you wouldn’t have met him, or maybe you would have met him with his ex-wife.
“And believe me, getting to know you has been the best thing to ever happen in my life,” he adds.
The confession hits you harder than expected. Heat instantly rushes to your face, and for a second, you genuinely don’t know what to do with yourself. How are you even supposed to respond to something like that? Nothing you could possibly say would ever sound as meaningful as his words.
“You can’t say things like that,” you shily say.
“I’m just stating the truth,” he says. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
Inevitably, you hide yourself in the crook of his neck, which makes him giggle, and his arms wrap around your body, holding you as tightly as possible. His strong scent invades your nostrils, and god, he smells so good. Jungkook chuckles, his chest vibrating against your body.
“Why are you hiding?” he asks as his hand runs through your hair.
“Because when you say things like that,” you mumble against his neck, “I don’t know what to do with them.”
“You don’t have to do anything with them,” he adds softly as his fingers keep running through your hair. Jungkook shifts just enough to press a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “I’m not saying it so you’ll give me something back,” he continues. “I just want you to know.”
Your arms wrap around him, and you simply hold him tight against you. What have you done to deserve someone like him? He’s just so patient with you; it’s simply unbelievable.
“I’m also happy I got to meet you,” you mumble against his neck. “Everything seems easier with you.” Revealing your feelings isn’t something you’re comfortable with, but since he’s been nothing but adorable with you, it just feels right to let him know what you think, too.
“Things don’t have to be complicated,” he says quietly. “At least, not with me.” He pauses for a second. “I really like you, and that’s enough for me.” His thumb brushes lightly against your side. “And if you let me, I’ll keep being there,” he adds.
This simple moment fills your heart in so many ways. A little silence settles between you, and you close your eyes, focusing on the way his heart beats against his chest. As expected, he sounds very calm and relaxed, which also appeases you.
“I really want to be there for you,” he continues after a while.
“You already are,” you mindabsentedly reply.
“Not like that,” he says, his head shaking lightly. “More like being part of your life for as long as you allow me to be.”
Suddenly, the thought of him implying he wants to date you makes your heart rate increase crazily. Are you truly ready to have a boyfriend? You’re not really sure, but the answer almost feels evident. You want him to be your boyfriend—more than anything else in the world.
Jungkook chuckles before saying, “I might sound old school, but what I’m trying to say is that I’d love nothing more than to have you as my girlfriend.”
The biggest smile appears on your face as you squeeze him in your embrace. Even if he probably didn’t plan it, having him say those words under a sky full of stars and in such a cute setting makes this all incredibly romantic.
You push back a bit to be able to see him, your smile never fading away, and the second he sees you, the most glowy smile stretches on his lips. He’s very handsome.
“Do I get to call you my boyfriend?” you sillily ask.
“Absolutely! It’s even a requirement,” he replies.
“Then, you can have me as your girlfriend.”
Jungkook doesn’t wait even a second more before crashing his lips against yours. Tonight is by far the best night of your life.
The days went by with Jungkook by your side, as your boyfriend. It has been the most exciting and nervous thing you’ve ever experienced. The patience he has with you never seems to stop surprising you.
However, today isn’t honestly one of the greatest days. The day was rather long, work was too intense, and you worked overtime. You barely took a lunch break, but you didn’t have much choice if you wanted to finish your tasks for the day. To say you’re tired is an understatement. You haven’t told Jungkook anything yet, but sincerely, you don’t think you need to. It will just bother him, you’re sure of it. What’s the point of even telling him everything went wrong today? It’s best if you just rest and stay by yourself tonight.
The doorbell echoes in your apartment, and you take a deep breath. Who could it be? Who’s about to ruin your night?
When you see him on the interphone, your heart squeezes instantly. You directly regret thinking or being even mad about him bothering you tonight. Without hesitation, you let him in, and seconds later, he’s standing in front of you. A small smile crosses his face when he sees you, but you don’t really smile back at him.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” you tell him.
His expression shifts slightly. “I was nearby and thought I’d come to see you.”
It’s like he understands something is off because he doesn’t even try to kiss you. Blaming him about it doesn’t sound like the right move at this precise moment, especially since you don’t know if you should or not.
“Is it okay?” he then asks. “I could leave if you want me to.”
“No, it’s fine,” you answer quickly.
You step aside to let him in, your shoulder brushing lightly against his as he passes. Usually, he would head directly to the living room, but he doesn’t tonight. He just waits behind you, his helmet in his hand, as you close the door. His eyes don’t ever leave your body, and you can tell that he knows something’s off, but he won’t ask if you don’t say it.
“I just arrived from work,” you tell him.
A small silence settles between you. For the first time, you can see hesitation in his eyes, like he doesn’t know what to do. This surprises you as he’s always confident and knows what to do.
“Long day?” he breaks the silence.
You shrug, moving past him to move to the kitchen and putting some space between you. “It was just work,” you say as you open the fridge without really looking inside.
Behind you, you hear his footsteps as he tries to close the distance between you.
“I could’ve picked you up,” he says as he reaches the kitchen.
“I didn’t need that,” you reply.
Your words come out sharper than you meant. Behind you, you hear the faint shift of his weight, but he doesn’t move closer. Not once do you look around to see him. It’s like you need to avoid seeing his gaze on you, as if you’ll completely break down if you do.
“I didn’t say you did,” he replies calmly.
You close the fridge door before exhaling and running a hand through your hair. Then, you turn around to face him. The sight in front of you almost breaks your heart. He’s standing there, looking almost defeated and absolutely powerless.
“I know, I just…” You stop, frustrated with yourself. “You don’t have to show up all the time.”
His brows pull together slightly. “I just wanted to see you,” he says with a shaky and weak voice.
And that just breaks you. You just hurt him, not on purpose, but you still did it. Now, you feel stupid and selfish.
“I’m not used to that,” you admit, quieter now.
“To what?”
Jungkook doesn’t attempt to get closer. He stays where he is and simply looks at you, quietly studying you from afar.
“This,” you gesture vaguely between you. “I’m not used to having someone just be there,” you pause for a second. “All the time.”
Jungkook nods slowly, but doesn’t react straight away to your words. Knowing him, you’d say that his silence allows him to carefully think about his next words. And that comforts you. Right now, you don’t need someone blaming you for how you feel.
“I’m not trying to be everywhere,” he finally says. “I just don’t want to be absent either.”
You look at him, your chest tightening slightly. “I’ve been fine on my own,” you then say.
“I know,” he answers.
Over the past four months, you haven’t hidden how you’ve been by yourself for the past four years. And having him by your side isn’t always easy. Your peace has been thrown upside down since Yoongi’s birthday. Obviously, you’re grateful to have met him, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t destabilize you. You need time to adjust to all of this.
“I’m not trying to take that away from you.”
“Then, why does it feel like you are?” you ask, before you can even stop yourself.
If you hadn’t hurt him so far, you’re sure you did now. And you wouldn’t blame him if he leaves you right now. He has all the rights to. You’re not being fair to him, but it’s just how you feel. It makes you feel like you’re doomed to remain single for the rest of your life.
After a moment, he takes a hesitant step toward you. He still keeps his distance, and you just watch him move. A part of you wishes he’d get closer, but another part would like him to remain right where he is.
“I think,” he says slowly. “You’re just not used to someone staying.”
Your throat tightens, the tears seconds away to run down your face, and you look away—too coward to face him.
“That’s not—”
You can’t finish the sentence, because he’s not entirely wrong. Jungkook takes another step in your direction, but you still don’t look at him. You can now feel his presence right in front of you, and you really want to look at him, but you’re internally struggling.
“I don’t need you to need me,” he says quietly. “That’s not why I’m here.”
Jungkook doesn’t try to touch you. He just stays in front of you, reminding you for the millionth time that he’s here. He’s here for you, even when you struggle with it.
“I just want to be part of your life,” he adds. “At your pace.”
Something in your chest shifts, and you finally glance back at him. He’s really close, but you don’t do anything to push him away.
“I don’t know how to do that,” you admit.
“I know,” he says. “And it’s okay.”
There’s no judgment or pressure. There’s just understanding, as if whatever you just said makes sense to him. Then, slowly, you close the small distance between the two of you and nestle your face against his chest. He doesn’t hesitate a second before wrapping his strong arms around you, holding you as tight as possible. You close your eyes, hearing the melody of his heartbeat.
You don’t know how to deal with all of this; it’s frightening at times, but knowing that he’ll never pressure you is enough comfort for you. He’s not forcing you to embrace this all. He’s letting you do things at your own pace, which, let’s be honest, is a completely new concept to you. Even with your ex, it was totally different.
And that’s how you fall more in love with Jungkook.
You don’t fall for his sweet and beautiful words. You fall for the way he shows you over and over again that he isn’t going anywhere.
Being intimate physically with Jungkook is something you know will happen eventually. You’ve been officially together for two months now, and god, he’s hot as hell. There are moments when you just want to jump on him and let him ruin you in every way he wants. However, it also scares you.
You haven’t been intimate with a man for over four years; you’re not even sure you know how to have sex anymore. Sometimes, you still touch yourself, but it’s not the same. You’re on your own when you do it. Here, it’ll be with Jungkook. When you ovulate, all those frightening thoughts are thrown out of the window. And you know he has picked it up, but he holds back as the perfect gentleman that he is. Knowing him, you’d say that he’s waiting for it to happen naturally.
Tonight, you’re staying at his place. He prepared a fantastic dinner, as usual—he has turned into your own personal chef by now—and now, you’re both in his bed, simply discussing. You’re nuzzled together, your head on his chest, while he holds you close.
“In two weeks, it’s my little brother’s birthday,” he tells you, as his fingers trace circles on your back.
A smile spreads across your face as he mentions his brother. Lately, he has started to speak more about his sibling, mentioning how it has been to grow up with him and how much he cares about him. But other than that, he doesn’t speak much about his family, and honestly, if it’s a matter that triggers him, pressuring him to open up to you seems absolutely wrong, especially considering how he treats you.
“He’s planning a party?” you ask with curiosity.
“Yeah, dad planned something,” he tells you. “He always does for our birthdays.”
“That’s nice,” you tell him.
His fingers stop on your back, and you instantly understand that it might not sound ‘nice’ to him. “I wouldn’t say nice, but yeah, he does it…”
He pauses for a moment, his hand wrapping against your side as if he’s trying to hold onto something.
“He’s mostly trying to compensate for his absence,” he confesses after a while. Again, you don’t say anything, so he can reveal what feels comfortable for him.
“My dad was never there for us,” he continues. “Wasn’t there for any achievement, not even for our graduations. It was actually a miracle that he made it to my wedding.” Your heart clutches at the thought of a small Jungkook abandoned by his dad. “I know he went through tough things; it wasn’t easy for him as well.” he pauses for a bit. “The good side was that my mom compensated for him. She was present, taking care of my brother and me, and loving us equally.”
You push your body a bit back to look at him properly. Jungkook’s eyes are glued to the ceiling, but you can tell that sadness fills them. He swallows thickly, and your hand softly caresses his arms, trying to give him enough comfort to keep going. When his eyes finally meet yours, it just shatters you.
“Hyejo wasn’t my mom,” he confesses. “My mom died when I was two, and my dad remarried two years later. She loved me from the moment she saw me and treated me as hers since the very beginning,” a small smile appears on his face. “I don’t remember anything from before her, but to me, she’s always been there. And nothing changed after my brother’s birth.”
Jungkook places a strand of hair behind your ear, as if he needs to distract himself for a second.
“She was my mom even if she hadn’t given birth to me,” he tells you. “And there were moments in my life when I felt like I was betraying my birth mom.”
Imagining a young Jungkook blaming himself for loving another woman other than his mom is heart-crushing.
“Hyejo was my dad and my mom altogether, and I always held her dearly in my heart,” he continues. “She even walked me down the aisle for my wedding.”
A sincere smile appears on his face, and you can tell the memory is very special to him.
“Unfortunately, five years ago, she passed away,” he reveals.
So, she’s the person he lost. Losing his mother must have destroyed him on so many levels. If you barely managed to get yourself together after Lucas’s death, you can’t even imagine how he felt.
“I’m so sorry,” you mumble.
Jungkook simply nods and runs a finger down your face. It mustn’t be easy for him to reveal all of this, and you feel beyond grateful that he felt comfortable enough to share it with you.
“After that, my dad stopped being absent.”
Now that you know this, you understand why Jungkook is the way he is. Growing up with a dad who’s never there impacts the person you grow into. It’s like he promised himself that he’d never be absent. With you, he makes his presence known under any circumstances.
“It’s good to have him now, but it’ll never erase the past,” he admits. “My brother is still struggling with that and always throws it at this face.”
“And you?” you ask with concern.
“I forgave him years ago,” he replies. “I grew up as an angry teenager and hated him with all my soul, but it was destroying me more than anything else. So, I made my peace with it.”
That totally sounds like him. The opposite would have surprised you.
“My brother is trying to change,” he continues. “The death of our mother changed his perception of our dad, but there’s still a lot of anger inside him.”
“It takes a lot of courage to forgive someone who hurt us deeply,” you tell him.
“I know,” he says. “It’s a lot of work.”
Out of all the people, he’s the one who knows that best.
“I hope he’ll find the same strength to do it,” you reply.
“I hope so, too,” he says.
A little silence settles between you. You simply look at each other, body against body, his fingers touching your face with a tenderness that can mend any soul.
“I truly admire you for that,” you break the silence.
“Thanks, love,” he replies.
Jungkook leans down and presses the softest kiss on your lips. Your hands wrap around his neck, pushing him even closer. The confession makes you feel so many things for him right now—pride, admiration, and even more love.
His past could have turned him into an awful man, but it did the opposite. It made him a man with a beautiful soul. It gave him the strength to be different from his dad. It gave him the strength to give love back despite everything.
And man, that does something to your heart.
You feel even more grateful to have met him. Life has been blessing you with the gentlest of souls, and you definitely don’t intend on letting him go, even if it might be hard for you at times. This is all new to you, but he stays despite it all.
His arm slides around your waist, pulling you closer, just enough to close the space left between you. Your legs tangle slightly under the sheets, your body naturally settling against his. Not once do you stop kissing. It actually deepens more and more.
There’s no doubt where this is going.
Your hands find his shirt to push it off his head and run through his firm body. A little moan escapes his lips, but you swallow it with your mouth. Your top follows the same path when he strips it off your body. The moment the cold air brushes against your bare chest, shivers run down your body.
Those shivers suddenly bring you down, and you realize what is about to happen.
“Wait,” you say against his lips, pushing him away.
“Something’s wrong?” he asks.
You swallow hard, thoughts flying through your mind. Jungkook’s gaze is full of concern, and for a brief moment, you look away.
“It’s just—”
The words seem stuck in your throat.
“Sorry,” you shake your head.
“Hey,” he murmurs, voice low and gentle. “Talk to me.”
The way he looks at you and the way his fingers brush against your skin encourage you to open up to him.
“I’m scared,” you admit. “I haven’t done anything in over four years.”
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to.”
Right now, your entire body craves him with a desperation you can’t quite name. You want this more than anything else, but your mind keeps reminding you that you haven’t done anything in ages.
“I want to,” your voice is barely audible. “I really do.” You pause for a bit, trying to gather all your thoughts and express out loud what is going on inside your head. “Nobody has seen me naked, and…” you’re not even sure you’ll be able to continue, but you have to. “I’m scared you find me ugly.”
Jungkook exhales shakily and presses his forehead against yours. “There is nothing ugly about you, love,” he softly says. His hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers together. “You’re absolutely drop-dead gorgeous,” he continues. “There’s not a single part of you that's ugly.”
“How can you know that?” you whisper. “You’ve never seen me bare.”
He takes a deep breath, his free hand running through your cheeks.
“When you told me about losing your friend, that felt more intimate to me than seeing you naked,” he tells you. “Being vulnerable with someone means more to me than anything physical could ever.”
How does he always find the right words? It’s like he holds some sort of superpower. That must be it. Jungkook brings your intertwined fingers to his lips, kissing your knuckles, your wrist, and your forearm. The wet kisses ease you a bit, but nothing can ever compare to what he just said.
“Okay,” you say after a while.
“Okay?” he repeats, trying to be sure that you really and fully agree.
You nod before saying, “I really want this.”
“I’ll be slow and careful, but let me know if I overstep,” he tells you.
At first, he moves as if he might break you. His hands run over your body slowly and carefully, as if he’s trying to map your body with his palms. They never linger too long in one place. Your gaze follows his every movement, while his is completely focused on your body.
The remaining clothes slowly disappear from both your bodies, and seeing him naked as well helps you feel at ease. It still isn’t easy, and every time your body tenses, he stops and kisses you gently. There’s nothing but love in every single movement of his body.
Slowly, but surely, his fingers find your wet core, which makes you arch and moan at the same time. The feeling of his cold fingers running through your folds sends shivers down your spine and ignites a fire from within you.
When he slips a finger inside you, pleasure instantly takes over your body. This is new, and it feels so so good. Jungkook takes it easy, giving you all the time to adjust before he adds a second finger.
Your eyes flutter shut to enjoy this moment, but you can feel his gaze on you. The mere thought that this was scaring you minutes ago seems unbelievable. Jungkook leans down to press a kiss on your lips.
“Let me know if it’s too much,” he mumbles against your lips when he slips a third finger.
After so many years without experiencing this kind of exquisite torture, you come as soon as his third finger is inside you. It seems too quick, but god, nobody fingered you in years. And Jungkook does it really well.
However, he doesn’t stop; he keeps fingering you through your orgasm. Your moans get louder and louder, and you’re not sure you’ll be able to keep up with this if he keeps going. The stretch of his fingers feels marvelous. It’s like you’re transported into another dimension. When the second orgasm rips through you seconds later, he takes his fingers out and licks them. That sight alone could make you come because he looks like pure sin.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he takes his fingers off his mouth. As you’re unable to speak, you simply nod. “Good,” he smiles. “Do you want to keep going?”
His concern melts your heart. This is actually so sweet.
“I do,” you reply.
Jungkook stands up, disappears into his bathroom, and comes back with a box of condoms. As he walks toward the bed, he takes one and tears it from the foil. He kneels before you, settling between your opened legs.
“I haven’t done this in years,” he chuckles as he struggles to put the condom on.
“Do you need help?” you ask.
“No,” he shakes his head as he focuses on the task.
After a couple of seconds, he succeeds in placing it and presses his body against yours. His hand grabs his cock to rub it against your folds.
“If it’s too much, you stop me, okay?” he asks. “At any moment.”
You nod. He clearly gives a lot of importance to consent, which is great. Having sex for the first time with your boyfriend is kind of an intense and special moment. It’s better to turn it into a good memory, filled with respect for each other.
When he finally slides inside you, the stretch almost feels too overwhelming. You’ve read and heard that after going several years without sex, your hole goes back to how it was when you were a virgin. You wouldn’t believe any of it, but now that you’re back at it, you couldn’t agree more. It’s like you’re losing your virginity all over again.
Jungkook halts once he’s fully inside, giving you all the time in the world to adjust. Honestly, you’re grateful he does it because you really need it. Your body needs to learn all over again to have a cock inside. His body leans over yours, his lips pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek. Your arms wrap around his back, and you can’t help but hide your face in his neck. Jungkook holds you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.
“Let me know when I can move,” he whispers against your ear.
“Just give me a bit more time,” you tell him.
Your boyfriend remains still for as long as you need him to, and after a couple of seconds, you give him the green light. When his hips start rocking slowly, you’re instantly brought to heaven. His body brings pleasure to you like never before.
Everything feels so intense and consuming. You’re not sure if it’s due to the fact that you haven’t had sex in years, but it’s so so good. Jungkook is nothing but a sweetheart. His movements are slow, careful, and full of love. His lips kiss every part of your face and neck, bringing you to your orgasm through love. This is so intimate; you’ve never experienced sex like this.
The act itself is kind of dirty with all the body fluids leaking everywhere, the sweat all over your body, and the moans, but the way he does it turns it into a vulnerable moment. It’s not about sex. It’s about the love and attraction you both feel for each other.
When you cum, your entire body spasms violently while his name falls from your lips. The pleasure overwhelms you in a wonderful way, and you wish this would never stop. Your walls squeeze him so strongly that it pushes him to his release, coming inside the condom.
His body falls on top of yours while you both try to catch your breaths. When he pulls out to remove the condom and throw it, you feel empty and cold. Seconds later, he comes back to bed, wrapping your body against yours after he pushes the sheets on your bodies. One of his hands strokes your back in slow circles while the other remains in your lower back, pushing you as close as possible.
With all the emotions running through you, you fall asleep in the comfort of his warmth around you.
Two weeks later, it is rumored that the CEO of the company you work for is selling it to a worldwide group. People around you have been talking about it nonstop. Honestly, you haven’t paid much attention to them. As long as you keep your job, you don’t care, and it’s also just rumors; it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Jungkook told you yesterday he’ll have an important meeting today, and you promised him you’d spend the night together, eating junk food and watching some silly romcom to decompress. You’re planning to meet at your place, because it’ll be closer for him.
Your eyes look down at the phone in your hands before you send a quick message to your boyfriend, suggesting to order pizzas for tonight. Before he arrives at your place, you want to have everything ready, so he just has to come and sit down. You really want to take care of him, just like he does with you. He deserves it all.
A reply comes quite quickly, where he tells you that it sounds good. You’re already planning to order from his favourite place right before you leave, so you can pick it up on your way home. Hopefully, the pizzas will still be warm when he joins you.
jungkook 🏍️: can’t wait to be with you ❤️
This makes you smile, and it just warms your heart. Why does he always have to be so cute? Instantly, you let him know that you miss him so much. If you could, you’d bring him to your work, so you never have to be apart.
“Have you heard the news?” your coworker Ana asks as she appears next to you.
Instantly, you put your phone down to look at her. Her desk is right next to yours, and she’s always so into all the gossip going around. She’s the one who told you about those rumors concerning the sale.
“What news?” you frown.
“Well, the head of that worldwide group is coming today to meet the CEO,” she explains.
Honestly, you want to tell her that you don’t care, but that would be rude. And you also don’t want her to stop to tell you all the juicy gossip from the office.
“It’s official then?” you ask her.
“It doesn’t confirm if he’s selling, but looks like he is,” she adds.
“Hopefully, we won’t lose our jobs,” you reply, which makes her chuckle.
“Yeah, I hope so too,” she says.
If that guy is money-oriented, for sure, a lot of restructuring plans and other bullshit like that will happen. You truly hope it won’t happen because you love this job, and it’d be a shame to lose it, but this goes beyond yourself.
“But I heard that he’s kind of hot,” she adds. “If you weren’t so enamored with your Gukkie, you could have tried to seduce him and convince him not to fire us.”
You can’t help but laugh while shaking your head. This woman always pulls things like that, as if it was absolutely normal. “You really think I would have managed to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re hot and sexy too,” she replies.
“But he’s like the head of a group,” you tell her. “Those kinds of guys are unapproachable.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” she mumbles in defeat. “It’s best you keep your man.”
By far, you’d prefer Jungkook to some guy who probably thinks the world belongs to him. Usually, those men believe they’re better than anyone else, which is the total opposite of your boyfriend. She goes back to her desk, and you look down again at your phone. There’s a notification—a message from Jungkook where he says that you’ll be together soon.
The only thought of being with him after work thrills you more than anything else. For sure, you’ll mention this whole story to him, because there’s no way you’ll be hiding that Ana tried to convince you to seduce some random wealthy stranger. You can’t wait to see his face.
A couple of minutes later, there’s a lot of agitation around you, and your coworkers whisper things. Inevitably, you look behind you, trying to understand what’s going on. You try to find Ana, but she’s nowhere to be seen, which is annoying because you’re sure she’d know what is going on.
Then, you look to your right. For a moment, it feels like you’re hallucinating. A man is walking in the hallways who strikingly looks like Jungkook. Your heartbeat instantly increases, your eyes follow him, and your mind goes completely blank. It’s him. There’s no doubt.
He’s wearing his lucky suit—the one he only uses for important meetings. You’ve seen him wearing it a couple of times. His hair is pushed the exact same way as in the picture he sent you an hour ago. What is he doing here? And why is everyone looking at him?
“Who is he?” you ask another coworker.
“It’s Jeon Jungkook,” John tells you.
Your heart drops instantly. Yeah, now, you’re a hundred percent sure that it’s him—your boyfriend.
“He’s the head of the Jeon Group and CEO of Jeon Pharmaceuticals,” he continues. “Apparently, he wants to buy the company.”
Your eyes move back to the man walking in the hallway. Never once does he look around; he’s just focused on following the man in front of him. Honestly, you don’t know how to react to the bomb that John just dropped on you.
How on earth are you finding out only now that Jungkook is the son of Jeon Minju, one of the most influential and wealthiest men on earth?
glimpse: if it’s fate, it should already be set onto your skin — that’s why jungkook’s initials are already on your finger. he’s always there for you, but not only for you. if you’re his fate, he’d rather not have it.
alternatively, jungkook’s your soulmate, but he doesn’t want to be.
[ soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love (at first), a lot of angst, more fluff n wholesome moments, emotional constipation, yearning, jealousy, swearing, reverse cards that make u cheer, redemption arc, i swear to u that this does not hurt as much as heartburn did ]
notes: i’m back with a big fic!!! :D this was originally supposed to be named something else but i realized that the title was Too Serious and u know what,,, ten listens later as i write this, i realized that i’m obsessed with this song that i received from this ask and wow thank u so much anon <33 although the rec isn’t originally for this fic, it fits perfectly and i can’t thank u enough <33
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)
˙⋆✮ They say having feelings for your brother’s best friend is never a good idea…
But loving Jungkook feels like the easiest thing in the world.
He’s been by your side for as long as you can remember, so it’s only natural for you to feel devastated when your brother, Dohyun, tells you that Jungkook is about to get married.
For the first time ever, loving him doesn’t feel easy at all.
𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 : brother’s best friend!jungkook x f!reader
𝙘𝙬 : age gap (jk is 32, reader is 22 ops), tension, reader is WHIPPED, pining, initial unrequited love (my fav), eventual smut (!!adding new warnings when needed!!)
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